A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Cover Snark (48): "My Tits Are on Fire"

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Commenting pro tip: The easiest way to comment on such a long post is to open the post in two windows (really easy if you use Google Reader). Comment in one and scroll the covers in the other. That's actually how I comment on other people's reviews too. I can't remember all my comments by the time I get to the box!

Shiny and New:

1. The Real Boy - Anne Ursu

Thoughts: Awwww, middle grade covers, how are you so adorable. Also, the cat on the front left looks like my Perseus.

2. Catalyst - Jennifer Snyder

Thoughts: Her superhero name is FIRE BOOBS. For more info on the title of this post, you can see the scene I'm referencing (SFW) here.

3. iD (The Machine Dynasty #2) - Madeline Ashby

Thoughts: This is creepy as fuck and I kind of love it.

4. The Wicked Within (Gods and Monsters #3) - Kelly Keaton

Thoughts: Mehhhh. This looks like a lot of other covers, and I don't feel like it's doing a great job of it. The snake on the mask should be intimidating, but instead I find it ridiculous.

5. The Silver Sickle - Ellie Ann

Thoughts: I like the individual elements, but I think they could be better integrated.

6. When It's Least Expected (Perfect Timing #1) - Heather Van Fleet

Thoughts: So is this like an "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" novel?

7. The Blue Blazes (Mookie Pearl #1) - Chuck Wendig

Thoughts: Oooh, I like the bright colors and the comic book style. The eyes under the arch ooze menace.

8. Unclean Spirits (Gods & Monsters #1) - Chuck Wendig

Thoughts: Uhhh. This is a bit too much of a dude cover for me. It's not the blood but the dirt that I can't handle.

9. The Marquess of Cake - Heather Hiestand

Thoughts: Okay, this looks like the lamest book ever, most especially because though he's the Marquess of Cakes, he has breads in the background. However, that title just kind of makes me happy.

10. Lost in You - Heidi McLaughlin

Thoughts: I want that dress or skirt. It's so gorgeous I won't even snark on the rest of it.

11. Charming (Pax Arcana #1) - Elliott James

Thoughts: For once I am vaguely entertained by a blurb. I really can't decide if I like this cover or not.

12. Binds - Rebecca Espinoza

Thoughts: I kind of like it, but the circles at the end of the lines make them look a bit too spermy.

13. This Song Will Save Your Life - Leila Sales

Thoughts: Not a huge fan of the title treatment, but I love the heroine's unique style and chunky hipster glasses, which totally fit with her being the type to use those giant headphones.

14 . The Fall of Five (Lorien Legacies #4) - Pittacus Lore

Thoughts: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

15. Afterlife Academy - Jaimie Admans

Thoughts: It's okay, and I like her nose ring, but I'm sort of over covers with roses at the moment.

16. Covet - Tracey Garvis-Graves

Thoughts: This looks like a much prettier version of the Fury Trilogy covers.

17. Dirty Magic (The Prospero's War #1) - Jaye Wells

Thoughts: That lab looks unsafe. Oddly, I am more creeped out by the white hand than by the about to implode chemicals.

18. Even in Darkness (Between #3) - Cyndi Tefft

Thoughts: Mostly this is actually awesome, but where the fuck is her face? Did they lose that bit of fire for the boobs in that other cover?

19. Wings of Nestor (Solus #3) - Devri Walls

Thoughts: Bahahahahahahahaha. Lucius Malfoy, King of the Wereleopards.

20. A Dawn Most Wicked (Something Strange & Deadly novella) - Susan Dennard

Thoughts: Ehhhhh. Impulse is doing a bit better, but I'm still not super impressed.

21. Over My Head (Wildlings #2) - Charles de Lint

Thoughts: Is that a POC, I see? Nice. Might be better if they hadn't gone for the whole floating head look, but oh well.

22. Darkness Rises (Immortal Guardians #4) - Dianne Duvall

Thoughts: Is that the word "rises" over his crotch or his he just happy to see you?

23. A Bit of Bite by Cynthia Eden

Thoughts: It looks like she made that shirt out of leftover material for a Batman suit. I like that she might actually be the beast, though. That's cool.

24. Spartan Frost (Mythos Academy #4.5) - Jennifer Estep

Thoughts: Yup, sure looks like the other books in the series. The sword T is nice. Otherwise, meh.

