A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Cover Snark (65): Romancing the Snark

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

If you feel so inclined, you can vote for Cover Snark in The Bloggy Awards here. ;)

Shiny and New:

1. Phoenix Overture (Newsoul #2.5) - Jodi Meadows

Thoughts: So Sam has a translucent eye patch made out of a bird? Okay then. His hair may also be on fire. Also, I no longer find him attractive. Fine, his eyes are pretty, but that's it.

2.The Queen's Choice (Heirs of Chrior #1) - Cayla Kluver

Thoughts: "Oh look, a woman wrote a fantasy novel. Well, it either has to be white people with shiny eyes or a floating knife. Maybe if we go with the knife, some boys will read it too."

3. Two Roads - L.M. Augustine

Thoughts: So many shades of blue. I also don't know why there are so many covers of upside down kisses, eskimo or otherwise.

4. Secret (Elemental #4) - Brigid Kemmerer

Thoughts: Something tells me it was very cold at this photoshoot. Hint: nipples. Also, there's a girl on the cover. That's a first. Does that mean she chose from her reverse harem?

5. The Actual and Truthful Adventures of Becky Thatcher - Jessica Lawson

Thoughts: So. Cute. Of course, I'm not a huge fan of Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn, but I could be down for this. Also, that tagline is off the hook. Ladies can be sassy rapscallions too!

6. Romancing the Duke (Castles Ever After #1) - Tessa Dare

Thoughts: I love the sassy expression on her face. Very Jennifer Ehle. I feel like they could have done a better job blending her into the background, though. Definitely looks like one picture superimposed over the other, not a cohesive whole.

7. The Only One - Megan Vernon

Thoughts: Looks as though they have some sort of unfortunate skin condition. Tried to google for what, but the pictures scared me too much. My guess: hybrid of leprosy and gangrene. Gangrosy.

8. Such Sweet Sorrow - Jenny Trout

Thoughts: If it worked for Masque of the Red Death...

9. Searching for Beautiful - Nyrae Dawn

Thoughts: Is beautiful on the ground? Nope. That's dog shit. Aaaaand I stepped in it. It's cold and there's poop everywhere, but no beautiful. I am in the WRONG place.

10. Suit & Fangs - Marian Tee

Thoughts: This could be a scene out of a classy Lady Gaga video, only the girl would be in underwear. Am I right? Also, I feel like the tagline means neverending love triangle, to which I say no thanks.

11. It All Started with a Lima Bean (Intertwined Hearts #1) - Kimi Flores

Thoughts: Lima beans: the most romantic of legumes.

12. Red Hill - Jamie McGuire

Thoughts: Well, that's creepy. Wait, this is a zombie book? So the hill is red with blood? I totally just thought it was red clay. We have that round these parts. Of course, Atlanta IS where the zombies are, so...

13. Soul Taken (The Life After #1) - Katlyn Duncan

Thoughts: Huh. So the soul is the color of a yellow highlighter. Who knew!

14. Skulk - Rosie Best

Thoughts: Look at those hooligan teenagers skulking in tunnels. Ruffians! At least they're not on my lawn.

15. The Best Horror of the Year, Volume 5 - Ellen Datlow, ed.

Thoughts: SO CREEPY. SO AWESOME. It's like a zombie bride of Christ or something.

16. Girl on the Golden Coin - Marci Jefferson

Thoughts: SHINY. *pets* Corsets make bodies look so weirdly shaped. Like, the boobs are so startling. Nothing nothing nothing BOOOOOOOBS IN YO FACE.

17. Words of Radiance (The Stormlight Archive #2) - Brandon Sanderson

Thoughts: Hmmmm, the first one didn't look quite so cartoony. The pose, the hair, the expression are all just not working for me. I do love the font treatments, and background though. Also, what's with the little Hershey's Kiss-shaped things?

18. Inky (The Leaves #1) - J.B. Hartnett

Thoughts: Picture in picture: not just for TVs anymore. My guess about the plot: Following her divorce, a woman travels to the beach where she was married, now gray and stormy to represent her mental state. She takes with her the photo of her wedding day, and realizes she should have known the relationship was doomed when her wedding dress caught fire during the ceremony (who thought carrying a lantern was a good idea?). Will she get her groove back? Or will she be caught in a riptide of sad emotions?

19. Sword & Mythos - Silvia Moreno-Garcia and Paula R. Stiles, eds.

Thoughts: This totally looks like a grown up Mulan falling into the sarlacc pit.

20. Tone Deaf - Olivia Rivers

Thoughts: If her world is entirely silent, she's more than tone deaf.

21. P.I.'s Like Us - Tara Brown

Thoughts: Based on the note accompanying this reveal, I'm not sure if this is a joke or a real cover, but we'll just pretend either way. So, I actually think the cover is hilarious EXCEPT that the title is grammatically incorrect. There's really just not any coming back from that.

