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A Reader of Fictions: Cover Snark (67): The One Where I Start Naming Cover Snark Like Friends Episodes

A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Cover Snark (67): The One Where I Start Naming Cover Snark Like Friends Episodes


Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Ignite Me (Shatter Me #3) - Tahereh Mafi
Thoughts: I will, grudgingly, grant you that this cover is well done, however, if I read this series and Juliette is not one of the following I'm calling bullshit on these covers: 1) a cyclops, 2) a giant floating eye, or 3) a person with eyelashes made of nature which changes with the seasons.

2. Hard Luck (Diary of a Wimpy Kid #8) - Jeff Kinney
Thoughts: So this is about Magic 8 Balls and horseshoes? Okay then. Also, much as I love the lime green background, the orange Wimpy Kid font looks horrid with it.

3. Be My Downfall (Whitman University #3) - Lyla Payne
Thoughts: Her lips look chapped. Dang winter. On the plus side, how often do NA covers feature clothing, let alone THIS MUCH clothing. Winter-appropriate apparel is rare. Usually it's more like THIS.

4. Running on Empty - Colette Ballard
Thoughts: I see London, I see France, I see that girl's underpants!

5. The Transfer (Divergent #0.1) - Veronica Roth
Thoughts: Somehow that's just not how I pictured the train the Divergents ride. However, that totally makes jumping out more ballsy/stupid. Ferris Wheel Train of DOOOOOOM.

6. The Invention of Wings - Sue Monk Kidd
Thoughts: Birds: "Thanks for inventing these! They're super handy - errrr, wingy."

7. Wicked Thing - Angelina Kace
Thoughts: She's such a wicked duck.

8. Screaming at the Ump - Audrey Vernick
Thoughts: This kid's really going full out Shawshank on this screaming.

9. Wings of Lomay (Solus #4) - Devri Walls
Thoughts: So this is what happened to Viserys Targaryen after GRR killed him off. If you can't be dragon king, might as well join a splash-fighting team.

10. Ultraviolet Catastrophe - Jamie Grey
Thoughts: Well, the title sort of says it all doesn't it. Even the girl's expression is saying "the fuck is this." It's a bad sign when I don't even want the dress on a pretty dress cover.

11. Wavecrossed - Andrea Colt
Thoughts: You know what cover trend I do not heart? Random objects forming a heart to indicate romancey feelings. OVERDONE. The only minor plus of this one is it looks vaguely Celtic.

12. The Rise of the Hotel Dumort (The Bane Chronicles #5) - Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson
Thoughts: His earrings look like they're out of a bedazzling kit or something. Where are the priceless jewels? Also, fake eyes that may be about to spontaneously combust. And greasy hair. AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE?

13. Nothing Serious - Jay Northcote
Thoughts: Actually, sir, your thumb sucking habit is rather serious and it's about time you dealt with it.

14. The Geography of You and Me - Jennifer E. Smith
Thoughts: "We got the afternoon / You got this room for two / One thing I've left to do / Discover me / Discovering you...  / Your body is a wonderland" Now that that's done with, look at the cuteness. This cover is just the right amount of cheesy.

15. Teaching Roman (Good Girls Don't #2) - Sophia Bleu
Thoughts: I have taken an immediate dislike to both of their faces. Whose professor looked like that? Seriously, whose? Maybe if he was an acting prof (*cough* Garrick *cough*), but this guy's in communications.

16. The Scribe (Irin Chronicles #1) - Elizabeth Hunter
Thoughts: You know how I feel about naked dude covers, but that's actually pretty awesome. Also, it reminds me of a thing in Froi of the Exiles, so that's made of win. But, seriously, Elizabeth Hunter has the best self-pub covers. Look at how hi-res and detailed that is!

17. Four Weddings and a Fireman (The Bachelor Firemen of San Gabriel #5) - Jennifer Bernard
Thoughts: Of course there's a series about bachelor firemen. This shouldn't even surprise me. What also surprises me is that I like that wedding dress. But lol at that title. REFERENCED.

18. Going Over - Beth Kephart
Thoughts: Was bored by this until I read the blurb and realized it was about the Berlin Wall, so now this is awesome.

