Cover Snark (23)

Welcome everyone to cover snark where no cover is safe from my judgment! It's been another slow week for covers, BUT there have been a lot of really hilarious ones, so strap on your judging shoes and get ready! Remember, the titles will link you up to GR if you want to add a book to your tbr pile and you can often see a larger image of a cover by clicking on it.

It's SNARKING TIME!

False Sight (False Memory #2) - Dan Krokos

Thoughts: Anyone have any clue what's going on in these covers? No? Cool cool cool. We'll just run away from the shiny. Hey, look, this time THREE people are running. This must indicate more danger. Sweet. Also, this time we're being attacked by fiery orange instead of icy blue, which clearly means we should expect many 'splosions.

Silent Echoes (Games of Zeus #2) - Aimee Laine

Thoughts: NGL, I kind of like the cover for Silent Echoes. It's the house, which is paranormal and creepy and sort of realistic but also cartoonish. It appeals to me for some reason, although I'm a bit concerned that it looks like there's a skeleton in that bottom right window. Ugh to that. However, I didn't look at it and think adult romance or Greek mythology, so there's that. And can we talk about how awful the first book's cover is? I like shirtless, fit men as much as the next girl, but they look dumb on book covers, so can we stop?

Stalked by Death - Kelly Hashway

Thoughts: This cover has clearly been edited to within an inch of its life, but I still think it's pretty, since I rate girl in pretty outfit covers by how much I want what they're wearing. The font however is not doing the book ANY favors. Similar to this?

Reaping Me Softly - Kate Evangelista

 Thoughts: Taking my pain with his weapon / Ending my life is his job / Reaping me softly with his scythe... Okay, okay, you get the idea. If I don't look at this too closely, I like it; I mean, the colors are pretty, so that's nice. But then you really look at it, and you go WTF WHY IS SHE BLINDFOLDED? There's no one else there...did she do that to herself? Look closer and it's clear that the blindfold is made of lace or something, which is totally see through, so what's the point? Does she think it looks good? Then there's the butterflies, which, as we all know, should never be used unnecessarily on YA covers, because every cover designer of books about death are like 'omg, I just had the most original idea: I'll put butterflies on the cover to symbolize the fleeting beauty of life!!!!' Also, why are the butterflies IN A CAGE?? And why is there burlap wrapped around the bottom of it? What is the cage hanging from? Why isn't she wearing a jacket in this frozen wasteland? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

How to Survive Ancient Spells & Crazy Kings - Laura Pauling

Thoughts: You probably thought you'd just seen my pick for indie fail of the week, but, if so, you were wrong. Enjoy this creepy, vaguely racist monstrosity of a cover. I seriously cannot get over the fact that they've got two white kids about to be attacked by an evil native. I'm trying to ignore the horrifying green necklace or whatever the fuck that is in front.

Through These Wicked Nights (The Guardians of the Night #2) - Pixie Lynn Whitefield

Thoughts: I so didn't know Pixie had books! I am a terrible blogger friend. The first cover has a sort of Carrie Ryan feel to it. This one is mining fairly standard girl in a pretty dress cover territory. I love the red hair, even if it is clearly died. The angel wings I'm not a huge fan of, but I'm going to call them win for being original and not being feathered. Thank goodness for that! What I don't get is what's up with that mirror. There's probably context for that in the books, I assume, but as an impartial viewer, it's weird.

Canary - Rachele Alpine

 Thoughts: Y'all, I do not get this cover one bit. Seriously, what? This sounds like your average fancy school drama with basketball. Well, I see now that the bird is standing on an older-than-dirt basketball maybe. The only thing I can think is that the cover artist really liked the original cover for The Mockingbirds, so they had to do the bird thing. I still don't get, though, why it needs to look like an old book or why they thought it was a good idea to make the bird weep.

Struck by Lightning: The Carson Phillips Journal - Chris Colfer

 Thoughts: Sorry for the image taken from Perez Hilton, which apparently did the reveal for some reason, but the only other image of it was TINY. So Colfer has ANOTHER book already, and it's apparently also a motion picture? IMDB says it is, and it has a charmingly awful illustration standing in for cover art. Oh dear. That does not make me feel less like this cover is a joke. I mean, come on. This can't be the real cover, right? It's a prank? It feels like a prank.

How My Summer Went Up in Flames - Jennifer Salvato Doktoski

Thoughts: At first I was all, boring contemporary cover with skinny jeans, yawn. I do like her shirt, though. Then I read the book blurb, which says this: "Rosie’s always been impulsive. She didn’t intend to set her cheating ex-boyfriend’s car on fire." At this point, I realized that red thing she's holding, which previously didn't mean a thing to me, is a gas can. Now this cover makes me laugh and I think it's fantastic. How can you not tbr a book about a girl who torches the car of a cheating ex?

Starbright (Starbright #1) - Rachel Higginson

Thoughts: Authors, I must emphasize again the importance of having your book on GR before doing the cover reveal. All those people who want to read it when they see the cover have no way of marking it and might forget about it. Just saying. I've linked to her author page, so, when it's there, people can add it. *shakes head* I think this one is pretty, despite the absurdity. I mean, why is her hair like that? And purple trees?

Cover Battle: The Trouble with Fate (Mystwalker #1) - Leigh Evans

First Attempt vs. Final: GR totally thought the cover was that one on the left, so I'm assuming they changed that. GOOD CALL. I totally thought this was a rerelease when I saw that cover over their, because it looks straight up out of the 90s. Good job redesigning. This new one calls Shiver to mind quite a bit.

Golden - Jessi Kirby

 Thoughts: I like the yellow flowers and such behind the title, though I'm sure they will also piss off many people. Either you like that kind of stuff or you don't. Title: pretty and glowy. Sun: too shiny. I really don't like when they do that on covers almost ever. Model: hard to see properly because of overly enthusiastic sunshine. Tagline: balls awful.

Demon Royale (Dreamer Slayer #2) - Jill Cooper

 Thoughts: Man, these indies are working overtime this week to be both bad AND entertainingly so. Can anyone explain to me why the covers insist the series is called Meadows Creek, but that every bookish site says it's Dreamer Slayer? No? Well, can you tell me why she's holding a lantern and/or very strange Halloween candy basket? How about why she chose to wear that? This one actually looks pretty well done, and it's cool that she's stepping out of the picture, but it still ends up a hot mess. Also, it kind of looks like she doesn't have toes. O_O

Cover Battle: Frost Burned (Mercy Thompson #7) - Patricia Briggs

US vs. UK: Much as I want to love all things British, this cover really isn't working for me. Also, the site where I first found this didn't mention it was a UK cover AND said it was a new series. I was, as a result, very confused.

When Will You Rise: Stories to End the World - Mira Grant

Thoughts: How many times do I have to tell people to release large images of the cover so people can actually tell what's going on? Sigh. This doesn't look great from what I can see, though, so maybe it's a blessing. But it's Mira Grant, so who flipping cares?

With All My Soul (Soul Screamers #7) - Rachel Vincent

Thoughts: They give excellent pretty dress cover. Seriously, I know there's nothing to them but dresses but look how many fucks I give about that.

Rise of the Infected - Monique Morgan

 Thoughts: I think that cover speaks for itself. Also, we have a new combatant for worst indie of the week. I am TORN.

Outstanding Cover of the Week: How My Summer Went Up in Flames  - Jennifer Salvato Doktorski