Cover Snark (43): Angels of a Feather Flock Together

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Commenting pro tip: The easiest way to comment on such a long post is to open the post in two windows (really easy if you use Google Reader). Comment in one and scroll the covers in the other. That's actually how I comment on other people's reviews too. I can't remember all my comments by the time I get to the box!

Shiny & New:

1. The Year of Shadows - Claire Legrand

Thoughts: NGL, this is a bit of a letdown after the awesomeness of the Cavendish cover, but I do like it. I especially love how grumpy both the girl and her cat are. I probably look that annoyed when someone interrupts my reading or writing too. Also, the creepy house is fantastic, and the stairs are great.

2. Rags & Bones: New Twists on Timeless Tales - Melissa Marr & Tim Pratt, eds.

Thoughts: Me: Okay, but not really doing anything for me. Swan: HONK! Me: Sorry, Swan! At least you're not an ugly duckling!

3. Found (The Crescent Chronicles #3) - Alyssa Rose Ivy

Thoughts: Bahahahaha, mini-wings. You know what they say about a man with small wings, don't you?

4. Red and the Wolf - Laura Lee Nutt

Thoughts: Embracing ever after seems like it would be uncomfortable. Sometimes you really want to not be embracing. Actually, though, I like this, except for standard Fabio-style dude.

5. The King's Lady - Shannan Albright

Thoughts: This really grosses me out. *insert dual wielding or crossing swords joke here*

6. The Bone Season (The Bone Season #1) - Samantha Shannon

Thoughts: Why does Bloomsbury put their name on their covers? This looks like a middle grade, not a YA. I like the colors, but it's not grabbing me, maybe because of the strange way the letters and clock hands are fighting for the foreground?

7. Light in the Shadows (Find You in the Dark #2) - A. Meredith Walters

Thoughts: Why are there so many covers of people kissing like this? Does anyone do this a lot in real life?

8. Eternal (Winterhaven #3) - Kristi Cook

Thoughts: Anyone else think all the covers for this series are monstrously lame?

9. Heart of Obsidian (Psy-Changeling #12) - Nalini Singh

Thoughts: He's striding INTO the burning city? Common sense FAIL.

10. Still Life in Brunswick Stew - Larissa Reinhart

Thoughts: Based on the title, I thought this would look a lot worse. Actually, it's pretty funny, and I love the fonts.

11. Immortally Ever After (Monster M*A*S*H #3) - Angie Fox

Thoughts: This wins for the series name. Also, it uses yellow as a main color and I don't hate it, which is cool.

12. On Every Street (The Artists Trilogy #0.5) - Karina Halle

Thoughts: I don't like this one as much as Karina's other recent covers. It's a little too dark (in color, not subject). Also, I really hope that Ellie/Eden is about to bite Javier's ear off. He deserves that.

13. Forty Days (Neima's Ark #1) - Stephanie Parent

Thoughts: Things I like: the water, the period costumes on the models. Things I don't like: weird red swirly doodads, awkward kiss, poorly photoshopped ark and bird that attract lightning

14. The Red Order (Order of the Seers #2) - Cerece Rennie Murphy

Thoughts: The series name should never ever be larger than the installment's title. This is okay otherwise, but totally generic.

15. Blood Echo - Melissa Simonson

Thoughts: Okay, I actually think this is pretty hilarious and awesome, except that the tag line really upsets me. Obsession is not the same thing as love, people. It's just not.

16. Troubled Daughters, Twisted Wives: Stories of the Trailblazers of Domestic Suspense - Sarah Weinman, ed.

Thoughts: So I totally love the old-timey, self-mocking vibe on this. It's perfect for the content!

17. Crack the Darkest Sky Wide Open - Various Authors

Thoughts: Is the lighter area supposed to look like something? Person: How do I crack the sky open? I can't even jump very high. Birds: CAW.

18. Beautiful Goodbye (Beautiful Series #1) - Chandin Whitten

Thoughts: This goodbye is not actually beautifully. Most things soaked in pepto bismol aren't, actually.

19. Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls: Essays, Etc. - David Sedaris

Thoughts: I liked this until I decided it looked like the owl is sitting on a syringe. Is that necessary?

20. Speak of the Devil - Shawna Romkey

Thoughts: More awful angel wings. What a great day this is. Fantasy carrion birds are circling for the death of good covers.