19. A World Without Princes (The School for Good and Evil #2) - Soman Chainani
Thoughts: For serious, publishers, why do you let Entertainment Weekly do this? Do they design the covers for you in the reveal process? They fucking better, since this will forever be the top image if you Google search. It's THEIR cover now. What's the red thing at the bottom?? Water? Is the river made of blood? Are we going biblical?

20. The Summer I Wasn't Me - Jessica Verdi
Thoughts: I want to pretend that this is going to be a classic body swap tale. Something tells me it's not, but I'm just going to ignore that and assume it's a more intense "Help! I'm Stuck in My ___'s Body" sort of thing.

21. Shadows of Asphodel - Karen Kincy
Thoughts: I'm just going to pretend that the reason he has two dark trails under his nose is that he got a classic anime nosebleed from all the skin she's showing.

22. The Impossible Knife of Memory - Laurie Halse Anderson
Thoughts: Typewriter font. That's a blast from the past. Heroine clearly needs more survival skills, since she is standing in a stupid place.

23. Breaking Nova (Nova #1) - Jessica Sorensen
Thoughts: BORED NOW.

24. Misbehaving (Sea Breeze 6) - Abbi Glines
Thoughts: UGH. The one thing I like is that the model looks healthy and curvy. So yay for that at least.

25. Odin's Murder - Angel Lawson & Kira A. Gold
Thoughts: CHARM BRACELET OF WOE AND KEENING.

26. Texture of Intimacy (Psy/Changeling Novella) - Nalini Singh
Thoughts: SO CREEPY. The TEXTURE of intimacy, while naked dude pushes his privates up against a wolf. No, bestiality cover, no. That also seems like a good way to get your junk bit off.

27. Declaration of Courtship (Psy/Changeling Novella) - Nalini Singh
Thoughts: You may not speak wolf, but that wolf is howling "RAAAAAAAPE."

28. Wicked After Midnight (Blud #3) - Delilah S. Dawson
Thoughts: I WANT THOSE GLOVES AND TIGHTS. Otherwise, lol at her little neck ruff thing and his guyliner. Can anyone explain Blud? Because WHUT.

29. Reflected (Silver #3) - Rhiannon Held
Thoughts: More howling. I feel like the photoshopping could have been better done here. It looks really fake.

30. The Chronicle of Secret Riven (The Keeper of Tales Trilogy #2) - Ronlyn Domingue
Thoughts: Fantastic.

31. Lady Thief (Scarlet #2) - A. C. Gaughen
Thoughts: What do I have to sacrifice to get an ARC of this? I will do it. Also, the cover is so pretteh.

32. Greed (Seven Deadly #2) - Fisher Amelie
Thoughts: You know, it's even worse when they're half-naked with their heads cut off. Might as well call them a butterface, put a bag on their head and be done with it. More importantly, HORSES.

33. Kissing in Italian (Flirting in Italian #2) - Lauren Henderson
Thoughts: Looks more like they're kissing in French. Ba-dum-tish.

34. The Gate (Dark Path Series #1) - KT Grant
Thoughts: Worst sadist ever. "I'm just going to chain you up by your stiletto heels so you can't escape while I go get a burger so I can eat it in front of you. MWAHAHA." *comes back* "Damn, I forgot shoes came off." Girl yells from off camera: "Didn't even have to take them off to get away, dumbass! Would have taken the shoes, but this way I could move silently and also steal the burger. Take that!"

35. Loving Cara - Kristen Proby
Thoughts: Romance novel covers with just a dude or lady and an animal of the non-human variety send the wrong message.

36. Rising - Holly Kelly
Thoughts: HIS BODY IS READY. Also, lol, mermen. Am I the only one who ALWAYS finds them hilarious looking?

Cover Battles:

1. By Referral Only (Whitman University #2) - Lyla Payne
 
Original vs. Redesign: Much as I hate to go with the kissy cover, I do think it's more interesting than just the face. Plus, there is a scene where something like this happens. However, what's with all the dudes with earrings this week?

