Review: How to Train Your Dragon

How to Train Your Dragon
How to Train Your Dragon, Book 1

Author: Cressida Cowell
Narrator: David Tennant
Duration: 3 hrs, 29 mins
Publisher: Hachette Childrens Books
Read: June 25-28, 2013
Source: Gifted - thanks YA Books Central!

Description from Goodreads:
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III is a truly extraordinary Viking hero known throughout Vikingdom as "the Dragon Whisperer" ... but it wasn't always so. Travel back to the days when the mighty warrior was just a boy, the quiet and thoughtful son of the Chief of the Hairy Hooligans. Can Hiccup capture a dragon and train it without being torn limb from limb? Join the adventure as the small boy finds a better way to train his dragon and becomes a hero!

Review:

As we all know, movies often aren't much like the books they're based on, and that's incredibly true here. Now, the setting's the same: Vikings, dragons, characters and all that. However, there are a couple of major differences, based even on what I remember from the movie I saw once about three years ago. When you think of How to Train Your Dragon, I bet your first thought is something along these lines:

Certainly, I did. Awkward boy befriends adorable dragon. Cuteness abounds. Everyone learns things. Not really how it goes down, though. The actual story is definitely tailored to a little boy audience, with gross jokes, battles and such. Also, Toothless is creepy as all get out. And green.

No, seriously. Toothless is not remotely adorable. He's crude and gross, and purposely poops all over Hiccup's house. Also, he hates Hiccup for most of it, and Hiccup hates him, mostly because the Vikings actually use dragons as slaves after they DRAGONNAP them from their caves when they're babies. That's one of the tests to become a full member of the tribe. As is training the dragon to do what you say by yelling at it. Oh, AND Toothless is way smaller than in the movie. Hiccup can carry him around. If anything, Toothless reminded me of Gollum. Yeah.

Basically, I kept expecting the story to end with a realization that dragons need to be treated more equally, considering that they're smart and have their own language and everything, but that didn't really happen. Like, at the end, I think they respect dragons a little more, but still plan to make the dragons do what they say. I just didn't really feel that much sympathy with the Vikings when the HUGE dragon arrives with plans to eat them, yanno?

Also, just fyi, there was not a single female character in this story that I noticed. Not a one. Apparently the Vikings figured out a way to procreate with only men, or with dragons. Of course, I don't think that's true. Women are just so unimportant they're wholly unworthy of mention. Thanks, movie, for adding in a wholly not historically accurate female character who was in the same class as the boys. I mean, there are dragons, so are we really that big on historical accuracy?

Much as I didn't like the story, because it's just totally not for me, there is one reason I rated this three stars and did like listening to it:

THIS GUY.

WORTH IT. Oh, David Tennant. I love him as Doctor Who, of course, but now I got to hear him go full on Scottish, and I loved it. He's a delightful narrator, just as you would expect. He even did a voice that was rather reminiscent of Jeremy Irons for the giant, man-eating dragon. I just sort of tried to pay as little attention as possible to the story and to soak in the accents.

OH YEAH.

I wish I could say that I liked this enough overall to want to continue with the rest of the audiobooks he narrated (which is six or seven of the series), but I don't. As much as I love David Tennant, I would have to buy each one from Audible, and that's just too much money for books I don't like. If my library had them, well, that would be another story.

I'm sorry, but it was beautiful while it lasted.

So, there you have it. Unless you're a huge David Tennant fan (why wouldn't you be?) or totally okay with the absence of women and treatment of the dragons, you'll probably want to skip this one. However, that's sad. Let's look at David Tennant one more time, huh?

How awesome is this man?

Rating: 3/5

Audiobook Review: The One and Only Ivan

The One and Only Ivan

Author: Katherine Applegate
Narrator: Adam Grupper
Duration: 3 hrs, 46 mins
Publisher: Harper Audio
Source: Publisher for review

Description from Goodreads:
Ivan is an easygoing gorilla. Living at the Exit 8 Big Top Mall and Video Arcade, he has grown accustomed to humans watching him through the glass walls of his domain. He rarely misses his life in the jungle. In fact, he hardly ever thinks about it at all.

Instead, Ivan thinks about TV shows he's seen and about his friends Stella, an elderly elephant, and Bob, a stray dog. But mostly Ivan thinks about art and how to capture the taste of a mango or the sound of leaves with color and a well-placed line.

Then he meets Ruby, a baby elephant taken from her family, and she makes Ivan see their home--and his own art--through new eyes. When Ruby arrives, change comes with her, and it's up to Ivan to make it a change for the better.

Katherine Applegate blends humor and poignancy to create Ivan's unforgettable first-person narration in a story of friendship, art, and hope.

Review:

You know what's awesome? Short audiobooks. They make me feel like I am getting SO MUCH DONE. Illusion of productivity for the win.

Why Did I Read This Book?
Actually, I wasn't planning to read this book in print or audio, despite the accolades, because, even though this would have been my childhood self's thing, my adult self wasn't all that interested. However, an unsolicited audiobook showed up, and, even though I know I don't HAVE to do anything with unsolicited titles, I feel like I should try. Plus, I'd heard the book was good and it was three hours, so why the hell not?

What's the Story Here?
Ivan is a gorilla, a great and mighty silverback, and he lives in this totally sketchy little "domain" in a mall. Straight up, I was shocked when at the end I learned Applegate based this on a true story, because how is that shiz even legal? Ivan and an elephant, Stella, are in these tiny cages at a crappy little strip mall, and perform shows and just what? This seems so unhealthy for the animals, and I just do not get how this was happening. Anyway, the mall circus/zoo thing isn't doing well, so the guy running it, Mac, purchases a baby elephant, Ruby. Her arrival sets in motion events that make Ivan realize how unhappy he is in his tiny domain.

How Are the Characters?
Hmm, well, I can't say I really connected with them particularly. There's an odd mixture of anthropomorphism and trying to retain their animal selves that I could not get used to. I'm all for anthropomorphism in general, but I don't know. There were just moments where I was left going chicka-what? Bob was totally my favorite, the little dog that would sleep on Ivan's chest. He was funny how he would always tell it like it is.