22. I Am Forever (What Kills Me #2) - Wynne Channing

Thoughts: She may be forever, but she won't be dressed for much longer. Don't you hate when your clothing turns into butterflies?

23. Cake - Lauren Dane

Thoughts: CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE.

24. Aunt Dimity and the Wishing Well (Aunt Dimity #19) - Nancy Atherton

Thoughts: This is adorable. Though I'm confused by the bunny. Is Aunt Dimity a rabbit? 19 books and I never knew it was about a rabbit detective?

25. Covenant (The Books of Raziel #2) - Sabrina Benulis

Thoughts: Those red wings are pretty badass. Way better than white ones. And she has crow minions.

26. Chorus (Coda #2) - Emma Trevayne

Thoughts: S'alright.

27. Corroded (The St. Croix Chronicles #3) - Karina Cooper

Thoughts: TINY HAT.

28. Fairies in My Fireplace (A Monster Haven Story #3) by R.L. Naquin

Thoughts: The only creature that ever belongs in my fireplace is Santa, and he better come bearing presents. Based on her taste in apparel, I don't want what she's offering, even if she IS coming with gifts. Also, wtf is with the floating eyes?

29. Moth and Spark - Anne Leonard

Thoughts: Approve. Though, apparently this book is about dragons, and I'm not getting that from the cover AT ALL.

30. Savage Girl - Jean Zimmerman

Thoughts: *flails* The title! The drawn background! Want!

31. The Offering (The Pledge #3) - Kimberly Derting

Thoughts: This face promises melodrama forever. I'm guessing she thinks her boyfriend is dead and is contemplating tearing her own throat out. Also, Blythe, don't put this in Sadie Hawkins. Don't do it! *waggles finger menacingly*

32. The Barrow - Mark Smylie

Thoughts: This is not a smart way to hold a sword. Also, where is your shirt?

33. The Volatile Amazon (Alliance of the Amazons #4) - Sandy James

Thoughts: Aren't all Amazons volatile? That knife is pretty wicked.

34. Vengeance (Fracture #2) - Megan Miranda

Thoughts: THIS DOES NOT MATCH FRACTURE. Also, yellow and purple? Really?

35. Scarlet Devices (Steam and Seduction #2) - Delphine Dryden

Thoughts: Neither of these people looks interested in seducing anyone but their own reflections. Also, I'm not sure that I approve of how much stomach she's showing off for a steampunk, but I guess that depends on the world building. Definitely do not approve of how tiny his vest is.

36. Bite Me (Pride #9) - Shelly Laurenston

Thoughts: Pretty well done, though I would probably prefer just the pretty kitty face. Still, way more creative than most PNRs, so *applauds*

37. Fearless - Tawny Weber

Thoughts: I just love when they release such tiny covers. Blurb says coworker romance, but I'm totally getting a sexy school librarian and student vibe. Also, bleh.

38. Unforgotten (Unremembered #2) - Jessica Brody

Thoughts: Blurry kissing and lens flare. NOPE.

39. Cress (The Lunar Chronicles #3) - Marissa Meyer

Thoughts: Rapunzel! Is Cress short for Watercress? Like her mom was craving a different food? Either way EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Cover Battles:

1. Perfect Ruin (The Internment Chronicles #1) - Lauren DeStefano

US vs. UK: Apparently this girl just has really big hair. The backgrounds and font treatments of both are lovely, but they just HAD to put a person on the cover. *sighs* It's just not a Lauren DeStefano cover without some massive hair. My Pick: Ehhhh, UK, because I hate the blurriness of her arm on the US one.

2. Codex Born (Magic Ex Libris #2) - Jim C. Hines

US vs. UK: Really, US designers? The UK gets that awesomeness and we get a girl popping out of a tree with some Word Art? NOT FAIR. My Pick: UK.

3.Angelopolis (Angelology #2) - Danielle Trussoni

Take 1. vs. Take 2: I'm really not bothered. Both covers make me laugh. The new one looks like an angel stuck in a whole. 127 Hours, now starring an angel! My Pick: *shrugs*

4. Waiting for Wednesday (Frieda Klein #3) - Nicci French

Australian vs. US: I've been loving the US covers for this series, but this one's kinda boring. But so is the Australian one. Both have nice font treatments, so I don't know. My Pick: Ehhhhhh.

5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter #7) - J. K. Rowling

Original US vs. Redesign US: Awwww, it's the last one! Sort of sad watching the classics get outclassed, but also LOOK AT THAT DRAGON! My Pick: Dragon, duhhhhhh.

