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A Reader of Fictions: Cover Snark (38): In Which Series Are Milked for All Possible Money

A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Cover Snark (38): In Which Series Are Milked for All Possible Money

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don't write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I've linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Commenting pro tip: The easiest way to comment on such a long post is to open the post in two windows (really easy if you use Google Reader). Comment in one and scroll the covers in the other. That's actually how I comment on other people's reviews too. I can't remember all my comments by the time I get to the box!

This week's going to be a short one, because I've been busy with the holidays.

1. Insatiable (A Mermaid's Curse #1) - Daniele Lanzarotta
 Thoughts: So...the mermaid's curse is that she's a nymphomaniac? Or maybe it's her heavy hand with the blush? Or maybe it's that dress. Or the whole cover she's stuck on.

2.  Gated - Amy Christine Parker
 Thoughts: Meh. My favorite part of this is actually the tag line. I don't think the repetition of the title is really working out for this cover. I know they're trying to make it into a gate, but it's not working for me.

3. Where the Silence Ends - Jade Kerrion
Thoughts: They probably shouldn't have let this cover model eat so many carrots, because she's looking rather orange. Really, though, I think this is a pretty adorable self-pub.

4. Lucifer (Sons of Old Trilogy #1) - Annabell Cadiz
 Thoughts: "Sons of Old"? Okay then. "The line between love and hate. Revenge." Tag line, are you trying to say that revenge is the line between love and hate? Because I don't think so. Or, are you just stating that those two things are covered in this book? None of these cover elements fit together: illustrated winged creature, ginger face, or old creepy gate. Self-pub fail.

 5. The Circle (The Engelsfors Trilogy #1) - Sara B. Elfgren & Mats Strandberg
Thoughts: In a rare turn of events, the US has actually kept the same cover used in other countries. I haven't really seen that happen before. It's okay. *shrugs* Hard for me to get too excited about a bloody wreath with a feather headdress.

6. Valkyrie Symptoms (Valkyrie #0.5) - Ingrid Paulson
Thoughts: HarperTeen Impulse strikes again! This one's better than most, but sure doesn't look like much work went into it. I do like the background, but the floaty knife and ornate swirls below and above the title need to go.

7. Quick Fix (In a Fix #2) - Linda Grimes
 Thoughts: Oh dear. That is not a flattering outfit, at least not at this weird angle. The title font/color really isn't working either.

8. Angelopolis (Angelology #2) - Danielle Trussoni
Thoughts: Is that a Faberge egg? What does that have do with angels? This is lame.

9. Intuition (Transcendence #2) - C.J. Omololu
 Thoughts: Oooh, "past lives make the present a dangerous place." That's interesting. I like this well enough.

10. Shadow Falls: The Beginning (Shadow Falls #1-2) - C.C. Hunter
 Thoughts: I can't decide how I feel about all these omnibuses coming out now. Hmmm. Oh well. I don't like this cover as well as the individual ones, but it does have the feel of the series.

11. The Immortals: The Beginning (The Immortals #1-2) - Alyson Noel
 Thoughts: That cover is gross. It looks like an animated dancing flower. Or maybe like it will grow up to eat humans, preferably the characters in the book, like Audrey 2.

12. House of Night: The Beginning (House of Night #1-2) - P.C. Kast & Kristin Cast
 Thoughts: Is there anything the Casts won't do for money? I mean, this series is already 14 books long or something, with various between the novels bullshit and a crappy graphic novel series. Are omnibuses entirely necessary? No. They're not. Just stop.

13. A Kiss of Blood (Vamp City #2) - Pamela Palmer
 Thoughts: You know what's awesome for fighting? A leather miniskirt. Really allows for a full range of motion, especially if it's tight. There's nothing better for running and kicking.

14. Tarnished - Rhiannon Held
Thoughts: "Urban fantasy takes a walk on the wild side." UGH, get over your self.

15. Red Horse (White Horse #2) - Alex Adams
 Thoughts: I wish they'd stuck to the horse covers, but, from what I hear, there aren't actually horses in White Horse, so this might be fore the best. I like the ruined city, but the floating face with stringy hair is meh.

16. A Dark Grave (The Elysium Chronicles #0.5) - J A Souders
 Thoughts: *snorts*

17. Beauty's Beast (The Trackers #4) - Jenna Kernan
 Thoughts: Is he a birdman? Or are these birds just here to tell us that this is fantasy? BIRDS. "Used to be able to sit out on the stoop like a person."

18. This Wicked Magic (This Witchery #2) - Michele Hauf
 Thoughts: I'm getting more of a "this wicked chandelier" vibe.

19. Magic and Loss (Golgotham #3) - Nancy A. Collins
 Thoughts: Is she holding a blow torch? Is it ON? What is that? I suspect the loss will be her foot, since she's pointing whatever that is at it. Why is the title font orange? Blergh.

