Cover Snark (39): Why Are Wolves Such Voyeurs?

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

I skipped a week for the holidays, so I have two weeks of covers to snark, though it's still been pretty slow and I've been a trifle more particular, so the selection shouldn't be much more overwhelming than usual. Posting will be back to the usual next week.

Commenting pro tip: The easiest way to comment on such a long post is to open the post in two windows (really easy if you use Google Reader). Comment in one and scroll the covers in the other. That's actually how I comment on other people's reviews too. I can't remember all my comments by the time I get to the box!

1. Indelible (The Twixt #1) - Dawn Metcalf

Thoughts: The Twixt? Whatver. That rose is gorgeous, though I find the cover as a whole a bit boring.

2. Hunted (The Iron Druid Chronicles #6) - Kevin Hearne

Thoughts: Atticus' little soul patch makes me laught every single time. Also hilarious? The dude with antlers in the background. Fear the deadly Deer Man!

3. Sworn to Raise (Courtlight #1) - Terah Edun

Thoughts: Who, me? Little ol' me has never played poker in my life before. BUT I WILL RAISE YOU WITH MY PAIR OF TWOS!

4. Midnight Frost (Mythos Academy #5) - Jennifer Estep

Thoughts: She seems out of proportion. Mostly, though, I just hate the violet eyes. A big eyeroll for another purple-eyed speshul snowflake.

5. Tempting the Jaguar - Katie Reus

Thoughts: LOL. I do not want to know what the jaguar in the title is referring to. Not one bit.

6. Date Me/Love Me/Hate Me (The Kaetyn Chronicles #3, 4, 5) - Jillian Dodd

Thoughts: My goodness but I hate these covers. These may be among my most-hated covers. Her face just bothers me. Hate Me's the best cover in the series because the black and white profile shot works so much better.

7. Island of Fire (The Unwanteds #3) - Lisa McMann

Thoughts: Meh. I usually like middle grade covers more than this, but this one's not working for me. I think there's too much beige or something.

8. Heavy Metal (Goddesses Rising #2) - Natalie J. Damschroder

Thoughts: Even with massive biceps and months on steroids, STILL CAN'T LIFT CHAINS.

9. Tristis Manor - J.R. Wagner

Thoughts: This is from an indie publisher and I think it's completely gorgeous! Very Northanger Abbey or Mansfield Park.

10. Velvet - Em Garner

Thoughts: Love the brightness of the cover, but, tbh, I can't stop laughing about GIRL IN A BOTTLE.

11. The Shade of the Moon (The Last Survivors #4) - Susan Beth Pfeffer

Thoughts: Much as I was not impressed with the first book, these covers are pretty, and this just may be the best of the lot. I love the colors!

12. Binding (Wolf Moon Saga #2) - Carol Wolf

Thoughts: There is too much happening here, I think. Rather convenient that the author's last name matches her series title.

13. Darkness Haunts (Sensor #1) - Susan Illene

Thoughts: Is this set in the past? Her hair looks sort of 1980s. Another model for the collection of models who hate their lives.

14. Raksha - Frankie Rose

Thoughts: Her somewhat strange and the fact that her pants look poorly photoshopped aside, I actually really enjoy this. The background is interesting and she sure looks like a badass.

15. Disconnect (Divided Worlds Trilogy #1) - Imran Siddiq

Thoughts: This is not my favorite art style, but I love the title font, and I think this is really well done. Nice showing, indie cover.

16. From the Ashes - Jessica K. McKendry

Thoughts: Mostly boring, except that the ourobouros fire dragon is super cool. However, the fact that it looks like her boob is giving off light is a bit weird.

17. To Serve Is Divine - R.E. Hargrave

Thoughts: Bahahaha, what? Is she Poison Ivy or something? I'm sick of the crazy effects on the eyes, which I will keep saying until it stops. I'm also curious if freckles ever actually look just like that.

18. January Black - Wendy S. Russo

Thoughts: Oh hey, fantasy bird! I was afraid you might not stop by today, but here you are.

