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A Reader of Fictions: Cover Snark (56): In Which I Issue a Desperate Plea for No Bugs on Covers

A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Cover Snark (56): In Which I Issue a Desperate Plea for No Bugs on Covers

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Okay, trying a new poll system, which should let you vote without taking you to a new screen. BUT I'm not sure if I can make enough for free for them to be helpful, so we might be back to the others next week. I don't know. if you absolutely love these, weigh in, I guess!

Shiny and New:

1. Celestial Inventories - Steve Rasnic Tem
Thoughts: Oooh, this is an interesting variation on some common cover tropes (girl in the water, flames)

2. Dog Shaming - Pascale Lemire
Thoughts: Bulldogs are not ones I find especially adorable. Sad day.

3. Champion (Prodigy #3) - Marie Lu
Thoughts: *applauds* When I saw this the first time, I just stared at it for minutes in awe. The bullet hole keeps the rose from being too cheesy. Love.

4. Uninvited (Uninvited #1) - Sophie Jordan
Thoughts: Bahaha, no. It's this cover with the gene hair, which seems like a good idea, but, like, no. So not working for me.

5. Eyre House - Caitlin Greer
Thoughts: Does Rochaester have a motorcycle? Modern Rochester probably would. Though it would probably not be that shiny. It would be muddy and unclean like his soul.

6. Passionaries (Blessed #2) - Tonya Hurley
Thoughts: This is so sexual that I can't even. And what's up with the guitars? And I just, I can't. My ability to can has temporarily been suspended.

7. The Art of Love - Anne Whitney
Thoughts: Yay! NA without a kissy face. I like the font treatments. I am, however, wondering if that person is dead.

8. No Love for the Wicked (Magnolia Kelch #2) - Megan Powell
Thoughts: Pretty! Poor wicked people. We don't get rest first and now no love. Harsh.

9. Here There Be Monsters (Iron Seas #0.5) - Meljean Brook
Thoughts: That tentacle is pretty boss. Also it makes the title very accurate.

10. Pretty Little Lies - Jennifer Miller
Thoughts: The lie is that this is pretty.

11. Seeing Light (The Seraphina Parrish Trilogy #3) - Michelle Warren
Thoughts: OMG WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS NOT OKAY THERE IS A SCORPION ON YOUR SHOULDER FUCK FUCK FUCK CAN'T SEE ANYTHING ELSE SCROLLING AWAY NOW

12. Addicted to You (Addicted #1) - Krista & Becca Ritchie
Thoughts: Another non-kissy NA cover. Is the trend over? The title worries me, though. Also, the model looks too much like K-Stew for me to love this.

13. Romancing the R.A. (Campus Romance #1) - Ashelyn Drake
 
Thoughts: Nope, spoke too soon; the trend is not over. I don't usually do this, but can we talk about the blurb? She wants to romance her R.A. in the two days of freshman orientation, but it's dramatic because there's a full summer before they'll meet again? What? Did anyone's school actually do this? Make the freshman travel (what could be a huge distance) for a two day orientation and then send them back home for months? That makes no sense at all. My college's orientation was the week before school started for everyone else. Also, this is essentially the plot of season one of Felicity, only minus the orientation weirdness.

14. The Longest Ride - Nicholas Sparks
Thoughts: OMG, you guys. They made like a billion people tweet to reveal this cover. Like, WHY? Nicholas Sparks' covers are so fucking boring and all look the same, and, if anything, this one's worse than most. How fake does everything look? SO FAKE. With all the money they're raking in with the same book over and over, you'd think they could buy better covers.

15. Geoducks Are for Lovers - Daisy Prescott
Thoughts: First question: wtf is a geoduck? Google survey says: a clam! Huh. What a weird name for a clam. Scientists are weird. Also, I wonder if they are an aphrodisiac and that is why they are for lovers. Rambling aside, this covers kind of adorable.

16. Sleeper (Toy Soldiers #1) - S.M. Johnston
Thoughts: Do I spy a POC? That's awesome! Though I don't know why she's fractured. I'm of two minds about whether I like this. The font could be better I think.

17. Project: Boy Next Door - L.K. Madigan
Thoughts: Why does that car look so fake? It looks like he was pasted into a video game background.

18. The Ghost to New Orleans (The Shambling Guide #2) - Mur Lafferty
Thoughts: I guess I don't mind if the dead come to life if, rather than eating my brains, they play me music.

19. Blind Attraction (Reckless Beat #1) - Eden Summers
Thoughts: Here's what goes through my brain when I see this: "Or we can do it on stage of the Ludacris concert / Cause you know I got sold out"

20. Losing Francesca - J. A. Huss
Thoughts: Maybe they wouldn't lose Francesca so easily if they hadn't ripped her into tiny pieces. Small things are easier to misplace than big ones!

21. Friday Night Alibi - Cassie Mae
Thoughts: Police officer: So, ma'am, where were you Friday night? Blondie McSwimsuit: At the salon getting my hair did. Police officer: Gurrrrrrrl, don't you lie to me.

22. Less Than a Gentleman - Kerrelyn Sparks
Thoughts: Really? He looks entirely honorable to me. Gentleman always go about with their shirts unbuttoned and smirking.