2. Blythewood - Carol Goodman
Take 1 vs. Take 2: Sigh. Neither of these is great. The new font is horrid, but I'm glad the chain is gone, since that made it look like the fifth installment in Jackson Pearce's Fairytale Retellings series

3. The Assassin and the Pirate Lord (Throne of Glass Novella #0.1) - Sarah J. Maas
Original vs. Redesign: Was looking on Amazon and found that they'd changed these to match. I really don't have much to say. Both are cool. *shrugs*

4. The Assassin and the Desert (Throne of Glass Novella #0.2) - Sarah J. Maas
Original vs. Redesign: La la la, I like how they kept the colors consistent.

5. The Assassin and the Underworld (Throne of Glass Novella #0.3) - Sarah J. Maas
Original vs. Redesign: Still really don't know which I like better. Sort of thinking the originals, but they don't match the series so hmmm.

6. The Assassin and the Empire (Throne of Glass Novella #0.4) - Sarah J. Maas
Original vs. Redesign: Gah, snarking things like this is impossible, but I wanted to share, so there you go. THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU PEOPLE.

7. The Sweet Dead Life - Joy Preble
Hardcover vs. Paperback: Burn the paperback with fire! Cowboy boots plus a feather plus a halo = HELL TO THE NO. (I made a religious joke.) Irreverent wings on grave by a mile.

8. Hang Wire - Adam Christopher
Paperback vs. Special Edition Hardback: This dude gets the coolest covers.

9. Jump (Twinmakers #1) - Sean Williams
US vs. Australia: Dear Allen and Unwin, there's a slightly larger version of this cover that is not final making its way around the internet, because THIS is the largest version of the actual cover. Do something about that, will you? Anyway, I prefer the Australian cover to the US cover, which stars the child of David Bowie and Andy Warhol.

10. Requiem (Delirium #3) - Lauren Oliver
US vs. UK Hardback vs. UK Paperback: All of the points go to the UK Hardback, because the US cover sucks and the UK paperback calls Requiem the next Hunger Games, which lol no.

11. Arcadia Falls (Arkadien #3) by Kai Meyer
Germany vs. US: German cover, why must you be creepy and suggest snake bondage? Ahhhhhh.

12. Circle of Death (A Damask Circle #2) - Keri Arthur
Imajin vs. Piatkus vs. Hachette: It's taken 10 years for the cover to get this good. In another ten, I might actually like the cover.

13. Vain (Seven Deadly #1) - Fisher Amelie
Original vs. Redesign 1 vs. Redesign 2: I'm honestly not sure which of those two older ones came first but whatever. I'm assuming that one on the left because it blows. I loathe the outfit on the new cover, but I guess it's better than having a series of face covers? I don't know.


WTF of the Week: 
WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I've found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of "Dear God, what is that thing?" If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to cynicalsapphire@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. The Lost Trucker (Trucker Saga #1) - Rose Dewallvin
Thoughts: How bad are you? Pretty damn bad.

2. Sins of the Lost (Grigori Legacy #3)- Linda Poitevin
Thoughts: Cover Snark is never complete without some horribly photoshopped angel wings.

3. Blind Date Teddy Bear (Her Teddy Bear #1) - Mimi Strong
Thoughts: *scrubs eyeballs*
 

Outstanding Cover of the Week:
Hang Wire by Adam Christopher

The regular paperback cover is a close runner up, but the special edition in red just pops that much more. Not sure where you can buy the special edition, so I'm linking to the paperback.

Learn More or Preorder:

Labels:

46 Comments:

Blogger KB/KT Grant said...

My life is complete! Two of my book covers have been snarked here! *runs around in circles and falls to the ground with a smile on my face*

Now I shall add a BDSM burger eating scene straight out of 9 1/2 Weeks.

August 15, 2013 at 6:28 AM  
Blogger GillyB said...

1. These covers are gorgeous, but you are right in saying they have NOTHING to do with the series.

2. I KNEW you were going to link to the stupid Frigid cover!

8. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XtsGwNS49HY/UZMrzMDqfSI/AAAAAAAACDU/blZdrSCoehs/s1600/zac+efron+1-6.gif

10. Ultraviolet catastrophe. Yep. Nail on the head.

16. I had nooo idea that was self-pub! I is impressed.

17. HILARITY. OMG "A Bachelor Fireman novel." THERE ARE MORE OF THEM.

19. I think Sophie looks really weird on this cover.

21. Why is Snape holding his knife like that?

25. *wants bracelet*

26. THE TEXTURE OF INTIMACY BETTER NOT BE FUR OMGGG

31. I will sacrifice all the raped wolves in the land for this.

35. I know, right? WHO, exactly, is Cara?

36. Lolololllll

"DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING" Has that always been in the disclaimer? Have my eyes REALLY been gliding right past a Princess Bride reference for WEEKS? I HAS A SHAME. And you has a brilliance.