19. Steelheart (Steelheart #1) - Brandon Sanderson

Thoughts: Very reminiscent of the hardcover for The Hunt. I like it, and it definitely makes me curious about the story's content.

20. Death, Dickinson, and the Demented Life of Frenchie Garcia - Jenny Torres Sanchez

Thoughts: So cute! I love illustrated font covers, and I like how sassy the author treatment is!

21. Never Forget (Memories #1) - Emma Hart

Thoughts: There's a really big space between the author's first and last names. I also keep thinking that she's an alien or something, because she has pink scales by her hairline, but it's the leaves on the font. O_O

22. Truly, Madly, Deadly - Hannah Jayne

Thoughts: Intriguing. Fairly simple, and I like it. What's she carrying? I would really like to know, but I couldn't find any larger images. *squints* A lantern? That's odd. Is this in the past? Do people still have lanterns? Oh lord, I know you're all going to comment and tell me "Duh, it's a THIS thing obviously," as always happens. Oh well.

23. Allure - Melissa Andrea

Thoughts: Guys, I don't think you quite understand how shotgunning works. And, girl there's a firefly in your hair. Dude, her hair's trying to kill you. Is she Medusa?

24. Thread Silvers (The Golden Threads Trilogy #1) - Leeland Artra

Thoughts: "Hello? Is that World? This is Dagger!"

25. Recalled (Death Escorts #1) - Cambria Hebert

Thoughts: I don't blame them for wanting to be awesome like the Everneath cover, but you can't beat that. Still, despite the obvious imitation, a good self-pub.

26. Exile (Keeper of the Lost Cities #2) - Shannon Messenger

Thoughts: Now this, right here, is why placement of words is really important. Once you see "Sexile" on this cover, try to unsee it. However, young me is freaking flipping out over the pegacorn/unisus!

27. Bang (Visions #2) - Lisa McMann

Thoughts: These covers are so pretty, despite being yet another eye cover. This one's also super creepy, because the eye is obviously made of plastic or something and has been shot with a bullet. Am I the only one who finds the hair a bit startling?

28. Elysian Fields (Sentinels of New Orleans #3) - Suzanne Johnson

Thoughts: I liked this best of the series, I think! Her crazy hair is a bit over the top, but I like her witch fire and practical ass-kicking outfit. Not sure what's behind her, but it looks interesting.

29. Mistwalker - Saundra Mitchell

Thoughts: Is she wearing tights as pants? I hope not. I think I would like this cover a lot more without the girl. Usually, I don't read the blurbs, but this one jumped out at me. Check out the first sentence: "When Willa Dixon’s brother dies on the family lobster boat, her father forbids Willa from stepping foot on the deck again." LOBSTER BOAT!

30. Caught Up in Us - Lauren Blakely

Thoughts: Is that Pepe again? It looks like his icky hair. Also, anytime I see a model put their hand on the face of the other model, I think of the Friends episode about how, in kiss scenes, you should put your hands on the other person's face so the attention is on you.

31. Winter Queen (Fairy Queens #1) - Amber Argyle

Thoughts: The faeries are super creepy, and there's a lot of WTF and annoying wings happening here, but, honestly, this is so pretty. It's like the grown-up version of Lisa Frank.

32. The Dark Between - Sonia Gensler

Thoughts: I'm not sold on that font, but those pictures are CREEPY. Color me intrigued.

33. Assassin's Gambit (Hearts and Thrones #1) - Amy Raby

Thoughts: WANT. This cover is gorgeous. That dress. I must have it. I super love that it seems like she just sliced a slit in it with that knife. The castle in the back looks like the one at Disney, which is a bit distracting. The real fail here is the tag line, which pretty much sums up the plot of every paranormal romance. Good job.

34. Imminent Danger - Michelle Proulx

Thoughts: Cover = boring. Title = hilarious.

35. Third Lie's the Charm (The Liar Society #3) - Lisa & Laura Roecker

Thoughts: That is some hair. She looks like she's auditioning to play young Sidney Bristow in an Alias prequel.

