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A Reader of Fictions: Top Ten Dystopias That I Would Not Survive

A Reader of Fictions

Book Reviews for Just About Every Kind of Book

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Top Ten Dystopias That I Would Not Survive

In pretty much every way, I am not equipped for life in a dystopian and/or post-apocalyptic society. I'm not strong, I'm not fast, and I live in fear of pain. Oh, and I'm vaguely uncoordinated. Basically, my hope in most of them would be to die as quickly as possible.

10. Monument 14 - Emmy Laybourne (Goodreads|my review)

Basic Plot: Every disaster ever happens, such as monstrous hail and then with leaking chemicals that affect people's brain chemistry in nasty ways.

Why I Would Die: Well, assuming I was in the same scenario as the kids (aka in the Walmart type deal), I wouldn't...for a while. Let me just say: NO ONE WOULD GET ME TO LEAVE THAT STORE OR LET ANYONE IN. I would read every book in the store, do all of the crossword puzzles and eat until the food was gone. Unfortunately, either the food will run out someday or someone will get in and kill me to take my noms.

9. Divergent - Veronica Roth (Goodreads|my review)

Basic Plot: For somewhat unclear reasons, people are divided into five factions and have to stay in their groups.

Why I Would Die: I am not a joiner. In high school, I was only in one club all four years (German club, which was very non-demanding. In college, I wasn't in ANY club all four years. Supposedly this means you won't succeed, but I did just fine. I don't like forced group interactions. Presumably I could survive the actual rites involved in being an Erudite, but I would probably get kicked out for skipping meetings...and I am not going to thrive in a homeless lifestyle.

8. Dualed - Elsie Chapman (Goodreads)

Basic Plot: To make sure the strongest survive, you have an identical alternate out there. Only one of you can survive. Winner of a to-the-death competition gets to live, or both die.

Why I Would Die: Because my Alt would kill me. Or maybe we're both chickens, so then we'll both die. Either way, this really doesn't look good for me, unless my Alt catches a disease and dies before we have to kill each other or is dropped on her head a lot as a child.

7. The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins (Goodreads) / Battle Royale - Koushun Takami (Goodreads|my review)

Basic Plot: Teens are forced to kill one another in a bloody, violent battle for the entertainment of the masses and to teach those masses a somewhat vague lesson in obedience.

Why I Would Die: You may be wondering why this is so low on the list. Well, I figure my odds of not getting chosen to participate are pretty high. However, if I did, I would just wait at the opening and let myself be dispatched in the initial slaughter. I'm slow, weak and have never wielded a weapon. No sense in dragging out the inevitable.

6. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood (Goodreads) / Defiance - C. J. Redwine (Goodreads|my review)

Basic Plot: Women have no rights...and, you know, some other stuff.

Why I Would Die: I WANT RIGHTS, GODDAMN IT. In Defiance, for example, women can only walk about if accompanied by a male guardian. Eff that. In The Handmaid's Tale, most women don't even get names of their own; they're simply property. I belong to no one!

5. Bumped - Megan McCafferty (Goodreads|my review) / Eve - Anna Carey (Goodreads|my review)

Basic Plot: Virus wiped out reproductive capabilities and/or population for many, so teen girls are expected to do much birthing.

Why I Would Die: Oh HELL to the no will I be birthing any babies, not to keep or for someone else. The thought just makes me want to clamp my legs together forever.

4. Article 5 - Kristen Simmons (Goodreads|my review)

Basic Plot: Conservatives take over the country out of fear of terrorism.

Why I Would Die: I don't take being told what to do very well. No criticism of my country allowed? I don't think so. In Article 5, there are also many banned books that they do sweeps for. Chances that I many of the books I own would be banned: 100%. On top of that, women are supposed to be PROPER ladies again. That sure sounds like me, no?

3. The Bone World Trilogy - Peadar Ó Guilín (Goodreads|my reviews)

Basic Plot: Cannibals and sky society. I can't give you more than that.

Why I Would Die: I would last .2 seconds in the cannibal society. Again, I am utterly crap at fighting and I'm a picky eater, so I don't think human flesh is going on the menu, and the monster flesh might be even more upsetting. Then, in book two, we get to go to the technological society up in the sky, which I could maybe survive, except that being in big crowds can give me panic attacks, so...no.


