A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Cover Snark (53): Breakfast Cereal Will Never Be the Same Again

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Dead Ends - Erin Jade Lange

Thoughts: OMG, this is hilarious. I love the cartoonishness of it.

2. One Tiny Lie (Ten Tiny Breaths #2) - K.A. Tucker

Thoughts: This is very chick lit, but definitely pretty. Not original, but I'm just happy it's not a kissy face cover. I feel I must praise every new adult cover that doesn't do that. She actually looks like a college student walking around campus in the fall.

3. Countdown - Michelle Rowen

Thoughts: Eh. I like it, but it's pretty bog standard dystopian. I am amused by her sassy red shoes though. A dystopian or post-apocalyptic is no reason to not wear hot shoes.

4. What Really Happened in Peru (The Bane Chronicles) by Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan

Thoughts: Meh. Why does he look so old? Then again, he's Magnus, so I guess he can probably look like anything. Boy needs to head to the salon, though, because those finger nails are looking nasty.

5. Tremble (Denazen #3) - Jus Accardo

Thoughts: Blue steel.

6. Werewolves Be Damned (Magic & Mayhem #1) - Stacey Kennedy

Thoughts: Sword backscratcher = bad idea bears.

7. Children of Fire - Drew Karpyshyn

Thoughts: Ahhhhh! WTF is that? It's like if the red bull from The Last Unicorn was a person. Do not like.

8. Fractured Souls (Shattered Promises #2) - Jessica Sorensen

Thoughts: What is that all over them? Is that the shattered bits of soul? Are they models in a new 3D Pollock style artwork?

9. Epiphany - Christina Jean Michaels

Thoughts: Why do so many new adult books put the title on three times? Can the 18-25 set not read without repetition? I'm going with no, since I'm still in that age range.

10. Everything Breaks - Vicki Grove

Thoughts: Cujo's about to be hit by Christine, apparently.

11. Stay - S. Mulholland

Thoughts: I sort of like it, but I do get tired of covers with women in that pose, and the font size on the tagline is much too large.

12. Pretty When She Destroys (Pretty When She Dies #3) - Rhiannon Frater

Thoughts: I am way too squeamish to look closely at this cover, y'all. I leave the snarking in your capable hands.

13. A Shard of Ice (Black Symphony Saga #1) - Alivia Anders

Thoughts: This may be variations on a common theme, but, holy crap, this is gorgeous. Very well done.

14. Love at 11 - Mari Mancusi

Thoughts: Ah, yes, 11 is business time. Any excuse to make people listen to this song.

15. Picturing Perfect (Love of My Life) - Melissa Brown

Thoughts: Nothing about this is how I picture perfect.

16. Any Other Name (The Split Worlds #2) - Emma Newman

Thoughts: Awww, this is adorable. Illustrated covers make me happy.

17. Descent (Hidden Wings Novella) - Cameo Renae

Thoughts: Oh, is that where answers lie? In figuring out what's happened up to now? How shocking!

18. The Prophecy (Divinity Stone Series #1) - Desiree DeOrto

Thoughts: So there's something inside her pushing for release? I wonder what that could be... *snorts*

19. Trophy Husband - Lauren Blakely

Thoughts: Nothing says sexy like bathroom fixtures in the background.

20. Grave Visions (Alex Craft #4) - Kalayna Price

Thoughts:"Seeing is believing . . . whether it's real or not." Uhhh, okay. Whether that makes sense or not, I guess.

21. Unravel - Calia Read

Thoughts: Not sure if the cover can match the plot or not, but I do think this is absolutely gorgeous.

22. Dead Set - Richard Kadrey

Thoughts: The different elements of this cover are not blending well: the woman and her dog in a forest, the bright green crazy font, the symbols in grey.

23. Castles on the Sand (Shattered Castles #1) - E.M. Tippetts

Thoughts: Features neither castles nor sand. Hmmmm.

24. Spy's Honor (Hearts and Thrones #2) - Amy Raby

Thoughts: These people know my weaknesses. This cover has a pretty dress with sparkles AND a horse. OMG.

25. Ghost Time - Courtney Eldridge

Thoughts: You know what would be interesting? If ghosts made your hair stand up anytime they were nearby.

26. Outcast - Adrienne Kress

Thoughts: Any moment now, they're going to take off and ride the bike in the sky like ET/Hagrid, right?

27. Gossamer Wing (Steam and Seduction #1) - Delphine Dryden

Thoughts: In my experience, steampunk covers are either badass or cheesy as all get out. One guess which side this falls on!

28. Backward Glass - David Lomax

Thoughts: Another reason to avoid mirrors.

29. Flower in the Dark - Elizabeth Paradise

Thoughts: Am I supposed to be able to read that font? Because I sure as hell can't. Well, okay, I can, but only in full view and with a lot of help from context clues. That is NOT good. Seriously, open that up to full size and see if you can read all of the words on the front and the back!

30. Neither (The Noctalis Chronicles #3) - Chelsea M. Cameron

Thoughts: Feather soul patch.