20. City of Bones: The Graphic Novel (The Mortal Instruments: Graphic Novel #1) - Mike Raicht
 Thoughts: When one graphic novel is just not enough graphic novels. MOOO! That's the sound of someone milking a cash cow!

21. Delirium Stories: Hana, Annabel, & Raven (Delirium #0.5, 1.5, 2.5) - Lauren Oliver
 Thoughts: I actually like when they package ebooks into physical books, because then I might be able to get the book from the library eventually. The cover is meh.

22. Ex-Heroes (Ex-Heroes #1) - Peter Clines 
Thoughts: This looks fun.I like the raggedy Batman look to the cape and the stance.

23. Pros and Cons (Nikki Glass #2.5) - Jenna Black
Thoughts: Seriously, she must have a lot more trust in tube tops than I do if she's going to go into battle in one. I always feel like they're trying to escape.

24. The Camp - Karice Bolton
Thoughts: It looks like they rolled her tank top up so it would look like a midriff-baring shirt. WEIRD. And, seriously, what is that font?

25. Her Knight in Black Leather - J.M. Stewart
 Thoughts: And people say romance is dead!

26. The Sixteenth Need (Partlow #1) - Celia Read
Thoughts: Needs itemized as follows: 1. Food, 2. Shelter, 3. Good health, 4. Rocking bod, 5. Internet, 6. Cell phone, 7. My cat, Mr. Meowington, 8. Lipstick, 9. Mascara, 10. Eye liner, 11. Bronzer, 12. Gym membership, 13. Tweezers, 14. Car, 15. Best friend, 16. Your hand off my face.

Thoughts: Pretty! Oh, historical fiction covers.

28. Strikeforce (Skyship Academy #3) - Nick James
 Thoughts: Meh. I've never been a big fan of these covers. The kid on the right looks like he's about to pee his pants.

Cover Battles:

1. A Matter of Blood (The Forgotten Gods #1) - Sarah Pinborough
 UK vs. US: Changing the series name to The Forgotten Gods was a GOOD call. I don't know why the US cover is upside down, but the fly on a pin is not something I ever want to look at. Winner: US.

2. Slayers (Slayers #1) - C.J. Hill
Hardback vs. Paperback: Now that's a good change. The paperback isn't perfect, but it's way more interesting and more appealing for the intended teen audience. I will never understand why she's fighting dragons in high heels and a tiny tube dress, and that dragon could look less hilarious, but whatever. Better than a dragon shaped into a tiny spaceship or whatever's happening on the hardcover. Winner: Paperback.

3. Rebirth (Aftertime #2) - Sophie Littlefield
Hardback vs. Paperback: Neither of these is awful and neither is great. I like the original cover style, though. It had it's own feel and fit the books really well. Plus, the lime green and watermelon red color combo doesn't really sell zombies, even with the barbed wire. Winner: Hardback

4. Horizon (Aftertime #3) - Sophie Littlefield
Hardback vs. Paperback: Apparently, they decided one illustrated bird was not enough, and raised them 10. This looks like it should be about a bird's surfing competition. No. Winner: Hardback

WTF of the Week: 
Wrecked (Clayton Falls #3) - Alyssa Rose Ivy
 Thoughts: Ew, ew, ew. Wrecked is right. These folks definitely win the awkward cover kiss award. Also, he's terrifying: his hair, his face. On top of all that, that title font and could hardly look worse with that backdrop.



Blogger Kelly said...

I just want to say, I LOVE your cover snark posts. It always makes me laugh & keeps me up to date on the cover news. None of the covers this week are really good, although I think Shadow Falls: The Beginning looks cute.

December 27, 2012 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Awww, thank you! That means so much to hear.

I agree with you about this week's selection. Most of them aren't terrible, but they're not great either. Oh well. Can't win 'em all. The pubs don't want to put out the big guns over the holidays probably.

December 27, 2012 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger Kimberly @ Midnight Book Girl said...

Not related to cover snark, but I was just going through applications (the joy!) and came across one where the guys exit reason from his only job was "i was too good for the low pay i was getting".

I know they never try to hard with novellas, but sometimes they do turn out pretty. Sometimes not.

8. Angelopolis? Really? And yes, that's totally a Faberge egg.

Re: Omnibuses - They should not be allowed ever for books that are not more than 10 years old. Very misleading because you think it's a new book but it's not. It should also be VERY clearly marked and a lot of them aren't.

20. Ugly.

Re: Milking the cow for all it's worth - yes that's exactly what they are doing because they know that people will buy them.

21. I liked the covers for hana and annabel seperately better, but I do like that you'll be able to get them in print.

24. Is this a romance or a horror story? It's got a creepy vibe, but the couple on the cover screams romance.

26. Looks like he's going to break her neck. Awkward.

I hope you had a good holiday!

December 27, 2012 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Ashleigh Paige said...

I am unable to comment on any of the other books because I am too busy flipping the Shadow Falls omnibus the bird over and over again. I liked the House of Night series more than I liked that crock of slut-shaming and cliches. I even tolerated seven books of HoN bull before I quit!