WTF3. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T EVEN FIND WORDS BECAUSE BAHAHAHAHAHA "An erotic romance novelette!" "Blind date teddy bear!" "HER Teddy Bear" "#1, meaning there will be MORE OF THEM!" His EXCEPTIONALLY AWKWARD NIPPLES! "TEDDY BEAR!"

New favorite.

August 15, 2013 at 7:29 AM  
Blogger Alessandra said...

A book about the Berlin Wall? Give it to me. Too bad it only comes out in April 2014.

That teddy bear cover? Argh.

August 15, 2013 at 8:00 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Woo! I like that some authors enjoy this experience. :-p

I've never seen 9 1/2 Weeks. Is that a thing?

August 15, 2013 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. I call shenanigans!

2. BOOM BABY.

8. Nice! What is that from?

10. It's so nice when the title or tagline does my work for me.

16. RIGHT?

17. THERE ARE LIKE FIVE.

19. Sophie does look strange. It must be the evil.

21. He does look a bit like Snape. I almost went there but decided against it.

26. CREEPY.

31. Like the wolves haven't had enough bad things happen to them.

I only made a disclaimer last week, because I get questions about how I choose them. So you're not THAT bad.

BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

August 15, 2013 at 8:54 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

This is the sad thing about cover reveals.

August 15, 2013 at 8:54 AM  
Blogger kara-karina@Nocturnal Book Reviews said...

Thanks, Christina! teddy bear scarred me for life. Yuck.

August 15, 2013 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

You are welcome! I love to share the wealth and eye-bleach.

August 15, 2013 at 9:00 AM  
Blogger Terri S. said...

HA I loved your snark today. Well done.

For #1 Ignite Me, do these covers have anything to do with the series? I hated Shatter Me so I stopped reading the series, and even though they're pretty, I like covers to relate in some way, even I don't get until I've read the book.

LOL Ferris Wheel of Doom! Cracked me up!

August 15, 2013 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. Not from what an earlier commenter told me. Stupid eye is stupid. I wouldn't care if it was just the nature, but WHY AN EYE?

August 15, 2013 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger meg said...

I had thoughts and reactions to most of cover snark but thanks to the furry man chesticles at the end, my brain has requested a reboot and will be back with us shortly.

August 15, 2013 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Hahahaha, it's so gross, right? BLEH.

August 15, 2013 at 9:34 AM  
Blogger Luisa Freiheit said...

I rarely comment on blogs, but I just HAD to say this: I read every Cover Snark post and you make me laught out loud every single time!

August 15, 2013 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Awwww, thanks so much! Glad to hear it, since a lot of time goes into these posts. :-D

August 15, 2013 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger Christine D. said...

This post has reminded me how I must start Ronlyn Domingue's trilogy! I have enough time to read the first one!

Also...OMG. I had no idea how illogical the cover of Frigid is. WTF. Bare chest exposed in snow!? I guess pneumonia does not exist.

Thanks for the great laughs. These posts would be perfect to read on Monday mornings when you are pissed about work/school. LOL. I shall save this gem for then next time.

August 15, 2013 at 10:11 AM  
OpenID italicbooks said...

22. So I could do without the typewriter font, but yay! A new Laurie Halse Anderson book.
30. I like this one a lot!
33. Hahaha, "kissing in French".
WTF 3. No. To everything about this cover.

August 15, 2013 at 10:13 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Ever since Renae's review, I've wanted to read Domingue's book, but I haven't had time!

Maybe he's a vampire and doesn't feel cold. Or an elf.

August 15, 2013 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. The cover doesn't wow me, but I do want that book!

August 15, 2013 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Lori said...

I think I laughed more during this cover snark than I have in a long time. 26 and 27 especially got to me. And that last one has scarred me for life. So thanks for that! Can't wait till next week. :-)

August 15, 2013 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger Ashleigh Paige said...