Cover Battles:

1. The Iron King Graphic Novel - Julie Kagawa

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Okay, so, just fyi, neither of these was released as a final cover, but they've been shown as examples, so I think they're worth taking a look at, mostly because of how hysterical they are. What is it with these graphic novel adaptations of YA novels? I LOVE manga, and there are so many talented artists, but all the YA ones end up covered in shiny lights and with everyone looking seriously demented. Let's step it up.

2. Sure Signs of Crazy - Karen Harrington

Take 1 vs. Take 2: I actually like both of these, and I'm not sure that I have a strong preference one way or the other. I suspect the bright orange will stand out better on the shelf, though, and I do love the way the light green font works with it.

3. Bloodlines (Bloodlines #1) - Richelle Mead

US vs. UK: Richelle Mead's US covers are almost all unfortunate imo. Sadly, I'm not liking the UK version much better, but I suppose I prefer it for not just being faces.

4. The Fall of Five (I Am Number Four) - Pittacus Lore

UK vs. US: Even though the US version looks like a cheap ripoff of the covers for S.A. Bodeen's The Compound series, anything is better than bees. ANYTHING. *scrolls away*

5. Delicate (Grounding Quinn #0.5) - Steph Campbell

Original vs. Redesign: These are both interesting takes on the title, I think, but the redesign is so much better. The colors and title treatment fit perfectly, and she does look small and delicate. A t the same time, she doesn't necessarily look completely defeated, as the girl grabbing her knees appears to be. There's a bit of strength implied by that straight back.

6. Grounding Quinn (Grounding Quinn #1) - Steph Campbell

Original vs. Redesign: I really love that shade of green on the new cover. It's so pretty! I'm not really sure what's going on with her posing, though. Is it implying that the book is about pregnancy? I do like the sort of freewheeling feeling to the other, which reminds me a bit of the Cranberry Queen cover. Redesign wins for me by far, though.

7. Nocturnal (The Nocatalis Chronicles #1) - Chelsea M. Cameron

Original vs. Redesign: Despite the fact that it looks a bit like she just picked her nose, the redesign is worlds better. I mean, what is that pinky-purple thing? Is it supposed to be a flower? *tilts head*

8. Nightmare (The Noctalis Chronicles #2) - Chelsea M. Cameron

Original vs. Redesign: Hands on covers bore me and the one random feather is not ameliorating that, however I still think it's better than the random purple-pink thing.

9. The Kissing Booth - Beth Reekles

The Trouble with Flirting vs. The Kissing Booth: Now, I do know these aren't identical stock photos, but they're obviously from the same set. Plus, they both have the author's name in blue (though in different locations and LaZebnik's is a blue background, but still) and the title in bright pink. Holy twinsies, Batman! I like the use of it better all around in LaZebnik's, and, almost no matter how bad the first was, I think it's seriously lazy to use a stock image for a book that was purchased as part of a three book deal. Random House can do better than this.

WTF of the Week:

1. The Sirens (The Midnight Eye Files #2) - William Meikle

Thoughts: The downside of Axe body spray.

2. Lucky's Charms

Thoughts: Check out his facial expression.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Dead Ends by Erin Jade Lange

Learn More or Preorder:

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Labels: Cover Snark

56 Comments:

Ashley said...: The amount of times I snorted in my cubical today. Bravo. Bravo.; April 18, 2013 at 5:37 PM
Unknown said...: Thanks for the afternoon laugh.
4. His nasty fingernails was my first thought too. lol
10. LOL Serious, why is that dog in the middle of the road and why does he have to have creepy red eyes??
12. Very creepy and definitely the best cover of the series but... ugh. Why's she gotta rub her bloody hands all through her hair?
13. I JUST saw this cover and holy crap. <3
14. Okay so my guess is this isn't a reference to 11 year olds falling in love and I'm completely missing the point.
16. I LOVE this... reminds me a lot of The Assassin's Curse.
21. This is a fantastic cover. That summary has me totally confused though.
24. They should have put a UNICORN in the background. lol Still, very pretty.
26. Nailed it. These is totally reminescent of Hagrid and ET.
30. What is on her face?! LOL

There are no words for those 2 WTF covers.; April 18, 2013 at 5:47 PM
GillyB said...: 1. Love the Dead Ends cover. It was a lot of wit, which is refreshing.

5. SUCH SERIOUS BLUE STEEL. And a YA boy with blue eyes and black hair! What a shocker.

6. A SWORD BACKSCRATCHER I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE

7. OMG the red bull from The Last Unicorn was the scariest thing in my childhood and now I can't look at this omg scrolling away

10. CUJO'S ABOUT TO BE HIT BY CHRISTINE. I love you.

13. Re: A Shard of Ice, I actually have a cover compilation of masks comming up, because they're so common, but this is probably the prettiest of the bunch. I LOVE.

14. Love at 11 doesn't make me thing of love at 11 o' clock. It makes me thing of love at the AGE of 11, and put that against a photo of a grown ass woman and I am SKEEVED OUT.

16. LOVE IT.

20. So tired of improbably sexy girls with knives and windblown hair. Also that tagline. WTF.

3. I hate ALL the Bloodlines covers. The faces are so awkward.

7. Nocturnal. Girlfriend is totally digging for gold.

WTFs

Lucky's Charms. I have no words. I am certainly NOT after that man's lucky charms. It's no FAIRIE'S, MOTHERFUCKERS!! but it's pretty bad.; April 18, 2013 at 5:49 PM
Christina said...: I measure success in cubicle snorts.; April 18, 2013 at 5:55 PM
Steena said...: 5. Tremble: "Hey girl, you know I make you...tremble." Ba-dum-tish!

