Cover Snark (29)

Due to the large number of covers this week and some technical difficulties, namely blogger thinking ctrl-Z means delete every fucking word of the post when it was almost finished instead of removing the last bit of typing and deciding that closing without saving the changes meant the changes should be saved (I need a drink), I'm not going to be including the series covers this week, only the new one, except in some rare cases.

1: Dead Ever After (Sookie Stackhouse #13) - Charlaine Harris

Thoughts: The covers for this series were always strange, but I think they've gotten weirder. I'm pretty sure this cover only makes sense if you take LSD, because this looks very "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" to me. What this should have been is a picture of Alexander Skarsgard. Just saying.

2: Phoebe Pope and the Year of Four (Shapers #1) - Nya Jade

Thoughts: Yawn. You can tell she's not human because she has crazy makeup. Also not sure what's up with the orange stuff. Crazy clothing?

3: Reboot (Reboot #1) - Amy Tintera

 Thoughts: Love the simplicity of this one and how well it fits the title. I also love that the tagline is something that could only apply to this particular book.

4: Day After (The 19th Year #2) - Emi Gayle

Thoughts: He has kind of a ridiculous face. Also, I loathe that tagline, and abhor the ghost of a person on the bottom right.

5: Transparent - Natalie Whipple

 Thoughts: I'm sure lots of people love this, but I really don't like it. The colors are too bright and off putting, like she's in the middle of a circus or getting arrested by the cops. I don't like crowd of people walking through her or that she looks like she's ready to perform on stage. It's a sad day when the part I like best about a cover is the tagline.

6: Arclight - Josin L. McQuein

Thoughts: Again, I'm just really not a fan of the cover palette for this one, and my favorite part is the tagline. Still, this cover does capture my eye and engage my curiosity, so that's good.

7: Inception (The Reaping Chronicles #1) - Teal Haviland

Thoughts: I see another ghost person in the background! Stop with the ghost people, cover designers. Otherwise, I actually find this quite appealing, even if I keep making movie jokes in my head.

8: Dirty Little Christmas (Marisela Morales #3) - Julie Leto

 Thoughts: Bahaha, she's sexy-posing by herself with a gun in front of her fake-ass Christmas tree. Also, she appears to be unwrapping herself like a present. I guess no one gave her any real gifts.

9: Captivated by You (Superstars in Love #1) - Diane Alberts

Thoughts: Or, more accurately, Captivated by Myself.

10: Shadow of the Mark (Carrier Trilogy #2) - Leigh Fallon

Thoughts: Second verse: same as the first. Let's count the changes, shall we: 1) dress color 2) dress train extra poofy 3) body tilted differently 4) series info added to the bottom 5) clouds darker. That's it. Even better, if you look closely, you can tell that they are, in fact, using the exact same image. They've inverted it and changed the dress train and color to try to make it look different, but it is NOT. Lazy designers, you get NO POINTS.

11: Ashes on the Waves - Mary Lindsey

Thoughts: I am disappoint. I expected awesomeness from this cover, but I find it entirely mediocre and poorly done too. She appears to be holding up her dress train like she's curtsying to the sky, which is ridiculous. However, the big problem is how photoshopped it looks. Also, that title font doesn't fit at all.

12: Charmed Vengeance (The Aether Chronicles #2) - Suzanne Lazear

 Thoughts: For a cover that obviously had a lot of work put into it, this is awful. I do love the steampunkishness of the cover. However, why are they mud-splattered? They're on a freaking dirigible, and, to my knowledge, those aren't generally muddy. Perhaps there's a poo-flinging monkey resident on this ship that really hates these guys? I get that they were trying to imply all of the action and adventure by not having the models look perfect and clean. Unfortunately, it just looks stupid because of how shiny and perfect their hair and clothes look (except for a few spots of mud on her left sleeve. The rest of her clothing, however is so clean it glints.

13: Man Drought - Rachael Johns

Thoughts: This ground right here is parched just like our vaginas.

14: High Risk (Adrenaline #1) - Vivian Arend

Thoughts: Mostly, this is a boring romance cover, however I love that she's got her hair in a messy ponytail. Authenticity for the win!

15: Nantucket Blue - Leila Howland

Thoughts: Laaaaame. Also, when will we stop romanticizing beach makeout sessions and/or sex? You know what's the opposite of sexy? Sand EVERYWHERE.

16: Gameboard of the Gods (Age of X #1) - Richelle Mead

Thoughts: I find this cover boring, but I still want this book like burning.

17: Security - Mandy Baggott

 Thoughts: So I find this VERY confusing. On the cover reveal page, this book got compared to James Bond. This cover does not say James Bond at all. For an indie title, it looks nice, I guess, though so not like anything I'm interested in personally.