6. Burn (Pure #3) - Julianna Baggott

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Pretty sure the first one was a leak, but we'll talk about it since it appeared. I actually think I like that one better. The simplicity seems to fit with the series a bit more than the fire in my opinion. I also don't like how the font is fading out on the new one. The fact that the origami bird is on fire is cool though. My Pick: Take 1, mostly.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling

Actually, all of the redesigns are absurdly awesome, and their spines make Hogwarts. Heaps all of the awards.

Learn More or Preorder:

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Labels: Cover Snark

48 Comments:

Kimberly @ Midnight Book Girl said...: 1. I haven't read the series, but I've always thought the covers were pretty. This one... not so much.

5. I enjoyed Huck Finn as a kid, and this cover looks similar to the cover that I had which is awesome.

7. Gangrosy is right!

10. I really like this cover, but it's a no for neverending love triangles.

12. I also thought it was red clay. Despite the fact that I freaking hate zombies I almost want to read it just to see if Red Hill could give me as much whiplash as Beautiful Disaster did.

13. My soul is electric blue thank you very much.

15. Holy crap that is seriously creepy. Good think I don't look at cover snark before bed!

18. After reading the synopsis I've decided that your version of the story sounds much more awesome.

21. It annoys me that the magnifying glass isn't magnifying anything! Stupid.

34. Complete 180 from Fracture and it's not appealing.

39. I love this more than the other two.

CB5. Want.

CB6. I haven't read the books but I don't think either cover really matches the first two, however the Take 1 matches better than Take 2.; August 1, 2013 at 6:58 AM
Anonymous said...: 3. Let me guess, she takes the one less traveled by, and that makes all the difference. *eyeroll*

11. Oh my god the heart-shaped lima bean leaves. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

19. And I would totally read something where Mulan fought the sarlacc.

38. Ugh, how did they get from the very pretty Unremembered cover to this?

CB6. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH PURE SERIES! I wish they'd combined the simplicity of the first with the burning swan on the second, but otherwise, super pretty. God I love these books.

Totally added Savage Girl to my TBR thanks to this post. I hope she actually was raised by wolves, and I hope she bites the narrator, because he sounds annoying and gross.; August 1, 2013 at 7:58 AM
Bekka said...: 2. I'd bet any amount of money that the sequel is either a floating gem or a floating crown. Boring.

4. I hate every single one of these cover and this one is not an exception.

11. Worst font ever.

12. Well, I know one book I won't be reading.

15. SO MUCH WANT. Also "Zombie bride of Christ" has to be one of the best descriptions of anything ever.

35. Can we please STAHP with the "first time in print" crap?

39. I love this one sooooooooooooo much. I think it's my favorite of the three, though I really loved Cinder's cover. Scarlet, not so much.

5. Ugh, I need these new HP covers. NEED. I mean, I already have two sets of the books, but damn, how can I not have a copy with that dragon on it?

6. If I had to pick, I'd go with the first one, but I don't particularly like either of them to go along with the series. Aren't the other two books black? They wouldn't look right all lined up together.; August 1, 2013 at 8:40 AM
Sara @ Forever 17 Books said...: 8. Reminds me of the Dearly, Departed cover. In fact when I first looked it up I thought it might be a sequel or something.
12. The Red Hill cover is simple yet creepy.
13. I feel like I've seen this same thing, with minor changes, a over and over. There has got to be other pictures people can use, right?
15. OMG that is super awesome and creepy!
23. I really hate when the title is smaller than the author's name.

I love the Harry Potter redesigns. Even though I have them already, I'm gonna need to get this box set.; August 1, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Christina said...: I'm not a fan of the covers for this series at all, except maybe the first one.

5. This cover is awesome!

7. :-p

12. Haha, your masochist is showing through!

13. Oooh, mine would be jade green.

15. Totally better in the morning.

18. Oh dear. O_O

21. Good point.

34. Christina is NOT pleased.

Cb6. It should have a black background, right?; August 1, 2013 at 10:10 AM
Christina said...: 3. Bahaha, Robert Frost joke.

11. You are welcome for that.

38. I don't know, but at least I won't be tempted to request it. X_X

CB6: I still need to read the second one. Whoops.

I loved her first novel, so I'm super exciting.; August 1, 2013 at 10:22 AM
Christina said...: EXCITED. Though I like to think I am also exciting.; August 1, 2013 at 10:22 AM
Christina said...: 2. That is a bet I will not take.

4. I'm not a fan either. They all have weird faces.

11. You don't like Curlz? BUT WHY?

12. Only one? I see three listed just on that cover1

15. Thanks! I was pretty proud of it. Seems rather apt.

35. PLEASE YES.

39. I'm not sure which my favorite is. It actually might be Scarlet. :-p

5. I want them so much. But I already have a full set. Sigh.

6. Truth. Black would be better.; August 1, 2013 at 10:32 AM
Christina said...: It does also resemble those covers, though I definitely see Masque more than anything.