2. Ashfall - Mike Mullin (Goodreads|my review)

Basic Plot: The supervolcano under Yellowstone explodes.

Why I Would Die: I'm far enough from Yellowstone that I would miss out on a lot of the worst, thankfully, but there's still the issue with food being scarce and the government cracking down. Besides, that would then cause other crazy changes to the weather, and I really just don't see me surviving if the craziness spreads to the southeast. Again, I'm not strong and I don't have food-growing know how.

1. All of the Post-Apocalyptic Zombie/Vampire Books:

Examples: The Newsflesh Trilogy - Mira Grant (Goodreads|my reviews) / The Weepers - Susanne Winnacker (Goodreads|my review) / This Is Not a Test - Courtney Summers (Goodreads|my review) / The Hunt - Andrew Fukuda (Goodreads|my review) / The Immortal Rules - Julie Kagawa (Goodreads|my review)

Basic Plot: Things that want to eat you.

Why I Would Die: I am slow and delicious.


So, everyone, what do you think your odds are?

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42 Comments:

Blogger Aline Tobing said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

August 14, 2012 at 1:03 AM  
Blogger Aline Tobing said...

LOL great choices! Although I think I could still survive in Divergent dystopian world but I would probably choose Amity because that's the safest lol

Number one is definitely the scariest!

August 14, 2012 at 1:04 AM  
Blogger Lilian said...

Divergent isn't even remotely "scary" to me, so I think I would be fine. Even jumping off trains and buildings sounds fun. I love heights. But then I love my books so...ERUDITE HERE I COME.

I admit Battle Royale sounds fun. Though I'd probably commit suicide.

August 14, 2012 at 4:39 AM  
Blogger Kimberly @ On the Wings of Books said...

Love this! I pretty much agree with you in all points because I so would not survive this stuff! I have mentioned more than once that if I were selected in the Hunger Games I would just jump off early and get it over with because I know I wouldn't make it.

August 14, 2012 at 6:08 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Yeah, Divergent was a bit of a stretch, but meh. Basically, I would be critical of their system (though I don't see how all of the erudites could NOT be), and I don't think they would approve. Then I would be forced to live on the streets, and just no.

Right? We are so tasty!

August 14, 2012 at 8:21 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh, I didn't think Divergent was scary. I COULD NOT BE A DAUNTLESS, though. I am not jumping off all of the things. I also don't want to have to share a room with so many other people. Hell to the no. Although, I probably would make a better dauntless than abnegation or amity, because, yeah.

Battle Royale does NOT sound fun. You are a crazy face.

August 14, 2012 at 8:23 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Right? Let's just clear the field for the real contenders! I might even try to talk the person from my group into doing it, so that I know that I will be killed properly, as in not made to be half alive for a while. No pain, please! OR if I could find some of those death berries, that would be great.

August 14, 2012 at 8:24 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

I like to think that I could survive any sort of fighting for survival situation (this has never been tested and I hope it never is), but something like Handmaiden's Tale/Bumped/anything where women have to be proper/have to give birth/are expected to obey...I'm getting killed in some sort of rebellion.

August 14, 2012 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger cleemckenzie said...

I'm definitely not equipped for anything even smacking of dystrophia. I guess that's why I don't read it. I'd rather envision a world where things are better, not worse or dire. Call me Pollyanna and I'll answer.

August 14, 2012 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Rebellion is what would take me down in a lot of these. I mean, I sort of think I would just do what I was told in fear of the consequences, but...I really hate authority, so...

Go you with the surviving a fighting one. You have been doing all that running, which probably helps.

August 14, 2012 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

We should definitely try to prevent anything like these coming to pass!

August 14, 2012 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger Lisa Cox said...

Maybe you should come live by me, LOL. We just recently bought 3 acres in a very rural area so that I can raise chickens, have a garden, maybe a couple cows and a horse or 2. Plus the fact that I can shoot a gun, plant and grow food, cook, and if needed, kill and dress that food.
You're "Why I Would Die" reasons made me laugh so much.

August 14, 2012 at 1:07 PM  
Blogger Steena said...