1. I wish the seasons did MY makeup.

3. If someone calls this book a heartstopper, I will die. (That line splitting the title reminds me of how heartbeats are displayed on hospital machines.)

7. ...What's wrong with her eyebrows?

11. That's supposed to be a heart? It looks more like an abstract dress! There are the boobies and some really wide hips...

19. I have nothing other than PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I really need to get to my copy of The School for Good and Evil soon.

23. *flips off book/author on principle* You know why I hate her and her stuff, so I won't even bother with the usual rant. :P

26. That wolf totally has a creeper smile. "Why hello there..." I'm going to replace the image of Pedobear in my mind with Pedowolf here.

Wow, I had so little to say this week! Surprising.

August 15, 2013 at 11:26 AM  
Blogger KB/KT Grant said...

9 1/2 Weeks is one of the best soft pron of the 80's back when Mickey Rourke was hot!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091635/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

August 15, 2013 at 11:29 AM  
Blogger Kristin A. said...

I really need to remember to check these out more often. Thanks for making me laugh so much I needed that.

August 15, 2013 at 12:02 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

1. Ohhh I think that's really pretty.

3. I totally agree with the whole rare clothing thing on NA covers. Silver Heart is another one where they are wearing winter clothes and I like it.

4. Lol!!

5. I totally didn't know that was a train until I read this. I was like WTF is that? haha!!

14. That cover is so freaking cute!! I really like it!!

16. I like backs. I don't like naked fronts, but backs are okay with me. I love the writing and the scenery of this too. I think it's very cool!

19. I love it!! The Entertainment Weekly thing does annoy me, but besides that, I think this cover is fantastic!!

22. Why is she barefoot on the ice? That is ice right? My feet are cold just thinking about it.

30. What a great cover!!

31. She looks pretty creepy with her hood and the knife. I like the colors.

36. The sharks are coming to eat him!! *nom nom*

CB

3,4,5, and 6. I like the redesigns, but the originals were good too.

8. Both of those are awesome!

9. The Australian one is definitely cooler.

13. That is a weird outfit, but I like the newest one best.

WTF

3. Why?!!! Who thinks that a cover like that is sexy?






August 15, 2013 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger Natalie Natflixandbooks said...

3, 7, 15, 23, 24: God, NA covers are SO boring. I cannot even comprehend how they have the type of market that they do. Absolutely none of these makes me even slightly interested in reading it.

8. If only it were raining.

22. Not a smart place to stand, but I like it.

26. The Texture of Intimacy. I think I just threw up a little bit.

WTF 3: Why, Christina, Why?

August 15, 2013 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger Shelver506 said...

1. It's pretty, but I'm beyond disappointed that there's no fire. I called the title long before it was released, BUT I WANT FLAMES DAGNABIT!

5. Why is the horizon crooked? *twitches* *straightens*

7. He looks like Robert Pattinson... and has a pearl earring? Ick.

16. I hope he actually does have pants so he can pull them up.

18. !!! My first thought when I looked at it was "Berlin Wall?" so cover win!

19. There is just too freaking much going on here.

21. I like her gloves... Aaaaaand that's about it.

24. I can imagine her gripping his scalp at the shoot and hissing, "Don't drop meeeeee." Seriously, I'd feel unbalanced up there.

28. Where's his neck? Also, thanks to the series title, now I keep muttering, "Blud. Blud! Not funnyyyy!" (Ref: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fVDGu82FeQ )

WTF3. EWWWWWW!! Why would you do that to us?!

August 15, 2013 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger Hannah said...

I'm not even gonna bother to individually comment. Just HA. HA. HA. I love it.
<333 Inky

August 15, 2013 at 1:25 PM  
Blogger Kat Balcombe said...

Man I'm glad today is Thursday, I need to unleash some pent up grumpiness

1) The covers for this series are pretty, but the more you think about it, the more painful they seem.

3) Why is she holding a piece of her own hair? Or is it just me that thinks that is wierd?

4) At least she's wearing underpants. Otherwise we'd be staring at her builders.

5) 'We're on a train to nowhere...'

6) They could have at least put in an island or something!

7) What happened to her eyebrows? BBQ accident?

8) This was me today. On the inside.