21. Curtsies & Conspiracies (Finishing School #2) - Gail Carriger

Thoughts: She looks so much like Olivia Wilde! I love the campiness of these covers. I like intentional silliness.

22. Consume (The Clann #3) - Melissa Darnell

Thoughts: Yikes. This needs...something. Or less something. I don't know. But it's not working for me. Just too much red and white.

23. The Stager - Jaidis Shaw

Thoughts: Cover designers, wonky eyes are not your friends. Nor is the mistiness or the crazy font.

24. The Dark Prince (Dark Light #2) - S.L. Jennings

Thoughts: DAMN IT. What did I just say about wonky eyes? NOT COOL.

25. Cold Spell (Fairytale Retellings #4) - Jackson Pearce

Thoughts: Everyone knows that I was NOT PLEASED by the redesign for Jackson Pearce's covers. However, I think the new style works so much better for Cold Spell. The mirror has a lot more meaning and looks less lame than the other floating emblems. Plus, I think the darker color scheme makes the cover less cheesy.

26. The Beast Within (The Elite Series #1) - Jonathan Yanez

Thoughts: Oh. My. Why? More crazy eyes. Also, advice for authors: don't release a pixellated version of your cover. This is what was on the cover reveal post. Bad call.

27. Identity Crisis - Eliza Daly

Thoughts: I know I've seen that girl before, but I can't remember what cover. What's hilarious is that dude. Is that sexy to anyone?

28. The Falconer - Elizabeth May

Thoughts: I like all of the elements of this cover, but it's too much or something. Or maybe it's her facial expression I'm struggling with.

29. Going Under - S. Walden

Thoughts: O_O Oh, it's new adult. Well, that explains it.

30. Relativity (Sage Hannigan Time Warper #2) - Peggy Martinez

Thoughts: I like her style. However, that font needs to go.

31. Allegiance Sworn (The Light Blade #3) - Kylie Griffin

Thoughts: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

32. Saved at Sunrise (Shadow Falls #4.5) - C. C. Hunter

Thoughts: The girl's body really looks photoshopped onto there. So many fantasy birds.

33. Kitty in the Underworld (Kitty Norville #12) - Carrie Vaughn

Thoughts: Kitties!

34. This Wicked Game - Michelle Zink

Thoughts: I like it. The skull on the gate is a nice touch, especially juxtaposed with the flower on the other side.

35. SEAL of Honor (Hornet #1) - Tonya Burrows

Thoughts: More like Abs of Honor.

36. Volition (Perception #2) - Lee Strauss

Thoughts: Snooze.

37. Strange Fates (Nyx Fortuna #1) - Marlene Perez

Thoughts: Oddly enough, I like this! He's not trying to be super sexy and it's kind of funny.

38. Darkness Unmasked (Dark Angels #5) - Keri Arthur

Thoughts: Ew. Those wings. Just STAHP. Also, I question the wisdom of orange font for that green background.

39. The Coldest Girl in Coldtown – Holly Black

Thoughts: Love the font, but this is really the best they could do? A hand on a wallpaper background. Does the hand freak anyone else out? Look at it closely; it's gross.

40. Straight Jacket - Meredith Towbin

Thoughts: Alert the media: I actually like this cover with angel wings on it! AND it's a small press. Of course, the fact that the wings aren't on a person helps, but they also look like real feathers. Oh, and I love the font and the colors a whole lot.

41. Awakening (Tankborn #2) - Karen Sandler

Thoughts: Yes! Another one I love, with the small exception of the hard to read words (Freedom, Humanity, Equality). Look at that gorgeous POC model and that fantastic green font.

42. The Subterranean Strategem (The Extraordinaires #2) - Michael Pryor

Thoughts: This one's pretty too, except for two things: 1) The lock does not look convincing hanging from the titles. 2) The series title is bigger than the book's title.

43. Pretenders - Lisi Harrison

Thoughts: *spends too long trying to figure out what's going on in that text in the background*

44. Don't Kill Dinner (The Rules Trilogy #1) - Jessica Martinez

Thoughts: I like the redhead. The title font is interesting, as well, but otherwise pretty boring.

45. Death, and the Girl He Loves (Darklight #3) - Darynda Jones

Thoughts: Surely if we put kids with backpacks beneath the models, they will look like teens. Surely. We won't even need to shave him. What a good plan.

