Cover Snark (24)

Hello, my people! Are you ready to snark it up with me? There's PLENTY of material this week, so get excited! First, I have some changes to announce. I used to organize Cover Snark by the order I found the cover reveals. Now, I've got the COVER BATTLES broken out to the end, with a final indie surprise to cap the experience. Get out your mental red pen and tell me where these covers went wrong...or, less often, right!

So, which covers do you guys like best this week? Hate the most?

Fireblood (Fireblood #1) - Trisha Wolfe

 Thoughts: .... Maybe if I stand really far away, this will look good.This is just a hot mess, mostly because of the models. If you look at just the lower half, it does look okay, though that sword looks kinda fake. The worst part for me is the girl's expression. There are NO LIGHTS ON UPSTAIRS. She looks so incredibly vacant. Has he roofied her? What is this? Then, there's the dude, who, I'm sorry, looks a bit like a creeper. At first, I thought he looked a bit roguish with the scar on his forehead, but then realized, no, that was just a line from the awful title font.

Transfusion (Aurora Sky: Vampire Hunter #1) - Nikki Jefford

Thoughts: Mostly meh. I like the wickedness of that knife, but I'm not a huge fan of the art style. Also, a personal pet peeve of mine is when the series name is bigger than the book title, because then I always mix them up!

Fractured Soul (Fractured Light #2) - Rachel McClellan

Thoughts: Not good, but not the worst. Her hair is interesting, and overall it's definitely an improvement on book one's cover.

The Perfect Clone - M. L. Stephens

Thoughts: lol whut. So creepy doll girl holds a key. Perhaps it opens that wall in some sort of Alice in Wonderland scenario? Terrifying cherubim statures. No worries, though. Dove, which may or may not represent Jesus, has got her back and will save her from the statues, which are probably about to attack "Blink" style.

The Holders (Holders #1) - Julianna Scott

 Thoughts: Yawn. I totally thought this was an indie at first glance, because of the awful font choices. This one's especially disappointing, since the other Strange Chemistry covers I've seen have been great. I guess the designers were tired from all that hard work on the others.

'Til the World Ends - Short stories by Julie Kagawa, Ann Aguirre, & Karen Duvall

 Thoughts: Simple and gorgeous. I like that there's clearly something behind the font, but it's not clear what. I also think it's awesome how there are veins instead of filigree. The one thing I don't like is how much bigger Kagawa's name is than the other contributors' names. Unless her story is as long as the other two combined, that's bullshit.

Flee - Miranda Kavi

 Thoughts: In the words of River Tam, "TOO. MUCH. HAIR." That aside, this is pretty, though unoriginal and conveying nothing about the plot. This isn't on GR, but I've linked to the author's blog which revealed the cover and the blurb.

Kitty Rocks the House (Kitty Norville #11) - Carrie Vaughn

Thoughts: My goodness but these covers are unfortunate. The biggest problem with them is that each one has a poorly photoshopped animal. This is actually the best animal of the bunch. Also, FAR TOO MUCH YELLOW. Just STOP it with the yellow already, okay? Look how much better the ones are that aren't YELLOW!

Starglass - Phoebe North 

Thoughts: I really like the color scheme, but meh. I'm just not really feeling the cover. The font for the title feels wrong and that jacket doesn't look like it fits her very well.

If I Should Die (Revenants #3) - Amy Plum 

Thoughts: Boo. This is disappointing. This cover just does not live up to the gorgeousness of the previous two. First problem: the lack of a definitive color scheme, deep and rich. The scheme seems to be 'brown-ish,' which isn't exactly the best shade to roll with. Second problem: Awkward posing. She looks like she was staring at the river and is now turning away to start to walk. Only her progress is limited, since she's being CAPTURED BY PLUM VINES. Final problem: They decided that they should stop having random filigree and make it DO something, namely chomp the heroine and form a lame-ass heart in the sky. Things I do like: the Paris backdrop and the creepy shadow on the bottom left.