10) Now I love purple, but this is just taking the piss. And it looks like someone threw a handful of sand at her shoulder.

14) All of her covers are SO CUTE (said in high-pitched voice).

15) Is her hair trapped in a door?

16) Now that is awesome.

17) I was once engaged to a fireman. He was NEVER allowed to not wear a shirt under his fireman pants.

22) She's gonna die for sure. Not a genius.

23) Oh look, its like EVERY OTHER NA COVER.

24) I'm kinda disturbed that he appears to have not a single hair on his body apart from his forearms.

32) Maybe butterfaces are cheaper!

CB7) Whyyyyyyyyyyy God Whyyyyyyyyy (my own lame attempt at religious reference).

WTF3. He's going to have back hair. Not a doubt about it.

August 15, 2013 at 1:36 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Her Teddy Bear? *pours salt water solution in eyeballs* and I'm reminded to shave my legs.

August 15, 2013 at 2:51 PM  
Blogger Bonnie R said...

1. Man, if I had flowers floating around my eyeballs I would have the worst allergies.
4. Seriously? Her underwear? They couldn't have photoshopped that out or... done a reshoot?
7. That girl has some seriously scary looking eyebrows. And I love how they made sure to include his super flashy cubic zirconia earring.
19. I’m really getting sick of the Entertainment Weekly cover releases too. What gives them the right to slap their stamp on it?
21. And shoes. She needs shoes and survival skills.
28. Dude looks like he’s trying to be Cornelius Fudge with his little bowler hat.
30. That really is a fabulous book cover. Just wish I liked the books themselves more.
31. I love that vine-ish overlay they did. Gah, why have I not read Scarlet?

Cover Battles
2. That necklace looked like it came out of a gumball machine so yes, I’m glad that’s gone. It’s still… lacking though.
7. Those are some hideous shoes. Not a fan of the pink wings on the gravestone either though (because seriously? What does that even mean?)

WTF
3. AHHH!!! Brain bleach please.

August 15, 2013 at 3:19 PM  
Blogger Judith said...

1. You mean your eyelashes DON'T change with the seasons? *pities you* (for real though, I am in love with these covers because they're so prettyyyyy!)

3. Hang on, is he wearing a SHIRT under that jacket?! Do guys actually DO that?! *is confused*

6. *snorts*

7. "Let's take a picture and look all DANGEROUS! But please, don't forget to wear your pearl earring."

9. But who has the best hair, that is the question.

10. HALP. It's the apocalypse and it's PURPLE. RUN!

12. The only way I'll like these covers is if they really do form one big poster in the end. Or no, not even then.

13. Nothing interesting, either. *yawns*

14. THANKS FOR GETTING THAT SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD, CHRISTINA! I WAS SO OVER MY JOHN MAYER PHASE. Anyway, it's adorable, but my least favorite of her three book covers. Somehow it also REALLY annoys me that the lines on either side of the AND go in different directions... *cough* OCD *cough*

16. This is a self-pub?!?! *applauds cover*

17. I'm surprised this isn't a WTF, because that was my first reaction. Also, I bet this fireman doesn't wear a shirt under his jacket.

19. I don't like this as much as the first book, but according to the title we're getting rid of Tedros? WOOO!

23. Taylor Lautner after Twilight. Edit: IT'S CALLED BREAKING NOVA. That makes my comment even more awesome.

27. Bahahahaha. Poor wolf.

31. This is pretty awesome! I need to read this series, y/y?

32. He's about to get trampled because he didn't see the horses coming. See, that's what you get when you don't have a head.

33. LOOOOOL.

36. 1) Does he have feet behind his tail? What a terrible actor. 2) I think he looks a bit like Tyler Hoechlin.

Cover change:

Throne of Glass novellas: I like both but I THINK I prefer the first. However, there's going to be a bind-up of these SO I'm excited to see what that looks like!

8. AHHHHHHH THE PRETTEH! I WANTS IT! For real, this is my kind of cover!

WTF 3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Hahahahahahahahaha.

August 15, 2013 at 3:23 PM  
OpenID ablightedone said...

Oh gosh, that Teddy Bear cover is the creepiest thing. Ewwwwww! And the merman, how to tattoos work in water? do they have special ink? Do they go above water?