9. Epiphany: The repetitive title is a thing and it is annoying. I like that this cover is using the raspberry/merlot red - rather than the ever popular cherry. I think it stands out. And though the title font is boring I like that it matches her lipstick.

11. Stay: If I can tell at a glance what font you used? No bueno. Hello, Monotype Corsiva, which can be found standard on any Microsoft document program.

12. Pretty When She Destroys: I had a hard time reading "destroys;" I thought it started with a 'P.'

15. Picturing Perfect: This is totes true to life. Now that I'm almost 7 months pregnant, I regularly go out into the woods and sit at the base of a tree, just pondering. It's a thing. (P.S. It's not a thing.)

17. Descent: They're vampires, right? And their vampire hissing at one another? Can you imagine how awkward that photo shoot was?

21. Unravel: Le gorgeous. Except for the tagline. Though yes, yes, I would. Namely, that song would be "Please Read the Letter That I Wrote."; April 18, 2013 at 5:59 PM
Christina said...: You are welcome.

4. Seriously, SO gross!

10. I KNOW, RIGHT?

12. I still refuse to look at it. I will weep or barf or both.

13. Completely gorgeous. And it's a small press too. Classin' up the joint.

14. Hahaha, my guess is a new adult where a nightly news reporter falls in love.

16. I see that.

21. I do not read summaries, because I am lazy and they sometimes have spoilers.

24. Right. I thought for a moment it might BE a unicorn, but alas just a very pointy ear.

26. :)

30. FEATHER.; April 18, 2013 at 5:59 PM
Christina said...: 1. True. Interesting since the book sounds quite dark, but I like how unique it is.

5. I love that the pose is EXACTLY identical.

6. Victory!

7. Bahahaha, so terrifying. I freaking loved that movie. Now I am more scared of the tree that comes to life with huge old lady bosoms, but that is something else.

10. I accept your love. Thank goodness people get my references.

13. Seriously, a lot of them look really lame, but that mask is awesome, and everything is crisp and well-blended. *applauds*

14. Ha, ew. That's what the other commenter got too. I went straight to news programs.

16. Me too.

20. For real. I like badass chicks, but let's mix it up a little!

3. That's why I went with UK. They get worse as they go along.

7. Thought so.

Faeries Motherfuckers doesn't come along every week.; April 18, 2013 at 6:04 PM
Ashleigh Paige said...: 1. That is pretty funny! Thumbs up to the people who worked on that cover. They did a good job.

2. A NA novel with no one trying to make out? Bullshit. But it's apparently true! I kind of like it, but it wouldn't catch my eye in a store.

3. I really dislike this one. Feels very amateur and there's too much ugly yellow-orange. One of Harlequin Teen's rare mistakes in cover design.

5. The girl in the background looks like she's either about to go "Oh, no you DIDN'T" or just did.

7. Oooh, creepy. I like it!

8. I'm flipping this one off on principle because I really hate the author right now. Rewriting her Fallen Star YA series as the Shattered Souls NA series is still BULLSHIT.

12. Whoever she just killed gave her a raging headache.

13. I agree! Pretty pretty. :D

14. I'm such a news junkie that my brain went to "news at 11".

16. I KNEW I recognized an Angry Robot/Strange Chemistry cover!

19. I'd love this cover if it were a urinal in the background and not a sink(?), but that would mean it wasn't taking itself seriously and it was okay with being giggled at. No cover is like that. :(

21. Very pretty! It reminds me of some photos I took in North Carolina when it snowed and water droplets were frozen on the branches.

24. I will FIGHT you for that dress. You can have the horse.

26. No complaint about the wings? Shocking! :P

1. I kind of like them, but the expressions on the second one are really off. And maybe Puck's and Meghan's on the first one too. Methinks they like anime sparkles--and mealsothinks I'm not as bothered by them because I like sparkles.

9. Eh, it's Random House. They picked up 50 Shades and some other Twilight fanfic. I no longer have expectations with them.

2. He's hoping he's lucky enough to a) not conk his head and b) not have his junk fall out of his boxers.; April 18, 2013 at 6:05 PM
Christina said...: 5. Very original, he is not.

9. I wouldn't have put this one in here at all, but I wanted to complain about the triple title. I've seen that on at least five NA books, and usually in shades of red. What the heck?

11. Bahahahaha. Yeah, that's lame.

12. Oh, you're right. I carefully looked (while avoiding the top half, and I agree.

15. I know I would want to sit in the woods massively pregnant, especially since it will probably be REALLY difficult to stand up.

17. I thought their expressions were weird, but I couldn't figure out what was happening. Thank you for explaining. They're hissing angel vampires. Of course.

21. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OMG. I had forgotten about that.; April 18, 2013 at 6:10 PM
Christina said...: 1. I am very impressed. It won for originality.

2. Yeah, it's lovely, but very generic. I'm sure I could find ten other covers like this one without too much difficulty.