25. Just for the Summer - Jenna Rutland

Thoughts: Why is it always HIS temptation? And why is he always not remotely tempting when that word is used?

26. Streets of Blood (The Dead Man) - Barry Napier

Thoughts: A sure sign that a franchise needs to die: it has the name both of the series creators and the person still writing the books, even though the creators are over it.

27. Cold Blooded (Jessica McClain #3) - Amanda Carlson

Thoughts: I love the PNR covers for this series. The model is so unique looking and intense. Plus, the font treatments are awesome, though I would get rid of that blurb.

28. Alienated (Alienated #1) - Melissa Anders

Thoughts: I am so torn. Mr. Alien dude in human clothes in space and the really cheesy title font are not working for me, but I love the bottom half. It looks like Castle's daughter hanging out in a Pushing Daisies landscape.

29. Demon Derby - Carrie Harris

Thoughts: Bahahahaha, I can't even. This could have been badass, but it's been so badly photoshopped. SO badly.

30. The Practice Proposal (Suddenly Smitten #1) - Tracy March

Thoughts: Why are there so many books and movies about two people pretending to be a couple and then falling in love? Have any of you ever actually pretended to be in a relationship? How about falling in love with the person you faked feelings for?

31. Unbreakable (Legion #1) - Kami Garcia

Thoughts: Love the colors and the creepiness of the photo of the girl. Not sure about the U though.

32. The Beautiful and the Damned - Jessica Verday

Thoughts: This reminds me of how shows like Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill like to use lofty literary references in their episode titles to seem smarter. Otherwise, STUPID WINGS.

33. Dreamscape (Netherworld #1) - Christie Rich

Thoughts: That tagline basically guarantees that I would want to punch this romance in the face.

34. Last to Rise (Rojan Dizon #3) - Francis Knight

Thoughts: Ahhh, it's the top of the city now! I fucking love these covers.

35. Touch (The Queen of the Dead #2) - Michelle Sagara

Thoughts: No. No, no, no. Nooooooo.

36. Long Live the Queen (The Immortal Empire #3) - Kate Locke

Thoughts: Not a huge fan of these covers. She looks poorly photoshopped and that shade of green does not mix with the purple and orange background one bit.

37. A Spy to Die For (Assassins Guild #2) - Kris DeLake

Thoughts: There's nothing sexier than a man dressed like a Disney character.

38. How to Run with a Naked Werewolf (Naked Werewolf #3) - Molly Harper

Thoughts: Ugg. I'm confused. Is she the werewolf but not actually naked or is that the way to run with a naked werewolf? Naked werewolves require that you run with a puffy jacket, fetlock boots, and no pants. During winter.

39. Pull Down the Night (The Suburban Strange #2) - Nathan Kotecki

Thoughts: Strange is right, but I think I like it.

40. Hell's Hollow - Summer Stone

Thoughts: Pretty, but eh.

41. The Crimson Campaign (The Powder Mage Trilogy #2) - Brian McClellan

Thoughts: That tagline is badass. Probably not a book for me, but I think the covers are awesome in their way.

42. Because of Low/Just for Now/While It Lasts (Sea Breeze #2-4) - Abbi Glines

Thoughts: 50 Shades of Sea Breezes

43. Noble Conflict - Malorie Blackman

Thoughts: American Idiot: The Book?

44. Falling Into You - Jasinda Wilder

Thoughts: Is it just me or does she look like she might be dead of a drug overdose? Those eyes seem glazed.

45. Runes - Ednah Walters

Thoughts: There are so many things wrong with this cover that I'm overwhelmed. Let's just point at the orange lines on his face and move on with our lives.

46. Never Go Back - Lee Child

Thoughts: Wow, I actually think this is pretty. The colors! It does violate the rule of having the author name smaller than the title though. *waggles finger*

47. The Mirk and the Midnight Hour - Jane Nickerson

Thoughts: Gorgeous. Perhaps not the most original, but I love it just the same.

48. All Our Yesterdays - Cristin Terrill

Thoughts: Okay, I'm seriously beginning to wonder what's happening to Bloomsbury's cover design department.

49. True - Erin McCarthy

Thoughts; This cover bores me, but I just have to talk about what I spied in the reveal, which described True as "a virgin-heroine-meets-tattooed-bad-boy book." So basically it's every new adult book ever? *barfs*

50. Rose Under Fire (Code Name Verity) - Elizabeth Wein

Thoughts: Pretty. Sort of old school historical cover. Also, that tagline? Love.