Did It Make Me Weep?
Nope. However, I do think this is one of those books that was written to make little children shed buckets of tears, like The Red Fern Grows, though this one at least ends happily. But, seriously, there is animal death up in here and, if I'd been more connected to the characters, gah. Also, some of the deaths are brutal, as in ending in dismemberment, which I was so not expecting from a kids' book. That would have haunted my childhood self something fierce.

What Am I Left Thinking About?
So in The One and Only Ivan, there's sort of this theme about how great zoos are, and I thought that was slightly strange. I mean, I get that from Ivan's perspective, a zoo is totally sweet digs. At the same time, though, I know that zoos are still animal abuse in a sense, and so the fact that they're almost idolized here was puzzling. I'm not completely anti-zoo or anything, but I just expected it to come down against caging other animals at all, and less how zoos are humans being awesome. Really don't know how I feel about this, so I'll probably continue to cogitate on it.

How Was the Narration?
First off, I have to say that I think Grupper did a pretty good job with the narration. He does voices and has a rumbly enough voice to make a good gorilla. Still, his voice just didn't have much appeal to me personally. It wasn't one where I was like "Yes, please tell me a story forever," you know? There are some narrators I could listen to read anything forever, but Grupper just isn't one of those. While objectively I think he did a great job, I suspect I would have liked the print a bit more on this one, but it's so hard to accurately make that call without actually reading the book to compare.

Sum It Up with a GIF:

Totally sums up Ivan's feels.

Rating: 3/5

Review: The Neverending Story

The Neverending Story

Author: Michael Ende
Narrator: Gerard Doyle
Duration: 13 hrs, 38 mins
Publisher: Tantor Media
Source: Library

Description from Goodreads:
In this classic fantasy novel from author Michael Ende, small and insignificant Bastian Balthazar Bux is nobody's idea of a hero, least of all his own. Then, through the pages of an ancient, mysterious book, he discovers the enchanted world of Fantastica, and only Bastian himself can save the fairy people who live there. Shy, awkward Bastian is amazed to discover that he has become a character in the mysterious book he is reading and that he has an important mission to fulfill.

Review:

I probably should have seen this book's title for what it is: a warning. This audiobook really did feel like it would never ever end. Though I pretty much hated it from the beginning, I felt so strongly that this story is one that I ought to like that I just had to push through. My friends' average rating on GR is a 4.36, and I have friends with standards as high or higher than mine. This may fall into the category of things that don't have charm if you didn't first discover it in childhood.

So far as the story goes, the only part I liked was the frame story. In this part, Bastian, a fat, bullied boy, runs away from school and hides from his tormenters in a book shop. This is Bastian at his most sympathetic. Once in the bookshop, he interacts with the child-hating bookseller. When the shop owner goes to answer the phone, Bastian shoplifts a mysterious, fancy old book, and absconds to school with it, where he proceeds to shut himself up in the attic to read. These sections couched firmly in the real world highlight the power of a story to carry one away, and the strength of imagination. These are great themes. I only wish the others were not so upsetting.

Set up in the attic, Bastian begins to read the story of Fantastica. He learns about the Nothing, eating away at this world, and that the Childlike Empress is sick. She needs a new name or she will die, and Fantastica with her. Atreyu is enlisted to go on a quest for the person that can give her a new name. Along the way, his horse Artax dies in the Swamp of Sadness and he meets Falcor, the luck dragon. The quest is, however, unsuccessful, so he and Falcor go to the Childlike Empress to apologize for failing and dooming her to death. At which point, she tells them that they didn't and the human who will name her has been watching all along, effectively meaning that she doomed Artax for no reason whatsoever. At this juncture, I decide that the Childlike Empress is a bitch.

Because you killed my horse, bitch.

In the movie, at least when I was a child, I remember Atreyu's journey being so much more epic, and him being a much stronger figure. In the book, he seems completely unimportant to pretty much anything that's happening, a mere placeholder for Bastian. Oh, also, the wolf that haunted my dreams as a child is not nearly as intimidating.

The terrible effects just make him scarier.

The book then proceeds into a meta-fiction spiral, because Bastian will not say her new name out loud, even though he knows what it is. The Childlike Empress goes to some guy who is writing The Neverending Story as it happens, the same book Bastian is reading. She orders him to begin reading the story, thus dooming them, and the unfortunate reader, to an eternal cycle of the same events over and over until Bastian names her. At this point, more of the story is repeated than I deem acceptable, considering it wasn't even interesting the first time.

Anyway, he finally says her name, giving in to the repeated non-subtle entreaties that got Destiny's Child firmly stuck in my head for days. So, then, Bastian comes into the book and the Childlike Empress is all "take this bling as a reward." That may not be a direct quote. Maybe. She gives him the amulet, Auryn, and it will grant his wishes. What he doesn't know is that every time he makes a wish, he loses memories and becomes less human. Way to warn him, Childlike Empress. See what I said about her being a bitch? I'm supposed to be worried for his fate, but instead I just wanted Bastian to die a slow, painful death.

Every time Bastian didn't die.

However, don't feel too bad for chunky Bastian, because he doesn't exist anymore. He immediately wishes himself fit and begins to lord over all of the residents of Fantastica. His adventures are basically a study in subjugation. You might think that the fact that he was bullied might make him more sympathetic to people, but he just wants to be adored and pampered. Everyone he meets, he feels infinitely superior to, including Atreyu and Falcor, even though they're the only ones that know what's up. Even worse, most of the Fantasticans are THRILLED to be his doormat. He's Robinson Crusoe to their Friday, and it's creepy as hell. The whole thing sends terrible messages about humans being the best creatures and entitled to dominion over everyone and everything on the earth.

What really kills the story is not the insufferable main character or the questionable messages it's sending to a young audience. No, the big problem is that it's boring. Neither Atreyu nor Bastian ever has any agency. Throughout the whole book, they never learn anything for themselves or accomplish anything on their ow. Everything they do, they're told to do by some adult along the road. The Childlike Empress tells Atreyu where to look, he goes there and finds a creature who tells him where to go next, so he does that, and on it goes. The same is true of Bastian. This story doesn't empower children and lacks any real momentum since everything they're doing feels so arbitrary and staged.

