Cover Snark (69): The One Which Will Scar You for Fairies

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. World After (Penryn & the End of Days #2) - Susan Ee

Thoughts: Free-standing albino bat wings. Well, that's different. IF SOMEONE STOLE BARTOK'S WINGS, I WILL GET REVENGE FOR HIM. I WILL GIVE THE THIEF A HA AND A HIYAH AND I WILL KICK THEM, SIR.

2. Without You (Stripped #1.5) - Brooklyn Skye

Thoughts: If she were in the world of Frozen, would she hire people to tear her hair out for her? Curiosity aside, she found her clothes!

3. To Steal a Highlander's Heart - Samantha Holt

Thoughts: I'm pretty sure the key to stealing a highlander's heart is hidden somewhere in her hair piles. Also, I have so read this abduction romance plot set in Scotland before. Does it bother anyone that stockholm syndrome is a popular romantic formula? No. Okay then.

4. Chasing Before (The Memory Chronicles #2) - Lenore Appelhans

Thoughts: Dang, I hate it when I put on so much mascara I can't lift my eyelids to see how it looks. Even worse when I walk into my floating lamps. CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL, FLOATING LIGHTS.

5. Beautiful Beginning (Beautiful Bastard #3.5) - Christina Lauren

Thoughts: So she's a princess now? Or she's such a bitch she wears a tiara all the time to show how superior she thinks she is.

6. The Clockwork Wolf (Disenchanted & Co. #2) - Lynn Viehl

 Thoughts: This dress comes with the Anne of Green Gables stamp of approval.

7. Lawful Interception (Little Brother) - Cory Doctorow

Thoughts: The cover art for an e-novella. Matches the series, while also managing to suggest this is about Spider-man. Note the web-like cracking, the bridge from which innocent people are probably hanging in a bus needing to be saved, and the classy blue and red outfit.

8. In Control (The City #2) - Crystal Serowka

Thoughts: Text on the cover I can actually read! I approve! And a POC. Woooo.

9. The A-Word (Sweet Dead Life #2) - Joy Preble

Thoughts: ASSHOLE is always going to be the first word to come to my mind. Title fail.

10. Love Untouched (Unexpected #3) - Anne Leigh

Thoughts: A young woman falls in love with two swimmers at the same time. Ian is sweet and supportive, but a bit boring. Michael is a dick, but there's something about him (perhaps his dick? or his monkey face?) that she cannot resist. Camilla doesn't swim and, in fact, cannot get within thirty feet of a pool as she cannot walk without falling down even when there ISN'T water on the floor. They both love her passionately. What's a girl to do? Give them an ultimatum, of course: whoever will wear their swimsuit bottoms with one side pulled up too high for the longest loves her the most. Obviously.

11. The Harlem Hellfighters - Max Brooks

Thoughts: ONCE MORE INTO THE BREEAAAAAACHHHHH!

12. Ten Days - Olivia Mayfield

Thoughts: Apparently this is based on an E.M. Forster short story which is boss. But that is not the cover. I don't have much to say about the cover, though. Hmmm. City floating over model in building has never been my favorite design, but whatever.

13. Annihilation (Southern Reach Trilogy #1) - Jeff VanderMeer

Thoughts: Something tells me a lot of people will have trouble making those four lines of letters into a word.

14. Slightly Spellbound (Southern Witch #4) - Kimberly Frost

Thoughts: FLOATING CAT HEAD.

15. Since You’ve Been Gone - Morgan Matson

Thoughts: Okay, cover. It is your fault that I'm going to go watch Pitch Perfect again. Also, I need an ice cream cone. WHO'S WITH ME? I also approve of the fact that, rather than moping about a person being gone, she went and got her bestie and some ice cream. This is how the coping happens.

16. Luminary (Anomaly #2) - Krista McGee

Thoughts: What does that connect the dots W mean? I bet it's science and EVERYONE knows but me. This is clearly my thing of the week.

17. Z 2135 - Sean Platt & David Wright

Thoughts: No idea what this is about, but I do like it. Is it about 2135 zombies?

18. Armada - Ernest Cline

Thoughts: I am thinking of Atari. Boop.....boop.

19. All the Colors of Love - Jessica Freely

Thoughts: Love it! Gay superhero will spread the rainbow!

20. Better off Friends - Elizabeth Eulberg

Thoughts: This really doesn't click for me as a whole, but I do love the swings.

21. Steampunk Darcy - Monica Fairview

Thoughts: If that's Darcy in the bow tie, then I must go weep. According to the summary, it's a descendant of THE Darcy, but still no no no.

Cover Battles:

1. Unbreakable (Legion #1) - Kami Garcia
 
US vs. UK: US for being more original and the orange, I guess, but I don't really like the floating head with one eye or the U. So. Yeah.

2. A Different Kingdom - Paul Kearney

Old Version vs. New: The new one stands out way more. The other is indistinguishable from most old school fantasy. Person on a horse in a cloak = THE MOST FANTASTICAL.

3. Precious Things - Stephanie Parent

Original vs. Traditional NA vs. New: Oh hey, I approve of this redesign. How cute is that new model? Generally, I think it just looks a lot more professional. However, I don't mind the original either. Mostly, I just loathe the "sexy" one.

4. Lost Lake - Sarah Addison Allen

Take 1 vs. Take 2: WAY better than their first attempt. Now THIS looks like a Sarah Addison Allen book. Don't like how large the author name is or the title treatment, but I still want to go to there.

WTF of the Week:
WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I've found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of "Dear God, what is that thing?" If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to cynicalsapphire@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Bump in the Night - Rachel Haimowitz, ed.

Thoughts: Thanks to Nafiza for spotting this beauty. You can guess what they mean by "bump" in the night. *cue George Takei* (Also, make sure not to miss the ghost hands.)

2. Teach Me Love - S. Moose

Thoughts: When you're asking a mannikin to teach you love, it is too late. (Her skin is gray! I call mannikin. Two living models are just too costly.)

3. Saving Alexander - Susan MacNicol

Thoughts: What really cracks me up about this one is that it looks like Lady Gaga's Alejandro music video got mixed up with her Paparazzi video.

4. Strange Angels - Andrea Speed

Thoughts: I call statutory rape. HANDS OFF, YOU CREEPY MERMAID ANGEL WITH LIGHTNING WINGS. Props to Experiment BL626 for your current need for brain bleach.

5. The Goodreads Killer - Dave Franklin

Thoughts: You're braver than I am if you accept THAT review request. Thanks to Shae for spotting this creeper!

6. Call of the Piss Fairy - Lee Allen Howard

 Thoughts: I cannot add to this.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Nothing inspired huge amounts of love this week. Plenty that I liked, but nothing mind-blowing.