I guess St. Martin's Press is in an omnibus mood. They're also doing one for the first two Courtney Summers books, Cracked Up to Be and Some Girls Are. Me gusta los libros de Courtney Summers. <3 (F$%K, I'M THINKING IN SPANISH AGAIN. NOT FOR ANOTHER WEEK AND A HALF, BRAIN.)

December 27, 2012 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

I might be on the opposite end of the omnibus debate. I like them for long series for people who haven't read the books before. If there are like 8 books in a series and a teen is going to the bookstore on an allowance budget, it makes more sense for them to buy 4 omnibuses with 2 books inside than 8 separate books which they probably can't afford. The downside for me is that if someone has never read the series before or knows anything about it, omnibuses can just add to the confusion.

Like you, I enjoy that short stories are being published together though!

The only cover that stands out to me this week is 27. I think it's beautiful in that it transports me to that time.

And THANK YOU for mentioning the rolled up top on The Camp. I may have never noticed it if not and wouldn't know what kind of hilarious was missing from my life.

December 27, 2012 at 12:51 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

So...what's with all the omnibuses? Weird.

I'm not much into any of these this week. But I do like the new CJ Omolulu cover, though I miss the biracial couple from the first book. Also, I don't really understand the point of Harper Impulse besides making a little extra cash. But I'm not really into shorts like that, so maybe I'm the wrong person to comment on that...

December 27, 2012 at 1:22 PM  
Blogger Christina Reads YA said...

The omnibuses are really weird. I have two - one for FALLEN by Thomas S. and the other for Vampire Diaries - but I'd never realized there were more. I really like the INTUITION cover, but looking it up on GR... lol @ your comments on Beauty's Beast :P. And yep on the graphic novel part. Same thoughts I had.

Okay, my question now for you is: where do you find all these covers??? And how do you choose which to feature :P?

December 27, 2012 at 2:17 PM  
Blogger fakesteph said...

I actually really like the cover for Intuition. Also, I really dislike the House of Night graphic novels. I totally want to read the City of Bones Graphic novel! LOVE LOVE LOVE the cover for The Secret History!

December 27, 2012 at 3:22 PM  
Blogger fakesteph said...

OMGOMGOMG... hit publish by accident... AWKWARD WTF KISS OF FOREVER AWARD.

December 27, 2012 at 3:26 PM  
Blogger roro said...

the WTF dude is cute lol . just me . i think lol

December 27, 2012 at 3:37 PM  
Blogger Jaime Lester said...

Usually there is at least 1 cover that I like, and more often than that there are a few. This week, every single one of them is absolutely terrible. Terrible, awful, yucky, ewww, gross.... just no! But it is better that way, because your snark makes me laugh!

December 28, 2012 at 3:35 AM  
Blogger Christina said...


They ought to try for novellas, since they're asking for our money.

I guess so. I'd never heard of that angel series. O_O

I like your rule for omnibuses. I'm not against them in general, but it seems a bit absurd when the series isn't even finished yet. I do like the ones that include additional content, though, like for Soul Screamers, which package the novellas too.

20. Sure are. Apparently, there are going to be two more series set in the same world. *headdesks*

24. Really not sure.

I did! Hope yours was awesome too!

December 28, 2012 at 10:26 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh dear!

I approve of Courtney Summers, but I already own three of them, so I don't need the omnibus. Oh well!

December 28, 2012 at 10:27 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

True. I'm really okay with them most of the time, but if I don't approve of the books to begin with...

Yes! I don't buy ebooks, so I find novellas really frustrating!

I do like 27. Very pretty. And I want that outfit!

December 28, 2012 at 10:30 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Don't know. Apparently, it's St. Martin's new thing.

Yeah, that was my favorite cover this week too, but not enough so to make it my Outstanding cover.

I really don't like the shorts at all, and I feel like if you're going to ask people to pay for them, then you should make the product look nice. *harrumphs*

December 28, 2012 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

They seem to be getting more popular. I have one for Soul Screamers from BEA, and a couple for a Meg Cabot series.

Many places! I feature the ones that most entertain me or that are from a big press.

December 28, 2012 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Yay! I quit Cassandra Clare, but that graphic novel looks way better than many of them.

December 28, 2012 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

certainly not me!

December 28, 2012 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Awwww, sorry you don't like any of them!

December 28, 2012 at 10:34 AM  
Blogger Leanne Yang said...

I get what you mean by "milking the cash cow" That's the vibe I'm getting from her, is that she doesn't really care about writing a good book, but she just wants the money. I honestly think her writing is going downhill.

December 28, 2012 at 4:55 PM  
Blogger TeamNerd Reviews said...

Hey Christina! Thank you for including my cover in the post (regardless of the fact that you didn't actually like it LOL) Actually made me laugh! I can appreciate where you're coming from. You might like the cover better if you read the book since it would make more sense lol but nonetheless, viva la snark! ~Annabell

December 30, 2012 at 1:32 AM  

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