And Lady Thief! I have been wanting to read Scarlet for so long and keep forgetting, I think I might pick it up at the library today!

August 15, 2013 at 3:32 PM  
Blogger Christina @ Christina Reads YA said...

1. Omg a cyclops. Did you look at the cover for Love in the Time of Global Warming? There's a CREEPY EYE IN THE SEA BENEATH THE TITLE. Just thought I'd mention that since y'know, you're reading that one. Also this cover, no matter pretty, will always freak me out.

2. True. Though when I posted the cover reveals, I realized that it was the first one I noticed because of the lime green background. Dilute it and it's less noticeable, even if it works with the orange title better.

3. My lips are always chapped. AND YES. I actually really adore the winter clothing (don't need to be shirtless to appreciate his good looks!). The pose here is so much sweeter than the rest I've seen. If it weren't for the title and the lack of luck I have with NA titles, I would definitely pick this one up.

4. Lol. What freaks me out a bit - what I notice more than the underpants - are the protruding bones on the thin slip of skin showing there. o.O. Maybe they're muscles, I don't know. Either way.

5. BAHAHAAH until you mentioned the trains, I'd thought this cover was a FRIENDSHIP BRACELET. You know, the ones from middle school times? And I knew it made no sense so I mostly ignored the cover... but hey, if Divergent ever does become super popular and get its own theme park, that could be the Ferris Wheel Train of Doom o.O. At least this one's better than the UK cover though, with the random wings and bland red.

7. LOL WHAT. How do you think of these things? I'm thinking that it's weird how focused both of their stares are and you're thinking of the duck? (Also random earring from dude. Looks kind of like a flower o.O.).

8. Hey, if he's got the Shawshank look, that book could be very epic.

9. Oh woah. The resemblance. She reminds me of someone too, but in general, don't their body proportions look a bit strange to you? But I suppose that's what can happen when you're given a crown of gold.

12. Hey, they were trying to listen to you. You didn't want hands anymore! So they gave you cat eyes with weird firework-y glaze and fake looking earrings and stiff hair.

14. SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS ONE. and how it matches the rest.

15. Damn. I wish my professors were that hot. Actually, most of the hot ones were in non-science things, so I could believe that of communications :P. Also, she's got a Tyra hair flip going on that I'm really liking/wanting.

16. That's a self-pub? IT'S FUCKING GORGEOUS. Probably my favorite so far. Tied with Jennifer E. Smith's. And the color! Yes.

18. Agreed. Thank you for mentioning that little blurb.

19. Didn't read the first book but man, the girl on the right's got a very sassy look in her eyes.

22. I LOVE typewriter font. Need to catch up on LHA's work. Also, the blue of this cover and the faded black? Total win, even if that's a stupid spot for the heroine :P.

26. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE WEIRD COVERS. Sarah J. Maas mentioned her as an awesome author whose work we should read and when someone looked up some of her titles and showed them to us... *sigh*

also, did you watch the latest TB episode again? Another reminder. You are good at having your blurbs remind me of them lolol.

28. Now she is curvy and awesome.

30. I love the texture. You don't get a lot of that grit on other covers without it feeling off.

31. YES EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. Though I did hear the cover may change? I hope not. It's beautiful, especially that robe and the colors.

34. You should write a book about that lol :). The Art of Stealing a Burger.

36. No, but points for trying to depict a mermen.

CB3-6: D'aww. Thanks, Christina. It's funny - I thought you'd snark on the random crystals in the previous covers.

CB8. Agreed. I like how they also put the genre and three of his previous works. Both colors work too.

WTF2: This reminds me of Godric meeting the sun in TB. I nearly laughed when I saw that.

WTF3. I am so confused.

August 15, 2013 at 3:59 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I freaking adore this feature but I really should stop reading it at work. I burst out laughing at the most inopportune moments.

1. I love the looks of these covers but I don't see how they have anything to do with the books.

3. Yay for clothes on a NA cover!

4. Hasn't that image been used for another YA cover? I know it was, I just can't think of the book.

7. Is it just me or does the guy look a lot like Robert Pattinson?

12. I don't find him attractive either.

14. Love!

19. Hate the EW logo but I really like this cover.

22. Not only is she standing in a stupid place, she's also not wearing any shoes. On ice. That's smart...

26 and 27. Just no.