On top of that, the storytelling is very detail-oriented, going for a classic style, only the details are repetitive and needless. He gives information to make the book look fancier, but it doesn't matter at all. For example, there's one scene where Bastian sees some ex-humans playing a mindless game with letter blocks where they write down the letters that come up. Anyway, the narrator was reading out random letters for at least a full minute. Sure that would be less obnoxious in print, but this had no freaking impact on the plot of the book, so why the fuck did it even happen? Stop wasting my time, Ende. Readers only want their story to be neverending if it's actually good.

The only reason I'm giving this book 1.5 stars is the narration. All of those go to him for making this slightly more tolerable than it would have been. He does a great job, managing to keep the humongous cast of pointless characters distinct with ease. So, good job, Gerard Doyle. I hope when we meet again you're reading a book I actually like.

Rating: 1.5/5

Review: James and the Giant Peach

James and the Giant Peach

Author: Roald Dahl
Illustrator: Quentin Blake
Pages: 160
Publisher: Puffin
Source: Own

Description from Goodreads:
It's the 50th anniversary of James and the Giant Peach! Come celebrate and join James Trotter and his friends - Grasshopper, Earthworm, Miss Spider - on an adventure inside a giant magical peach.

First Sentence: "Until he was four years old, James Henry Trotter had a happy life."

Review:
Oh, childhood, Roald Dahl takes me right back. I will always love Roald Dahl's work, because of how much these books meant to me as a kid, not that they're not fun now, of course, but the experience really is not quite the same. Unlike with a lot of my childhood reads, dimmed to hazy memories, I have a strong recollection of my first time reading James and the Giant Peach. Much as I loved Roald Dahl (personal favorites being the BFG, The Witches, Boy, and Matilda), I dreaded reading this book, popular as it was. In my younger years, completely different from now, I was a picky reader, wandering shelves, unsure what to read. Thus when an author tickled my fancy, I embarked on all of their books that I could get my hands on. As such, eventually the time came when I had to cave and read James and the Giant Peach.

"But Christina," you might ask, "why did you not want to read this children's classic, much beloved by many you knew and by one of your favorite authors?" Well, my dear friends, the answer is simple. All my life, I have had a phobia of just about every kind of bug. My childhood self read that synopsis and looked at that cover and thought whatever the childhood equivalent of OH HELL TO THE NO was, which, I suppose, would be something in the vein of YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. Though precisely who would be trying to force me I have no idea, as my parents let me choose my own reading material.

To try to keep what has already morphed into a rather long story from becoming a tome of giant peach proportions, I caved and read it, and, as ever, Roald Dahl charmed me utterly, perhaps more than usual because he won me over in spite of my stubborn, childish desire NOT to like the book. Ever since then, I've remembered James and the Giant Peach as a favorite. Rereading a book that meant so much to you as a tiny tot is always a treacherous prospect, because, sometimes, you discover that the book that so impacted you has all of the wit and charm of Mr. Collins.

Of course, with Roald Dahl, you're pretty safe. In my case, I found that I could not enjoy this one nearly so much as an adult, but that I could still bask in the glow of Roald Dahl's boundless imagination. Seriously, that man was a freaking international treasure. How in the world did he come up with that? How did that brainstorming session go? "Mmm, this peach is delicious. Rather large. I wish I could live in a peach with my insect and arachnid friends..." The whole story runs with the absurd, making an art of it. This book would be a perfect transition to chapter books for kids who best love Dr. Seuss' wordplay and silliness.

As an adult, I just found myself unable to lose myself in the magic of the tale the way I did as a child. I kept trying to impose logic where there was never meant to be any. Admittedly, some of the absurdities, like James' parents having been eaten by an escaped rhinoceros from the zoo, are quite humorous. Others, such as how the giant peach came into existence or the fact that sea gulls carried that peach across the Atlantic Ocean without stopping, my grown up brain could not just accept.

The fact that Dahl wrote in an earlier time is very apparent in the peach's origin. James is just sitting around outside moping, when this weird man approaches him and offers him a bunch of squirmy little bright green things. He tells James to eat them so that something magical can happen to him. In the modern world, if a stranger gives you something weird like that, you better get to running and hollering your fool head off. Thankfully, James is a klutz and drops all of the green things, thus saving us from finding out what would have happened to him.

Making the main characters James and a bunch of bugs now capable of rational thought was a clever way of allowing the child to shine. James, while exceedingly young, gets to be the problem solver, because, little life experience as he possesses, he knows more about the world than the insects do, aside from some biology lessons.

Something that I entirely did not recall about this book was how much poetry Dahl wove into the story. Every few chapters, someone sings a song or uses a poem to express themselves. The songs made sense to me, but exposition as poetry did not, though I'm sure as a kid it's the best. At the end, James addresses all of the mucky mucks in America, all freaking out because the peach just landed King Kong style on the top of the Empire State Building, and calms them by introducing his friends in a poem. Sadly, this may be more efficient and logical than how governments actually function. Children will delight in these, I have no doubt, but I'm very picky about poetry.

In all, James and the Giant Peach certainly did not impress me as much now, and I suspect that, for me at least, it's not his best. Still, he has imagination and humor like no other, and I imagine I will revisit this one again someday.

Rating: 3.5/5

Favorite Quote: "The peach rolled on. And behind it, Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spiker lay ironed out upon the grass as flat and thin and lifeless as a couple of paper dolls cut out of a picture book."

Review: The Tower Treasure

The Tower Treasure
The Hardy Boys, Book 1

Author: Franklin W. Dixon
Pages: 180
Publisher: Grosset and Dunlap
Source: Read at friend's house

Description from Goodreads:
A dying criminal confesses that his loot has been secreted "in the tower." Both towers of the looted mansion are searched in vain. It remains for the Hardy boys to make an astonishing discovery that clears up the mystery.

First Sentence: "Frank and Joe Hardy clutched the grips of their motorcycles and stared in horror at the oncoming car."