3. Hmm, I'm not often a huge fan of the Harlequin covers, but eh. I think this one's okay for what it is.

5. Definitely just did.

8. I now think of you and your rage whenever I see her name. Haha.

12. Hahaha.

13. So far, everyone approves. This deserves a badge of honor.

14. That's what I thought too, but I wanted to link to business time.

16. You did!

19. BAHAHAHA. Yeah, that would be great. It feels more like they forgot to remove the sink.

21. Sounds purty!

24. Works for me. There are other dresses.

26. I don't like to comment on too many things if I have a one-liner available. Cut and run, I say! I do think they're lame though.

1. Really? Well, okay then.

9. *sighs*

2. And all the blood is rushing to his head.; April 18, 2013 at 6:16 PM
Kayla Beck said...: 3. I likey.

4. *snores*

5-6. Bahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

7. It's the Krampus! That's who I threaten my daughter with at Christmas time!

13. This gives me the heebie jeebies for some reason. Maybe because the mask is spiderish?

15. I am well into adulthood, so that would be perfect for me. I want All The Babies! *bursts into hormones*

16. It is exactly like this.

24. I bought the first one for being pretty. I do not love this one. I'll have to love the story because it's not going on my shelf as candy alone.

26. I was thinking Hagrid, too. Maybe he had a ladyfriend in his early twenties?

CB3. I hate faces on novels in most cases. I don't like Ed Hardy covers either. Bloodlines covers are nothing but fail.

WTF2. I love how his blood is rushing to his head. I also love that my name is nowhere on that cover.; April 18, 2013 at 6:21 PM
Kayla Beck said...: And someone already called #16. This is what I get for keeping the browser open too long. :-); April 18, 2013 at 6:22 PM
Rhiannon Frater said...: 12. *evil grin*; April 18, 2013 at 6:22 PM
Sara @ Forever 17 Books said...: 3. Reminds me a lot of the Article #5 cover, except the colors.
12. It's called Pretty When She Destroys yet I don't find that pretty at all.
13. Me likey!

And I pretty much agree with everything else you said! Those WTFs of the week... ummm, no. And there sure are a lot of lucky charms.; April 18, 2013 at 6:32 PM
Christina said...: 7. Oh, really? Someone at Little Shop of Stories was telling me about that!

13. But I LOVE the mask. It is vaguely creepy, but in a gorgeous way.

15. Bleh. I hope never to ever be pregnant or have babies. I am not wired for motherhood.

24. I can't believe you buy them just for the covers, though I suppose I should the way I buy them and leave them there for years.

26. Well, that would be Sirius, since Hagrid borrowed it. ;)

3. Pretty much. Cover designers hate Richelle Mead, I'm convinced.

2. Yup. Hilarious. BAHAHA, why would it be?; April 18, 2013 at 6:33 PM
Christina said...: You win this round! *shakes fist*

:-p; April 18, 2013 at 6:34 PM
Christina said...: 3. Yeah, it's like that one + the original Hunt cover.

12. Ironic that.

Hahahaha.; April 18, 2013 at 6:35 PM
Kayla Beck said...: 7. Oh yes, my daughter is the best child you can imagine from Thanksgiving onward. She's afraid that he'll jump out of the bushes or something. *shrugs* He leaves her the best presents though - CLOTHES! (The fact that he's in her house also creeps her out and makes her want to be good.) She is so going to punch me in the face once she learns the truth. :-D

15. Apparently I'm not wired for gestating. My frame is too small for anything more than four pounds. I fully intend to subject myself to it again as soon as Mister agrees to my reproduction demands.

24. They are all pretty little worlds that I like to have on hand when I want to go visiting. I'm still stupid/hopeful enough to believe that one day pretty covers will always mean awesome books.

26. Shhhhhh! I want Hagrid to have a PAST. :-D

3. That or they love Rose from Doctor Who. I'd probably put her teenaged twin on every cover ever too.

2. I'm just saying. If I ever wrote a short story or book or whatever and that was the cover, I'd demand a release from my contract and quit forever.; April 18, 2013 at 6:45 PM
Renae @ Respiring Thoughts said...: 1. FAVORITE.

5. I've heard these books are actually pretty good, but the covers!! I seriously can't. I HATE covers like this.

13. Me likey also.

15. Dude, because I know that if I was pregnant, I'd like to take a barefoot hike in the woods and plop down by a tree and get bark up my butt, also while beseeching the heavens that I can a) stand back up again and b) not have my bladder explode because, hey, I'm PREGGO. Derrr.

16. I love this cover, BUT this series looks seriously similar to The Assassin's Curse books. And aren't they from the same pub? Failure.

17. *squinty eyes at author who stole my name* LAME. I wear Renae much better than Ms. Cameo. Just saying.

27. Why are there so many steampunk covers with the Eiffel Tower in the background? Très lame.

30. Duuuude. It looks like one of her eyebrows got bored of life on the forehead and crawled down to greener pastures.; April 18, 2013 at 6:56 PM
Amy said...: Okay, I have my wine and I'm ready to start commenting lol!!

1. I kind of love that cover. I think the book sounds good too.

2. I am a sucker for fall like covers so I really like this one. It's so pretty and I love the falling leaves.

3. I have to say, if they are trying to escape something, her red shoes and his white shirt kind of stand out. Not very stealthy looking.