51. The Book of Love (The Secret Sisterhood of Heartbreakers #2) - Lynn Weingarden

Thoughts: This just screams 1970s to me.

52. Erased (Altered #2) - Jennifer Rush

Thoughts: Abs 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Cover Battles:

1. The Rithmatist - Brandon Sanderson

US vs. UK: Awww, man. Yet again, I wish I could have the UK cover. The US one is good too, but those colors! The gold gear border! Winner: UK.

2. Hybrid (The Hybrid Chronicles #1) - Kat Zhang

US vs. Italian: Uhhh, the Italian cover is weird. It looks like she just burped or something. Winner: US.

3. Gregor the Overlander (The Underland Chronicles #1) - Suzanne Collins

Original vs. Redesign: Since HP got redesigned, all of the cool series are doing it! Also, it's a great idea to redesign this, because the original cover's a bit blah and this new one fits the cover perfectly. I do think that the title font from The Hunger Games looks out of place here, though. Winner: Redesign.

4. Prophecy Girl (Angel Academy #1) - Cecily White

Take 1 vs. Take 2: While I do think the first attempt could have been better, this is a backwards step. Let's show less of the unique house and use one of the most popular stock photos. Good choice. Winner: Certainly not Entangled.

5. Iced (Fever #6) - Karen Marie Moning

Hardcover vs. Mass Market Paperback: Of course I think the non-tattooed dude cover is a million times better. Winner: Hardcover for not looking like every cover.

6. Down London Road (On Dublin Street #2) - Samantha Young

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Apparently they zoomed it in so it would look more like the cover for the first book. This is my totally caring face.

7. Monstrous Beauty - Elizabeth Fama

Hardback vs. Paperback: The green skin and weird-looking tail means that I like this rather odd new cover better. However, I do love the font on the hardback cover. So actually I am undecided. Winner: It's a toss up.

8. Fractured (Fractured #1) - Teri Terry

UK vs. US: What did we do to get such a lame cover? The US cover for the first one was pretty similar to the UK ones. What HAPPENED? Winner: UK.

WTF of the Week:

1. Coffee and Cockpits - Jade Hart

Thoughts: You can really almost see her cockpit.

2. Frailties of the Bond - Angela Brown

Thoughts: Silver-haired peacock boy clutches flowers.

3. Hex Hall (Hex Hall #1) - Rachel Hawkins

Thoughts: This wasn't revealed this week, but it was just brought to my attention and I HAD to share the Bulgarian cover of Hex Hall with you, because, holy crap, it looks like a porn flick.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Last to Rise by Francis Knight

Learn More or Preorder:

Goodreads|Amazon|Barnes & Noble|The Book Depository

Labels: Cover Snark

42 Comments:

Tez Miller said...: Bulgarian HEX HALL is complete and utter awful. That chick in the middle is the ultimate in trash-porn.; March 14, 2013 at 6:35 AM
Kimberly @ Midnight Book Girl said...: 2. "I'm so hot" "I make all the girls hot" *grabs hand and puts on boob* "No really, I'm hot" *guy gets burned*

3. I wish I could unsee that bug. Ewwww.

6. I'm so tired of couples in bed covers.

9. It really bothers me that is vest is brown.

13. I don't mind the title treatment. Love love love the headphones.

16. She looks like she has no arms. That's all I see when I look at this cover.

19. Thank you for that. :)

25. I have a serious dislike for all the Bliss covers. Ugh!

28. This is weird and awkward.

30. Yeah this one doesn't work for me either. And it's difficult to make out with a guy wearing a hat because the bill gets in the way. Unless he turns it backwards, but this isn't the 90's so that's a no go too. Unless he is a baseball player. Then it's hot.

42. Lol. I think it's sad that the Fifty Shades covers are actually better.

44. Please, no more make out covers! Make it stop!

46. I really like this as well. It looks kind of creepy.

49. I went and looked at the reveal. So her friends hire someone to help her out of her virginity. How does this not end badly? Yet, I'm 100% sure it will be a happy ever after even though logic says that once the girl finds out the guy is hired she will never forgive him or her friends. But she will because her friends were just trying to "help" her and their heart was in the right place and the guy didn't expect to fall in love with her but he did so that makes his lying forgivable and he's hot so obvious she loves him to.