23. Songs of Willow Frost - Jamie Ford
Thoughts: Oooh, I like it. There's a strangely voyeuristic feel to it, though.

24. The Son of Sobek (Kane Chronicles) - Rick Riordan
Thoughts: *tries to find fucks to give* *fails*

25. Hereafter (Shadowlands #2) - Kate Brian
Thoughts: Love this...except for the models. The font and sky is gorgeous, however!

26. Black Heart (Black Wings #6) - Christina Henry
Thoughts: Oh man, I love how active she is in this cover. Generally, even when the women look badass, they look very still, but she looks like she's about to bodycheck the person taking her photo. Fantastic. That tagline's still lame though.

27. Help for the Haunted - John Searles
Thoughts: Is that how haunted people run?

28. Obsession - Jennifer L. Armentrout
Thoughts: What the eff is that shrubbery or whatever growing out of their crotch/butt region?

29. Night Pilgrims (Saint-Germain #26) - Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
Thoughts: *stretches* Also, 26 books? Holy fuck, that's a lot.

30. Revelations (Bloodlines #3) - Lindsay Anne Kendal
Thought: She's got a lot of bling. And fake eyes. And some unfortunate looking font.

31. Cold Snap (Lucy Kincaid #7) - Allison Brennan
Thoughts: She looks like Nicole Kidman, amirite?

32. Watch Over Me - Tara Sivec
Thoughts: This is well done, I think, but I totally thought the title was Watch + Over Me at first. That cross placement is confusing. Also, no, tagline, no.

33. Anomaly (Causal Enchantment #4) by K.A. Tucker
Thoughts: I actually sort of almost like those fake eyes. Talk me down, guys!

34. Deuce (The Vortex Series, #3) by Janine Caldwell
Thoughts: What the deuce? I am impressed that they managed to resist the urge to put the title on their twice. Instead, it's there thrice.

35. Come What May (Heartbeat #2) - Faith Sullivan
Thoughts: Okay, covers like this always freak me out. When one person is staring directly at the camera from the bottom, and the other is sexing them up, I always feel like the bottom one is dead or drugged. Even if they're not, why are they staring at the camera if the sex is so good? On the other hand, Ewan McGregor is serenading me in my mind right now, so, you know, that's nice.

36. Luck of Love - Ashley Poch & Tiffany Aleman
Thoughts: Even less sexy than the one person out of the moment is when both of them are looking at the camera instead of enjoying the sex. Also, he's about to bite her face.

37. Friday Never Leaving - Vikki Wakefield
 Thoughts: Holy shit, this is creepy.

Cover Battles:

1. Stung (Stung #1) – Bethany Wiggins
 
US vs. UK: OMG, more bugs, why? *shudders* My Pick: UK obviously looks better. Though maybe that's just because it's only one of my fears.

2. Infinite Sky - C. J. Flood
Harsback vs. Paperback: I do like the shiny font on the paperback, but I don't think it fits with the background, so I'm going illustrated on this one. My Pick: hardback



3. Lord Loss (The Renata #1) - Darren Shan
US vs. UK vs. New UK: Okay, I'm starting to think that the UK makes the scariest covers, because Ahhhh. The original UK one is like something from my nightmares after watching The Neverending Story. The US one looks like a Lish McBride cover. My Pick: I have to go US, because I could not have the others on my shelves.


4. Demon Thief (The Demonata #2) - Darren Shan
US vs. UK vs. New UK: I think it's funny that someone/something lifting their hands up is apparently intrinsic to this book. My Pick: US again.


5. Seventeen & Gone - Nova Ren Suma
US vs. Australia: Oooh, I love both of these. My Pick: US for being more original and creepy, with that abandoned mental ward feel.


6. Anathema (Causal Enchantment #1) - K.A. Tucker
Original vs. Redesign: Bahahha, girl in a flower. I really like the redesign. Is she actually sweating or something? How often do we see a cover model who's not perfectly put together? That's fantastic. My Pick: Redesign


7. Asylum (Causal Enchantment #2) by K.A. Tucker
Original vs. Redesign: Ah, man. Now the cover models are all put together again. I do like the cityscape title portion of these though. Also, wtf is happening in the original? My Pick: Redesign


8. Allegiance (Causal Enchantment #3) by K.A. Tucker
Original vs. Redesign: Oh, joy. A boy has joined her. Looked at in a larger view and read the tagline. Wish I hadn't. LAME. My Pick: Redesign.

WTF of the Week:

Didn't find anything particularly outstandingly awful/hilarious this week, only variations on terrible cover tropes. Instead, I'm going to link you guys to Maureen Johnson's Cover Flip, which highlights the WTF-ery that is gendered covers. Click the cover below (one of my personal favorites) to go to Huffington Post for a roundup of them! 


Outstanding Cover of the Week:
Champion by Marie Lu

Learn More or Preorder:

Goodreads|Amazon|Barnes & Noble|The Book Depository

Labels:

46 Comments:

Blogger Kimberly @ On the Wings of Books said...

3. I was disappointed when I saw this, not really sure what I expected, but this wasn't it. It's my far my least favorite of the three.

