January-March 2013 DNFs

One of my goals for my reading in 2013 was to DNF (which stands for did not finish and has since been verbed by bookish folks everywhere) books I'm not enjoying if I don't think that's going to change. Much as I have a reputation for a snarky bitch from at least a few people out there, I really don't like reading books I...don't like. Shocking, that. Even so, I force myself through a lot of review copies because I feel like I owe the book a review, even an unflattering one. Plus, sometimes I just keep hoping the book will get better and it doesn't.

Though I don't review books I haven't finished (that's not a statement on DNF reviews in general, because I've often found them exceedingly helpful), I thought I would do quarterly posts on what I've DNFed and why.

The Red Knight
The Traitor Son Cycle, Book 1

Author: Miles Cameron
Publisher: Katherine Tegen Books
Pages: 672

Why I DNFed:
This book is very well-written and, based on the many glowing reviews, has marvelous world building. Sadly, after 200 pages, I am unable to get into The Red Knight. It's massive, and I don't think the things I'm having problems with will get better.

Basically, this book has minimal characterization and a HUGE cast. I cannot keep the different knights straight in my mind, so I don't know who's doing what. This makes everything really confusing, so I'm giving up.

Pulse
Pulse, Book 1

Author: Patrick Carman
Publisher: Katherine Tegen Books
Pages: 384

Why I DNFed:
The writing and characters did not impress me right off the bat and based on one and two star reviews from so many of the reviewers whose opinions I trust and generally agree with, I got out while the getting was good.

The Memory of Love

Author: Linda Olsson
Publisher: Penguin Books
Pages: 217

Why I DNFed:
Linda Olsson's The Memory of Love is categorized as literary fiction, which, in this case, seems to mean that it's all about Olsson showing how clever she is via sophisticated philosophical ramblings on the nature of love and memory. Unfortunately, the fact that the first 25 pages consisted of nothing but this made the heroine unapproachable and flat. 25 pages may not seem like much, but it's over ten percent of this slim volume.

When I finally got to a bit of plot, the story switched from first person to third, narrating Marion's past with "she did this" and "she did that." I like this even less than the show-offy nature of the beginning.

Fox Forever
Jenna Fox Chronicles, Book 3

Author: Mary E. Pearson
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.
Pages: 304

Why I DNFed:
I really can't remember much about the previous book, and I'm not finding Locke's narration any more engaging. Read some reviews which seem to indicate that the romance and tear-jerking epilogue are the best parts. I skipped ahead to the epilogue to see if it made finishing the book worthwhile for me, and...no.

By all accounts this is better than the second one, which was pretty unfortunate, but I think I'm going to go back to pretending that this isn't a series.

Taken
Taken, Book 1

Author: Erin Bowman
Publisher: HarperTeen
Pages: 352

Why I DNFed:
I started this book on January 11, and I didn't pick it up at all in February. Finally, sick of having it on my currently reading shelf, I picked it up again on March 18, and determined to power through. Well, obviously I wasn't that into it to begin with if I left it alone for a month and a half. It shouldn't take me two months to read a book.

Picking it back up, I was even more bored than before, with no patience for the unnecessary descriptions (two boys are carrying water and either have blisters or callouses - FASCINATING).

Plus, I've read some reviews and it seems like most of the people who have enjoyed Taken liked Gray, and I feel nothing but annoyance for him. From what I've heard he only gets worse, and I'm already feeling stabbity. Engagement with the MC is crucial in first person narratives, and I do not have it.

So I'm marking this DNF, because I don't think it's right for me. I don't care enough to get force myself through it and write a negative review.

Period 8

Author: Chris Crutcher
Publisher: Greenwillow
Pages: 320

Why I DNFed:
This saddens me because I liked Chris Crutcher when I was a teen. I made it a total of 24 pages. In that brief span (though it's almost 10%), I already hate everyone in this book. I hated the MC on page two. I'm pretty sure they're going to be in danger later, and I would be rooting for the psycho killer or whatever.

Why do I hate the MC?

Paulie's on a date with his girlfriend. He tells her he wants to talk, but they make out for a bit first. She's said she's a great listener. Then he tells her he cheated on her. She insists that he take her home "in fucking silence, or I'm walking." He has the audacity to think this: "So much for the world's best listener" (2). To be fair, she didn't listen, but FUCK YOU for being an asshole. There's nothing you can say to make cheating on your girlfriend acceptable and she shouldn't have to listen to that shit. Being honest is a point in his favor, but his snarky comeback in the face of that just pissed me off.

The he goes to meet up with his philandering father at some diner, and his dad talks about why relationships suck.

Then he goes and talks to Logs, the teacher who runs Period 8, where the most slang-using kids in school meet up to talk about things in an offensive manner. Paulie tells Logs about the situation with Hannah, his ex-girlfriend. Logs says he shouldn't have told. FUCK YOU, Mr. Authority Figure. He would have "asked if you thought it might happen again or if you believed you could reign in those impulses from now on." Cheating once is totally okay, so long as you don't do it again! No no no, fuck no. As Paulie leaves this conversation, he remarks that he doesn't want to be like his father. Here's how you don't cheat you asshole: don't put your put your dick in someone who isn't your girlfriend. I know that's hard. (That's what she said.) It's so easy to accidentally screw someone else. Poor guy. Fuck that. Take responsibility for your own life. It's not your dad's fault you're an asshole, it's yours.

THEN they go to Period 8 and Hannah, who of course is there too, tells everyone that shit went down, and Paulie confesses that he told her the truth. At which point every freaking guy there says Psulie shouldn't have told her the truth. What. The. Fuck. I hate these people so much.

I ought to like Hannah at least. She was wronged, right? Well, yes, she was wronged, but then she goes off like this:

"'Can you believe this? Paulie Bomb cheats on his girlfriend, has the huevos to step up, and I'll bet ninety percent of the guys in this room think he's a pussy. Any of you chicks want to go lesbian with me? I mean, I'm liking the guy who cheated on me better than the ones who didn't, and I don't like him at all.'"

Is Crutcher serious with this? I have two main issues with this. 1) I feel like that "want to go lesbian with me?" thing is in seriously poor taste. 2) The language. I swear up a storm frequently. Swearing doesn't generally upset me, but every damn one in this book made me squirm. They don't feel natural; they feel forced, which makes the words not sit right.

Based on reviews, this book will not be getting any better, so I'm sparing myself the experience and am going to remember past Chris Crutcher instead of etching this into my memory.