13. There are so many photos like that of girls floating in unnatural positions. It is odd.

23. Me too. X_X; August 1, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Ashleigh Paige said...: 2. I like the quality of the cover because all the details are so clear, but that's it. Such an unimaginative cover. Boo. Still, I'd take a print of the cover but not a copy of the book because Kluver ain't that great of a writer anyway.

4. "reverse harem" *almost puts all the books on TBR pile* *resists because I know there's not actually one and I'm sad*

5. I need that cover and I need that book. *lunges for it*

7. Ugh, someone needs to throw NA writers and cover designers some new cover ideas. I'm so tired of seeing people making out, about to make out, or contorting themselves in sexual positions. Blah blah blah.

8. I was going to say it reminded of of Deadly, Departed! Masque of the Red Death is a better fit, though. Strangely, I don't want the cover any less. SO PRETTY AND RED-PINK.

12. Considering my parents' tales of red clay and how it can stick something fierce, maybe it IS red clay and the survivors use it to try to stop the zombies in their tracks. They get stuck and starve and die. THE END.

15. I don't think I'll be unseeing that for some time. Ow.

22. RIP pretty dress. It will be missed, most likely by her. Let's hope she finds somewhere to hide before her dress is gone.

23. *leaves to go eat more of my strawberry cake with vanilla icing and sprinkles* Mmmmm, cake. Delicious.

28. I hope they're in the fireplace during summer and not winter. If it's winter, it's more like Fairy Bits and Pieces in the Ashes.

31. I like that shade of blue! I need a frilly dress in that shade now. *goes shopping*

34. The only cover it matches for Fracture is the UK one. >:( WTF, pub? We like consistency! At the very least, a redesign of book 1 is in order even though paperbacks are already out. That didn't stop Across the Universe from getting a redesign.

38. It took me a while to work out a couple kissing. All I saw was a blurry explosion, possibly of cheese.

39. Prettyyyyyyyyy. <3 And I'm pretty sure Winter's cover is going to be an apple now, seeing as they stuck with the red color scheme. Boo, apples.

1. I'm not a fan of either. The US one has the wild hair and too many things going on and the UK one looks a little Photoshop slap-dashed together. But yes, the font treatments are lovely.

2. ZOMFG THE FONT USED FOR THE C ON THE UK COVER IS THE SAME AS THE FONT ON CRESS'S COVER.

It's clear I'm going to need to pick up the new HP books. I only own four of them and they're all a bit destroyed, so yeah.; August 1, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Christina said...: 2. Yeah, they did a nice job making it high def. I mean, it's nice for a knife cover, but it's just a knife cover. BORING.

4. Yeah, I don't think there is one either, but I love that term and will use it at every possible opportunity.

5. Thank goodness Experiment added it to Goodreads. I knew people would want to add it!

7. Lack of creativity for the fail. Also, gangrosy is not teh sexy.

12. Bahaha. I like it.

22. Or maybe she's cool with nakedess. Though her fists would suggest she is not pleased about her dress spontaneously exploding into butterflies.

28. I like it!

31. I love how much you love dresses.

34. Maybe this is the UK one? I'm not always good about checking that if it's the first cover. Haha.

38. Cheese explosion is right.

39. That would be so twilight though... Maybe snow with blood on it?

1. I don't like either either, but the UK is less annoying to my eye.

2. Fairy tale font TM.; August 1, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Natalie @Natflix&Books said...: 16. For real. BOOBS.

21. Um, so nobody involved with this book knows the purpose of an apostrophe? There are 11 words on this cover--including the author's name--and you got one of them wrong. That doesn't bode well for what's inside.

24. Pretty cute, but is Aunt Dimity related to Donnie Darko?

25. Red wings and a crow army = complete bad ass-ery

27. It reminds me of that SNL sketch with Kristen Wiig where the women at brunch try to out-tiny-hat each other.

39. LOVE

HP: I just saw the box set today. Hogarts! So cool!; August 1, 2013 at 11:22 AM
GillyB said...: 1. I hate this cover. He looks like Mimi-Siku. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jungle_2_Jungle

2. Ugh. Seriously.

5. OMG! Becky Thatcher! This looks awesome. Becks can be mischievous too!

9. LOLOLLLL

11. It... all... started... with a... LIMA. BEAN. REALLY? The art of titling, it is dead.

14. Street rats!

15. NIGHTMARES.

16. Thank you for that highly scientific assessment of corsets. I concur.

17. They look like Hershey's Kiss poop.

19. She looks admirably unconcerned that a monster is about to eat her arm.

22. That happened to me last week while I was walking through a wintry forest and it was rather uncomfortable.

23. THERE IS NO CAKE ON THIS COVER FALSE ADVERTIZING

25. I stay away from angel books but that is awwwwwwesome.

26. First one is way better.

29. GORGEOUS cover, but if there's dragons in the book, you better put a BIG ASS DRAGON on the cover so I know about it.

32. This cover angers me. *kills it*

39. I've always thought that about the Cress-Watercress thing, but I like it. I ALSO LIKE THIS COVER BECAUSE EEEEE, CRESS!