4. Ok I see where they are going with the hair, but I just want to fix it and make it normal. It really bothers me.

6. I find this really creepy and disturbing.

7. I would kind of like it if he was dead and there was some kind of mystery involved rather than the standard NA contemporary.

10. She looks very uncomfortable standing like that.

11. I knew I was going to encounter problems given the title of your post but ewwww.

12. I had an orientation in April or May for college. It was over the weekend, but it was all about the school and classes. Nothing to do with meeting your RA or roommates or anything like that.

13. This was the cover? Really? Yawn, just like the rest of his covers.

25. I like this, but it doesn't have quite the same level of creepiness that Shadowlands did.

33. No. Those fake eyes are not good! They are creepy and almost cat like!

36. She looks a little to pissed off for someone who is supposed to be making out. Perhaps its because the camera man was like "Hey! Over here!" and she couldn't enjoy the making out.

37. I can't. Worse then the scorpion.

CB2. The US one is so much more pretty.

CB3. No offense to the UK but I find a lot of their book covers to be very strange.

CB7 & CB8. I can't even tell wtf is going on in the original ones.

May 9, 2013 at 8:33 AM  
Blogger Jaz said...

1. I swear that's a bed sheet Christina!
3. WOAH. JUST WOAH. The rose with the flames and the bullet hole and blood. I LOVE I LOVE
6. I was gonna say it looked nice. BUT THEN I SAW YOUR COMMENT. I CANNOT UNSEEE
7. Um looks more like the morning after HAHA
8. Eh maybe... bit generic YA
11. The light is so fake ew
14. All I have to say is http://imgur.com/s7CSmj6
16. It's too much for me :(
19. YOUR COMMENT MADE ME LOL
22. That is just creepy
28. I did the cover reveal for this. I got the shock of a decade when I saw it. It's really intimate and a bit much
31. Nah Cameron Diaz!
33. Looks like she's trying to drain his life essence from him by sucking it out of his ear.

May 9, 2013 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger Ashleigh Paige said...

Whee, more fun times with Cover Snark!

1. ...I like it!

2. Aw, poor baby. He looks sad. My parents love bulldogs (especially THE Bulldogs), so they would reap your soul. Where do you think I got my evil from? Not the Internet, that's for sure!

3. I think I'm the only person who doesn't like Champion's cover much. The orange splash of color on the rose and the white background make it feel off to me. Orange is only rarely cool.

4. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

6. You know, I only said "Hey, guitars and flowers and shit" (the guitars are because one of the characters is a musician) because at least it's better the The Blessed's hardcover, but now that I look at it, there are a LOT of pseudo-penises and pseudo-vaginas. Including the guitar necks. ESPECIALLY the guitar necks. Too bad one of that will save this book from being utter shit~! (The psychic tingle says so, so shall it be. Besides, when the jacket copy says they lose their way without a fucking GUY around to show them shit, it's going to suck. Hard.)

8. That's okay, we get other fun stuff instead. ;)

11. It says something about me that I see the pink more than I see the scorpion. Give me something pink and poisonous things will eat me alive. Either way, SCORPION FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

13. My college made us do that, yes. Some students live as far away as New York and Colorado (I personally had to travel six hours to get to my college) and they STILL had to come to campus over the summer for a two-day orientation. It was when you signed up for class, so you kind of had to go. However, we did NOT meet our RAs there. We met them when we moved into our rooms just before the semester started.

15. I misread that as Geodudes are for Lovers. Excuse me while I go crawl in my nerdy Pokemon pit of shame.

16. I don't even care about the font because 1) POC and 2) THAT SHATTERED MIRROR TREATMENT IS FUCKING AWESOME. I can haz print of cover?

19. My thought was that the crowd was watching and cheering as the two people started trying to get it on. Voyeurism!

23. He's trying to look up her skirt and some divine power says NO. NO UNDERSKIRT VIEW FOR YOU. YOU COME BACK WHEN YOU RESPECT WOMEN. I like that divine power!

28. That would be how they make baby.

37. Y hello thar, nightmare fuel. I'll be seeing you soon.

1. BOTH WIN BECAUSE TERRIFYING. NO. NO. NOOOOO. GET AWAAAAAAAAAAAY.

5. THE AUSSIES SPELLED OUT 17. THEREFORE, THEY LOSE.

8. She looks like the guy is creeping her out. I'll loan her Cinnamon the Pepper Spray Bottle for a bit.

May 9, 2013 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger Angie F said...

1. I kind of like this one! The font is boring though.

2. Aaaaww!!! LoL

4. I don't care for this one, but I do like the DNA strands.

7. Ew. Feet.

21. OMG LoL

27. That looks more like a frolic than a run.

35. I love Moulin Rouge.

Cover Wars
1. US is so much more interesting!

2. I find them both boring, but the US has a DRAGONFLY!!!! and no feet.

Angie @ Pinkindle Reads & Reviews

May 9, 2013 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger Maja (The Nocturnal Library) said...

Oh, wow, that's a lot of covers! My head's still spinning. I thik Wikki Wakefield's new cover is my favorite. It is VERY creepy and it makes me want to pick up the book right away.
By far the most disturbing is the Passionaries cover. What the hell is that? You're right that it's sexual, but it's also confusing, and those guitars... just no.
And is Armentrout writing adult books under her own name now? The woman should make up her mind already. I find it pretty odd that she's mixing her YA series with adult erotica, with crossover characters too. Ah, well.