If I had survived the initial uprising, I think I could survive the Newsflesh trilogy. I'm good at staying put and have no intention of Irwining myself into a dangerous situation. Lock down here I come. If I ever had to fight and/or run for my life, I'm done for. I am not built for stamina.

August 14, 2012 at 2:11 PM  
Blogger Alessandra @Out of the Blue said...

I don't think I would be able to survive any dystopian/apocalyptic scenario. My survival skills are unfortunately quite limited, and it's been proved I can't keep a cool head in a crisis. My best option would probably be to go into hiding, keep my fingers crossed, and hope for the best.

August 14, 2012 at 2:43 PM  
Blogger Adriana said...

Divergent. Ugh... Too extreme for me. I could never be in Dauntless. I am supposedly in Candor but I don't think I'm that big of a jerk sheesh...

".. or is dropped on her head a lot as a child" OMG! You did not just say that! I'm giggling over here.

Ew. Bumped sounds freaky but you wouldn't want to be a mother? I wouldn't want to be forced so I would hate it but you make it sounds like torture to have a baby.

Mmmm Hmmmm yeah. I will say no to being a "proper" lady too. I would make it so that I was stronger than a lot of the boys and laugh at them when I beat them up plus no good books would make my heart die.

You got another picky eater here and I hope even if I wasn't I wouldn't eat a person.

I do not know where Yellowstone is and that is sad. I could learn how to fish? But apparently Florida is going to be under water in a couple of decades...

lolololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "I am slow and delicious" I don't think I'm delicious but you never know. I've said for a little while know that my brother is this strong guy who seems like he would be a main character type and usually never do they die so I would just hang out with him and climb trees.... I need to learn how to climb trees...

Why no Hunger Games? Almost everyone would die in 5 seconds especially if by some cruel fate there were Olympic winners there. That would suck!

August 14, 2012 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger Adriana said...

Oh wow I missed where you said Hunger Games because I am special -__-

August 14, 2012 at 4:09 PM  
Blogger Lilian said...

I don't want to be in Amity because I don't want to farm. And Abnegation just sounds super gloomy and boring.

"You are a crazy face."
Thank you. That teaches you not to mess with me. *sharpens knives*

August 14, 2012 at 4:31 PM  
Blogger aLilLacey said...

Ha ha. I love your input on these top ten. Especially Bumped. Ha ha. And yes sometimes i think why are you even trying to survive. There's nothing out there for you!! Run away and find a hole to crawl into.

August 14, 2012 at 9:28 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Yeah, I feel like I would be so tempted to just give up! I mean, how much hope is there that things will improve?!?!?!

August 15, 2012 at 7:42 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

I'm sure you're not that much of a jerk. I could make a good Candor, though, probably, if I weren't an Erudite.

I may have just said that....

No, I wouldn't want to be a mother. It's just not for me. However, I acknowledge that many people love it. This list is for me personally and babies scare me.

I also hope I wouldn't eat a person. The people who do in books are always awful, like biker gangs and stuff.

Google can tell you!

Well, I don't think I'm delicious, but I would like to believe that zombies and vampires would think so, although I suppose I would be better off I tasted like black licorice. Still, it would be seriously insulting if they turned up their noses.

August 15, 2012 at 7:46 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Wow, you sound so much better prepared for the apocalypse!

August 15, 2012 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

True. I probably could do, but I'm not sure about my initial odds. Yup, if it comes to fighting/running, I'm done for in any scenario. If a swift walk will do, I'll probably be okay.

August 15, 2012 at 7:48 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Eh, there are always a couple. Like The Selection? I could totally survive that. Oh no, caste system! Yeah, not buying it. Easy peasy.

August 15, 2012 at 7:48 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I think I'd survive Divergent just fine. I'd go in a corner with a book or five (in the Erudite faction, obviously), and I'm sure people would understand why I skipped the meetings, as many of them probably did, too. haha.

With the survival ones, I think I'd survive out of sheer stubbornness. Also, if I'm able to hide out with my books, I wouldn't even get bored. Hmm, I'm starting to sense a survival requirement pattern here. haha.