46. Betrayals of Spring (Forever Fae #2) - L.P. Dover

Thoughts: Did someone bury her in the grass?

47. The Saints (Quarantine #2) - Lex Thomas

Thoughts: Copying Monument 14, are we? I mean, they actually crossed a school bus into a building in that one.

48. Down London Road (On Dublin Street #2) - Samantha Young

Thoughts: "She thinks she knows what she wants until he shows her what she needs." Ew.

49. Trust in Me (Friends and Lovers #3) - Bethany Lopez

Thoughts: More awkward kissing. I also spent a long time figuring out that the skin in the foreground was her hand.

50. Unnatural Creatures: Stories Selected by Neil Gaiman - Neil Gaiman, ed.

Thoughts: The cover in which the publisher tries to trick people into buying an anthology by pretending it's solely written by Neil Gaiman. Fun times!

51. Stay - Jennifer Silverwood

Thoughts: Wow, gorgeous.

52. Road Rage - Jessi Gage

Thoughts: I don't think I can come up with anything nearly as hilarious to say about this as what the blurb already says: "He has anger issues and she has amnesia, but together they have amazing chemistry." This sounds like a recipe for disaster, no?

53. Pitch Perfect (Boys of Summer #1) - Sierra Dean

Thoughts: More candidates for the awkward kissing award, and they're upping the ante with a boob grab. He's just made it to first base and he's heading for second!

54. Marie Antoinette Serial Killer - Katie Alender

Thoughts: Bahaha, this is AWESOME. I love that it's got some classic charm, but also the blood spatter of a zombie novel cover. Add in the punning tag line and I am a happy girl.

55. White Trash Zombie Apocalypse (White Trash Zombie #3) - Diana Rowland

Thoughts: Speaking of zombie blood spatter, this is too much for me. I can't look at it.

Cover Battles:

1. Goddess (Starcrossed #3) - Josephine Angelini

US vs. Italy: Okay, so I don't like the US one much, but the ridiculous pose of the Italian cover is the worst. Winner: US for not having the dead heroine float in the sky.

2. Entwined with You (Crossfire #3) - Sylvia Day

UK vs. US: It's a head to head of perfume bottle versus luggage tags. Much as I wouldn't have thought I would prefer luggage tag cover, I find the perfume bottle upsetting for some reason.

3. Cheating Death - Jen Naumann

 Thoughts: Wow. Neither of them really did much with this stock photo. However, the closeup is much better, because how creepy does the hand look? Seriously, scissor hands. Winner: The Unquiet for better font and cropping. 
The Unquiet by Jeannine Garsee vs. Cheating Death:

4. Tarnish (The Royal Circle #2) - Katherine Longshore

Take 1 vs. Take 2: I do admit that the first version is a bit odd, since the model looks more Catherine of Aragon than Anne Boleyn. However, this is the third redesign for the series already and, for some reason, it looks like Hannah Moskowitz's Teeth. Winner: Take 1.

5. Nailed - Cindy Spencer Pape

Original vs. Redesign: Wow. Well, much as I hate muscle bound man with popping veins, it wins by a lot. Winner: Redesign. Good call.

6. Seraphina (Seraphina #1) - Rachel Hartman
 
Original vs. Redesign: So Seraphina's a middle grade now? That color combo looks so childish. Winner: Original.

WTF of the Week:

1. Betrayal - Stacy Claflin

Thoughts: Yet another designer who is frenemies with Photoshop. I especially love the use of shading. It just all blends so realistically.

2. What Really Happened in Peru (The Bane Chronicles #1) - Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan

Thoughts: They make so much fucking money off of this series, yet the covers still look like utter shit. Really? It's a hand with some magic vapors. Great. Before I saw the author names, I really thought this was a self-pub, especially because of the ridiculous title.

3. A Story of God and All of Us - Roma Downey and Mark Burnett

 Thoughts: The producer of Survivor, the angel from Touched by an Angel, and buddy Jesus would like you to buy this book. What is this book? Well, first there was The Bible. Then they made it into a miniseries. THEN they wrote a novelization of the miniseries. AND FINALLY they made a young readers edition of the adult novelization. So, basically, this is what The Bible would be like if you ran it through a game of telephone.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Marie Antoinette Serial Killer by Katie Alender

Learn More:

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