Review:
Last night, my friend and I ended up crashing at another friend's house. We wanted to drink, so we stayed there and watched a movie and had tasty margaritas made for us in an absurdly tiny blender. Awesome, right? Well, the downside comes when my allergies wake me up at 9 in the morning. I neglected to bring along a book, not planning to be there overnight. At least I have my iPod Touch with some Kindle books loaded on it, I thought. Nope, I forgot it at home. Everyone else is sleeping and I don't have a book! Obviously, I did what anyone would do, raided their library for something I could read during the morning. That's how I came to read The Tower Treasure.

To my knowledge, I never read The Hardy Boys when I was younger, though I think I did read a few volumes of Nancy Drew. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I thought it was about two young brothers who solved crimes, but I think I mixed it up with Encyclopedia Brown, which I did read way back when. In fact, the Hardy boys are 17 (Joe) and 18 (Frank). I was rather surprised they were so old since these books are for kids.

The scene opens on a country road with our young heroes riding on their motorcycles. They spot a car coming up fast and swerving all over the road. Fearful for their lives, the boys climb off the motorcycles and climb an embankment, leaving their motorcycles to be completely squashed. Lucky for their transportation, the car turns off the road before it gets there. They get back on their motorcycles and ride away, but the car comes back, having turned down a dead-end road and nearly runs them down.

The boys run their errand, dropping off a package for their detective father (the best in the world) who they totally hero-worship, as good children do. On the way home, they pass the car they saw, now crashed on the side of the road. The driver is nowhere to be seen. Rather than contacting the authorities, Frank and Joe decide to go hang out with their friend Chet.

At Chet's, the boys find more mysterious doings: Chet's car has been stolen! LE GASP! Someone took off in his precious yellow jalopy! Seriously, these kids are so spoiled. I'm pretty sure it was fairly rare for people to have cars in 1927 when this was first published, but they pretty much all have transportation and not just borrowed from dear old dad. The boys set out, with Chuck in tow, to chase after the car thief, convinced that their motorcycles are much faster, even though they couldn't outrun that car earlier. Plot hole, you say?

I don't want to spoil everything for you, because I'm sure you'll want to enjoy the unspoiled mastery of the detective work that unspools within The Tower Treasure. Frank and Joe use such unparalleled techniques as: visiting every single shop in town that might have seen a man in a wig, searching every inch of town for Chet's car with their popular buddies, and asking daddy. These boys clearly have a promising future.

The writing is quite stilted to a modern reader, and I'm not convinced it was even great for the time. One of the boys says "Have you any idea," which seemed like very odd phrasing for a hip teen. Callie, Frank's girl, on finding out that Chet's car has been stolen, responds "that's a shame." What a caring girl. Also strange is that, when offered money to help a costume store owner with his inventory, Frank and Joe say they want to work for free because it sounds fun.

Of course, the book also has plenty of sexism. The boys and men in this novel are all working hard to bring down the criminal. The women spend the entirety of the book making food to take to the people affected by the bad guy's crime spree. No joke. Frank and Joe's girlfriends keep asking them what's going on and the boys promise to fill them in later, but never do, because obviously ladies have more important things to do, like make cake. To be fair, the boys do help cook in one scene, but they leave to do some investigating (the call is totally coming from inside the house) and the girls finish the cooking alone.

The mystery plot line itself doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and is rather unsatisfying. The blurb on Goodreads even totally spoils it, so that's fun. As stupid as most of the actions taken by the Hardy boys to figure out the mystery are, this isn't the sort of mystery the reader can solve, since the guilty party has exactly no screen time in the book. This is lazy plotting. Also, despite the father's purported insane skill at being a detective, his sons wrap up the case, which I assume is only because he wanted them to earn the thousand dollar reward and save him some money on their college tuition.

All in all, The Tower Treasure was humorous and gave me something to do with my morning, but I wouldn't say that it was a good book, nor that I will be hunting down the rest of the series.

Rating: 2.5/5

Favorite Quote: "I've heard dad say there is no such thing as a clever crook. If he was really clever, he wouldn't be a crook at all."

Dystopian Storytime

I've always loved it when people tell me a story. That's why, as a special feature of Dystopian August, I am going to tell you guys a story. Two stories in fact! This i s largely an experimental feature. We'll see how it goes. Let me know if you like it!

BAAA

Author: David Macaulay
Pages: 64
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Source: Bought

Description from Goodreads:
After the last person has gone from the earth, sheep take over the world, make the same mistakes as humans, and eventually disappear as well.

Review:
BAAAA by David Macualay is, without a doubt, my favorite picture book of all time, due, largely, to the fact that it is one of the least appropriate for children picture books. BAAA would fall, I suppose, under the heading of post-apocalyptic perhaps more than dystopian, since clearly something happened to clear out all of the humans, though it's really not clear what since they left good behind as well as undamaged good. That part is a mystery, a creepy, creepy mystery.

This picture book will likely horrify any children that happen to read it, assuming they figure out that soylent green is people. Because of that fact, this book has never been particularly successful. The picture book format targets very young readers, but the subject matter and dark humor, with lots of intelligent references (Casablanca is one), make this a treasure for adults, who will, likely, never discover it. Most libraries, I believe, do not carry it, and, if they do, probably not in the picture book section.

BAAA is an underrated gem of a book, coming at twice the length of the standard picture book. This is one to buy and enjoy for yourself, not to share with the kiddies.

Vlog:

The Little Stormdancer

Author: Jay Kristoff
Pages: 20
Publisher: Self-Published

Source: Won from Claire Legrand

Description from Me:
A picture book companion to Jay's fantabulous steampunk dystopia Stormdancer.

Review:
As you may have already seen, I loved Jay Kristoff's Stormdancer with my whole heart. You should check out my review and interview of Jay while you're here. Or not. You know. Whatever.

This picture book proves that Jay has EVEN MORE TALENT. Like he needed it. Seriously, can't you leave any talents for the regular people? You do know people are boring without flaws, right?

In The Little Stormdancer, an incredibly brief, simple tale set in the same world as Stormdancer, you get to follow Yukiko on a journey through a land filled with smoke and noisy machines in search of the animals. The pictures are incredibly precious. Though I'm not generally a fan of the chibi style of art (gasp, I know), Yukiko and Buroo are so freaking adorable this way that I want to love them and squeeze them and put them in my pocket and keep them with me forever.