CB 1. I like the US better. it's more original, and I love those little designy things.

CB3. FABERGE EGGS ALWAYS WIN EVEN IF THEY DO LOOK SILLY ALWAYS PICK THE FABERGE EGG

CB 5. wantwantwantwantwantwaaaaaant; August 1, 2013 at 12:42 PM
Shelver506 said...: 1. He's definitely more, um, baby-faced than I had pictured.

5. Ooh! Get it, Becks!

9. I got really excited for a second, because when I glanced, she looked like Rose Tyler.

12. This looks not-romancey, which is exciting.

13. Her soul is the color of sand dollar pee. Nice. Also, that looks like it burns.

17. Dragon poo-poo?

18. Can we just talk about how much I hate the title?

19. Somehow I think your interpretation is cooler than the actual book.

21. Opaque pantyhose with strappy shoes? No thanks.

22. Are those butterflies or glass shards? Also, hi POC!

25. But how does she fit through doors? Or sleep?

26. No. No no no. Ew. *gestures like Yzma* Take it away.

29 and 30. *runs to Goodreads*

31. Did she give up her voice to a sea witch?

37. "sexy school librarian and student vibe" CANNOT UNSEE.

39. Yep! Meyer said that both rapunzel and watercress are types of lettuce. Who knew!; August 1, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Morgan said...: 2. I actually like it! It's cliche but pretty and I like the knife in the water aspect. I'd pick it up to see what the book is about.
5. Love the font treatment! Not a big Huck Finn fan either but the cover is nice.
16. Excited for this book! It looks really similar to a lot of historical fiction books of this ilk but I still really love the color and flow of the dress, as well as the coin :)
39. LOVE love love the Cress cover! I love how each in the series has red in it to tie them together. It's gorgeous.
Cover Battle 3: I like Take 1 best; I'd pick up that book but I wouldn't even glance at the cover of Take 2

Also Harry Potter and Scholastic win at life, forever. I LOVE the new covers! I love that the trio is on the last one! And the spines are amazing. Can't wait to see the back images and get the boxed set :); August 1, 2013 at 12:51 PM
Amy said...: 1. I like the colors, but it's kind of weird looking.

3. I hate it when I can't read the background. I want to know what it says.

4. His arms look uncomfortable in that shirt. I never did get the tight muscle shirt thing.

11. Lol!! That is such a random title. Sounds like it might be cute though.

12. I actually really like that cover.

13. I'm pretty much over that same position of the girl on covers.

15. That is a creepy awesome cover!! Love it!

21. That is a pretty funny cover.

22. Is she walking barefoot in the snow while her dress slowly crumbles away? Not the best idea.

23. I see no cake, just a really awkward looking kiss.

25. Her wings totally match her hair. That's pretty awesome!

30. What a pretty cover.

32. That looks rather dangerous to me.

39. OMG I love it!!!

CB1. I like the UK version better too, but like the border of the US one.

CB5. Yes!! Love the dragon one!!

CB6. I like the first better, but it would be cool if the oragami bird was on fire on it.; August 1, 2013 at 1:10 PM
Christina said...: 21. Does not bode well at ALL. I would never read a book with an error on the cover. Just no.

24. *mind explodes*

25. That sounds AMAZING.; August 1, 2013 at 1:25 PM
Christina said...: 1. Mimi-Siku was cuter.

2. Looks so cute!

11. DED.

15. ALADDINNNNN

16. You know me and science. Best friends and all that.

17. I almost said poop. But poop's not like that in real life generally.

22. It just HAD to be wintry didn't it? But then again you wore a revealing dress to a wintry forest, so maybe you deserve it.

23. I DEMAND CAKE.

29. My thoughts exactly. Dragons are BADASS. Why not put them on your cover?

3. Noted.; August 1, 2013 at 1:32 PM
Christina said...: 1. More unfortunately-faced than I pictured too.

11. Oh, I see it! Only her hair matches her eyebrows.

12. But I bet it will be, since they're calling it new adult.

13. Sand dollars pee? And it's that color? O_O

17. Must be some pretty tiny dragons.

22. Butterflies, I think, but it's not high res enough for certainty.

25. She blows the ceiling off buildings and flies in.

29 & 30. I added both too. Haha.