See, now you don't have to read the book.

CB5. Original cover is a million times better.

CB6. Ugh. This is still a no!

WTF3. Wow. Just wow.; March 14, 2013 at 7:16 AM
Amber (Books of Amber) said...: Yay, I forgot it was Thursday! "My tits are on fire." I can't stop laughing.

3. Well, the cover made me want to read the first book. Damn my cover junkie ways.

5. Yeah, there is far too much going on here. Also that funny curvy blade thing is what Sam Winchester has in the earlier Supernatural promo posters. False advertising!

6. *chuckles*

8. Those creepy eyes in the wall... NOPE.

10. I agree the dress/skirt is cute! It's a shame it looks as though she's about to fall over and ruin it.

12. Sperm or hentai. I can't quite decide. (Now try getting that image out of your head. Haha. Mwahahhahaa)

14. Can people stop with the bugs, it makes me twitchy.

17. I'm more creeped out by the model's expression and pose.

18. OMG this is so pretty! I went to check out the other covers in that series, but unfortunately they were crap. But this one *___*

19. I can't stop laughing. Lucius has a wonderful physique.

20. This looks like one of those teasers that they do before the final cover is revealed. I guess it's only a novella so...

22. I spat out my Pringles.

24. I genuinely thought they had left out the T in 'Frost' because my brain didn't pick up the sword. Oops.

28. That really does look like Alexis. *tilts head*

31. Oh, that was meant to be a U? I thought it was just two random decorative thingys. It's too early for my brain.

37. He does look like a white Aladdin. Or Flynn Rider in leather.

38. Surely that's a bit chilly. Also "She's the leader of the pack... literally." What does this meeeeeean.

41. I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to add this series to my TBR.

42. NOPE.

44. Dead? Those eyes are glazed over with passion!

48. Arthur Pendragon but lives!

50. I haven't read Code Name Verity but I'm sold.

52. I WANT IT. Nick needs a bit of scruff, but I WANT IT.

I loooove the Gregor the Overlander redesign! So awesome. Are they dragons, or giant bats? I don't know but I want one!

Noooo, what did they do to the Iced cover. It was brill before!

Fractured: Hahaha, now you know how we Brits feel when everyone else gets a pretty cover and we're stuck with crappy ones. But seriously, that US cover is awful. *rubs it in*

WTF2: That hair. That. Hair.; March 14, 2013 at 8:30 AM
Ashleigh Paige said...: 28. It's so ridiculous and shmoopy that I love it. I want it. Now.

35. I kinda love these covers for how they use lighting even if this one is being overdramatic. Can I switch the boy out for a dog? Dogs make things better.

42. My automatic reaction to anything Abbi Glines now is flipping the bird at something--usually my computer screen. This is no exception.

50. This exists? This exists? GIMME GIMME NOW.

52. I glance right over his abs and focus on the weird expression on his face. It's an angle-created duckface!

3. Oh God, this cover again. I am seriously disappointed in the Bulgarian designers for this. Way too much fucking sexism and grossness in one cover.; March 14, 2013 at 9:05 AM
Jenni said...: "You can really almost see her cockpit." *dies*; March 14, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Steena said...: No one's said it yet? I'm amazed.

*ahem* No. 51. Well, I guess we now know who wrote the book of love. *ba-dum-tish*; March 14, 2013 at 10:08 AM
Christina said...: No one's said what yet?

Bahahahaha, I guess we do.; March 14, 2013 at 10:09 AM
Gilly said...: HI-larious post!

The great part about the Hex Hall cover, BTW, is that the author totally acknowledges and laughs about it. She'll periodically say something about being "the one who writes bulgarian porn."

Love it!; March 14, 2013 at 11:17 AM
Christina said...: Pretty much. It's funny, though.; March 14, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Christina said...: 2. Men would have trouble resisting that. lol.

3. Bug?

6. Me toooo.

9. For real. That does NOT look good. The tie bothers me too.

13. Much as I love font, and it's cool that all the words are four letters long...no.

16. HAHAHAHAHAHA. You lost your arms in BATTLE.

19. You are welcome.

25. They're so awful! But I keep including them because they almost always amuse me. The worst taglines ever.

30. Ha. He's going to punch her in the face with his hat brim.

42. That is sad.

49. Um. Ew. No. NOOOOOOOOOO. Thanks for saving me.

5. Right? This is so boring and stereotypical!; March 14, 2013 at 11:27 AM
Christina said...: 3. Yeah, I was going to add the first book, but the reviews didn't look all that impressive, so I resisted. If you read it and like it, though, it's happening!