Vlog:

Remember: Every comment on a post during Dystopian August is an entry to win one of fourteen dystopian/post-apocalyptic novels IF you've filled out the form from this post.

Disappear - Jars of Clay

A Wind in the Door
Time Quintet, Book 2

Author: Madeleine L'Engle
Pages: 211
Publisher: Yearling

When I was younger, I loved A Wrinkle in Time, which I just reread and found to be not nearly as amazing as I remembered. The sequels I could not get through at the time, so I guess I like them better now than I did before, or I am less picky about my reading.

In this installment, Charles Wallace is sick and Meg has to pass three tests to help him. Like the first book, much of the novel seems seriously scientific for the audience at which it is aimed. There is, again, a serious biblical overtone to everything, although no specific references to god this time. Instead, there seems to be more of a pantheism vibe in this one.

The tests largely suffer from what I like to call "children's book syndrome," which basically means that the solution is incredibly obvious immediately, but the scenes go on and on. Pages are filled up by Meg whining about how impossible the tests are and how they're stupid and too hard and she can't do them and why does it have to be her and blah blah blah. In the first test for example, it is incredibly obvious which Mr. Jenkins is the real Mr. Jenkins, since he is the only one who has no clue what's going on and maintains consistency with his prior self. Honestly, Meg may be brightest at math, but I'm pretty sure she should have figured that out in no time.

L'Engle's philosophy is summed up pretty well in this comment by Proginoskes: "You are created matter, Sporos. You are part of the great plan, an indispensable part. You are needed, Sporos; you have your own unique share in the freedom of creation." She sees all bits of creation as equally important; size and state of being matter not. Actually, I think that, in theory, is pretty beautiful, but think she has a strange way of conveying it.

In some ways, this book brings to mind The Chronicles of Narnia, in the way there are always external characters coming in to guide the children to the correct answers. Even though the book is trying, on the one hand to show how valuable and strong kids are, there is also a message saying that they need grown ups to teach and save them.

Another conflicting element is in the section that reminds me of The Magic School Bus. Meg and company have to journey into one of Charles Wallace's mitochondria to save the whole universe, since size doesn't matter. Anyway, during this battle, speeches like the one above abound. Everyone and everything is just as important...and yet, it seems to me, Charles Wallace is most important, since the crisis in the war of Naming vs. Xing happened within his cells.

Despite all of my criticisms and observations, this was a decent read and I do plan to keep going into the next book. We'll see how that goes.

Rating: 2.5/5

"I'd really love to know
I really want to climb
Into your soul
Walk into your skin
Swim through your veins
See it from your eyes
I'd really love to try"

Cuckoo's Nest - Nickel Creek

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Author: Mark Twain
Narrator: Ian Lynch
Duration: 7 hrs, 12 mins
Publisher: Cherry Hill Publishing

Allow me to preface this review by informing my reader that I do not much care for southern accents. I do not find them appealing. I say this as a southern girl (with no accent...I'm Atlanta born and raised). This audiobook definitely plays up the southern-ness of the story. The narrator pulls out the accent, which, perfectly fitting to the story though it may be, annoys me greatly.

In middle school, I had to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which seemed to me at the time to be essentially a form of torture exacted by my teacher. I can say, gratefully, that this one was not so bad, although whether that is the audio format or the different, shorter book, it's hard to say.

The story did not hugely impress me, although it was interesting to learn the details of a book about which my only knowledge was drawn from Wishbone. True fact. As I was listening, I kept trying to remember what I knew about it and I just now realized that all I know is thanks to a spunky Jack Russell terrier. Man, I miss that show.

Anyway, the book was not too bad. Except for the blatant racism. The discussions of black people and of Injun Joe were certainly what would be expected of a man of Twain's time, but definitely are completely awful. Also, there was one scene in which Tom was talking about being a pirate in which he describes how pirates or robbers get ladies; his description is essentially of Stockholm Syndrome. Terrifying!!!

Lynch did, accent issues put aside, a really good job with the book. His voices were really unique, almost always allowing me to know who was speaking, even if I missed the part that said who was talking. Aunt Polly's voice definitely grated, even beyond the accent, but I thought his Tom definitely conveyed the excitement of a young, incorrigible boy.

The production of the audiobook seems to have been done pretty well. I liked the music, which had a sort of slouch-y, casual southern feel to it that fit perfectly. What was odd, though, was that the music seemed to occur at completely random intervals.

Beware of Darkness - George Harrison

A Wrinkle in Time
Time Quintet, Book 1

Author: Madeleine L'Engle
Pages: 190
Publisher: Dell Publishing Co.

I first read A Wrinkle in Time at some point during my elementary school career, probably for class, although I'm really not sure now. At the time, I was completely blown away by it. My memory of the plot and characters was not completely accurate, even though I believe I reread it sometime in high school as well. Like with The Giver, A Wrinkle in Time is a beloved book from childhood that does not retain all of its majesty when read as an adult.

This is not to say, of course, that it's not an interesting read or a good book, just that some things I didn't notice then I recognize now. For example, there's a definite theology to the book that I missed entirely. The references to God are minimal, but full of impact when they occur. Without doing a careful study, I cannot say precisely what L'Engle's theology is, but I'm not entirely sure that I like it.

Another thing that displeased was the ending. The resolution of the story comes suddenly and was, at least for me, pretty unsatisfying. I do wonder whether that resolution had some effect on J.K. Rowling, because it is in some ways reminiscent of the end of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Another comparison I was able to make was that the science fiction bits remind me rather of the first book in C.S. Lewis' space trilogy.

What I loved about this book, and still do, was the understanding that intelligence comes in many forms, and that people are not always whom you expect them to be. Meg and Charles Wallace are both considered slow because they do not live the way 'normal' smart people do. Calvin seems normal, but is actually a huge nerd, who, unfortunately, I do not love quite so much now as I did as a child. He was definitely one of my first loves. A Wrinkle in Time urges the reader to think of the world in a new way, and that is fantastic.

Plus, it has dystopian elements. Hurrah! (Should I be cheering for that?) Anyway, the dark thing that is surrounding planets and instilling negative feelings is working on Earth. It's good to know that much of the trouble humans have is actually not our fault, right? Dystopia via giant, evil alien attacker. Sweet. You could maybe also include the planet Camazotz, which is another kind of dystopian society, although one that was in good functioning order.