31. MAYBE.

37. AHAHAHAA

39. OH REALLY. I HAVE LEARNED A THIIIIING!; August 1, 2013 at 1:35 PM
Christina said...: 2. I think it's about fairies? I'm not sure. But I loved her first series, so I'm reading it. It's well done for what it is, just not very unique.

5. I'll try it for the cover/feminism.

16. So not unique, but the shinieeeees.

39. And the style is so original!; August 1, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Disquietus said...: I'm choosing to believe that the Sam on the cover is the original one before they were reincarnated and that actual same is much more attractive. The eyes are pretty and I like the colors but the face is not attractive at all.

Awwwwwwwww I love the cover for The Offering. And the Cress cover makes me swoon and actually want to read the series.

The UK cover of Perfect Ruin is much better. As is all the HP redesign covers.; August 1, 2013 at 1:40 PM
Christina said...: 1. Very weird looking.

3. AGREED.

4. I like guys wearing clothing that fits, but that's TOO tight.

13. It needs to stop.; August 1, 2013 at 1:42 PM
Christina said...: Ha, good idea. In my head, I made him look like Hugh Dancy. I make a lot of male leads look like Hugh Dancy. *sighs and googles Hugh Dancy gifs*; August 1, 2013 at 1:43 PM
Lili said...: ahhh CRESS! <3 Ugh, I'm so disappointed with the cover of PHOENIX OVERTURE! I also had similar thoughts in regards to SECRET.

I'm gonna ruin why there's a girl on the cover for you, so if you haven't read BREATHLESS ignore this. There's a girl on the cover because Nick's gay. I'm 100% sure that's why because he pretty much uses her to inadvertently pursue the guy he likes (or at least that's what the novella makes me think). So, yeah. Girl because he ain't into girls. Stupid, yes. Nipples, yes. But that's my take on it.; August 1, 2013 at 2:01 PM
Christina said...: I haven't read any of them, but I probably won't read any but the first. It'll be forever anyway. Wait, so there's a girl on the cover with him because he doesn't like them? O_o; August 1, 2013 at 2:04 PM
Christina Reads YA said...: It is teh time for SNARK. Yess. Last week I was a bit "meh" about most things bloger-ness, so I missed out. (Does that ever happen for you? I wonder, sometimes, since you're so good at keeping up with everything. *sigh*)

1. I'm a little surprised the phoenix is like that eyepatch instead of a full-on mask thing that they did with the butterfly & flowers of the other covers. Also, I agree. He's got soulful, pretty eyes, but he's so mournful and his chin reminds me of a baby. Also, he looks like my brother, so that's an automatic no.

2. *sigh* why is it always the sword too? At least Fire had the bow. (Also the fringe totally goes against the effect - if they were trying for cross gender appeal.)

3. Spiderman, yo. The upside down kiss - that's what they're all at (though the nose bumping seems kind of awkward, imho). Ahhh, the shades of blue when you consider the superhuman responsibility of kissing.

4. Omg, I didn't even notice the nipples the first time around and now they're the only thing I can see.

7. .... "he is her Only One?" Because that wasn't implied by the title and the hand sneaking down her pants? Okay, sorry, that's a bit mean but whut? why? (Also: gangrosy. lol. I only noticed all these details after you had me looking at their skins like this: o.O)

8. I don't understand the pen name part of this one.

9. Good thing I am nowhere near where you are o.O.

10. That or she's supposed to be cold and never, ever ever ever lets her emotions help her decide what to do. Either way, blah. And hey, it is like a Lady Gaga video, because that dude. Those glasses. Hey, I'll take it.

11. Lol even with the snark, that is kind of adorable, and immediately makes me curious about the book.

12. I actually really, really like this one. I like the font and color treatment and the placement of the blurb, though the author name comes close to messing with your rules.

13. ... I have no words.

14. Man, you know I looked at your Pinterest page when I failed with my bookish rounds and thought there weren't that many cover reveals, but as always, I find something new here from you that I should have included o.O.

15. The picture is creepy and awesome but the "price tag" look of the names and title kinda ruins it for me. Christ bride, indeed; at first, I thought that was just a glint on my screen, but there's the crown...

17. Damn the subtle advertisement for chocolate on moldy, cracked ground. What's with the tongue-like tie too?

22. Like Shattered Souls cover. Are those butterflies?? And it's a shame, 'cause I want that dress.

31. By saying don't... you tempt nearly everyone to do just that >).

34. Hey!!! Purple and yellow is GREAT. LAKER PRIDE FOREVER.

39. THIS IS TOTALLY THE BEST ONE OF THE ENTIRE SERIES AND OMG I WISH I COULD READ THIS NOW.

CB1: Really? I thought you'd have a nitpick with the fact that she's literally staring down a floating island.