5. The curving blade is a sickle. :-p

8. Oh snap, I didn't see those! *shudders*

10. Bahahaha, hentai. Oh lord.

18. So pretty. But why doesn't she have a face? This bothers me.

20. Ha, yeah. Most of the novellas look like that, sadly. To my mind, if it's not worth a good cover, maybe it's not worth publishing.

22. Fantastic!

24. Hahaha. Spartan Fros!!!!

28. Right? Is it her?

31. It's u. I am sympathetic to morning brain!

37. Flynn Rider?

38. I guess she's the alpha? You can tell she's a strong woman because she doesn't need to wear pants in snow.

44. Nope. It's drugs. Otherwise it's just another boring kissy face book. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.

52. That's Nick? He was the only character I actually liked. Haha.

I think they were bats in Gregor.

I can't get over his peacock butt myself.; March 14, 2013 at 1:25 PM
Christina said...: 28. Hahaha, shmoopy. The book totally sounds great, and I could have sworn the initial description included a reference to Firefly.

35. I would be happier with a dog.

42. Hahahahaha.

50. According to GR, only in Canada.

52. Doesn't look that ducky to me, but it's still odd.; March 14, 2013 at 1:43 PM
Christina said...: You would laugh at that. ;); March 14, 2013 at 1:43 PM
Christina said...: Thanks!

That's the only way you can react to something like that. At least it's funny!; March 14, 2013 at 1:44 PM
Kimberly @ Midnight Book Girl said...: Does that not look like a bug covering her eye? Maybe it's some kind of machine thing or whatever but it looks like a bug. (It should be noted that I had a run in with a bug last night in the hall way so...); March 14, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Christina said...: I think it's a machine thing. But what do I know?; March 14, 2013 at 3:07 PM
Anonymous said...: Whoa. Loved this one!
Things that really stood out to me:

Catalyst -- Ah, have to hold on these mamas dearly now for fear of third degree burns.

Noble Conflict -- Totally stole the grenade from Greenday. Should be sued jk.

Wings of Nestor - Hmm...kind of liking this angle even though it is not Malfoy.

The Book of Love - Definitely looks like it came from the seventies, more like one of those high school projects trying to decrease premarital sex.

Coffee and Cockpits - At least she didn't waste money on that wax...

Frailties of the Bond - Aren't you tired of seeing silver-haired boy? Thought he was supposed to get a break after Losing It.

Thanks for posting!; March 14, 2013 at 5:51 PM
Kayla Beck said...: 9. Why does he have to be a marquess? I find that term to be so confusing. There's a duchess, which is a girl. We also have actress - also female. Marquess should not be a male title! *pounds fist on table* I demand it be changed! *glares*

17. YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!! A NEW JAYE WELLS BOOK! *rushes off to order it despite Burn Bright atrocity ban* Fuck, nevermind. There isn't a pre-order yet. >.<

18. I don't... I can't... *sigh*

22. He also has the large belt buckle aka a tombstone for a dead... Okay, okay, I won't go there.

28. It's a ginger cover, so I'll allow it. I can always ignore that male love-child of Chris O'Donnell and Leonardo DiCaprio at the top.

33. I actually like this cover. It's interesting and different. Or I'm on too much pain medication. *shrugs*

34. My eyes went from the top of the building to the underneathy part, and it made me want to vomit. I am THAT afraid of heights. Ugh, I get vertigo from a stinkin' book. *dies of shame*

41. If you want me to buy a book in a store for full price, it has to look exactly like this. History-looking battle scene plus the word "mage". Oh yeah. *throws all the money at Orbit*

42. Wait, these were porn?

45. Bahahahahahaha!!!! Oh, gawd! *snorts* This reminds me of the early pictures of the girls on America's Next Top Model when they're trying too hard. Evidence

CB7. The new one makes me uncomfortable with the wavey neck, therefore I love it.

WTF1. You just made me snort like a horse! And startle Bookboy!

WTF2. This wins all of the WTFs ever and for always.

