Cover Snark (31)

Welcome to this week's edition of Cover Snark! You can feel to let your snark flag fly here. Of course, cover loving is also quite appropriate. This is a safe space, and we all know (sort of) that the cover doesn't reflect the quality of the book therein. Cover Snark is intended to be fun and to increase awareness of forthcoming books.

In the comments, let me know your picks and pans this week, and feel free to point out any hilarious things I missed!

1. Living in the Dark (Darkness Through the Light #1) - Rebekah Campbell

 Thoughts: Oof. Fallen was a pretty cover when it first came out, but I'm really tired of all of the covers that are repeating that. Seriously, they are so similar.

2. Kiss Me (The Keatyn Chronicles #2) - Jillian Dodd

Thoughts: The covers for these self-pubs are among my most loathed. I hate looking at her face. Also, is it just me or is her hair crimped at the very top?

3. Wicked Fate (The Wicked Trilogy #1) - Tabatha Vargo

 Thoughts: Fiery eyebrows have to be the lamest superhero power. Do not cross THE BURNING EYEBROW! Yeah, it just doesn't work.

4. Rouge - Leigh T. Moore

 Thoughts: I actually really like this. The cover font isn't right because this isn't a western, but I love the color palette they went with, the model is gorgeous, and I like the veil a lot.

5. Riptide - Lindsey Scheibe

 Thoughts: Yellow is not my favorite color, but I do like the action in this one and the title font. The tag line's not adding anything, although it does seem like there should be something in that space. Shouldn't there be some waves in that water? Otherwise, she's not a very good surfer.

6. Extracted (The Lost Imperials #1) - Sherry D. Ficklin & Tyler H. Jolley

 Thoughts: Not loving the dude (I think because of his slightly too shiny eyes) and I hate that title font, as it's really difficult to read. Otherwise, I'm okay with this cover. Ahhhh, except for the surprise lightning eye. Not cool!

7. The Bookman Histories (The Bookman Histories) - Lavie Tidhar

Thoughts: Why is there so much gold and yellow this week? Eesh. This is much too busy.

8. Bird Nerd - Tracy Edward Wymer

 Thoughts: Very cute. I love what they've done with the title, so that it's labeling the two figures.

9. A Box of Gargoyles (Maya and Valko #2) - Anne Nesbet

 Thoughts: Oh, middle grade, how I love your covers. This is totally adorable and creepy. MG covers do creepy forest better than anything else.

10. Hell to Pay (To Hell & Back #3) - Matthew Hughes

Thoughts: Teehee. My favorite part is the dinosaur, but he apparently won't be around for very long. 

11. Surrender (Section 8 #1) - Stephanie Tyler

Thoughts: No-face muscle man hold gun. He looks like he might be one of those guys whose biceps are so overworked he can't put his arms down quite all the way. Gross. Also, look at his veins popping out like whoa.

12. The Magic Mirror and the Seventh Dwarf - Tia Nevill

Thoughts: Bahahaha, mustache.

13. The Fifth Wave (The Fifth Wave #1) - Rick Yancey

Thoughts: That definitely says 'The 5 Wave.' Fail. In other news, boring.

14. The Ocean at the End of the Lane - Neil Gaiman

Thoughts: I CAN HAS? My goodness this is gorgeous and blue and creepy and I want it.

15. Make It Last - Bethany Lopez

Thoughts: Stubble update: subtly hairy.

16. Pieces (The Breakaway #2) - Michelle Davidson Argyle

Thoughts: What a non-embarrasing self-pub cover! My favorite thing about this is that she's dressed like a normal person in comfortable-looking clothing. How often does that happen on book covers? However, I really want to drag her to the hair salon, because her hair needs help STAT.

17. Emilie & the Hollow World - Martha Wells

Thoughts: Bahahaha, this clearly isn't quite finished. Honestly, though, I think they should keep that tag line: "'QUOTE TO GO HERE QUOTE TO GO HERE TO QUOTE TO GO IN HERE' XXXXXX XXXXXX" In all seriousness, though, I like the map feeling to this and the classy old-timey illustrations in the corner.

18. Fire & Frost - Meljean Brook, Carolyn Crane & Jessica Sims 

Thoughts: Purplish blue and orange...not a winning combination. Plus, where's the steampunk?

19. Bewere the Night: Tales of Shapeshifers and Werecreatures - Ekaterina Sedia, ed.

Thoughts: Be-WERE. Hardy-har. Pretty, but nothing out of the ordinary. I do like the backlighting on the title.

20. New Pride - Laura Pauling

Thoughts: You can tell she lives in the forest because she wears camo halter tops. Look at her blending! Where'd she go? I hope the kitty is the new terror, not the new love.

21. Ocean of Dust - Graeme Ing

Thoughts: Decent self-pub effort. I'm not sure why space is so incredibly close to the ground, though, or why the lightning hates that ship so much.

22. My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish - Mo O'Hara

Thoughts: *snorts* If I were a little kid, I would probably pick this up. I am super amused by this.