CB5: And to think, you don't even remember this dragon but are willing to pick it. Harrumph.; August 1, 2013 at 2:43 PM
Christina said...: It TOTALLY happens. I did nothing but keep my blog going for like two weeks. Very little commenting or even responding to comments here. Almost no tweets. It was awful.

1. No to brother face. That's the correct response.

2. But Graceling had the sword. Book one is always a knife. Book two can sometimes do something different. Well, Prophecy did a jewel and then a blade, but usually #1 = knife.

3. Stupid Spiderman. lol. I always hated that scene because I would have pulled the mask all the way off.

4. You're welcome.

7. Their skin is green and spotted. That's NOT NORMAL.

8. Is that a pen name?

10. Dude's kind of hot, thought it might just be the suit.

12. It's HUGE.

15. Oh, well, I tend to slack on adding the pins until the day before or so.

17. Huh. It is weird. I think it's his 90s style karate hair tie.

34. But I didn't say don't to everyone!

1. Is that what's happening? O_o

5. IT'S PRETTY SHUT UP.; August 1, 2013 at 2:52 PM
Disquietus said...: That's okay. In my head, all my fictional boyfriends look exactly like Daniel Sharman. It works for me.; August 1, 2013 at 2:58 PM
Christina Reads YA said...: Pen name for JLA.

And I'll shut up when you're doing your read-along with those other bloggers :). Until then... muahaha DRAGON-IGNORANT.; August 1, 2013 at 2:59 PM
Christina said...: I've never heard of this person. Totally not my type, but you get it girl!; August 1, 2013 at 2:59 PM
Christina said...: OMG ANOTHER?

How many pen names does one person need? Also UGH.; August 1, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Kayla Beck said...: 1. Bahahahahaha!!! *laughs forever at the cover*

4. That is some of the worst Photoshop work that I've seen on anything not self-published.

15. I fucking love it.

17. That guy is Zoolander. He strikes some fierce poses on these covers.

25. I bought Archon for the cover. This one isn't going on my shelf.

28. They're Santa's little helpers, Christina, and they're both watching you.

29. Gorgeous!

32. Naked lady would rather cut her own head off than bear another minute of his touch.

39. *sigh* The cover is disappointing, but I did like the excerpt that was released with it.; August 1, 2013 at 3:05 PM
Christina said...: 1. RIGHT? It would only be better if he had a derp expression.

4. *snerks*

15. I know you do, hon.

17. Hippie zoolander.

25. OH SNAP.

28. NOOOOOOOOO

32. I do not blame naked lady, though I would recommend going for HIS head.

29. Awww, too bad. But yay for the excerpt. I do not read those.; August 1, 2013 at 3:11 PM
Judith said...: 1. HAHAHA. He looks so manly with the pretty swirlies on this face.

2. It would be funny if this were a contemporary book about a cook or something like that but NOPE. Hello, high fantasy, you predictable cover.

3. I can't read the lines in the background and it's pissing me off. I need to know what it says.

4. One big Photoshop thumbs up. (Eh. Or not.)

8. I honestly thought it was a sequel to that one when I saw this!

9. You might find beautiful if you pushed your hair out of your face. Or, you know, opened your eyes.

11. The font. It hurts my eyes. *quickly scrolls down*

12. This font treatment, on the other hand, I LOVE.

15. EW GET IT AWAY FROM ME

22. I don't know, she looks like she doesn't care all that much.

28. I let it slip with the other covers but WHAT'S WITH THE CRAZY COLORS THIS WEEK?!

30. Okay now THIS ONE I LIKE. A LOT.

33. CRAZY COLORS AGAIN.

36. This could have been awesome but eh. Nope.

38. Oh wow, this is so original and different from the original. I can totally tell which book is which. *coughs*

39. I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS I CAN'T EVEN. I think Scarlet is my favorite but that's mostly because the colors <3 I ADORE this one though.

Cover battles.

1. Uh. Whyyy do they ruin these with the girl? It just doesn't WORK. I like both of them minus the person, but I prefer the US because minimalism.

2. DOES HE HAVE A SPIDER ON HIS SHOULDER? EWWWW GET IT AWAY FROM ME. I don't care about either of them.

3. The first is boring, the second is weird. Nope.

4. Blogger memes: first time in print. I prefer the US one but JUST because of the font.

5. Okay, is that really what Hermione's hair looks like (I wish I could say "from the back" but it's obviously the front) ? BUT I LOVE IT. Gahhhh. I'm SO PISSED I bought those UK adult covers in December because LOOK AT THE PERFECTION. Yes, this needs a lot of caps lock.

Crying over Harry Potter.; August 1, 2013 at 3:15 PM
Christina said...: 1. Well, he has been a woman in a number of lives.