5. Dude!! He totally looks like Max from Wizards of Waverly Place. *cough* My daughter loved that show... she totally watched it all the time.

6. His muscles look really unnatural. Like, they are down too close to his elbows or something.

7. OMG The Last Unicorn!! I love that movie so it's awesome you mentioned it. And I agree.

8. Ummmm, is that his thumb on her nipple? That's a bit much for a NA cover isn't it?

9. At least it's not a black and white kissy cover right? Lol!!

12. TOTALLY FREAKING EPIC!! OMG I love that cover. Her eyes!!!! AHHHH!!!

13. Gorgeous cover!!

15. When I was that preggo, there is no way I would have sat on the ground against a tree. There would be no way I could get back up.

16. I like the cover, but the font title is hard to read.

18. Hahaha!! Awesome tagline!!! I like her eye makeup though, it's very dramatic.

21. What a pretty cover.

23. Why is her skirt fuzzy? Is she wearing cotton balls?

27. They look like they bought cheesy costumes from the Halloween store.

30. Is that a beard or are you part bird? Lol!!

Cover Battles

1. I don't care for either of those really.

2. I think the second one is so bright and fun!!

5. The new one is very pretty. I liked the original too, but the new one a bit more.

6. I like the new one too.

WTF of the Week

1. Why is he in the water in a suit? He deserves to get grabbed at by sea creatures!!

2. Is he supposed to be a pole dancing leprechaun? Irish luck? Hopefully he's lucky enough to not fall off that pole.

Outstanding Cover of the Week

I totally agree!! I think that cover is awesome!!; April 18, 2013 at 8:02 PM
April (BooksandWine) said...: Oh fuck me. I clicked to vote and it deleted my comment. Boo.; April 18, 2013 at 8:30 PM
April (BooksandWine) said...: Because i am too lazy to retype my comment:

LOL lucky charms.

The one cover Split Worlds remind me of that Aristotle And Dante book.

And I like the ET cover.

and pretend I wrote more stuff here.; April 18, 2013 at 8:32 PM
Deidra Monson said...: Thank you for that fabulous dose of snark. It totally made my day!; April 18, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Giselle said...: *Looks at post title* ... This should be good!

Cassandra Clare needs to fall in a pit.

5. Bahaha while I loved Touch and Jus is awesome, the covers are getting VERY cheesy. WTF?

6. OMG WHAT IS THIS? A BLOODY INDIAN (literally)

9. I've noticed a trend in the repeted/shadowed titles like that since Hopeless by Colleen Something.

10. Cujo!! *dies*

11. I really like the color of this one! Dark but pretteh!

12. That is badass and you love it! *pushes cover in your face for you to lick*

16. Ok this one looks exactly like another that just came out but I can't remember the name so why am I even telling you?

18. *looks at tagline* Says the constipated person

20. Hello hallucinations? She's obviously just done mushrooms.

21. Wowza I love this!! <3

22. The green moves when I scroll the page! IT WANTS TO EAT ME!

23. Bahaha-fail!

27. LOL I think he likes it!

29. ok I did click to see the large cover and I can't read that shit at all it looks like Mic Mac (or what I think Mic Mac should look like)!

WTF 1) Dude he's totally turned on by these hands!!

WTF 2) Ah the cereal... a good cereal ruined forever!!!; April 18, 2013 at 9:31 PM
MJ said...: Glad I'm not the only one who thinks that graphic novel adaptions of YA are always a bit "off" so to speak. The Iron King doesn't seem as messed up as some of them though. The Blue Bloods one I don' t know what they were thinking poor Schuyler's eyebrows are in need of a major tweezing and while I like the artwork in the Vampire Academy adaption enough, Dimitri sort of looks like Tommy (the original green ranger) from Power Rangers.

Great post as always. Made an otherwise sucky day enjoyable.; April 18, 2013 at 9:34 PM
Angie said...: 1. I love this cover! It's definitely unique!

2. Agreed! While I don't love it, I'm just glad it's not the gorgeous people breathing on each other's faces.

5. That's totally Magnum. :P

8. Hmm. I think I like it. He's totally caressing her boob which makes this better than the NA kissy faces.

13. I hate face covers, but I do think that mask is gorgeous, and it keeps me from hating it.

15. Baby bumps gross me out.

24. I wish it was acceptable to dress like that in everyday life. *sigh*

Cover Battles

3. Why does Richelle Mead always have terrible covers! I do not get it!

5. I like the colors of the original better, but I vote for the redesign because there's no feet.

6. This books is not about pregnancy! I really liked it, but prefer the original cover.

9. I like The Trouble With Flirting better too.

WTF

2. No...just no.

Angie @ Pinkindle Reads & Reviews; April 18, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Anonymous said...: 1. Love the cover for this one, too! At first I thought the guy below was missing a head. I mean, it would totally fit with the title, right?