18: Unresisting (Unresisting #1) - Shane Morgan

Thoughts: In my mind, this is the author and/or cover designer's thought process: "There's nothing readers love more than a woman who knows her place and doesn't fight back! I'll make sure they know that's what my book is about by calling my book and series Unresisting. Then, on the cover, I'll put a girl in a dress, because ladies don't wear pants. The dress will be purple, because that's the girliest color (except for pink, which isn't edgy enough). Oooh, I know, I'll have her kneel and bow her head in supplication. Yeah, that's hot! Let's see, I should put the title on in pretty much the same shade as the background, because that looks AWESOME. Now all I need to finish up is a catchy tagline like 'Destiny ignites as the truth unfolds.' I like it, only I think it looks more menacing with an ellipsis. Hell yeah, I love my cover."

19: Emblaze (The Violet Eden Chapters #3) - Jessica Shirvington

 Thoughts: The cover designers clearly regret their design for Embrace, because these last two are nothing like it, except for the fonts. It's a good change, though, since the wings on Embrace were awful. I still think this looks like an adult paranormal romance, not YA though. Also, her hair looks weird and I don't know why there are black feathers floating in the air, since her wings are translucent.

20: A Conspiracy of Alchemists (The Chronicles of Light and Shadow #1) - Liesel Schwarz

 Thoughts: Just so you know, THIS BOOK IS SET IN PARIS. I actually like this quite a bit, although I think the title font could be better, and I'm not sure about her absurdly tiny hat.

21: Witch Fire (Burn Mark #2) - Laura Powell

 Thoughts: The covers for this series aren't particularly unique, but I do like them. They remind me a lot of the False Memory covers actually.

22: The Cursed (The League of the Black Swann #1) - Alyssa Day

 Thoughts: "Jackets look best without shirts." Said by no one ever. Seriously, that dude's wearing a full length coat with no shirt. He also appears to be sporting a mullet. Perhaps odder is how proud this cover is that this book is in print for the first time. Well, yeah, because it's just now being in published. She's not a debut author switching from self-publication, so I don't get why this needs to be on the cover.

23: Kiss of Temptation (Deadly Angels #3) - Sandra Hill

Thoughts: *snort* Oh my, that wasn't very ladylike. Do pardon me. Seriously, though, I'm supposed to find HIM tempting? Really? REALLY? 

24: Blue Bloods: The Graphic Novel (Blue Bloods: The Graphic Novel #1) - Robert Venditti, adapter

 Thoughts: Graphic novelizations: the sure sign that an author only cares about making money. Look at this shit! Are they even trying?

25: Icons (Icons #1) - Margaret Stohl

Thoughts: This color is awful. Also, lens flare. Great. And it's a dystopia, which means I'll have to read it. *headdesk*

26: Wolf with Benefits (Pride #8) - Shelly Laurenston

Thoughts: Make sure you go check out the other covers/titles in this series, because they are priceless. I actually approve of them because they're so obviously tongue in cheek.

27: Another Little Piece - Kate Karyus Quinn

 Thoughts: I actually really like this one, even if her outfit looks very Carrie in Sex and the City. I could do without the tagline, but otherwise approve.

28: Life After Theft - Aprilynne Pike

 Thoughts: I also like this one, though largely for the title. It's well done too.

29: Affliction - Laurell K. Hamilton

 Thoughts: Book 22? Will this series ever end? Oy. Also, I'm curious as to why they decided to cover up the woman's face with blue construction paper.

30: Born of Illusion - Teri Brown

 Thoughts: I like this one, though I would be afraid to say otherwise, since I think the model would hunt me down and kill me with her mind powers. If you could see both eyes, the power in them might turn you to stone.

31: Descent of Blood & Ascent of Blood (Red Veil #0.5-1) - Elizabeth Marx

Thoughts: You can thank Kayla Beck of Bibliophilia, Please for finding these two. Don't you just love when you can tell how much the models hate that their careers have come to this?

32: Demonosity - Amanda Ashby

 Thoughts: Cute, though it definitely skews younger. I really don't know why the shoes have to be all undone though.

33: Frozen - Melissa de la Cruz & Michael Johnston

 Thoughts: Other than the fact that I don't approve of splitting a single word across two lines, I like this quite a bit.

34: Golden Boy - Tara Sullivan

 Thoughts: TOO. MUCH. WHITE.

35: House of Secrets - Chris Columbus & Ned Vizzini

 Thoughts: Middle grade awesomeness. Is that a pirate ship house? Fantastic.

