Cover Snark (25)

Welcome to Cover Snark where you're always free to let your snark flag fly. This week I have a really awesome collection of covers for you, by which I mean of course that they are all imminently snarkable. Some of them are really just asking for it. Also, prepare yourself for the worst indie of the week, because it's definitely a candidate for the worst indie of ALL TIME.

As always, feel free to disagree with me! Covers are subjective, so let me know what you like, what you don't, and what made you spittake. Where possible, I've linked you to GR, so you can add books that you think look awesome.

Opal (Lux #3) - Jennifer L. Armentrout

Thoughts: These books may be the shiz, and that certainly seems to be the consensus, but the covers are awful. First off, the guy creeps me the hell out. Obsidian's the worst for that with the unbuttoned shirt and creepy stare. Onyx adds a wife beater to the picture, which really doesn't do him any favors. He's finally wearing some non-creepy clothing, but he's still got scary, shiny eyes and is carrying a girl who may or may not be drugged. Maybe she's not, but as a girl who likes her heroines strong, covers like this really turn me off.

Sharp (Mindspace Investigations #2) - Alex Hughes

Thoughts: Meh. Looks like urban fantasy for men. The city in the background is pretty cool, but it's really not doing anything for me.

The Star Dwellers (The Evolution Trilogy #2) - David Estes

Thoughts: For self pubs, these are pretty good, though I don't think this one is anywhere near as interesting as the first book's. I'm really not getting a dystopian feeling from it, though, so it's not really calling to readers; it looks more film noir to me.

A Witch Alone (Winter Trilogy #3) - Ruth Warburton

 Thoughts: Is it just me or these covers getting worse as they go along? The color scheme of puke green and purple really isn't working for me at all. It also looks very poorly photoshopped. Also, why did they choose to make the ground in the background precisely the same color as her dress? UGHHHH.

Deadly Sting (Elemental Assassin #8) - Jennifer Estep

Thoughts: I like this cover. The red is an appealing shade, and the girl looks like a badass, even if her outfit does recall Tinkerbell's. However, it really doesn't seem to have anything to do with the other books in the series. Is this the beginning of a rebranding?

Just for Now (Sea Breeze #4) - Abbi Glines

Thoughts: Goodness, I hate these covers. The font and the whole future sorority girls and fraternity guys on spring break vibe. Not my thing. The only one of these I like at all is Because of Low, which doesn't look like the others. Also, While It Lasts makes me laugh forever, because guy in cowboy hat is sitting on a GIANT HAY BALL.

Hollywood Holiday (Red Carpet Series #2) - Sasha Summers

 Thoughts: This sequel is brought to you by: THE UGLIEST BOUQUET EVER.

Beyond the Cell - Sara Tribble

 Thoughts: I do like the colors, but the fonts are not working, especially since the title is a little bit hard to read. Ehhhh.

Pantomime - Laura Lam

Thoughts: Really, Strange Chemistry? Why did they release the picture before the finished cover? There's now no excitement in the final release, since the title and author treatment really hasn't added anything to the picture. I am disappoint. For some possible other covers, check out Cuddlebuggery where Kat Kennedy designed some alternatives...

Just One Day - Gayle Forman

Thoughts: New Gayle Forman! Yay! Cover = odd. Coffee-loving girl with overly enthusiastic watch likes to people watch in  blurry foreign squares.

Cinder (Death Collectors #2) - Jessica Sorensen

Thoughts: That girl glows. She doesn't need the light of that giant moon to see by. I actually rather like the title treatment, though I feel like I shouldn't.

Sirens (Faithful #3) - Janet Fox

Thoughts: Janet Fox has the prettiest covers! They fail at a series vibe entirely, but who cares when they're this pretty, right? This one has a 1920s vibe AND a fantastic background AND a fun title font. I will say, though, that the way the pearls are attached to her wrists like chains are both creepy and an excellent metaphor for the gilded cage of upper class life.


Losing It - Cora Carmack

 Thoughts: I just thought this was stupid at first, but then I read the synopsis. A girl is sick of being a virgin, so she tries to have a one night stand, fails, and then he turns out to be her college theater professor. OH MY GOD. I am so creeped out. Does the guy on this cover look nearly old enough to be a professor? And the chain? Also, the way he's positioned as above and control and she's below and submissive? NO.

Dead Rise Shore - Sarah Ballance

 Thoughts: From Here to Eternity meets zombies.

Fox Forever (Jenna Fox Chronicles #3) - Mary E. Pearson

Thoughts: Oooh, I like the way this combines the elements of the previous ones. Still not as good as Mila 2.0, but very nice.

The Rithmatist - Brandon Sanderson

Thoughts: Steampunk horse! Looks like a middle grade? I like it, but it doesn't seem all that new either.

Between - Karey Schafer
 
Thoughts: Is that a dragon in that ball? That's awesome! Also, she has some sort of tattoo type deal going on on her shoulder. Plus, red hair. Who doesn't love sassy gingers?

Awakening (Dark World #1) - Arden Ashling

Thoughts: What is that shirt she's wearing? It looks so wrinkly. Also, LOOK AT THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. I do actually like the title font and the background, though. 

If He Had Been With Me - Laura Nowlin

Thoughts: Sets the tone for a dark contemporary that will make you weep enough tears to make puddles like the one depicted.

Bruised - Sarah Skilton

  Thoughts: NGL, this cover makes me giggle. However, the way the title font looks like blood splatter around the i's dot makes it look like she's just had her hand chopped off ala Luke Sky Walker.

In the Shadow of Blackbirds - Cat Winters

Thoughts: Is it just me or does this look like the family photo of some crazy aunt before she got sent to the insane asylum? The goggles are a nice touch. Seriously, though, this cover creeps me out.

Empty - K.M. Walton

1st Attempt vs. Redesign: Good job, designers. This is WAY better. Very simple and literal.

Worst Indie of the Week: Human Rights - S.L. Armstrong

Thoughts: Words: I don't have them.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:
Sirens by Janet Fox