In Defense of Romance

The inspiration for this post came from a rather strange place. Ashley of BookNook posted a DNF review of Orleans, a book I really liked. She listed her reasons (all quite valid btw - this is in no way a criticism of her decision to DNF) and one of them was the lack of romance. Ashley openly admits that she likes there to be some romance in her books.

Confession time: I love romance in my novels. I really, really do.

Honestly, my liking for Orleans was more of an exception than a rule. I'm more accepting of a lack of romance in dystopian/post-apocalyptic, since circumstances don't make it easy and because there have been such terrible abuses of the genre in that respect. Normally, when I'm reading a book, I have my eye out for someone to ship with the main character. I like there to be a couple to root for, even if there's hardly any romantic tension, I'll imagine it down the road.

There are exceptions of course. I don't want romance in middle grade or children's fiction most of the time, and it doesn't belong in a story like A Clockwork Orange. Most of the time, though, I want there to be something. It doesn't need to be overt, but I want there to be a hint of it.

Bonus points if there are also unicorns.

Lately, with all of the instalove and horribly done love triangles, I feel like there's a sense that romance is overdone in general and that there should be more books without any romance.  Actually, I don't think it's the romance that's the problem with books these days, so much as how romance is being handled. The bestselling YA books depict horribly unhealthy, unrealistic relationships, so that's what gets churned out over and over in an attempt to repeat the success of Cassandra Clare, Lauren Kate, Stephenie Meyer, etc. The problem is writing on a formula rather than writing real, vibrant characters who will behave in a way that is logical with their mental processes.

This may be pathetic to admit, but I live vicariously through my fiction, and a sweet, realistic romance gives me hope and feels that I generally do not find in daily life. I feel almost embarrassed to admit that I actually love romance in books because it doesn't feel cool to say that these days, but there it is.

This is why I spend most of my time reading.

Let's embrace romance, but get rid of these tropes that are giving romance a bad name:

Instalove: I've written about this before, and I still stand by that. The characters might FEEL like they're in love immediately, but, if you go with that, show some of the growing pains between the idea of love and really falling in love with the person, rather than the idea of them.

Abusive Relationships: Obviously, fiction SHOULD cover abusive relationships. They're out there, and people, teens and adults alike, will benefit from an awareness of what makes an unhealthy relationship. However, I do not want to see these relationships romanticized. Fiction should imitate life, yes, but it's also making a point, and when the heroine is happy to be bullied by her boyfriend it sends a terrible message. Especially in teen fiction, I don't want to see an abusive relationship upheld as a romantic ideal and ending happily ever after. The heroine needs to come to some sort of awareness of her situation, even if she can't get out of it. This was handled well in Falling for You, but terribly in Nobody But Us.

An appropriate response to a controlling boyfriend.

Couples With No Chemistry or Personality: So many romances I've read have fallen flat because all of the characters are flat themselves. If Brandon Blah and Karen Cardboard fall in love, what the heck do I care. They're always in love the first time they meet, but they literally have nothing to talk about aside from their declarations of love, compliments on physical appearance, and minimal discussion of the current crisis. You can just seem them as an old married couple communicating in annoyed grunts because they realized they have nothing to talk about. I especially see this in male love interests in a love triangle. You can have Broody McDouche or Aggressive MacAsshole. What a choice! Of course, the heroines making those choices are generally so passive and without personality they need someone like that to tell them how to think. This is no good. At all. If the couple would not be able to entertain themselves for a week just by talking and with no crisis going on, they're not going to make it.

The Plot Keeping Them Apart: Relationships are really hard. The people in the relationship are the biggest barrier to the success of the relationship in most cases. Yet, in fiction, it's almost always the parents, the government, a curse, etc. keeping the couple apart. I think of this as Romeo & Juliet syndrome; everyone's trying to keep us apart so ours is an intense and tragic love. Not buying it.

Love Triangles: Radiant Shadows wrote a great post on this that is worth checking out. As she says, love triangles are not wrong in and of themselves, but they often combine elements of every other problem in romance, like instalove or flat characters. I'd also like to see less where the MC is leading on both of the love interests.

The Focus on LOVE: Listen, love is great, I'm sure. However, it seems like every book wants the MC to be in lurve with someone by the end. The reader doesn't need to be told they're in love; if they have great chemistry, we can imagine that for them. Every teenager doesn't think every encounter is love. Actually, I would really like to see more YA where the heroine dates casually for a while. It seems like they're mostly either single or in a SUPER SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

I think this is a great attitude I don't see enough in fiction.

The Hottest Blah in School: Is anyone else sick of the mysterious transfer student or the hottest dude/chick suddenly being inextricably drawn to the MC? I know I am. Why can't normal people fall in love? Every hero doesn't need to be the most attractive guy ever in the world for readers to root for the couple. For example, I ship Eleanor and Park so hard, and they are both not remotely the stereotypical hero and heroine.

Do you like romance in your books or do you wish it would stop? What are some other bad romance tropes?