May 9, 2013 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Ugh, seriously, Stung? I like how they are not only totally copying the Hunger Games cover but THEN they put "The Hunger Games with a wicked sting." Um... no. I've read this book and even though it's super good, it is not the Hunger Games in any way other than it's a dystopian... that's it.

I hate it when books compare themselves and try to morph into their successful predecessors. (*ahem* Twilight & 50 Shades... even though 50 shades was poorly written in my p.o.) I feel like, what's the point? I read the original, why do I need to read this carbon copy?

May 9, 2013 at 10:52 AM  
Blogger Stacy Renee said...

I think your cover snarks are my favorite thing in the book blogging community right now.

May 9, 2013 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger Bonnie R said...

1. I can't help but think the water background looks vaguely like wrinkled bedsheets. lol
3. I have yet to read this series but this cover makes me want to (dumb, I know). Amazing colors and beautiful design!
6. This looks like some strange kaleidoscope design. Keep turning, maybe it'll get better.
11. HOLY SHIT. At first I was going to comment on the strange bubbles floating around her and THEN I SAW IT AHHHH WTF
15. Yes, weird title. Although Claims are for Lovers doesn't have the same ring to it. But geoducks is confusing. Anyways. Cute cover.
18. I'm totally cool with a banjo playing zombie. But what's that crazy tentacle behind her?
23. Hmm... I like it but I think I'd like it better without the strange boy at the bottom.
26. I could definitely do without the lame tagline but that chick really is looking quite scary.
29. 26??? That's insane. The first one came out in 1978! Lol
32. Tagline definitely needs removed.
37. Creepy but this cover makes me want to read it much more than the Aussie one with some boring water tower on it.

Cover Battles:
6. She's either sweating or melting. Lol That original cover with her coming out of the flower is the WORST.

May 9, 2013 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger GillyB said...

1. LOVE THIS COVER. So unique. Not sure about the bed sheets, but love the white flames.

2. LOVE THIS THE BEST OF THE THREE.

3. "It would be muddy and unclean like his soul." Love.

10. She looks like she's struggling to leverage her eyes open with all that cakey mascara.

12. I actually really like this non-kissy NA cover.

13. ROMANCING THE RA? Seriously? And no, no freshman orientation is remotely like that. And yes, Felicity. And yes, horrendous font.

14. Geoducks are actually very delicious, revolting-looking things. Like are like clams with enormous penises and they're actually pronounced "gooey duck". #thingsIknowthatareuseless #wordsthatshouldneverbeintitles

15. POC EVEN INCOMPLETE I SHALL TAKE HER

19. Ewwwwww.

23. Finally an unabashedly pretty cover! Me like.

25. I love the covers for this series. So pretty, despite the obligatory birds.

35. Come what maaaaay... TOMORROW! TOMORROW, I LOVE YA, TOMORROW. Oh, great, now THAT's gonna be stuck in my head all day... stupid starey cover. Don't know what is says about my head that Annie's the first thing that popped in there.

CB 1. The STUNG cover has always horrified me.

COVERFLIP! YAY! One of the covers there I made. :D


May 9, 2013 at 12:29 PM  
Blogger Highland Hussy said...

5. "Does Rochaester have a motorcycle? Modern Rochester probably would. Though it would probably not be that shiny. It would be muddy and unclean like his soul." OMG I died laughing at that comment. I don't think the cover's bad though- but I will remember that comment for the rest of my life :)

19. I like this cover :) It says sexy times and rockstars-can't go wrong with that right?

May 9, 2013 at 12:37 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

1. Ooh, this is kinda cool! I love the colors!

2. PUPPY! PUPPYPUPPYPUPPY! I think I just channeled Jenny for a minute :) haha.

3. I love this!

37. This. Is. Terrifying. See you in my nightmares, creepy drowning girl. Also, I want to read this, solely based on the cover.

May 9, 2013 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger Heather Roddenberry said...

3. That Marie Lu cover is the BEST of the series. AWESOME. It looks kind of mafia-esque which I TOTALLY love. Yay! Excited to read this book!

6. I think this one might be interesting if it wasn't all purple. What if it was like a rainbow of colors on all the different parts? I think it would look like a cool psychedelic band/ concert poster from the 60s then.

7. Yes! More NA covers like this please.

9. Perfect. Perfect title, perfect cover. LOVE.

11. *snorts*

12. I like this one less than #7.

13. Campus Romance. What a cheesy series title...

14. It's true. They do all look the same. But then again, aren't the stories within pretty much all the same too? So it least there is that connection. I do kinda like that pickup truck though....

15. I like this one too! I think I actually did know what a geoduck was because I saw this really nasty episode of Dirty Jobs a few years back and they were harvesting them. I don't recommend watching it it was REALLY gross.Not sure if they are considered aphrodisiacs though. Anyway, this book looks interesting!

28. I'm kind of over the weird eyes on the guys in Armentrout's covers. Anyone else with me on this one? Glowing eyes are so last year.

29. 26 books?? That's a series I will NEVER start.