WTF3. I LOVE EASTERN EUROPE! *dies laughing* I would like to talk about this with Rachel Hawkins over drinks.; March 14, 2013 at 6:42 PM
Heidi said...: I'm so excited about The Real Boy!! I loved Ursu's Breadcrumbs. And the cat on the right looks like my Phoebe Cats.

Catalyst--yes, her tits are on fire.

I keep wanting to read Chuck Wendig books because of the covers...but then they keep sounding really terrible in reviews.

I totally want that Lost in You skirt/dress too.

I actually do like the cover for This Song Will Save Your Life (including the text).

Even In Darkness--her tits are also on fire, but I'm a fan regardless (though yes, weird facelessness).

Yay PoC! Is the Wildlings series Canada only?

The cover for Just for the Summer looks like an add you'd see in In Flight magazine in the 90s.

Yeah, Alienated looks a bit cheesy, but it's really striking.

I agree on Unbreakable.

OMG THERE'S A NEW NAKED WEREWOLF BOOK?! I didn't know this, yay! Though the cover is HORRID which is disappointing because the other two were super cute illustrated.

I also hadn't seen the cover reveal for The Mirk and Midnight Hour! I don't like it as much as Strands of Bronze and Gold, but it's still pretty.

I'm excited for Rose Under Fire, but really wish they'd kept the style of the original Code Name Verity covers (it's new cover matches this one).

I actually prefer the US version of The Rithmatist...I don't like people on my covers, but I DO like the UK border/color.

I like the Suzanne Collins redesign though, I agree, it needed it.

I don't like the paperback Monstrous Beauty cover at all.; March 14, 2013 at 10:38 PM
Unknown said...: In the event of #6, what the hell are they even laying on? I have a king-sized bed and there is no way for two normal sized people to lay comfortably like that. Either half their bodies would be hanging off the end or the rest of them is unnaturally contoured. Also, who does that anyways?; March 15, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Unknown said...: My favourite post series!
Binds- 'too spermy'. Haha. You should copyright that!
Fall of Five- Bugs?! Srsly. Just ruined an amazing series.
Alienated- I really love this cover. I adore the camera perspective of the field *swoons*
Noble Conflict- I thought exactly the same thing. Green Day lawsuit, anyone?
Yes on the girl-barfind Kat Zhang cover. Seriously, where do they pick all these girls from?!
Cockpit. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA; March 15, 2013 at 9:59 AM
Katie said...: i actually like the Leila Sales cover with the font treatment - but I tend to like big fonts, especially ones that cover up the whole picture; I just think it's a cool look. And I agree about the ALIENATED one: the bottom half is super cool, but the top is kinda cheesy. Still, I think it works all together, I just really wish they'd chosen a different font.; March 15, 2013 at 10:09 AM
Amy said...: 1. I love that cover! I totally agree that Middle Grade covers are usually really cute.

2. Dude!! Her boobs are on fire!! She seems extremely calm about it all. I would be freaking out! Her hair is on fire too. Shame, it's pretty hair.

3. That is a bit creepy. I like it though. I think it's done very well and doesn't look cheesy.

7. I really like that. It looks pretty cool!!

9. Okay, WTF is he wearing. That brown vest under his too short suit jacket just isn't doing it. And he looks like he might be a bit constipated. That is not a seductive face at all.

10. I am totally diggin' those boots!! I think the cover is pretty cute!

11. I am a bit interested in that one. I will have to look into it more. I might have to add it to my tbr list.

12. Hahaha!! I didn't even notice the circles until I read your comment on it. It totally looks a little spermy!! I do like the cover though.

13. I like the cover and I think it's cute how the pink letters spell love. It took me a minute to catch that because I was reading top to bottom instead of left to right.

15. I think the cover is pretty, but I wish the rose and her lipstick color matched. I am weird and it really bothers me that the colors clash since it's the only color on the cover.

16. I love Tracey Garvis Graves and I think that the cover for Covet is very pretty! I am really looking forward to that book!!

18. I really love this cover. I think it's pretty awesome!! I didn't even notice the lack of face.

22. HAHAHAHA!! Oh, that made my day!!

27. I like the cover, but have to agree that the blurb isn't doing it for me.

28. I'm kind of loving that cover. It's not the best, but it's pretty and it sounds like an interesting book.

30. I actually have fake dated someone, but it was only one date. It wasn't an ongoing thing. And I know it's an adult contemporary romance, but the couple looks kinda old. Well, the guy does anyways.