3. Readers want to read and we can't and grrrr.

8. Ahahaha.

9. She just saw the dog poo.

22. She has rage fists.

28. NO idea.

30. Me too. #3 favorite for sure.

39. Agreed!

1. The girl needs to gtfo. I actually think the US one is busier.

2. AHHHH, HE DOES WHY DID YOU POINT THAT OUT OH GOD WHY

I want ALL OF THEM. But I already own the books. *pouts*; August 1, 2013 at 3:25 PM
Kat said...: Snarkfest!

1. He looks about 12. I am offically creeped out now.

3. Good point, I don't see upside-down/sideways kisses anywhere near as often in real life as on book covers.

7. Bahahaha - gangrosy!

8. Yeah, a little too similar for comfort....is book two going to be, errrrrrr, purple?!

9. What is going on with her hand? Is she wearing gloves, or does she REALLY need some time in the sun?!

12. I like the font, but did someone say ZOMBIE? Don't tease :(

18. You should totally be a script writer.

20. Yah, that's kind of a plot hole right there!

25. The wings are indeed awesome but ever so slightly out of proportion. She is doomed to that chair for eternity.

34. Redesign in the works?

35. Wierd it may be, but I can't help thinking she's showing quite a bit of butt-cleavage there....

39. This series never disappoints. Listen here cover people, DO NOT TOUCH.; August 1, 2013 at 3:43 PM
Jenni said...: I am really curious about this Red Hill book. I ended up actually not minding Beautiful Disaster at all so I may need to give this one a try. Also that one with the creepy bride thingy on the cover, the horror book, THAT IS AWESOME!; August 1, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Christina said...: 1. He does maybe look like a teen. No matter how old he is, I want none.

8. WE SHALL SEE.

9. I think she's just pale.

12. HAHA. You have to read it. LOLOL.

18. Pretty boss, huh?

25. But you need big wings to life a person, right?

34. I hope for this cover, because BLECH.

35. She may have plumber pants in the back, it's true.; August 1, 2013 at 3:51 PM
Christina said...: O_O

WHO ARE YOU.

Also, of course you want the creepy bride one. lol.; August 1, 2013 at 3:51 PM
Anonymous said...: The Lima Bean title will have me giggling forever. There are some really painful ones in this collection. Also, the Anne Leonard book has an interesting conversation going on about a reviewer who gave the book 2 stars just a couple of days after the book was sold. (The author asked but the reviewer doesn't seem to be forthcoming about where she got the manuscript from.); August 1, 2013 at 9:26 PM
Maji Bookshelf said...: hahaha this never fails to make me laugh!!! But I LOVE the US version of Perfect Ruin!! it's soo pretty!! and eww at Secret!! the guy's nipples ARE sticking out!! hahahahahaha! Great post!!
- Farah @ MajiBookshelf; August 2, 2013 at 1:20 AM
Christina said...: There are some quite good ones this week too. Odd about that controversy. So it does appear to be a legitimate review, only no one knows how the reviewer got the book?; August 2, 2013 at 8:37 AM
Christina said...: Yay! Mission accomplished. They sure are.; August 2, 2013 at 8:39 AM
Unknown said...: Nos 5, 15, and 25 are spot on for genre. My favourite is 29, hands down. That's an "atmospheric" cover that makes me want to find out more. As for the Harry Potter covers, they are all fabulous.

...If any of my covers ever make it on your list, I think I'll need a stiff drink... ;); August 2, 2013 at 6:07 PM
Anonymous said...: Yep. I understand the author's concern especially since it looks like the original reviewer may have read a draft sent to a another publisher.; August 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM
Kat Kennedy said...: #38 - I actually made a cover like that as a joke a few weeks ago! Almost exactly the same too. Hilarious!; August 2, 2013 at 11:49 PM
kara-karina@Nocturnal Book Reviews said...: I actually don't care about any of them apart from Sword & Mythos and Cress - both are gorgeous! thanks for topping up my redheads bank as usual, Christina :))); August 3, 2013 at 9:19 AM
Lyn Kaye said...: I always have to put some time aside when I see this hit my mailbox...

2 - *snorts....and adds to wishlist*
19 - It DOES look like Mulan! Also, I can't find this book on Amazon!!
25 - Agreed - Red wings are freak BAD ASS AWESOME.
32 - I laughed the hardest at this!; August 4, 2013 at 11:38 PM

A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

: Name: Christina; Location: Norcross, GA, United States

I am a librarian in my twenties. I got my MLIS at the University of Pittsburgh in 2010, and, through the vagaries of the job market, ended up working at a software company, rather than a librarian. I still very much consider myself to be a librarian, though.

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A Reader of Fictions

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Cover Snark (65): Romancing the Snark

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