30. More weird eyes.

32. I like this one. It's all atmospheric and shit :)

33. And MORE weird eyes. Ugh.

35. I believe in lit and drama that is called breaking the fourth wall. Acknowledging the audience and all that. But yeah, it's a little odd to see this happening on a cover right in the middle of them DOING IT.

36. LOL. Yep.

On the WTF: I actually like that photo (Road Trip!) but on Jack Kerouac's classic?? Marketing FAIL.

Great batch, Christina:)

May 9, 2013 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger Natalie Natflixandbooks said...

I love the cover for Here There be Monsters. I agree that the model for Addicted to You looks like K-Stew and all Nicholas Sparks covers are the same, cheesy mess. I also like the cover for On the Road--but not for On the Road. For real, the girl isn't even close to the main character of that book. What is that about? Oh, and the Friday Never Leaving! *Shivers* Great post!

May 9, 2013 at 1:16 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Well, the On the Road cover is tongue and cheek because of Cover Flip. I like the concept a lot. Haha.

May 9, 2013 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Alright, my new thing is to time myself. I will make this short. Really!!

1:01pm

1. I like the flaming girl thing. It looks neat. It reminds me of the fire children in the movie The Sea Prince and the Fire Child.

3. Whoa!! I kind of love that!!

4. I always like to levitate when my hair looks like genes too!

6. That is a very busy looking cover. Looks like something more from the 70's really.

11. That cover is very pink. And I like the tattoo down her spine. It's pretty awesome. Though, the scorpion is creepy.

12. I like the cover, but her pinky finger is at a weird angle and it is all I can look at, even covered by the title.

15. I like the cover. It's simple and pretty. Ohh and those clams spit really far.

21. All I can see is his nipple. It's just there!

24. There are a lot of Percy Jackson and Kane books aren't there?

30. I like her rings and her sword.

33. I think that cover is pretty badass looking. Her fake eyes aren't overly done, so it's okay to like them.

35. Haha!! I always feel like they want us to watch them, and it's disturbing. Also she looks like she wants to eat him, not kiss him.

37. SO totally creepy and awesome!

Cover Battles

5. I like both too, but I think I like the US cover a little more.

And I agree with your outstanding cover of the week. That is fantastic!!

1:20pm Yes!! 19 minutes!!





May 9, 2013 at 1:21 PM  
Blogger Sara @ Forever 17 Books said...

1. It's interesting but are those bed sheets in the background?
3. Love it! So scared about what the bullet hole could mean though.
11. Ew, no bugs ever ever ever!
12. I really like this one.
25. Really like this too. Loos good with the first one.
28. It's okay. My feelings are tainted b/c I have issues surrounding this book in general.
34. I read this first book and am glad she redid the first two covers and I like this 3rd one. They look worlds better than they did before.

May 9, 2013 at 1:33 PM  
Blogger Shelver506 said...

1. You see waves and flames. I see a naked chick on a bed. Those wrinkled bedsheets completely ruin the pretty for me.

3. Oh woah. This is a big kick in the pants to read the first two books, so TOTAL WIN by the designers.

4. Yeah, this cover would be a dud for me except for that tagline. I do love killers.

7. It would be cooler if that person were dead. Otherwise, meh. (Are you sensing a trend with me?)

8. I'm torn between making a snarky Oz comment and singing Cage The Elephant's "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked."

11. Okay, even I am creeped out by that. Emperor scorpions HURT, you guys!

12. I read the synopsis. Bleck.

15. You clearly have never watched Dirty Jobs. Geoducks are like the craziest, weirdest, most phallicy-looking clam ever. They're bizarre!

16. Woah hey. There are THREE of her. Most covers stop at two. Overambitious or just different?

23. Is this a book about cinema? Because that would be cool.

24. I think I would be more excited about the two series colliding if I'd read more of the books.

26. "The agent of death isn't afraid of taking lives..." No duh. Isn't that kind of her job AS THE AGENT OF DEATH?!

29. The background is so pretty! If only that chick weren't in my way. I can't see, woman!

35. Oh my gosh, he looks like Cary Elwes as Wesley. Please tell me the line "As you wish" is somewhere in that book.

37. *freaks out*

CB1. US, definitely. It's creepier and doesn't compare w/Hunger Games. Because HG had the tracker jackers and therefore plenty of sting, or should we bring up an image of Glimmer?

CB5. Neither do terribly much for me, but the US cover is a setting from the actual book, so it wins for me.

May 9, 2013 at 1:48 PM  
Blogger KM said...

My college had orientation early in the summer. Ours was like 3 days long. I know a lot of colleges do theirs later or are only 1 day, but mine was big on "the freshman experience." I actually thought it was super fun. Besides all the walking around campus and what not, we had a big cook-out and went tubing and played volleyball and stuff. Fun!

And I think I'm like the only person who doesn't like the new Marie Lu cover. I don't know. The bullet hole is cool, I guess. I just feel like the rose is still cheesy... :-/

May 9, 2013 at 1:51 PM  
Blogger Brandy said...