P.S. I have an old edition of this (not of value or anything) from 1976. It's the kind where the pages are not all set right, so that on some pages the print tilts obviously, on others the paragraphs abut the outer edge of the book, and on others, the worst pages, the text runs into the spine. This makes reading rather difficult and sometimes results in puzzling out portions of words, but, on some level, I find it really charming how each book came out slightly different. It makes it seem less mass-produced and more special and just for you.

P.P.S. Am I the only one who thinks the evil face on the cover, which I'm guessing is supposed to be the brain from Camazotz, is entirely reminiscent of the Face of Bo? Except for the whole being imbued with menace thing?

"Watch out now,
Take care beware the thoughts that linger
Winding up inside your head
The hopelessness around you
In the dead of night
Beware of sadness

It can hit you, it can hurt you -
Make you sore and what is more,
That is not what you are here for"

New Soul - Yael Naïm

Lily Renée, Escape Artist

Author: Trina Robbins
Illustrators: Anne Simmons & Mo Oh
Pages: 78 (for the story itself)
ARC Acquired from: Graphic Universe via NetGalley

Brief Summary:
Lily Renée grew up in Austria. Her childhood was a pleasant one until Hitler came to power, spreading his control into neighboring Austria. With that came the persecution of the Jews, including Lily and her family. She managed to escape as part of the Kindertransport in 1939. Eventually, she obtained a career in the comics industry.

Review:
One of my favorite historical time periods to read about and study is that of World War II. I also adore graphic novels, so when I saw this one I could not resist. This isn't one about plot or surprising the reader; the publisher's description, like mine, reveals the beginning, middle and end of her story. That's not really what it's about; instead, the focus is on the quality of life she experienced and the success she managed to acquire despite her many hardships.

The art in the novel is beautiful and feminine, looking a lot like a clothing catalog, the kind Lily herself posed for and drew for during her young adulthood. This style fits very well with the story, and gives it an upbeat feel that goes along with the overall message.

This tale touches on the Holocaust, but is not one to read if you want to find out about the many atrocities of that time period. It's just one Jewish woman's story, and she happens to have been, all things considered, very lucky, given what could have happened to her. I like the story for its viewpoint and because I learned about the Kindertransport.

I would definitely recommend this as a good entry into studies of World War II and the Holocaust for children, as it is not at all graphic and gives a basic overview of the timeline, explaining some basic vocabulary. The additional materials following the story itself would also be excellent for such a purpose.

"I'm a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake.
But why all this hate?"

The Trees Were Mistaken - Andrew Bird

Suddenly in the Depths of the Forest

Author: Amos Oz
Pages: 134
ARC Acquired from: Harcourt Books via NetGalley

Brief Summary:
There is a small town, much like other towns, except for one thing: there are no animals (except for humans). No bees buzz around the plants, no fish swim in the river and no wolves howl at the moon. All of the animals left, taken by the mountain demon Nehi. Everyone in the town just ignores the curse that has come over them, pretending they don't remember how things used to be. Except for some of the children, who sometimes think they hear or see an animal.

Review:
Suddenly in the Depths of the Forest reads like a folk tale/fairy tale, and actually frequently reminded me of a number of other stories, although it never actually turned into any of them. At one point, there was a clear reference to Persephone, for example. I expected a bit more fairy tale than folk tale, I guess, so I was a bit surprised to find it without a neat ending tied up in a bow.

The story is well-written and clever. I love stories about animals, even in their absence. Can you imagine a town with nothing but people? Ugh! Of course, I wouldn't mind getting rid of, say, all the cockroaches. What do they do anyway? And, given that I'm petrified of bees, I wouldn't mind them being gone either, except for the flowers and the honey. But kittens and dogs and horses and goats and everything? And beef and chicken and pork?

What the story seems mostly to be about is not so much the absence of the animals, but the way people react to the lack. In some ways, this seems to be a study of human nature, of hubris and curiosity, of bravery and fear, of cruelty and friendship. Really, the story doesn't fit into a particular box and is told in a somewhat atypical manner. I enjoyed this brief tale, and think it conveys an interesting message, although I think it's up to the reader whether the message is positive or negative.

P.S. About today's song. Andrew Bird is not always the most clear in his enunciation, so I was not able to locate or discern certain lyrics for this song. Nevertheless, I feel like he has the perfect feel for this book: nature, darkness, a bit of hope, and some craziness.

P.P.S. Although I usually post a picture from the cover I have, I'm not this time, because I like this cover so much better. Good change!

"This is a story, some kind of a story
This is a story about about a boy and girl,
A girl and a boy, a boy."

Art School - The Jam

The Unwanteds
The Unwanteds, Book 1

Author: Lisa McMann
Pages: 390
ARC Acquired from: Simon & Schuster GalleyGrab

Brief Summary:
In Quill, only the Wanted and the Necessary are kept around. Why waste limited resources on people whose skills run to things that do not help people survive or prepare for war against nebulous enemies? Who needs artists, musicians or actors? Not Quill, that's for sure. Once a year, the kids of age 13 are evaluated as Wanted (heading into the Quillitary), Necessary (work the farms and other work that must be done) and Unwanted (heading for death at the Lake of Boiling Oil). Alex is Unwanted; he's known that he would be for years, unlike his perfect brother Aaron. Turns out, though, that the Unwanted don't die like they're supposed to; instead, they live in a secret, magical paradise called Artimé.

Review:
Anyone who knows me well probably knows that I'm not a big fan of Lisa McMann. All of her prior books sounded good, but then were utter disappointments, largely because of the rather uninspired writing. I didn't even want to read this one, but felt compelled to because of its dystopian nature. Well, I am happy to report that McMann can actually write complex sentences. Hurrah! Now I am curious why she writes real sentences for a middle grade book, but not for young adult ones. Does she think teens will refuse to read anything that puts a subject and a verb in the same place?

Ranting over. This was a really fun read, very much unlike any of her previous books, both in style and tone. There are some dark aspects, but, for the most part, this is a story of a magical world that any kid would love to live in. I mean who doesn't want to go to a school where your room is made for you and full of stuff you love, where you can travel anywhere by tube, where you can eat whenever you want, where you take classes only in the arts and where you get to learn magic spells? I would still prefer Hogwarts, but Artimé is pretty cool.