36. He looks so funny!

WTF3. Why did I have to look?

Fabulous, as always!

Katie @ Katie’s Book Blog

August 15, 2013 at 9:09 PM  
Blogger Kimberly @ On the Wings of Books said...

1. I don't like any of these covers and I don't like this one most of all. Orange and I do not get along.

5. Ferris Wheel Train of Doom sounds like an awesome ride. I would totally go on that.

10. Of course you don't want that dress. Boooooring.

11. NGL, I didn't see that heart until you pointed it out.

14. Love this!

15. Is the tribal arm band tattoo a things still in real life? Or just on book covers? (I also think the tattoo looks fake, like most tattoos do on book covers.)

CB7. Hardcover looks different and appealing. Paperback has cowboy books which screams "WESTERN!!!" at me and I want to run away from it.

WTF3. My eyes! My eyes!

August 15, 2013 at 9:34 PM  
Blogger Kayla Beck said...

Great job on burning my eyes out this week!

August 15, 2013 at 10:10 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Score! Guess I did something right this week!

August 16, 2013 at 8:35 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. Be careful what you wish for...

3. Lol, that's what they're going for. I think it's a "this will get your pulse racing" sort of thing. The stories are pretty light and fluffy romance.

7. Tattooed on, I think. There was a girl in my high school who'd done that.

11. BAAHAHA. I think you're wrong, but LOL.

19. I'm not sure that you'll like it...

23. Yeah, I think I've heard.

26. GROSSSSSS

August 16, 2013 at 8:41 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Awesome. I'm glad it helped on a day when you needed some of the best medicine!

August 16, 2013 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

3. Winter clothes are all cute and snuggly. I approve! Besides, men look really good in coats like that. Just saying.

5. FLYING TRAIN, DUH.

16. Backs are better. I like that it looks like actual ink and not tattoos.

22. Feeling in your feet is overrated.

36. BUT HIS BODY IS READY.

3. People who like bears, I guess.

August 16, 2013 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

NA: I agree. They're boring. That's why I don't put too many in here anymore. They're so similar that I feel like every joke has been made.

8. If he waits long enough, maybe it will.

WTF 3: I DON'T KNOW.

August 16, 2013 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. There is orange eye shadow. That's almost fire.

5. To make things eerier I suppose.

7. Bahaha.

16. They don't seem like they'd have to be set TOO low.

19. Agreed. I like it but it's just too busy to be totally awesome.

21. Yeah, I'm not impressed.

24. Bahahaha. Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of being picked up. Also, I'm ticklish, so his hand on my leg would probably be making it hard not to giggle.

28. WHY WOULD YOU LINK ME TO A VIDEO OF A BABY? AHHHHHH.

WTF3: I do not suffer alone!

August 16, 2013 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Sorry that you are grumpy, but I hope this helps!

1. Someone mentioned the allergies of having flowers by your eyes and omg I die.

3. Nope, definitely weird.

4. BUILDERS?

7. Hahahaha.

8. Oh noes!

15. I choose to believe so.

17. Yeah, I was wondering about that.

24. He has hair on his head! Also, better no hair than hair.

32. I bet.

7. Lol.

3. See what I said about the hair?

August 16, 2013 at 9:14 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Shaving is such a good thing, isn't it?

August 16, 2013 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

1. Oh god, I would die.

4. *shrugs*

7. Tattooed, I think. Also, earrings on dudes just look so tacky. I know it's cultural but ugh.

10. NOTHING. NOTHING DOES.

21. Agreed.

28. Bahahaha.

30. Read it! Read it right now!

7. I don't like either cover, but the hardback's less awful.

August 16, 2013 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Kara_Malinczak said...

I don't like any of the covers this week honestly, but I feel very MEH about all of them too. Maybe I am uninspired. But that hairy chest cover? *vomits into the back of my throat*

August 18, 2013 at 5:34 AM  
Blogger Helen said...

THIS POST MADE ME SO HAPPY. Lol. Ohhhh, my gosh. So many thoughts, so many mental images... it's just too much right now. But I'm so glad I found this, as I will definitely be back, LOL. The things people put on book covers!!

August 19, 2013 at 10:45 AM  

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