36. Undone (Unraveling #1.5) - Elizabeth Norris

Thoughts: Ugh, that tag line. BARF. Harper, do better with your ebook covers. I tell you this every week, and someday it might catch on.

37. The Forgotten Ones - Laura Howard

Thoughts: Is she dead? She looks dead. In a bower of tiny yellow flowers. Combined with Undone, there's way too much purple happening right now.

38. The Seven Year King (The Faerie Ring #3) - Kiki Hamilton

Thoughts: Bahahaha, what is that shit? It reminds me of this completely awful cover. Worse still, this looks nothing like the other books in the series, image-wise. Add in a generic tag line, "A deadly sacrifice, a heartbreaking choice, an uncertain future..." (DUN DUN DUN), and we have a hot mess on our hands.

39. Any Duchess Will Do - Tessa Dare

Thoughts: "Prepare to fall in love." Really, Julia Quinn, that's the best you could do blurb-wise? Seriously with the unbuttoning the shirt without untucking it? Why do they do this? It looks ridiculous. The title, as do most romance titles, makes me laugh, because he doesn't want her specifically. Any duchess is cool.

40. Games of Fire - Airicka Phoenix

Thoughts: If that's the author's actual name, I feel a bit bad for her. I mean, she must have gotten in so much trouble as a child for being unable to spell her name. Are there fingers grabbing that flower by her ear? If so, CREEPY AS FUCK. Note to designer: Being able to read the title is a kind of important.

41. Jordyn (Daemon Hunter #1) - Tiffany King

Thoughts:A world of ew. What girl would wear a shapeless tank top with tight skinny jeans? I feel like skinny jeans folk like fitted tops. That title font: I can't.

42. Sins of a Ruthless Rogue (Sinners Trio #2) - Anna Randol

Thoughts: Another one with his shirt tucked in and unbuttoned. It's cold enough that she needs a cloak over her long-sleeved dress and he's walking around like that? Ruthless rogue? Does that mean he kills folk? That could be interesting.

43. Rebellion (Lost City Shifters #3) - Eleri Stone

 Thoughts: Ew. Hairy chest plus absurd fire tattoo of those magicians rings equals NO.

44. Unfearing (The Unresisting #2) - Shane Morgan

Thoughts: So apparently nothing has been learned about complementary colors or putting red font on a reddish background. Wonderful.

Cover Battles:

1. Fire in Her Eyes (Summer Love #1) - Amanda Heath

Facade vs. Fight with Me vs. Fire in Her Eyes: This stock cover is dominating the self-pub cover world. It's been on one every two weeks. Apparently, for some reason, this image demands a book whose title starts with F. Odd. Winner: Nyrae Dawn for keeping it simple.

2. Evie's Knight - Kimberly Krey

Original vs. Redesign: Not a big fan of either, but the hot pink really ruins the eerie mood of the original. Winner: Original.

3. The Symptoms of My Insanity - Mindy Raf

Take 1 vs. Take 2: You know what originally got me to add this book to my to-read list? The super original, hilarious cover. Penguin, why did you do this? Is the new one bad? No. However, it pales (literally and figuritavely) to the first cover released. Winner: Take 1, because...LOOK AT IT.

4. Reveal (Cryptid Tales #1) - Brina Courtney 

Original vs. Redesign: Gross. So the worst part was the eyes, but they kept that effect. Fantastic. Winner: I refuse to choose.

WTF of the Week:

1. Gabrielle's Cauldron - Ann Gempel

 Thoughts: Looks like Gabrielle's reaching for her cauldron right now.

2. Marked by the Alpha - Adaline Raine

Thoughts: Alright, you might be thinking, "this doesn't look nearly as bad as that other one." However, if you look closer, you will see that this woman is JUST A TORSO. Also, you know how dogs mark things? Peeing on them. Just a thought.

Outstanding Cover of the Week(s):

Death, Dickinson, and the Demented Life of Frenchie Garcia by Jenny Torres Sanchez

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