2. Cliche, but I like it, too. The cover for the first book in that series is also pretty good.

3. All dystopians nowadays seem to revolve around some game. -_-

9. IKR. That trend is really annoying me. It's not like we can't READ what the word's saying. Geez.

13. Looks stunning!

18. LOL!

21. Wow, this one's beautiful. I love the simplicity of it. I mean, I know a lot of adult novels now have "simple" covers with handcuffs or whatever BDSM tool (thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey, ugh), but this one's so much better.

28. This one actually looks pretty good, though the mirror on the left is not really photshopped well.

30. That feather's position is awkward.

- Cover Battles -

1. Eek! Looks so good! Prefer the first one, though. I think the second one would be a bit cliche standing next to other YA novels, even though it's illustrated.

3. Hey, I kinda like the U.K. one. It's simple but grabs your attention. But then again, I like illustrated covers, so...

4. Both of these look REALLY good. I'm so excited! (Ha, beeesssss! CHRISTINA, BEEEESSS! *makes loud buzzing sound*)

7. & 8. This author seems to like these weird purple blob-flower thingies. Or maybe she just likes the color purple. (No. #30)

9. None of these are nice.

- WTF of the Week -

2. I agree with Angie: No. Just. No. *winces*; April 19, 2013 at 1:37 AM
Read Write Reviews said...: 1. That's one cool cover! Very original too!
2. Really love the colours of this.
13. This is so damn gorgeous! I want to stroke the cover!
16. This is cute and I love that it features Tower Bridge. It also fits the first cover really well.
19. The contrast on this cover is horrifying!
21. Love this simple cover and it's beauty!
27. *Snickers*; April 19, 2013 at 6:32 AM
Christina said...: 7. Hahahaha, parenting for the win!

15. O_O *shudders* I just do not feel those urges.

24. That would be amazing. If only publishers would agree to that.

26. Hahaha, um, maybe he also borrowed it to take out semi-giant ladies.

3. UGH. I hate Rose.

2. Good plan.; April 19, 2013 at 9:04 AM
Christina said...: 1. We agree on something! *is shocked*

5. Yeah, the covers for this series make me hesitant to try the books.

15. Bahahahaha, that's what my pregnant friend said.

16. I think they are. And, I think both of the first books were orangey.

17. Yes you do, sweetie. *pats*

27. Quel dommage.

30. Or her fake eye lashes fell off.; April 19, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Christina said...: Nice! Commenting in style!

1. I'm not sure if it's a book I would enjoy, but I'll definitely be watching for reviews, because COVER.

2. I think it's pretty too, and I liked the first book, even if I maybe shouldn't have.

3. Very good point.

5. Is that the brother? Because, if so, I don't see it. I may have watched the first season on my own. >_>

6. I don't know enough about muscles to say. Any muscles that big look stupid to me.

7. That movie is made of win and scares the bejeezus out of anyone who didn't see it as a child.

8. Oh, it is. Getting fresh.

9. True.

15. That's what I was thinking.

23. BAHAHAHAHAHA. I thought it was a fleece blanket maybe.

27. Yup. That's open one month a year. CLASSY.

2. *snorts* He's gotta be careful!; April 19, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Christina said...: Awwww, sorry about that!

I am laughing at all the things I am imagining you wrote.; April 19, 2013 at 9:15 AM
Christina said...: Glad you had fun!; April 19, 2013 at 9:15 AM
Christina said...: 4. Bahahaha.

5. I always thought they were cheesy. >.<

9. Colleen Hoover. Yeah, she's popular, so maybe they're hoping people will buy their books by mistake.

10. Haha.

12. *weeps* *seeks counseling*

16. The Assassin's Curse also by Strange Chemistry. People have been pointing that out. I fail.

18. I was thinking a dick, but I suppose a big poop works too. *dies*

22. That is disturbing.

29. What is Mic Mac?

1. Yeah, it's upsetting.

2. BOOM! Now you understand everything!; April 19, 2013 at 9:19 AM
Christina said...: Nope, they're almost all awful-looking. They're also generally a sign of milking the cash cow for all it's worth. If you want to write a graphic novel, come up with a new story. Is it that hard?; April 19, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Christina said...: 1. Yup. That's why I chose it over the other good ones this week.

8. I'd not noticed the boob grab, but Amy did. Haha.

15. ME TOO. So do babies. And everything about pregnancy and childbirth.

24. If I could wear fancy dresses ALL the time and not look weird, I would.

3. What did she do to them?

5. Creeped out by feet, eh?

6. Huh. Then what is she doing?!?!

2. :); April 19, 2013 at 9:22 AM
Christina said...: 1. It is a bit hard to see his head.

2. Agreed.

3. Pretty much. Because of The Hunger Games, you see?

9. It can look nice, but why always three?

21. Yeah, I don't like the random objects covers.

28. Not especially, no.

30. Sure is.

3. I like illustrated covers, but I'm not a big fan of that one, especially for the sorts of books Mead writes.

4. You suck.

9. That's another option.; April 19, 2013 at 9:25 AM
Christina said...: 16. I was wondering what that was. I learned a thing!; April 19, 2013 at 9:26 AM
Heather said...: 13 and 16 are so cool!

