Cover Snark (38): In Which Series Are Milked for All Possible Money

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Commenting pro tip: The easiest way to comment on such a long post is to open the post in two windows (really easy if you use Google Reader). Comment in one and scroll the covers in the other. That's actually how I comment on other people's reviews too. I can't remember all my comments by the time I get to the box!

This week's going to be a short one, because I've been busy with the holidays.

1. Insatiable (A Mermaid's Curse #1) - Daniele Lanzarotta

 Thoughts: So...the mermaid's curse is that she's a nymphomaniac? Or maybe it's her heavy hand with the blush? Or maybe it's that dress. Or the whole cover she's stuck on.

2.  Gated - Amy Christine Parker

 Thoughts: Meh. My favorite part of this is actually the tag line. I don't think the repetition of the title is really working out for this cover. I know they're trying to make it into a gate, but it's not working for me.

3. Where the Silence Ends - Jade Kerrion

Thoughts: They probably shouldn't have let this cover model eat so many carrots, because she's looking rather orange. Really, though, I think this is a pretty adorable self-pub.

4. Lucifer (Sons of Old Trilogy #1) - Annabell Cadiz

 Thoughts: "Sons of Old"? Okay then. "The line between love and hate. Revenge." Tag line, are you trying to say that revenge is the line between love and hate? Because I don't think so. Or, are you just stating that those two things are covered in this book? None of these cover elements fit together: illustrated winged creature, ginger face, or old creepy gate. Self-pub fail.

 5. The Circle (The Engelsfors Trilogy #1) - Sara B. Elfgren & Mats Strandberg

Thoughts: In a rare turn of events, the US has actually kept the same cover used in other countries. I haven't really seen that happen before. It's okay. *shrugs* Hard for me to get too excited about a bloody wreath with a feather headdress.

6. Valkyrie Symptoms (Valkyrie #0.5) - Ingrid Paulson

Thoughts: HarperTeen Impulse strikes again! This one's better than most, but sure doesn't look like much work went into it. I do like the background, but the floaty knife and ornate swirls below and above the title need to go.

7. Quick Fix (In a Fix #2) - Linda Grimes

 Thoughts: Oh dear. That is not a flattering outfit, at least not at this weird angle. The title font/color really isn't working either.

8. Angelopolis (Angelology #2) - Danielle Trussoni

Thoughts: Is that a Faberge egg? What does that have do with angels? This is lame.

9. Intuition (Transcendence #2) - C.J. Omololu

 Thoughts: Oooh, "past lives make the present a dangerous place." That's interesting. I like this well enough.

10. Shadow Falls: The Beginning (Shadow Falls #1-2) - C.C. Hunter

 Thoughts: I can't decide how I feel about all these omnibuses coming out now. Hmmm. Oh well. I don't like this cover as well as the individual ones, but it does have the feel of the series.

11. The Immortals: The Beginning (The Immortals #1-2) - Alyson Noel

 Thoughts: That cover is gross. It looks like an animated dancing flower. Or maybe like it will grow up to eat humans, preferably the characters in the book, like Audrey 2.

12. House of Night: The Beginning (House of Night #1-2) - P.C. Kast & Kristin Cast

 Thoughts: Is there anything the Casts won't do for money? I mean, this series is already 14 books long or something, with various between the novels bullshit and a crappy graphic novel series. Are omnibuses entirely necessary? No. They're not. Just stop.

13. A Kiss of Blood (Vamp City #2) - Pamela Palmer

 Thoughts: You know what's awesome for fighting? A leather miniskirt. Really allows for a full range of motion, especially if it's tight. There's nothing better for running and kicking.

14. Tarnished - Rhiannon Held

Thoughts: "Urban fantasy takes a walk on the wild side." UGH, get over your self.

15. Red Horse (White Horse #2) - Alex Adams

 Thoughts: I wish they'd stuck to the horse covers, but, from what I hear, there aren't actually horses in White Horse, so this might be fore the best. I like the ruined city, but the floating face with stringy hair is meh.