31. That is a pretty cool cover.

32. I think that cover would be okay without the wings, or at least make them like ghosty looking or something, but they just stick out too much.

33. I like her eye makeup. And her nails are pretty awesome too.

34. That cover is awesome! I like it!

38. WTF is going on with that. It looks mighty cold. I mean, fuzzy boots and a puffy jacket won't keep you warm with no pants.

39. I really like how the cover looks a bit drawn, but still kind of photo-ish. I like it.

42. Wait, they changed the covers for that series again? Didn't they just change them like 2 months ago? I don't like those ones.

46. I really like that cover too, but I hate it when the title is smaller than the author.

47. I really like that. It's pretty. Is it just me or when there is light shining through on a cover does it hurt other people's eyes too? I'm weird, I know.

48. That cover is too busy. Individual things about it aren't bad, but it's too much on one cover.

Cover Battles

1. The UK cover is so much more awesome!!

2. I definitely like the US one of What's Left of Me.

4. I liked the original one better, though she is in an awkward position.

5. I think the original one is pretty awesome!!

6. Can I pick neither?

7. The new one is pretty freaking cool, but really, I like the original one before the book came out. That was my favorite.

WTF

1. Ummm, is she about to pleasure herself on the airplane wing?

2. That is some of the worst photoshopping I have ever seen, and what is with the peacock growing out of his pants?

3. That is seriously bad!! OMG!!; March 15, 2013 at 10:35 AM
JoJotheLibrarian said...: 19: Lucius Malfoy (king of the wereleopards finally gets to reveal his story! And possibly more than that... Ew. I've made myself puke.; March 15, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Christina said...: I'm glad!

The Book of Love: I think you've got it!

Coffee and Cockpits: Ah, good point. Wouldn't want that to go to waste.; March 15, 2013 at 12:55 PM
Christina said...: 9. You go back and tell the peerage. I think a Marquess is set to become a Duke or Earl or something, and there's an even crazier term for a lady married to a Marquess. My knowledge of this is fuzzy, since it's been so long since my last romance novel, which is where I learned about British titles. True story.

28. I think the guy looks like what's his face from the Vampire Diaries. Ian Somerhalder!

33. I blame the drugs.

34. Oh, well, the other covers in the series WOULD make you barf. This is the least vertigo-y, I think.

41. This does not look like something I would enjoy, but they obviously have you figured out.

42. I guess? They're NA, I think, so the same?

45. OMG POODLEHEAD.; March 15, 2013 at 1:00 PM
Christina said...: Awwwww, together we could build this cover! Cats for the win! I have an ARC of Breadcrumbs that I failed to read. Maybe I should rectify that.

Oh really? I want to try one of his books someday, but that's worrisome. He seems really awesome as a person, and I want his books to match.

Right? So many fiery tits!

Wildlings does appear to only be in Canada. That is lame.

So...the Naked Werewolf books aren't as terrible as the cover and titles then?

Oh, I like the new CNV cover better. Meh.

I'm in it for the color and the border, not the person. I just love turquoise.

Ha, I can see why people will hate it, but I really didn't care for the original, and the one before that was even worse.; March 15, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Christina said...: Good point. No bed is that large. Maybe they spread the sheet on the floor?; March 15, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Christina said...: Awww, thanks! I'm glad you like it!; March 15, 2013 at 1:06 PM
Christina said...: Ah, glad you like them! But the font on Alienated is def terrible.; March 15, 2013 at 1:13 PM
Christina said...: 2. For real. I would not want my boobs to spontaneously combust.

9. Hahaha, yeah, his outfit would have the fashion police all over him. And, no, he doesn't have a sexy face. He looks a little too much like Pierce Brosnan. Maybe my mom would like this cover.

12. It's not bad... I just don't get the sperm!

13. OMG. I did not notice that they spelled love. I feel dumb.

15. Now that you pointed that out, it really bothers me. Also the hair on her face.

30. What's a fake date like? Also, yeah, they do look old.

32. The wings are super cheesy!

39. It reminds me of the Fantasia Rhapsody in Blue with the buildings.

42. Well, these are the UK.

47. It does kind of hurt if I really stare at it. Not a huge fan of lens flare.

48. Truth. It's really distracting. Just removing the heart would help a lot.

7. That original one was my least favorite. Haha.

1. Maybe?

2. *snorts*; March 15, 2013 at 1:20 PM
Christina said...: Ha, I'm glad you saw this one, since I put two jokes in mostly for you.; March 15, 2013 at 1:20 PM
Kara_Malinczak said...: *rubs hands together* This looks like an exciting week and the title cracks me up!