My comments are always so useful. haha.; April 19, 2013 at 11:56 AM
Tammy Sparks said...: 3. Countdown:

I'm just amused by how the boy and girl seem to be floating above the ground! Bad photoshopping? Maybe the red shoes are magical?; April 19, 2013 at 12:35 PM
Christina said...: Descendants of Hermes.; April 19, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Christina said...: ALWAYS.; April 19, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Anonymous said...: Why is that girl wearing a sari? I disliked that mostly because it probably has nothing to do with the story. I do like the first one best too.; April 19, 2013 at 3:12 PM
Christina said...: I wondered about that too. I mean, saris are gorgeous, but she wasn't in one on the first book. Definitely odd.; April 19, 2013 at 3:15 PM
Unknown said...: 1. LOVE the Lange cover. LOVE. IT. Artsy covers for the win!:)

2.This one reminds me just a bit of The Rules for Disappearing, even though that cover just shows a girl running from the legs down. Regardless I like it.

3.Looks almost exactly like that cover for Article 5.

4. MAGNUS BANE, Woo Hoo!! And with a 5 o'clock shadow! But yeah, he's got a serious case of zombie nails going on.

7. The Red Bull from The Last Unicorn, yessss..... Perfect comment!

8. Someone has a fetish for body glitter....

10. LoL

11. That reminds of one of covers of R. McKinley's Sunshine. This one: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2868646-sunshine

12. I kind of liked the Pretty When She Dies cover but the rest of the series' covers have gotten progressively suckier.

13. It is pretty but I'm hoping that is a black feather actually covering her eye as opposed to an eye that is ALL black with no discernable eyeball? Because that sort of thing creeps me out....

16. YES to illustrated covers!

17. Agreed. Invitations to get it on in the bathroom always put me in the mood...

21. YES. That is a gorgeous cover.

25. I think that cover is pretty cool. A mixture of This is Not a Test and Wild Awake.

26. Look it's Michelle Pfieffer and and that other guy-whose-name-escapes-me from Grease 2!! "I need a coooool rider, a cool, cool, cool rider..."

27. You know that cover model is pissed he is having to wear that hat.

30. Ha! The feather soul patch trend! You saw it here first!

And I saw that twin cover for The Kissing Booth/ The Trouble with Flirting the other day too. LaZebnik's is definitely the better of the two. That full shot of the guy is so NOT how I envision Harry ...

OMG, I will never be able to eat Lucky Charms cereal again without thinking of THAT. Thanks so much, Christina...;)

Great edition as always, Christina!; April 19, 2013 at 3:45 PM
Kayla Beck said...: 7. We have to get our jollies somehow in this mostly thankless job.

15. My urges really don't make much sense after #7, do they? I never wanted children either (I was always told I never could) until after Bug's sperm donor somehow knocked me up, but once that door opened...

24. Publishers are terrible and want us to believe all of their books are awesome. That is the only explanation for Twilight ever being a thing.

26. And other saucy things!

3. If I ever have another daughter, Bug wants me to name her Rose. We are scarily hardcore Doctor Who fans. :-D

2. If only more authors would do it, we wouldn't have as many as the laughably sad/bad covers.; April 19, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Jessie said...: These posts are so long and epic and perfect.

Dead Ends looks pretty hilarious, and I have to admit I am interested. I wonder if it's a roadtrip novel about two teen serial killers? I must be overthinking this. But it'd be like Jasper Dent and teen-years-Dexter go on a roadtrip. I'd read that.

One Tiny Lie really reminds me of The Rules for Disappearing. Just OTL is farther away, with leaves instead of feathers. Ok, maybe not so similar as I first thought. Moving on.

Countdown looks too generic I can't be bothered with a comparison.

Tremble's cover model's Blue Steel ain't got nothin' on Jensen Ackles' interpretation.

I confess to first reading Children of Fire as Children ON Fire. Turns out that's a small but significant mistake. It's also known as the only way that cover could look worse.

I want to go to the party that the model from A Shard of Ice is clearly on her way to. It looks like a feypunk Gatsby-type-shindig.

When I first read "Love at 11" I took it to mean an age and not a time of day. Winner. It makes more sense now, but still an awful title.

both Emma Newman's books have had great covers. This new, blue one is the best though.

Spy's Honor: I want that dress, I want that book. It looks like it might be so-bad-it's-entertaining at least.

I kind of love the cover for Outcast. Apparently, I am a sucker for blue lately.

I wanna know who Richelle Mead pissed off in her publishers art department. Those Bloodlines covers are SO BAD. So very bad.; April 19, 2013 at 6:32 PM
Jessie said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; April 19, 2013 at 6:35 PM
Shelver506 said...: 1. Woah. Checking this one out on GR right away.

5. The girl makes me snarl. I don't know why. Maybe her posture?

6. That is such a freaking fake-looking sword.

7. I almost said "KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!" but...

11. Her hair looks soft. I don't know why that's what I think first, but I do.

12. Okay, THIS ONE we should totally kill with fire. Like now.

16. This looks too much like THE ASSASSIN'S CURSE. I don't like that. TAC is on its own and should not be duplicated.

19. I don't read this genre but the title is interesting.

20. I want to give her a shawl. Her shoulders must be freezing.

22. Okay, so we have a creepy path, neon Las Vegas letters, and Egyptian hieroglyphics? What?

24. THAT DRESS! WANT!

27. What's up with his hat? Ew.

CB2. Neither of them look particularly... crazy. But the orange one is adorable.