3. Agree. So well done.

5. Snorts.

6. What is that???? Ugh. Creepy sexual and purple. I don't even want to look at it closely.

11. AGH! Actually squeezed my eyes shut and did a little hand wavy thing. There was a Doctor Who ep where one of the characters had a similar type thing on her back for the whole ep. My husband can still make me scream by sneaking up behind me, running his fingers up my shoulder, and making the clicking noise. This cover is causing me to have PTSD. Ick.

13. Yes! In answer to your question. I had a 2 day orientation in June where we registered for classes and what not. Then came back in mid-August for classes to start.

24. Exactly



May 9, 2013 at 2:47 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

3. Haha, so funny, because this one's my favorite of the three. I'd never been a huge fan until now.

4. Yup. It's a good idea, but I'm not impressed by the execution.

6. Yeah, that about sums it up.

7. Agreed.

10. It's like the flowers are so heavy she's falling over!

11. WAHHHH

13. Really? That's so weird to me! I went up earlier, but that was for a weekend where you applied for additional scholarships, not orientation.

25. I think because two girls is less creepy. Makes it look Gossip Girl-y.

33. But the creepy cat-ness is what I like. Haha.

7-8. Yeah, at all.

May 9, 2013 at 5:19 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. You're not the only one to see it. haha. I guess I see what you mean, but I'm not editing. Deal!

3. PURTY.

6. BAHAHAHA. Take that.

7. With just one person?

14. They'll be kissing on the movie cover, I'm sure.

19. YUSS.

22. I agree.

28. Yeah, it looks like he's got his hand in her crack.

32. Don't see it!

May 9, 2013 at 5:25 PM  
Blogger Kayla Beck said...

1. I want neither smoke nor ghosts on my sheets, please and thank you.

2. I have a dog shaming picture. I should've borrowed dogs and made a book ages ago. *sigh*

3. It's better than most, but I'm underwhelmed. It makes me think of the spraypaint tool in Paint.

9. Methinks I shall buy the series.

14. I wonder if there's some double entendre involved. If so, I'll love Nicholas Sparks. :-D

24. This is fucking terrible. >.<

37. I will never buy this book unless the cover changes. *shudders*

May 9, 2013 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger Rachelia said...

1. Oh, this is pretty! I like the gradient/ombre effect for the background.

2. AWWW. This must be compilations from the tumblr?!

3. LOVE this. I love the consistency in this series covers. I haven't read the books, but maybe one day :)

4. Took me a minute to realize those were DNA genes in her hair. At first I was like, huh, that's kind of neat. But more I looked at it, as a whole the more it kinda creeped me out.

5. LOL ALL YOUR COMMENTS ON THIS ONE. YES!

10. Umm, no. This looks like it was created in PicMonkey :(

11. Why is there a scorpion and why is she so damn calm!! I think there was a bit too much photoshopping in this one. Also, was the Washington monument thing duplicated twice on the right?

12. This reminds me of The Language Inside

13. We did have an orientation sort of day for course registration, campus tour, etc. 1-2 months before frosh week but like if you weren't in province/couldn't make it it wasn't a big deal. I went to school at the local university, so didn't impact me much.

15. All I know about geoducks is from the show Dirty Jobs, and that they kinda look like huge penises, haha. That said, I really love this cover!

16. I like this cover! Except for the green/yellow combo.

23. I LIKE. Except for the "OF'. I don't like the placement or the scalloped edged circle.

35. Kinda thought this was too girls at first. But totally know what you mean. STOP STARING AT ME.

37. This terrifies me, so I guess it is well done. I think the title needs to stand out more though...


Can I just say YAY FOR POLLS THAT DON'T MAKE YOU LEAVE THE PAGE? :D :D

Cover Battles
1. UK looks much cooler!

2. NOOO I LOVE THE ORIGINAL COVER!

5. Oh, the Australian cover is pretty but I really don't like the font. & I like 17 in numbers vs. spelled out.

May 9, 2013 at 7:21 PM  
Blogger Stephanie Sinclair said...

1. There actually was a cover in Cover Snark that had this same image except it was a girl on fire. Still looks not good. Also, what is that in the background? A duvet from Ikea?

2. Ooookaaaayyy... moving right along then.

3. LOVE LOVE LOVE this cover!

4. I appreciate what they are trying to do here, but it's not working for me. It's boring.

6. Sexual? Huh. Now that you mentioned it, I do see it. Overall the cover makes no sense to me.

8. Eh. Take away the photoshop rights.

12. She looks like Emma Watson to me.

13. The font treatment needs work.

14. Boring cover is boring.

15. I like this one. Also, what an odd name for clams. Though, I guess it does sound cooler than clams.

16. I dislike this. It's way too busy for my tastes.

17. The backdrop does look like it's out of a video game. But Win for a POC on the cover!

18. The one guy on the banjo type instrument looks like The Mask!

19. Bahahaha! What an odd place to put two bodies.

21. Ah. This is that new book from RH's new NA imprint. I'm pretty meh about the cover.

22. This guy looks like an older version of the guy that graces the Lux series covers. So basically, I approve.

24. Is this a picture book or graphic novel?

25. It's just okay for me. Meh.

26.She looks ready to kick someone's ass.