My favorite character by far was Lani. She walks everywhere with her nose stuck in a book...what's not to like? Most of the others I didn't particularly bond with, but they were interesting. Actually, the one I disliked the most was Marcus Today, founder of Artimé. The problem is just that he kind of creeped me out, although I'm not really sure why. I think he reminds me a little bit of Willy Wonka that way.

The dystopian elements are pretty minimal, mostly just in the first chapter or two, so if that's what you want, you probably be disappointed. If you're looking for a fun story that glorifies the arts or you just love stories of magic, give this one a try, even if, like me, you were unimpressed by McMann's previous efforts.

"Anything that you want to do, anyplace that you want to go
Don't need permission for everything that you want
Any taste that you feel is right
Wear any clothes just as long as they're bright
Say what you want, cause this is a new art school"

Not Afraid - Eminem

Pearl Verses the World

Author: Sally Murphy
Illustrator: Heather Potter
Pages: 75
ARC Acquired from: Candlewick via NetGalley

Brief Summary:
Pearl's language arts teacher is educating her class on poetry and they are all ordered to write rhyming poems on a number of subjects for days and days. Pearl does not approve, because her poems do not rhyme. She learned about poetry from her grandmother, who can no longer read poems or walk or talk, only lie in bed drooling, taken care of by Pearl's mother.

Review:
When I was a kid, I remember going through similar lessons on poetry, although I don't think the unit was anywhere near this extensive, and I hated them. Of course, the stress was more on the different kinds of poetry than just on the rhyming ones. Here's the thing: I don't understand poetry that doesn't rhyme. For the most part, poetry just seems (unfairly) to me to be prose that has been formatted differently. Blank verse, especially, confuses the heck out of me logical-minded brain. Even now, I envy Pearl her ability to speak in poetry.

Pearl's poems are simple and charming. They cover her roving thoughts on her grandmother's health, death, social groups at school, poetry, gender roles, family and boys. Pearl has a definite personality that comes across in her meandering evaluations of certain topics, like fairy tales: "But I wonder, / Why does the prince need to be handsome? / I wonder if all princes / are supposed to be handsome" (9). She also wonders why the princesses don't just save themselves. Good question, Pearl. Something tells me she won't much like Twilight when she reads it.

Pearl Verses the World is a sweet, simple story, ideal for children dealing with the loss of a loved one. Or, perhaps, just for those who love poetry, whether or not it rhymes. As Pearl poets (verbed!), "Rhyme is okay sometimes, / but my poems don't rhyme / and neither do I" (4). Ergo why I made what is probably the strangest song association with this book for children; I just think Pearl and Eminem would see eye to eye on this point about the art of poetry/rapping.

"I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap"

Le Festin - Camille

Bless This Mouse

Author: Lois Lowry
Illustrator: Eric Rohmann
Pages: 152
ARC Acquired from: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt via NetGalley

Brief Summary:
Hildegarde is the head mouse of the church where they all reside, 219 in total. She keeps the population down and enforces rules so that the mice are not discovered. She works hard to prevent the Great X, which results in huge losses every time it happens. Once a year too, she must prevent anyone from being harmed by a cat on the day of the feast for St. Francis. While doing all of this, Hildegarde also has to protect her position as head mouse from the obnoxious, power-hungry Lucretia.

Review:
Let me begin by saying that my favorite part of the story were the illustrations. The writing is good, as one expects from Lois Lowry, but the pictures were just so charming. I love looking at them, and they were a large part of why I requested this title from NetGalley, even though children's fiction is not my particular niche.

The story is cute and simple, teaching children some big words, like narthex ans sacristy, without feeling at all like a lesson. In fact, although the mice live in the church and worship themselves, it does not feel at all like Lois Lowry is trying to indoctrinate children. There seems to be no intention of conversion here; this is just where the story happens to be set.

The mice are definitely humanized, which is cool. The only thing I didn't like about the story was the way that that was done. I didn't mind the mice talking in their own language at all or they're ability to read or listen in on conversations. What bothered me is that they are depicted wearing clothing, which is cute, but I don't think is even accurate to the story so far as I can tell. Nor did I like that a mouse was able to converse with a human at the end. If that were so easy, then they would have done so long ago. In a fantasy, I would not mind at all (for example, the mice in The 10th Kingdom), but this seems to be set in the real world. That just seemed a bit jumbled to me, and to weaken the plot up to that point.

Despite those slight weaknesses, though, this was an exceedingly cute story. Fans of children's literature about animals should love it and I would definitely recommend it as a present to children who are reading chapter books and expanding their vocabularies. Today's song comes from the Ratatouille soundtrack, because they both have cute mice; I don't care that these mice are not remotely French. :-)

Funky Town - Lipps Inc.

A Tale of Two Castles

Author: Gail Carson Levine
Pages: 216
ARC Acquired from: HarperCollins Children's via NetGalley

Brief Summary:
Elodie leaves her home on the island of Lahnt, and her beloved mother and father, to travel to the closest big city, Two Castles, so named for its two castles, one owned by the king and the other by the much-feared ogre. Fourteen year old Elodie wants to be a mansioner, an actor, and hopes to obtain an internship. On the boat to Two Castles, she learns that free apprenticeships are a thing of the past and she does not have enough money to buy a meal, let alone to purchase a place as an apprentice. Desperate, she cannot turn down the offer to serve as the town dragon's assistant, even though she's a bit afraid that she will end up his dinner.

Review:
My only prior experience with Gail Carson Levine was Ella Enchanted, which, honestly, I did not like. I had seen the movie first and thought it was better (if not necessarily good). Still, I wanted to give Levine another chance because I know so many people who adore her books. Plus, I love fairy tales and she does tons of those.

A Tale of Two Castles fits into that mold; it is a revisionist, postmodern telling of Puss in the Boots. The ogre who can change into any animal is there, as is the miller's son who inherited no property and uses his cat to make money dishonestly. However, the good guys in the fairy tale are the bad guys here, and vice versa. The ogre is vulnerable to cats, peculiarly so. Apparently, cats wish so hard for him to become a mouse that he cannot help doing so. I think that's ridiculous, because if it works for cats, a whole bunch of people, if they could agree, ought to be able to wish him into a particular form as well.