How to Marry an Alien (My Alien Romance #3) - Magan Vernon

 

Thoughts: These are pretty well made so far as indies go, which is why I think it's a damn shame they end up looking like THIS. What is this cover? Is she the alien? And we know that because she is wearing absurdly huge glasses? I DON'T KNOW.

Widow's Web (Elemental Assassin #7) - Jennifer Estep

Thoughts: I like the covers for this series, quite a bit (most of them). They're rocking the UF powerful heroine vibe and I dig it. This one's definitely the worst of the lot, though. It just has this cheesy vibe to it that feels really out of place. I blame the font.

Midnight Blue-Light Special (InCryptid #2) - Seanan McGuire

Thoughts: I'm not personally a big fan of these claymation style looking covers. I will say, though, that this one looks WAY better than book one. If these books are anything like her Mira Grant ones, there's no way the author name should be in pink. EVER.

 Sacrifices (Shadow Grail #3) - Mercedes Lackey & Rosemary Edghill

Thoughts: The fuck is this? I mean, for real, how did anyone look at this cover and think 'oh, yeah, this is JUST right?' This looks poorly made and is in poor taste. I just can't even handle this. Someone please snark on this in the comments, because I am too grossed out to do so properly right now. This cover is even worse than THIS ONE, which is one of the worst big 6 covers I've seen.

Abandon (Possession #3) - Elana Johnson

 Thoughts: I really like the simplicity of these covers. However, am I the only one who cracks up every time I look at that test tube? Something about the combination of pregnancy test pink and that shape makes me think condom. So inappropro, I know, but that's what I see.

Undone - Cat Clarke

Thoughts: "How far would you fall for the truth?" Oh, I'd say about three stories. You know, it's enough that you'll take some significant injury, but still be alive to enjoy the truth you just got. Tag lines, please stop. As for the rest of the cover, I really like it. The title treatment is totally stealing the show and I love it.

Cover Battle: Solstice - P. J. Hoover

 Self-Pub vs. Tor: Let's be honest: there's no contest here. The self-pub cover way overuses the shiny sun effect and it just screams self-pub. I do like, though, that the new cover retains the color sceme and some of the ideas of the first. Okay, so I have some issues with this one, like the font choices, but really when I look at this new cover I just think 'PRETTY.' Also, I seriously love the partially domed city in the background. Also, you almost never see a cover model in shorts. AND these don't show her bum. Hurrah!

Cover Battle: The Scorpio Races - Maggie Stiefvater

Hardcover vs Paperback: The paperback cover is freaking BADASS. Look at that horse! I am somewhat tempted to go buy this book even though odds are fairly high I won't like it just because the cover rocks so hard.

Cover Battle: What the Spell? (Life's a Witch #1) - Brittany Geragotelis

 Self-Pub vs. S&S Take 1 vs. S&S Take 2: Clearly Simon & Schuster is having difficulties with this book. They revealed the cover in the middle a couple months ago, I think it was. I really don't like it, so I'm glad they redid it, but...it's still not doing anything for me. Yet again, I'm going to do somethin rare and declare the self-pub cover the winner. It's just much more unique than these. The author treatment isn't great, but otherwise, I like it quite a bit. It also makes the book look a bit darker and less superficial.

Ashfall (Ashfall #1) - Mike Mullin

Hardback vs. Paperback: Tanglewood, a small press, has decided to get in on the changing covers mid-series action. You know you've made it as a publisher when you can afford to annoy your fan base by giving them non-matching covers, so CONGRATS, GUYS! Okay, that's not the real reason. Mike Mullin wrote a post about that and it's apparently because B&N rules the book world. No, really. Anyway, though I'm not in love with the original, it makes more sense to me than the new one. I do think it's interesting that the hands have lost their grip going to book two, but...for some reason I also find the hands off-putting.

Spittake of the Week: Women's Island - Ashley Nicole Shelton

Thoughts: Photoshop can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Seriously, she looks like some sort of Frankenstein's monster compiled by someone who once saw a picture of a whole human and may also have seen some owls. This doesn't appear to be on GR yet, so I'm afraid I can't link you up. I know you're all crying because you're desperate to read this now.

Outstanding Cover of the Week: The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater (paperback cover)