28. I'm not sure what is going one here, but I think I need to find out. lol.

30. Let me guess, vampire book?

33. This cover looks like TMI series and the Divergent series had a baby.

34. Deuce, Deuce, Deuce. LMAO. Okay, time for me to grow up.

37. I love this. Super creepy!

CB1: BUGS! GAH! I like neither.

CB2: I much prefer the hardcover. I hope when it's released in the US, it has that cover.

CB5: US, FTW, but the Aussie cover is really lovely too.



May 9, 2013 at 7:25 PM  
OpenID thebookwurrm said...

Aaaah, I love the Marie Lu cover. That's sexy. And Friday Never Leaving IS creepy but kinda apt. Fits the story anyway. I love these cover snark posts of yours.

May 9, 2013 at 7:53 PM  
Blogger K. said...

I love the cover snark idead! There are so many bad covers out there it's ridic. I like Dog Shaming, it's funny. Nicholas Sparks -- let's not even. Romancing the RA -- see here, this is what makes me puke. All covers like it. All. Every little one.

Great post!!

May 9, 2013 at 10:29 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

My college actually did make you go to mandatory orientation in the beginning of the summer which made absolutely no sense. I lived a half hour from school (long story), but most students definitely did not. A few years later they abolished this colossal stupidity and started having the orientation a few days before classes started and after everyone was moved in. You'd think the people who run institutions of higher learning would have been smart enough to figure that out sooner.

May 9, 2013 at 10:53 PM  
Blogger Megan K. said...

1. I think that's a bedsheet, too, Christina.

3. LOVE. At first I thought the bullet hole was a bit too badly photoshopped, but I'm willing to cut the cover some slack, because look: not many designers can come up with both badass looking and elegant covers like that.

6. I actually kind of like this cover, despite how weird it is. I wish it matched with the previous book's cover better, though.

7. This one's GOOD. I just checked out its synopsis on Goodreads, and BLEH - it sounds just like any other NA novel, which is kind of disappointing, considering how good the cover is. Tattooed bad boys, girls with a troubled past, running away... ugh, this genre is becoming extremely clichéd.

11. Magical tattooed fairies and pet scorpions? I agree with Jaz: this looks too fake.

12. Eh, don't like the model much either. It reminds me of one of Jennifer Brown's books. Plus, that bright blue and red background at the title doesn't look too good on each other! Choose a color theme and STICK with it!

14. I thought I was the only one! I mean, I do intend to read at least ONE Nicholas Sparks book, but his covers are all extremely plain and boring. I wonder how he managed to reach world recognition with that kind of cover.

17. Is it just me, or does that guy look like Chris Brown? O_O

19. Oh, hell no.

20. Creepy model gazing into my soul. D:

21. YOUR COMMENT.

24. Love this! But wait - does that mean Percy is meeting this Kane guy? I haven't read the Kane Chronicles yet, and I don't think I will, because the first book bored me to death. I don't know if Greek/Roman mythology would work well with Egyptian one, though...

32. The tagline made me snort.

37. Made of win! Simon & Schuster has outdone itself this time. *claps*

Aw, no WTF of the week. Looking forward to next week's one!

May 9, 2013 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

2. Ha, well, those faces do nothing for me. I also hate football, so your parents can deal. I have no fucks to give.

3. I think the splash of orange is strange, but I like it, because it makes the rose less sweet looking.

6. Oh, okay. I read the blurb and it said nothing about music, so I had no way of knowing. The flowers also TOTALLY look like a lady garden. And then there's a phallic shape pointing at the lady garden. And the guitars are going in for the action to. It's upsetting.

13. Jesus, really? That is really stupid. Okay, you're not the only one though. Apparently this is a thing, a stupid thing colleges do. The other people also didn't meet RAs, so I'm still calling shenanigans. What do international students do?

15. I do not remember Pokemon well enough to get that reference.

19. Yup. Same here.

23. Bahahahaha.

28. Ew. Are you for real? Or, uh, not?

May 10, 2013 at 8:55 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. I like the effect on the font though.

7. Creeped out by feet?

May 10, 2013 at 9:03 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Yup, the sheer mass of covers is why this takes me so long to put together. I asked early on if it was too many or if I should cut it down and everyone said long was fine. So here we are.

Seriously, it's so creepy!

Good point! WTF. It's adult, so why isn't it under her J. Lynn name? That's inconsistent.

May 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Very true. That's some shameless reader-grabbing. I've largely heard awful things about Stung, and took it off my own tbr pile.

Yes, I agree. Even though, when compared to things I love, I often fall for that marketing scheme.

May 10, 2013 at 9:09 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh wow, thank you so much!

May 10, 2013 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. I do see it, and you are very much not alone in that.

3. Ha, I'm trying to stop adding things to my tbr just on the cover. I do like this series, though.

5. I doubt that, but good thought.

11. RIGHT?

15. Yeah, very weird, but at least it's cute.

18. HENTAI!!!!

23. I'm guessing that's establishing the POV, but what do I know?

29. I know my parents love the early books, but I don't know if they still read the series. I don't think so. Bahaha.

32. It's weird.

37. A watchtower?

6. Bahahaha.

May 10, 2013 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. This cover has been very divisive.