As far as Hunger Games is concerned, I think I'd be like Foxface for most of it (she was the one that just kinda hid, right? I may be thinking of the wrong person, but I hope you know which character I'm referring to), and then somehow get the final person to end themselves somehow, thus ensuring my survival and eternal glory.

August 15, 2012 at 8:35 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Maybe the Erudites don't have meetings? Then I'd be okay. Strangely enough, despite Roth's amazing world building, I am left with oodles of questions.

Books make everything better.

She hid, but she was also really fast. I am REALLY slow. And you only run for donuts.

August 16, 2012 at 4:24 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

haha, that's true! Maybe donuts would be the thing that they dropped to me in the Games. Medical supplies? Pfft! Bring on the sugar!

August 16, 2012 at 5:36 PM  
Blogger Christy Maurer said...

This is hilarious! I'm thinking that as long as I have Norman Reedus aka Darrell on The Walking Dead with me in every possible scenario in the books, I'll be good to go. And, yes, I'm planning on having him with me :) And heck yes, I'd birth his babies!

August 16, 2012 at 8:07 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Bahaha. You would fight like Katsa from Graceling for donuts.

August 17, 2012 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Speaking of donuts, I AM SO HUNGRY.

August 17, 2012 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Well, dang, if we can bring along a fictional character, I call Katsa from Graceling. Or, probably, I should bring a sexy man...hmmm...I'll need to think about which one I want.

August 17, 2012 at 8:52 AM  
Blogger Christy Maurer said...

Totally if they are going to make us repopulate the earth!

August 17, 2012 at 4:47 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

I still don't want babies, haha! Still. You need someone hot to comfort you while the world ends.

August 17, 2012 at 4:49 PM  
Blogger Christy Maurer said...

Very true...and apparently to bring you donuts lol.

August 17, 2012 at 4:49 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

LOL.

Actually, that's my friend Heather. I would prefer that he bring me bagels or chicken biscuits. :)

August 17, 2012 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger Christy Maurer said...

I'd prefer he take me to the Cheesecake Factory :)

August 17, 2012 at 5:34 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Mmmm, delicious choice.

August 19, 2012 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger Kat Balcombe said...

I'd totally never leave the store if I was in Monument 14 - give up all that candy for deadly toxic spill and storms? Uh uh, no way.

And I'd totally be dead before the end of Battle Royale - knowing my luck my weapon would be a pencil or something equally stupid.

August 21, 2012 at 2:48 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Right? No matter how much I missed my family, the only way you would get me to leave would be when the stores were down to what I could carry. Then I might set out...in search of another store.

OMG. I forgot about that part. I'd probably get a nail file, but one of the ones made out of sandpaper, not even metal. WHY I NO CAN HAVE MACHINE GUN?

August 21, 2012 at 3:03 PM  
Blogger M.A.D. said...

Okay, I have got to say that those are some of the truest/funniest reasons every!! lol
Oh, dear, I'm in the same boat and can't think of a single dystopian that I'd survive (longer than the initial first three pages).

#6 - With you all the way on that!! I'd be furious and wouldn't make any bones to hide it! Women as property? Eff that!!

Christina, have you read The Hunt yet by Andrew Fukuda?? Just the first page alone is frightening, and there's no way I could survive trying to *fake* my way (don't want to give out too many spoilers here) ... anyhoo, read it if you haven't, it's terrific :D

Mary DeBorde M.A.D.

August 22, 2012 at 1:56 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Thanks! Glad it amused you!

Right? Women are the best. Men need to get over themselves.

I have! It would definitely go in that category with all of the zombies and vampires. I wouldn't survive as a human in that at all.

The one I think I COULD survive is The Selection for sure. I have to dress up in pretty things? OH NO. And if I lose, I have to go back home and live in a rigid social hierarchy? I'll deal.

August 22, 2012 at 1:59 PM  
Blogger trayche said...

I'd survive Divergent maybe, but the others... :D I sure wouldn't survive The Hunger Games lol

August 30, 2012 at 9:00 AM  
Blogger Jaime Lester said...

I would survive, but I would SO not be happy about it! Well, I may not survive them all, but I would fight like heck to stay alive.

August 30, 2012 at 10:38 PM  

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