16. A Dark Grave (The Elysium Chronicles #0.5) - J A Souders

 Thoughts: *snorts*

17. Beauty's Beast (The Trackers #4) - Jenna Kernan

 Thoughts: Is he a birdman? Or are these birds just here to tell us that this is fantasy? BIRDS. "Used to be able to sit out on the stoop like a person."

18. This Wicked Magic (This Witchery #2) - Michele Hauf

 Thoughts: I'm getting more of a "this wicked chandelier" vibe.

19. Magic and Loss (Golgotham #3) - Nancy A. Collins

 Thoughts: Is she holding a blow torch? Is it ON? What is that? I suspect the loss will be her foot, since she's pointing whatever that is at it. Why is the title font orange? Blergh.

20. City of Bones: The Graphic Novel (The Mortal Instruments: Graphic Novel #1) - Mike Raicht

 Thoughts: When one graphic novel is just not enough graphic novels. MOOO! That's the sound of someone milking a cash cow!

21. Delirium Stories: Hana, Annabel, & Raven (Delirium #0.5, 1.5, 2.5) - Lauren Oliver

 Thoughts: I actually like when they package ebooks into physical books, because then I might be able to get the book from the library eventually. The cover is meh.

22. Ex-Heroes (Ex-Heroes #1) - Peter Clines 

Thoughts: This looks fun.I like the raggedy Batman look to the cape and the stance.

23. Pros and Cons (Nikki Glass #2.5) - Jenna Black

Thoughts: Seriously, she must have a lot more trust in tube tops than I do if she's going to go into battle in one. I always feel like they're trying to escape.

24. The Camp - Karice Bolton

Thoughts: It looks like they rolled her tank top up so it would look like a midriff-baring shirt. WEIRD. And, seriously, what is that font?

25. Her Knight in Black Leather - J.M. Stewart

 Thoughts: And people say romance is dead!

26. The Sixteenth Need (Partlow #1) - Celia Read

Thoughts: Needs itemized as follows: 1. Food, 2. Shelter, 3. Good health, 4. Rocking bod, 5. Internet, 6. Cell phone, 7. My cat, Mr. Meowington, 8. Lipstick, 9. Mascara, 10. Eye liner, 11. Bronzer, 12. Gym membership, 13. Tweezers, 14. Car, 15. Best friend, 16. Your hand off my face.

27. The Secret History: A Novel of Empress Theodora - Stephanie Thornton

Thoughts: Pretty! Oh, historical fiction covers.

28. Strikeforce (Skyship Academy #3) - Nick James

 Thoughts: Meh. I've never been a big fan of these covers. The kid on the right looks like he's about to pee his pants.

Cover Battles:

1. A Matter of Blood (The Forgotten Gods #1) - Sarah Pinborough

 UK vs. US: Changing the series name to The Forgotten Gods was a GOOD call. I don't know why the US cover is upside down, but the fly on a pin is not something I ever want to look at. Winner: US.

2. Slayers (Slayers #1) - C.J. Hill

Hardback vs. Paperback: Now that's a good change. The paperback isn't perfect, but it's way more interesting and more appealing for the intended teen audience. I will never understand why she's fighting dragons in high heels and a tiny tube dress, and that dragon could look less hilarious, but whatever. Better than a dragon shaped into a tiny spaceship or whatever's happening on the hardcover. Winner: Paperback.

3. Rebirth (Aftertime #2) - Sophie Littlefield

Hardback vs. Paperback: Neither of these is awful and neither is great. I like the original cover style, though. It had it's own feel and fit the books really well. Plus, the lime green and watermelon red color combo doesn't really sell zombies, even with the barbed wire. Winner: Hardback

4. Horizon (Aftertime #3) - Sophie Littlefield

Hardback vs. Paperback: Apparently, they decided one illustrated bird was not enough, and raised them 10. This looks like it should be about a bird's surfing competition. No. Winner: Hardback

WTF of the Week: 

Wrecked (Clayton Falls #3) - Alyssa Rose Ivy

 Thoughts: Ew, ew, ew. Wrecked is right. These folks definitely win the awkward cover kiss award. Also, he's terrifying: his hair, his face. On top of all that, that title font and could hardly look worse with that backdrop.