CB4. The bees seriously make my chest feel tight. I HATE bees.

CB7. Purple thing = the inside of a tulip

WTF1. The webbed fingers are creeping me out.; April 19, 2013 at 9:39 PM
Giselle said...: Yes Assassin's Curse! It looks identical!

Also I looked it up and it's Mi'kmaq not Mic Mac, but it's a language: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mi%27kmaq_language I think it might be more commonly known about in Canada. It was in our history classes.

LOL @ big poop! Poop is way funnier than penises!; April 19, 2013 at 11:36 PM
Anonymous said...: I think #24 actually looks more like sari than a dress, although interestingly draped... it is pretty, though :D; April 20, 2013 at 1:24 AM
Anonymous said...: 5. Was your father a thief? Because he stole the blue from the sky and put it in your eyes...

9. Why three titles? Because "What I tell you three times is true" (Lewis Carroll, The Hunting of the Snark).

10. Is creepy until I scrolled down and saw the dog. Then it was lame.

13. Is pretty.

15. Perfection for you is not sitting in fields, pregnant? Talk about high standards.

18. She has purple eyes. I object.

21. So pretty. Also, the kind of photo that would get many, many repins on Pinterest.

23. I don't like that her skirt is basically the exact same colour of the water. I want more differentiation. Other than that, it's quite pretty. In a wistful sort of way.

The Trouble with Flirting vs. The Kissing Booth: I like Trouble better, for the way that the girl is looking directly at the reader. I think it makes her look less passive than her Kissing Booth doppelganger.; April 20, 2013 at 3:15 AM
Kara_Malinczak said...: Ooooooh it's time for Cover Snark! I know I am late this week (like I am every week) but I made it and it's time to PARTAY!!

1. Very cool and creative. I love it. Goes well with the first cover. Still need to read that but I've heard great things.

2. Very pretty but not special. It does not stand out enough.

3. Birds! Her legs look weird.

4. EWWW. Those nails are freaking GROSS.

5. LOL seriously with this cover? BAHAHAHA. So cheesy. He's like almost doing the Zoolander! OMG I made that comment before I saw your link. BRAIN TWINS!!

7. Yeah. Nightmares.

8. His hands are on her boobies. In other news, I'm 12.

9. To answer your question, well you know how bad the school systems are these days. :P

13. Agreed. STUNNING.

18. Her eye makeup is a bit much. What is this, the MAC counter?

21. Agreed. Subtle and eye-catching.

25. I love the simplicity but creepiness of this cover. WANT.

26. I thought the same thing when I saw this. But I want to read it! I love moons on covers.

27. Ohmygah this is SO BAD.

29. So glad you mentioned this one. And you are right. It IS hard to read. Especially the back tagline.

30. LOL. Wow that is some bad placement.

CB2. The orange might stand out more on the shelf, but I prefer the original.

CB3. I guess I have to pick the UK cover but I don't really like that either.

CB4. Nope. I prefer the bees. BRING ON the bees. :P

CB5. Again, I prefer the original. Generally I like covers better without people on them.

CB6. ORIGINAL.

CB7. Okay I finally like a redesign better. Though I do like the eyelash on the original.

CB8. Yeah, what is that random purple thing? Redesign.

WTF1. Bahahahaha. Good one.

WTF2. OMG that's precious. I laughed so hard.; April 20, 2013 at 11:48 PM
kara-karina@Nocturnal Book Reviews said...: I did like Dead Ends, Amy Raby and A Shard of Glass, Christina. Everything else is... I don't know? just meh. The Prophecy cover has a redhead, but what's up with all these recent covers where girls have tons of weird make up on? That's like for shows in Vegas not for anything in real life. Do you imagine going to work or trying to kick someone's ass with one of them on? It just looks awful to me.; April 21, 2013 at 7:17 AM
Judith said...: 1. LOVE IT. So unique.

5. HAHAHA. His face is hilarious.

7. WHAT IS THAT?! That is CREEPY.

11. This could have been pretty with better fonts.

12. PRETTY? How about freaky? I can't look at her eyes.

13. GORGEOUS. Really love it.

16. This reminds me of http://thebooksmugglers.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Aristotle-and-Dante-Discover-the-Secrets-of-the-Universe.jpg but I like it a lot!

28. This is what happens when you say "Bloody Mary" after midnight. And now I really don't want to be close to a mirror anymore.

30. It looks like she's growing a feather beard.

WTF 1. Hahahahaha your comment is hilarious!; May 4, 2013 at 7:44 AM
Tabitha (Pabkins) said...: You crack me up - reading through these slowly has been the highlight of my entire week girl. Seriously! axe body spray....ahhh my chest hurts; June 15, 2013 at 12:39 AM

A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

: Name: Christina; Location: Norcross, GA, United States

I am a librarian in my twenties. I got my MLIS at the University of Pittsburgh in 2010, and, through the vagaries of the job market, ended up working at a software company, rather than a librarian. I still very much consider myself to be a librarian, though.

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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Cover Snark (53): Breakfast Cereal Will Never Be the Same Again

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Which cover of Sure Signs of Crazy do you prefer?
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