2. Oh, there's more than one? Fail.

5. *snorts*

10. Eyes. are so. HEAVY

13. Apparently there are orientations like that, but they don't involve the RAs. Fail anyway.

14. So is that title a pun on penises or something?

15. I think she's all there, just, you know, in pieces.

25. CAW!

35. I really don't know. I knew where you were, but then you were hopping about Broadway.

1. Same. It's two of my phobias in one. Gah.

May 10, 2013 at 9:23 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

5. I'm honestly not a fan of the cover, but the blurb peaked my interest. If I see good reviews, I might add it to my to-read.

19. Uhhh, for me, probably myriad ways, but I don't read that much romance. Haha.

May 10, 2013 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

2. You totally did!

37. Hahaha, you and your horror.

May 10, 2013 at 9:34 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

3. It's my favorite of the series by far! Does this mean the font will be maroon?

6. I can't even imagine that, but it would be very Woodstock. Haha.

7. Seconded.

14. They sure are all basically the same.

15. Oh, Dirty Jobs is awesome! I haven't seen any since college though.

28. Glowing eyes are so lame and they need to stop.

29. Right? Overwhelming.

32. Bahaha.

35. Yeah, I don't mind breaking the fourth wall, but, umm, if this is a sexy romance, shouldn't you be enjoying the sex?

Well, that's not a marketing fail, because it's a cover flip!

May 10, 2013 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

4. I can't even help it. Just happens when my hair gene-ifies.

6. Acid trip required to love this cover.

11. Can't see anything but the motherfucking scorpion.

12. She's sort of popping it out. You're right. Huh.

15. Wait. Clam's spit? WTF.

21. Nipple sees you too.

24. Yeah, seems like it.

May 10, 2013 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. Maybe, maybe.

3. Someone dies?

28. The whole erotica of a YA series thing is unsettling.

May 10, 2013 at 10:02 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. Yes, everyone sees sheets. I've got it.

3. The Legend series is fun!

4. Maybe if she were actually a killer. Tentative future killing = she'll totally be saved and innocent forever probably.

7. Maybe they are. Haha. The author said I'd have to read it to know.

8. Both are good.

11. Um, look at the size of that thing. How could it not?

12. I did not, because the title told me it's probably not an NA for me.

13. Well, I have, but I haven't watched EVERY episode.

16. Actually, she's in five pieces!

23. No clue! This is why I link to GR. I know nothing.

24. Oh, this is a crossover?

26. Nah, usually agents of death just get grim reapers acting jobs.

29. Bahaha.

35. I was thinking Josh Lucas in Sweet Home Alabama. *drools*

May 10, 2013 at 11:10 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh, your orientation sounds way more fun. Ours involved taking a week long simulation class, which was super dumb, and didn't help prep for the college experience. It was nice to have a week on campus before the semester began to get to know one another, just the freshmen, but it was right before school started.

Aw, the bullet hole and splash of orange saves it from cheesiness for me.

May 10, 2013 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Dude!! Yes, clams spit. Funny story: One day I was getting ready to make a bunch of steamers and I decided to put them in a huge bowl of salt water since I heard it cleans them out. Well, I had them on the counter in my kitchen and went into the living room. I started hearing a splat noise coming from the kitchen so I went in to see what it was, and when I walked in front of the bowl, the clams had their heads (or whatever it is) sticking out and they were spitting all over the place. So that's how I know they spit lol!!

Sorry, totally just wrote a friggin' book in your comments haha!

May 10, 2013 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger Kara_Malinczak said...

Cover Snark Time! This week looks like a good one! My fingers aren't typing correctly today though, so I am going to only comment on the ones I really have something to say about.

1. I really like this one. I think it's unique and different and I love the colors.

2. Bulldogs are TOTALLY ridiculous looking. How can you not find that adorable?

3. Yeah, I like it. But isn't that a stock image that is used in a self-pubbed book?

4. This really creeps me out for some reason and makes me really uncomfortable so I GUESS I like it?

6. WTF is that? It looks like a novella cover!

7. BORING.

10. She looks like she's 30. Is she supposed to be with those overgroomed eyebrows?

14. So fucking boring. But so are his books.

15. I really like this one too. And it's just rocks. ROCKS can be interesting. Take note, cover artists!

21. Ummm, it looks like she is listening to his stomach as if he is pregnant. O_O

22. This is just awful. And the body doesn't even match up with the HEAD.

23. LOOOVVVEEEE this cover.

30. OH GOD. The red eyes. *eyeroll* Also agreed on the font.

31. No. She does not. LOL.

33. It's because you have never seen them in that color before. Also, large pupils!

That Maureen Johnson post was epic!

May 10, 2013 at 7:33 PM  
Blogger Pabkins said...

This was such a freaking pleasure to read! I have to remember to come back everytime you do one. loved the voting too. bugs on covers hooray!! haha

Some of those covers are just ridiculous. What is up with the ladders in Uninvited hair? really. I love the Friday Never Leaving - so creeptastic

May 14, 2013 at 1:00 PM  
Blogger Blook Girl said...

Just now reading this, but...

"This is so sexual that I can't even. And what's up with the guitars? And I just, I can't. My ability to can has temporarily been suspended."

BEST. QUOTE. EVER.

May 15, 2013 at 5:17 PM  

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