36: Loki's Wolves (Blackwell Pages #1) - K.L. Armstrong & M.A. Marr

 Thoughts: Kelley Armstrong + Melissa Marr? Be still, my book-loving heart! This one is also made of middle grade awesomeness. I love how menacing the wolves look and how ready that girl is to take them out with a stick.

37: Omens (Cainsville #1) - Kelley Armstrong

Thoughts: The intentionally blurry style is not one I particularly approve of. Mostly, I'm bored, but I do like the color scheme a lot.

38: The Life Beyond (The Other Life #2) - Suzanne Winnacker

Thoughts: I much prefer the UK covers to the US style, but the US ones fit the subject matter better. Can we stop comparing everything to The Hunger Games please? This series is about humans turned into cannibalistic monsters by a strain of disease and is not at all like The Hunger Games, except that scary things happen.

39: A Spear of Summer Grass - Deanna Raybourn

 Thoughts: Oooh, I like this, though perhaps just because it's so different from the others. I can't help wondering why she would wear her flapper dress for a jaunt into the African countryside, though.

40: The Runaway King (The Ascendance Trilogy #1) - Jennifer A. Nielsen

 Thoughts: Yawn. This is even more boring than the first cover in the series. Also, very much calls to mind The Warrior Heir.

41: September Girls - Bennett Madison

 Thoughts: Under water is a stupid place to make out. Unless they're mermaids. Are they? Pretty, though, ngl.

42: Parallel - Lauren Miller

 Thoughts: This wasn't on my tbr, but this cover = automatic add.

43: This Strange and Familiar Place (So Close to You #2) - Rachel Carter 

Thoughts: This looks a lot like the So Close to You cover. It's cool that her hair appears to have grown, and I like the sky better in this one. So I declare this an improvement.

Cover Battle 1: Born Wicked (The Cahill Witch Chronicles #1) - Jessica Spotswood

Hardback vs. Paperback: The hardback is one of my very favorite covers and the paperback looks like ABC family movie based on the book. Ugh.

Cover Battle 2: Scent of Magic (Healer #2) - Maria V. Snyder

US vs. UK: Neither one's great, but the US ones are so freaking cheesy. At least the UK one looks kind of badass.

Cover Battle 3: If I Should Die (Revenants #3) - Amy Plum

Take 1 vs. Take 2: The cover on the left was revealed a couple weeks back, and I can definitely see why they might redesign it, since I made fun of it forever. Unfortunately, this isn't better. In fact, I think it's a bit worse. The filigree is, thankfully, no longer in the shape of a heart, but there's EVEN MORE of it and it's an obnoxious shade of yellow. They needed to have less, not more. They did change the dress from a blah brown to red, but it doesn't pop anymore than it did before. The title font does match the previous books, so that element is better. They've also mostly taken out the reflection on the water to the right of her body, which is odd.

Cover Battle 4: Legacy of the Clockwork Key (Secret Order of Modern Amusementists #1) - Kristin Bailey

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Woo, a redesign I approve of! While I still think that bird looks lame, this is worlds better than that first one, especially because it manages to convey that the book is steampunk.

Cover Battle 5: Night School - C.J. Daugherty

 UK vs. US: Honestly, I didn't know this wasn't published in the US. Anyway, I love the new cover. It looks so creepy and awesome.

Cover Battle 6: The Becoming (The Becoming #1) - Jessica Meigs

Original vs. Redesign: Good choice to redesign. This looks nice now.

Cover Battle 7: Ground Zero (The Becoming #2) - Jessica Meigs

Original vs. Redesign: Again, an improvement, although I much prefer the cover with the lady on it.

Cover Battle 8: How to Lead a Life of Crime - Kirsten Miller

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Actually, I prefer the simpler cover. The redesign looks a little to reminiscent of Anna Dressed in Blood.

Cover Battle 9: The Dead and Buried - Kim Harrington

US vs. UK: The redesigned US cover lost in the battle to the first design, and now it loses to the UK cover, which I find both haunting and beautiful. I will praise the US cover for not having a lame tagline though. "She wants revenge."

Cover Battle 10: Perception - Kim Harrington

 US vs. UK: This time, though, the US has it. Though lens flare isn't my favorite, it works much better on the US cover. I also don't like the spots all over the UK one or the fact that her bangs completely cover her right eye. The UK one has a better tagline, though.

WTF of the Week: Beer and Groping in Las Vegas - Angela Quarles

 Thoughts: The title alone qualifies this as a WTF of the week. However, what really makes this cover so hilariously awful is the blurb at the top. I can in no way fathom how a book with this title and cover image could ever appeal to fans of those things.

Outstanding Covers
of the Week:  
Reboot by Amy Tintera & Parallel by Lauren Miller