1. Yes! I will be doing a MG Waiting on Wednesday feature and this is one of the books! Love this cover.

2. LOL at that video!

4. I see this is going to be another week of us disagreeing because I adore this cover!

10. Awwww, I think it's cute! Even the boots!

11. Font looks like the Cinder font!

12. But I have no idea what the hell is going on in this cover!

13. Definitely my favorite cover of the week. I love everything about this one. Even the title treatment. ;)

14. Haha that's kinda cool. Definitely not a cover for those who hate bugs!

18. Agreed! I saw this one and loved it right away! Now there is a fire cover that works!

19. LOL! Oh god no!

22. I just don't like covers with nipples. Pretty much ever.

23. Yeah that top is not flattering at all.

31. I REALLY LOVE THIS ONE TOO. Super creepy girl and I love the colors!

34. Love the covers. I wish they were on a book series I think I would like.

35. Yeah, it's corny. But I'm glad the second book has been announced finally. I loved Silence.

47. Super pretty. Not impressed with the subject matter of this book though so I think I will wait for some reviews before I decide if I'm reading it or not.

49. Yup! NA is a new genre and it's already old and tired. LOL.

I really like the new cover of Monstrous Beauty. That's freaking weird in a good way!; March 15, 2013 at 8:01 PM
kara-karina@Nocturnal Book Reviews said...: Iced. I've just read it this week, and I am pretty angry to have a naked guy on the paperback cover instead of kick ass Danny Mega O'Malley who is only forteen. Plus Iced is about the streets and people iced with a huge monster not about a frozen tatooed dude. Disturbing on so many levels.

This Song Will Save Your Life makes me want to grab this book immediately. Such a fab cover.

Also I died laughing at my boobs are on fire!!! ;))) Have Alicia Keys in my head now...; March 16, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Kayla Beck said...: 9. Titles have always confused me. I guess that was my final nail in the coffin with Prince William.

28. I don't get the Ian Somerhalder vibe from him, but I'm also on an uncooperative tablet and can't see him well.

33. I'm beginning to...

34. Didn't you not like the first one in this series?

41. I think there would be a lot of unhappy readers if the publishing world's art departments catered to me.

45. See what I mean?!; March 17, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Nuzaifa @ Word Contessa said...: 'Cockpit' - Damn,Christina!Almost fell of my chair when I read THAT.; March 17, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Christina said...: 1. Awww, yay. I love MG. The best illustrations.

4. You disagree with me all the time.

10. I don't like cowboy boots at all. Haha.

11. That it does.

14. Forgot about it and scared myself again. True story.

22. Nipples are awkward.

23. Not one bit.

31. YES.

34. Same. *weeps*

47. I didn't read the blurb. Now I have to.

I would not have thought you would like the new Monstrous Beauty. Glad you do though!; March 18, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Christina said...: Ew. I don't like that blurb either.; March 18, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Christina said...: The new cover is so lame. I really do not get it.; March 18, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Rebecca Espinoza said...: 12. Thank you for showing my cover here. It made me laugh and made my day.; March 18, 2013 at 7:43 PM
Christina said...: Thanks!; March 19, 2013 at 10:00 AM
Angela @ Reading Angels said...: 18. DUDE, my blog is on the cover of a book that is on COVER SNARK!!! I'm famous!!! HAHA
Even if Catalyst did steal the face for it's fire boobs!!; March 20, 2013 at 9:30 PM

A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

: Name: Christina; Location: Norcross, GA, United States

I am a librarian in my twenties. I got my MLIS at the University of Pittsburgh in 2010, and, through the vagaries of the job market, ended up working at a software company, rather than a librarian. I still very much consider myself to be a librarian, though.

View my complete profile

Subscribe to
Posts [Atom]

This Page

A Reader of Fictions

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Cover Snark (48): "My Tits Are on Fire"

42 Comments:

Post a Comment

A Reader of Fictions

About Me

Previous Posts