23. Secrets 3 (Secrets #3) - H.M. Ward

 Thoughts: Surprisingly, I like this self-pub romance cover way more than most I've seen. It's hot. However, his hair is hilarious, as is the fact that the quote is not attributed to anyone, giving me room to imagine that it should say "said by no one ever." The worst thing, though, is the title. I'm supposed to believe you write amazing and creative books when you can't manage to come up with a unique title for your books? I don't think so.

24. Darkness Unmasked (Dark Angels #5) - Keri Arthur

Thoughts: This is the UK/Australian cover. I have two major nits to pick with this. 1) The quote is on her crotch. 2) Charlaine Harris' name is HUGE. Clearly, they are trying to sell trick Harris fans into thinking this is either by her or at least contains a short story. Then, since it's book five in a series, they'll have to buy the previous four. Not cool.

25. The Lies You Told Me - Jessica Ruston

Thoughts: Sort of generic, but for a small press this is good. I like her red umbrella.

26. Who Needs Magic? (Magic #2) - Kathy McCullough

Thoughts: Cute, though I would like to have someone make sure she's not dead. Since it's fairy tale-themed, she may be waiting for the kiss to rouse her.

27. The Symptoms of My Insanity - Mindy Raf

Thoughts: Like! That's so cool and like nothing I've seen. Approve.

28. Falling from Eternity - Megan Duncan

Thoughts: Is there a reason she looks illustrated and he looks real? Mostly, I like this, but that creeps me out a lot.

29. Shattered (Shade #3.5) - Jeri Smith Ready

Thoughts: ICK.

30. Clockwork Fairy Tales: A Collection of Steampunk Fables - Stephen L. Antczak & James C. Basset, eds.

Thoughts: Steampunk birdie, you are adorable! The colors seem a little off to me, but this is decent.

31. All That Glitters - Aita Ighodaro

Thoughts: If you look at a small version of this cover, it looks like she's naked with bad tan lines. Swim suit color fail.

32. Tarnish (The Royal Circle #2) - Katherine Longshore

Thoughts: Meh. I wish they'd done something more unique with this. Girl in a historical dress is all they've for for us. Seems a waste of the gorgeous title font. Tag line: acceptable.

33. My Lord's Invitation to Passion - Bronwen Evans

Thoughts: Dear Sir, I am writing to invite you to Passion, my masculine-destroying pink bedroom this e'en. Do tell my servant whether you intend to come sometime soon, as all the blood rushes to my head in this sexy pose. Also, I'm getting myself ready for you. ;) XOXOXO, Imogen

34. This Side of Jealousy (The Innocents #2) - Lili Peloquin

 Thoughts: Title = Fitzgerald reference? Wow, they did a remarkable job locating snotty-faced teens. I want to smack all of them, particularly Mr. Bottom Left corner. STOP SMIRKING AT ME!

35. Deceiving Destiny (The Bleeding Heart Trilogy #2) - Nadege Richards

Thoughts: She's floating, possibly dead, and her dress just exploded into butterflies. O_O Just no.

36. Five Summers - Una LaMarche

Thoughts: Pretty colors. I want to go to there.

37. Sylo - D.J. MacHale

Thoughts: I do not want to go to there. Now that is a tag line I like. It gives me a better idea of the plot, rather than just spouting off nonsense. Is the game being run by aliens? Title font is also a win.

38. Temping Is Hell - Cathy Yardley

Thoughts: Yawn. I do like the tiny devil.

39. Hidden Gates (P.J. Stone Gates Trilogy #1) - D.T. Dyllin

Thoughts: At first glance, this is just another boring close-up of an alien's eye. Then, though, you notice that this person has been caught reading a cheesy romance novel.

40. Heart of the Ocean - Heather B. Moore

 Thoughts: "Get the fuck away from me, BIRD."

41. The Moon and More - Sarah Dessen

Thoughts: For the record, I still loathe how the author treatment on Sarah Dessen's new books. However, I love the picture: the skirt, how carefree she is, the colors.

42. Wethering the Storm (Mighty Storm #2) - Samantha Towle

Thoughts: Let the projectile vomiting begin. So many things bother me about this. 1) The tramp stamp of angel guitars flying in the sky. 2) The fact that it says "Save the Date" above it for no apparent reason. 3) This disgusting shade of pink. 4) That the title is Wethering the Storm, probably a pun on a character's name, and they decided to write Weathering and then cross out the A. 5) How completely bored the dude looks with everything. 6) Are they the performers at this concert? If so, are they doing it on stage? Is that the act? If they ARE the performers, why are they behind the crowd, which they appear to be? If they're not, what's with the guitars in the air? And again, why are they having sex at the back of a concert? 7) She's making a heart with her overly-manicured fingers.

43. Sure Signs of Crazy - Karen Harrington

Thoughts: Cute! Middle grade covers always make my heart happy. Presumably the final cover won't have the green circle on it.

44. The Sin Eater's Confession - Ilsa J. Bick

Thoughts: New Ilsa J. Bick book! *dances* This cover is gross, though.

45. Mystic (The Soul Seekers #3) - Alyson Noel

Thoughts: Pretty. Looks a lot more like it belongs in the Shadow Falls series than in this one, but whatever. Seriously, this series does not match at all.