Another thing that annoyed me about this story was its repetitiveness. There were certain words and concepts that Levine kept using, so much so that it rather felt like some sort of lesson intended to teach children the meaning of terms like 'whited sepulchre.' A quirk of her fantasy world was that dragons were meant to be genderless, at least so far as humans are allowed to know, so they are to be called IT. Not It or it, IT. Ugh! The dragon's laugh also irritated me: 'enh enh enh.'

The dragon was still, perhaps, a better character than Elodie. She does not seem to have been very well conceived, as some of her traits are remarkably inconsistent. She begins as the starry-eyed arrival, a stupid farm girl, with no skill for anything but acting. She is trusting of people who, from my point of view, are obviously hiding something and mistrusting of those who only want to help her. The only scenes where I liked her at all were those where she mansioned (especially when she acted out Thisbe with an apple as her Pyramus).

The moment that would have made me throw the book across the room, if I weren't reading it as an e-book on my computer, was when suddenly Elodie, country bumpkin, knew everything about poisons ever: "I sniffed my bowl. The scent was faint but detectable: eastern wasp powder...The poison acted in an hour or two, caused chills, fever, tremors, a tight throat, death" (190). Really? There was no attempt at an explanation for why Elodie would ever know this.

Also awkward was Elodie's relationship with the ogre. She says that she loves him, but I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a friend love or a they're going to get married someday love. I also don't know how that would work and I have no idea how old he is. So, I was mostly just creeped out by the possibility.

A Tale of Two Castles had a lot of possibility, but was very poorly executed, with uneven characters, use of diction that felt like a vocabulary lesson, and unclear resolution.

"Gotta make a move to a
Town that's right for me"

Pure Imagination - Gene Wilder

A Little Princess

Author: Frances Hodgson Burnett
Genre: children's literature
Pages: 199
Publisher (of this terrifying edition on the right): Sterling Publishing, Co.

I am going to deviate from my standard formula here (and will probably do likewise for other books as well known as this one) and skip the summary portion. I am assuming that a good number of people will have grown up with this story, like I did. I actually have never read this book before (maybe...I might have read it when I was quite young, but this is a true statement so far as I recall). I usually post a picture of the cover of the edition I read, but I was really tempted not to here. Check out the ridiculously terrifying cover on my library copy!

Sara Crewe is a child gifted with a remarkable imagination, intelligence and a doting father. When her father dies, her intelligence is useful certainly, but it is her imagination that really pulls her through the tough times. She wonders in the beginning of the book whether she is actually nice or not, because she has never experienced a hardship. I really loved that when hardship came, she struggled to maintain her princess demeanor. She got angry and wanted to respond spitefully to ill treatment, but made the conscious decision to rise above. This makes Sara feel like a real girl, not like some absurd Pollyanna.

I am always happy to find another book lover, and such is Sara Crewe. One of the most trying moments of the book for her in her battle to keep her temper is when her reading is interrupted: "Never did she find anything so difficult as to keep herself from losing her temper when she was suddenly disturbed while absorbed in a book. People who are fond of books know the feeling of irritation which sweeps over them at such a moment." Delightful.

There was one element of the story that is a bit...odd...from a modern perspective. That is that the Indian servant, Ram Dass, watches Sara while she is inside and even comes into the room while she is sleeping. His intentions are entirely noble and he is doing good. Still...it's hard not to be at least a wee bit creeped out by that these days.

Although a children's book, this classic loses nothing when read by an older audience. I highly recommend this to anyone who believes in magic! Also, if you haven't seen it, definitely check out the 1995 film version, because it manages to capture the magic of the book and even improve upon the story (in my opinion)!

"If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanna change the world?
There's nothing
To it

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be"

Where Do the Children Play? - Cat Stevens

The Limit

Author: Kristen Landon
Genre: young adult/children's, adventure
Pages: 291
Publisher: Aladdin

Brief Summary:
In Landon's version of America's future, the government has created an agency to deal with the rampant debt: the FDRA (Federal Debt Rehabilitation Agency). The FDRA offers four options to anyone who goes over their credit limit. Matt, 13-years-old, is shocked when his family goes over the limit at the grocery store. He is even more upset when the FDRA comes for him; FDO 169 Option D has been selected for his family. This means that Matt has to go to a workhouse and work off his family's debt. Luckily for Matt, he's super intelligent, which means he gets to live on the plush top floor. Everything wouldn't be so bad, except that his email won't work, so he can't communicate with his parents or sisters. Curious about what's happening, Matt hacks into the computer system and finds some worrying information.

Review:
I picked up this book because I thought it was a dystopia. But it's not really. I definitely have some reservations about this society's systems, but they definitely don't qualify as dystopia levels of horror. The only worrying aspect mentioned besides the workhouses for kids (who get younger and younger as the novel progresses) was that old people, when unable to care for themselves anymore, are forced in to homes. When this happens, all of their stuff, except for a few trinkets to serve as memorabilia, is sold off to pay for the costs of the old folk's home, which I'm sure is super nice.

I do wonder what happens when single people or married individuals without progeny go over their limit. They can't send a kid, so I guess they use the other three options, but that seems sort of uneven and unfair. For the most part though, the future seems pretty believable, although child labor laws might prevent it. Maybe not though, since the kids only work a couple hours each day, spending the rest of the work day on school work. The children at the workhouses actually get a better education than those in the schools, because they have personal tutoring tailored to their abilities.

As mentioned above, this is not a dystopia really. More of an adventure/thriller for children. I almost expected the story to end with "It would have worked, if it weren't for you meddling kids," accompanied by a fist shake. Landon's book is engaging and presents and interesting futuristic America, but definitely aimed at older children/younger teens.

"Well I think it's fine, building jumbo planes.
Or taking a ride on a cosmic train.
Switch on summer from a slot machine.
Yes, get what you want to if you want, 'cause you can get anything.

I know we've come a long way,
We're changing day to day,
But tell me, where do the children play?"