46. The Age Atomic (Empire State #2) - Adam Christopher

Thoughts: The comic book nerd in me is all over this cover. Also, the lime green will totally jump out at you on the shelves.

47. You Look Different in Real Life - Jennifer Castle

Thoughts: Awesome. This title makes me want to know more. The streaks of magenta in her hair are awesome.

48. Home to Whiskey Creek (Whiskey Creek #4) - Brenda Novak

Thoughts: This GIF expresses how I feel precisely.

49. Biting Bad (Chicagoland Vampires #8) - Chloe Neill

Thoughts: Purple! Love it, despite the leather pants. She looks like a badass, and she has muscles (even if her arms are tiny). The title sounds like a Breaking Bad reference. Also, for reference, this is an appropriate size for Charlaine Harris' name to be on a book she's blurbing.

50. Walking Disaster (Beautiful #2) - Jamie McGuire

 Thoughts: You know what, I'm going to let the stupid tattoo business speak for itself. I have two things I want to say. First off, Colleen Hoover's taking a chance blurbing this. Secondly, the lead up to this cover reveal was HILARIOUS. I hate when pubs make a huge deal out of it and make readers jump through hoops just to see the cover. This time, though, it was the best. Why? Well, the deal was that if Jamie McGuire hit 10,000 followers by November 5, they would reveal it on the 6th. Problem was that she was only at 7,000 or so. They extended the time needed another day. Then they gave up and released it. McGuire currently has 9,358 followers. Desperate bid for followers FAIL.

Cover Battle 1: Pushing the Limits (Pushing the Limits #1) - Katie McGarry

Hardback vs. Paperback: We're sideways now. Why would this be better? Also, I feel a bit more like a creeper because of how close we're zoomed in to them. I think being further away fits the story better, because in the larger shot, it's a lot clearer that the two of them are in their own little world.

Cover Battle 2: What's Left of Me (The Hybrid Chronicles #1) - Kat Zhang

Us vs. German: Obviously the cover image is the same, but I much prefer the font treatments on the US cover. The blue of the author name just pops and I like the larger title. The pink of the series info on the German cover is too much. A thing I've always wondered about foreign covers, which often do this: why is the title changed to the language in question and the series remains in English? Also, why change the series title if you're not translating to a new language? For those who are curious, the German title translates to The Forbidden.

Cover Battle 3: Haze (The Rephaim #2) - Paula Weston

Australia/NZ vs. UK: I dream of a week with no angel wing covers. Apparently, that's just a pipe dream. For the record, I loathe both sets of wings here, but the purple are slightly less nonsensical. In general, the colors of the US cover are better. Tag line: Obnoxious. Staccato. Stuff. Blah.

Cover Battle 4: The Way We Fall (Fallen World #1) - Megan Crewe

Hardback vs. Paperback: Sadly, I couldn't find a larger version of the new cover, which is why they're so small. The changes are relatively minor, but I like the added detail in the background. It makes the cover much more appealing for me.

Cover Battle 5: The Lives We Lost (Fallen World #2) - Megan Crewe

Take 1 vs. Take 2: This redesign is Christina-approved. I like that they didn't change much, but the changes they made are all for the better. The cover just generally looks more interesting now with the addition of the snow. While I understand the creepy vibe they were going for contrasting the innocence of the swing with the creepiness of the title, I can't look at that cover without laughing. Good job, guys!

Cover Battle 6: Hidden (Hidden #1) - Marianne Curley

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Yet again, I very much approve of this cover change. While the feather filigree is not my favorite thing ever, I love the title font and think it's pretty cool how the one feather is covering her eyes. Most importantly, the original cover sucked balls.

Cover Battle 7: Gilt (The Royal Circle #1) - Katherine Longshore

Hardback vs. Paperback: Okay, so the hardback cover isn't my favorite cover ever, but it has the virtue of being very unique and I love the way the title pops. The paperback cover just looks so tawdry. The guy even kind of looks like Jonathan Rhys Myers.

Cover Battle 8: Dark Parties - Sara Grant

Hardback vs. Paperback: Honestly, I don't care much either way, but I think the original cover was a bit more distinctive. I also don't know why the title font in the new one is rotated 90 degrees, except to make it fit better.

Cover Battle 9: Half Lives - Sara Grant

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Now this one makes me mad. Wrathful. See, I LOVE that first cover. I would have liked the new one fairly well had it come first, but compared to how amazingly cool the first one is, it sucks. I'm sure lots of people will like the new one better because of how streamlined it is, but it's not for me.

Cover Battle 10: The Sea of Tranquility - Katja Millay

Indie vs. Simon & Schuster: The new cover is really cool, and then you notice that the white space is spilled, melted ice cream and die of laughter.

  

 WTF of the Week: Kiss of Fire (Imdalind #1) - Rebecca L. Ethington

 Thoughts: Zombie girl falling through space dreams of your fiery kisses! Or your brains. It's really unclear; moans are a bit hard to interpret.

Outstanding Cover of the Week: 
The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman