Review: Love in the Time of Global Warming

Love in the Time of Global Warming

Author: Francesca Lia Block
Pages: 240
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co. (BYR)
Publication Date: August 27, 2013
Read: August 15-16, 2013
Source: ARC from publisher

Description from Goodreads:
Seventeen-year-old Penelope (Pen) has lost everything—her home, her parents, and her ten-year-old brother. Like a female Odysseus in search of home, she navigates a dark world full of strange creatures, gathers companions and loses them, finds love and loses it, and faces her mortal enemy.

In her signature style, Francesca Lia Block has created a world that is beautiful in its destruction and as frightening as it is lovely. At the helm is Pen, a strong heroine who holds hope and love in her hands and refuses to be defeated.

First Sentence: "The building has gold columns and a massive doorway, a mural depicting Giants, with small bodies sticking out of their mouths like cigarettes."

Review:

Let it not be said that I don't read with an open mind. There's a lot of talk on Goodreads and in the book blogging community about "hate reading" and whether or not one should do it. Deciding to read Love in the Time of Global Warming might have seemed a questionable choice, because I absolutely loathed with every fiber of my being the first and only Francesca Lia Block book that I read: Weetzie Bat. However, if I didn't risk possibly hating this one and feeling stupid for wasting my time or being deemed a "hate reader," I wouldn't have gotten to experience this amazing book. Even going into a book fearing the worst, there's a chance that you will be unexpectedly swept off your feet, and I've seen this happen to pretty much every blogger I know. So, surprisingly enough to me and to Bekka of Pretty Deadly Reviews who convinced me to read Love in the Time of Global Warming, I kind of loved this book.

My issue with Weetzie Bat was that the book read like I'd been unwilling forced into some sort of drug trip, which is not my thing in the slightest. The book is crazy and the writing annoyed me to no end. Love in the Time of Global Warming is definitely incredibly odd and a little bit crazy, but, for some reason, one I can't really put my finger on except to say that it just sort of comes together perfectly, this one worked for me.

The writing, while still more poetic and off the wall then I generally like, is this lyrical prose that fits perfectly with the story. Block makes excellent use of imagery and achieves a style that hearkens back to Homer's Odyssey while still being totally her own, which I really admire, because it's so tough to achieve.

What I really love about Love in the Time of Global Warming is that it's this genre mash up of awesomeness. Block blends together mythology, science fiction, post-apocalyptic, and magical realism into a book that should come out an incomprehensible mess, and may for some readers, but combined to be this brilliant, strange utterly unique little book for me.

There's this real blend of science fiction/post-apocalyptic with the retelling elements. While some aspects are explained with science, like the giants, others are where the magical realism comes into play, like the lotuses. Personally, I love magical realism and the way that it brought everything together and really made this retelling possible in a world no longer populated by gods and goddesses in our cultural imagination.

In no way is Love in the Time of Global Warming a strict retelling, but Block manages to bring in quite a few of the major plot elements, and they're clearly recognizable. Even better, Block doesn't have the tendency to go on and on in endless descriptions like Homer does. Also, Block takes a story that's very patriarchal, with the only women vile seductresses or waiting at home for their men, and makes it an LGBT love story with a heroine, slyly named Penelope in a nod to the one awesome woman in Homer's work, instead of a hero. All of the main characters have LGBT leanings and they're all messed up, but ultimately likable people with more to them than what initially meets the eye. In some ways, the apocalypse is what frees them to be who they are, because the end of the world really puts life into perspective.

My only reservations are these: one personal and one more analytical. On a personal note, I didn't feel any real emotional connection, this not being so much a character-driven story. In fact, I'm amazed I liked it so much given that I'm such a character-based reader, however the writing and story really resonated and struck the perfect tone. Analytically, there was a little plot line about Pen's parents that I didn't really think was entirely necessary. I didn't remember this from The Odyssey, but apparently another account (as in not written by Homer), explains this little addition. While I can see why she did that, it felt rather out of place since not much really happened with regards to this small twist.

If you appreciate genre-bending novels, particularly those with magical realism, I urge you to give Love in the Time of Global Warming a try. It's a strange, unique book and won't be for everyone, but Francesca Lia Block has woven together something magical here.

Rating: 4/5

Favorite Quote:

"I sniff. 'What is it?'
     'Punch!' he laughs. 'I don't know. Something strong. We need something fucking strong, don't you think? The world actually ended. As in the apocalypse? We better have something strong.'"

Review: Solstice

Solstice

Author: P. J. Hoover
Pages: 384
Publisher: Tor Teen
Publication Date: June 18, 2013
Read: June 17-19, 2013
Source: ARC from publisher for review

Description from Goodreads:
Piper's world is dying.

Each day brings hotter temperatures and heat bubbles that threaten to destroy the earth. Amid this global heating crisis, Piper lives under the oppressive rule of her mother, who suffocates her even more than the weather does. Everything changes on her eighteenth birthday, when her mother is called away on a mysterious errand and Piper seizes her first opportunity for freedom.

Piper discovers a universe she never knew existed—a sphere of gods and monsters—and realizes that her world is not the only one in crisis. While gods battle for control of the Underworld, Piper’s life spirals out of control as she struggles to find the answer to the secret that has been kept from her since birth.

An imaginative melding of mythology and dystopia, Solstice is the first YA novel by talented newcomer P. J. Hoover.

First Sentence: "Mom says, 'Watch the heat today.'"

Review:

There's a special kind of sadness reserved for a book that starts out well, that you think you're going to be best friends with, but which, instead, goes somewhere that your heart and mind can't embrace. For me, Solstice is one such book. For the first hundred pages, Solstice was heading for a 3.5-4 star rating, but then the twist and the romance happened. Though not for me, Solstice does have good qualities and will no doubt be pleasing to a slew of other readers.

The first hundred pages of Solstice are solid post-apocalyptic, though I wouldn't really call the book dystopian myself, though really what a dystopia is has really lost all meaning for me by this point. The world Hoover has created is an eerily possible future earth, one beset by global warming. In Piper's world, one hundred degrees Fahrenheit is a cool day in Austin, TX. Going outside requires sunscreen pills and cool misting sprays at all times. Water comes in two temperatures: warm and hot. Air conditioning is used to cool buildings down to the upper 80s or 90s - any more than that is illegal. Governments around the world try to fix the heat with science, but the attempts are not proving promising.

In these opening chapters, Piper is cool-headed, thoughtful, and obedient to her overbearing mother. Other students look to her for advice and instructions during crises. Because of her mother's restrictions, she does feel a bit lonely, and wishes she were allowed to date like the other kids, especially since she's legally an adult at 18. For this reason, I wasn't bothered by her intense immediate attraction to the hot new boy at school who just happened to sit next to her in class and want to talk to her OR to the hot boy who came by her house claiming to be the son of one of her mother's colleagues. The girl has been toeing her mother's line for so long she was bound to crack eventually; she's entered her rebellious phase, as evidenced by the tattoo she gets with her best friend. That was all fine.

At this point, if you're concerned about spoilers, you may want to step away. I can't review this one without spoiling the big twist, because I have things I need to talk about to explain why my opinion changed about Solstice. The twist is discussed in the blurb above, but I generally ignore those and didn't know myself, so up to you.

Right around the one hundred page mark, Solstice becomes an entirely different book, a fantasy about Greek mythology. Unfortunately, the transition is marked with excruciatingly instalove-ridden romance, rather than action or good mythology. Hoover does bring the mythological elements to an interesting conclusion, but there was too much unfortunate romance before that got going that kept me from liking this book.

The romance elements have the unfortunate gender dynamics present in other young adult Persephone adaptations, like Abandon and The Goddess Test. Reese (Ares) and Shayne (Hades) are fighting for Piper's love, though she cannot figure out why (even though she's OBVIOUSLY Persephone from when the Greek myth stuff first starts, she won't figure that out until page 290). She instaloves (one week, people!) with Shayne, who refers to her as the "spoils" of his position in the Underworld and refuses to tell her anything, though, to be fair, there does end up being a reason for that later (though my opinion was set by the time I learned that). Whenever Piper gets near Reese, though, his intoxicating scent fills her with memories of their time together, fictional ones, and she cannot help making out with him. Only at the very end does she actually make any sort of informed choice about romance, mostly being led about by the men. The logical, thoughtful heroine of the beginning of the book disappears never to be seen again. Neither love interest ever gets personified beyond on nice strong guy and evil strong guy respectively.

Much as I can't personally get past the romance, I can appreciate the way that Hoover resolved everything. She does put an interesting twist on the relationship dynamics of the myth. Piper's relationship with her mother echoes the original tale, but puts a different spin on Demeter's desire to keep Persephone with her.

I'm torn on the resolution to the whole global warming plot of the beginning. Hoover does come back to that and deftly ties it into the mythology by explaining that it's always summer when Persephone's with her mother. That's pretty awesome on one level, but also really annoys me on a couple of others. From a mythology standpoint, I just don't think that her mother being happy would equal an increasingly hot summer, because it's not like the world was an arid desert until Persephone started spending six months in the Underworld every year. Also, I find the idea that global warming has been turned into a side effect of the squabbles of the gods, rather than of humans completely fucking up the planet, distasteful. I know it's just been done for the fictional value, but I still can't get completely behind it.

If, like me, you're not a fan of poorly characterized instalove romances, you may want to give Solstice a pass. However, if you're curious and not as easily frustrated by such things, there are a lot of cool things in Solstice for you to appreciate. I really like what Hoover did in theory, and I do think that she shows a lot of promise as an author; her writing is good and the concept is fantastic. Though Solstice didn't work for me, I'll be open to reading more of Hoover's books in the future.

Rating: 2/5

Favorite Quote:

"'So you missed me?' He tilts his head and waits for my answer.
     I move my hand, scratching a different head. 'I missed your dog.'"

Review: Defiance

Defiance
Defiance, Book 1

Author: Stephanie Tyler
Pages: 325
Publisher: Carina Press
Read: June 7-9, 2013
Source: Publisher for review

Description from Goodreads:
Rebelling against her legacy as the MC's princess, Tru Tennyson escaped the ruthless, male-dominated culture of the Defiance motorcycle club. Three years later, her newfound freedom is ripped away, thanks to a massive hybrid storm that killed millions. Now, in the post-Chaos world of semi-darkness and near-total anarchy where gangs rule, she discovers the dangerous world of Defiance may be the one thing that can keep her safe.

Tru is at the MC's mercy when she's dragged back to her former home … and to the only man she's ever pictured a future with. Caspar is the bastard son of the club's leader, her safe haven when life got rough — and her onetime lover the night she left. When Tru refuses to trade sex for power and be claimed by a rival club leader, she also dares to announce she wants Caspar instead, throwing the MC into turmoil.

Tru's brazen revolt could start a gang war and destroy the club from within. Now both Tru and the MC must wait for Caspar's response … and the inevitable fallout.

First Sentence: "From his perch on top of the Harley Fat Boy, Caspar waited Silas out as he looked toward the front gates of the Defiance Motorcycle Club's headquarters."

Review:

To explain why I read a romance novel with a dude on a motorcycle on the cover, I'm going to need to talk a bit about BEA. On Wednesday, I went to the Harlequin High Tea, and had a really great conversation with one of their editors. She asked me what I liked to read and ended up pitching Defiance to me, and, when she told me that her background included the Feminist Press, I was curious. Getting a review request for the same title when I got back convinced me that I should fit it into my schedule. It really surprised me how much fun I had reading Defiance, even if I do have some significant issues with the treatment of women in the novel.

Defiance falls into that subcategory of dystopian/post-apocalyptic literature where, in the event of an apocalypse the role of women reverts to that of a possession, useful for sex, cooking and cleaning. While I hate how common this basic premise is, I do think there's a reason it crops up so much. I wish I could say I didn't find that a believable vision of humanity's response to an apocalypse, that all the progress society's made in valuing women wouldn't be erased, but I can't. Plus, in Defiance, it' s set within a Motorcycle Club, which, from what little I know, isn't exactly a woman-centered place to begin with, so everything would be played up more strongly there.

Motorcycle clubs don't interest me at all, perhaps because of the sorts of gender roles and idiotic machismo that can be found within these pages in spades. Plus, the general lack of education in most of these characters - what intelligence there is is generally of the street smarts variety. There's a lot of slang, and antiquated ideas that women are to be owned and protected. The lucky women in the club are bonded to a man, belong to him, his to command, fuck and beat as he desires. She's his bitch (this phrasing is used). I'm not going to lie: I hate this shit. It's not cool at all. Being some guy's possession isn't romantic, and I don't like seeing Tru enjoying that.

However, the general trend throughout the plot is Tru and Caspar trying to improve the MC (Motorcycle Club). They want to stop the abuse of women, and make it so that women can hold more positions within the MC. Still not exactly a feminist read, but I can live with positive progress being made. It also helps that Tru and Caspar are really supportive of one another, and both very honest. Caspar doesn't hide everything from Tru, and he obviously would never hurt her or force her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

You might be wondering why it's set in a MC. Well, supposedly Defiance, the MC, was prepared for an apocalypse, building underground tunnels, sun lamps, means of getting water and growing food, etc. I honestly don't know enough about MCs to say whether that's realistic, so I just rolled with it. In this world, it's largely the rough who have survived: the military, cops, criminals, bikers. Soft, sweet people had more trouble surviving the Chaos, a world where killing to survive might be a necessity. Tyler doesn't hesitate to include violence, and it's definitely a sufficiently dark vision of the future.

Tyler also uses a really interesting narrative technique. One character, Mathias, has a first person perspective, where the rest is written in third person limited. Mathias isn't one of the main characters, so it's a unique choice. Mathias also happens to be unable to speak, so it's ironic that he's the only one given voice in the novel. Also, I really like Mathias, so I'm hoping he'll be a main character in one of the later books.

The reason I kept reading and am rating this so highly despite my serious concerns about the portrayal of the women, which is definitely still as beneath men at the best of times, is that it was really fun to read. I was flipping pages really quickly and curious to find out where it was going. Even with everything, I'm definitely planning to read the next book in the series. Of course, I'll be hoping to see more empowerment of women as the series continues, and if I don't the ratings may suffer. For those who are less particular about relationship dynamics in  romance, Defiance will no doubt be a fun read for you.

Rating: 3/5

Favorite Quote: "'I don't like rules, especially the unwritten ones that say I need to let myself be controlled by my man.'"

Review: The End Games

The End Games

Author: T. Michael Martin
Pages: 384
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Read: May 2-4, 2013
Source: YA Books Central for Review

Description from Goodreads:
It happened on Halloween.

The world ended.

And a dangerous Game brought it back to life.

Seventeen-year-old Michael and his five-year-old brother, Patrick, have been battling monsters in The Game for weeks.

In the rural mountains of West Virginia, armed with only their rifle and their love for each other, the brothers follow Instructions from the mysterious Game Master. They spend their days searching for survivors, their nights fighting endless hordes of “Bellows”—creatures that roam the dark, roaring for flesh. And at this Game, Michael and Patrick are very good.

But The Game is changing.

The Bellows are evolving.

The Game Master is leading Michael and Patrick to other survivors—survivors who don’t play by the rules.

And the brothers will never be the same.

T. Michael Martin’s debut novel is a transcendent thriller filled with electrifying action, searing emotional insight, and unexpected romance.

First Sentence: "Michael awoke in the dark to the screams again."

Review:

Bear with me, please, because The End Games is one of those novels with a twist fairly early on that makes reviewing the book without spoilers difficult. Still, I shall endeavor to sum up my basic thoughts while not revealing anything not mentioned in the blurb. T. Michael Martin's debut is a very strange book in pretty much every way: the plot, the characters, and, most significantly, stylistically. All of this add up to distinguish the novel from other post-apocalyptics that take on the concept of an outbreak that turns human into monsters.

The End Games is a zombie novel, though the Bellows are certainly not like the average zombies, except that they too are best taken out with a head shot, and that they were once human. The Bellows manage to be eerier. Rather than moaning like zombies generally do, the Bellows are like echoes, repeating any words they hear in a long shout. Of course, this is nice since you can hear them coming, but also freaking scary when you realize they're surrounding your position, and, since they're so loud, they're probably going to draw more Bellows to your position. In case that's not bad enough, they're evolving into something much worse.

What I think Martin does best here is the horror aspect. The End Games is pretty frightening, offering gore, monsters, battles, and psychological terror. Michael, a teen, and his five year old brother, Patrick, are trying to survive, to find a Safe Zone with other survivors, in this hellish Game. Getting through an apocalypse on your own would be bad enough but with a kid in tow? Yikes! When they do finally encounter other people, it's very hard to know who to trust and who's crazy, including with the brothers. All of this kept me engaged and curious.

There's a strong focus on family in The End Games, which I greatly appreciate. Michael is an amazing brother. He takes such good care of Patrick, not resenting him for making survival more difficult. In fact, Michael needs Patrick just as much, because he has to keep it together for Patrick, keep hope and motivation.

T. Michael Martin uses a very interesting storytelling method. The End Games is written almost like a reality show about a particular character. The narration is third person limited, following Michael. However, the narrator seems at times to interact with Michael, adding to the video game feel of the tale in what is a slightly discomfiting but powerful technique. Here are some examples of that:

"Dang, she's so cool.
     Dang, don't think that.
     Dang, why?
     Because of on account of this being the most horrible time to get a crush on a girl.
     Oh. Right. Daaaang."

"Keep going. You're scared, that's true, but."

In the first example, a lot of Martin's style is illustrated. Michael's thoughts are included throughout in italics, though whispers are as well and sometimes emphasis as shown here. Michael and a couple other characters speak in some sort of strange dialect and occasionally hold out words, like with that last "dang." You can also see the way the narrator just answered his question, and he in turn responded to that. Even more interesting, the narrator actually emulates Michael's way of speaking/thinking; the bulk of the narration is in standard American dialect. In the second, the narrator eggs Michael on, urging him not to give up in a desperate situation. While I do think this writing style is largely effective, it's very odd and will be disconcerting to some readers, especially the unidentifiable dialect used by the brothers.

Where The End Games left me cold was the characters. I don't care much about anyone. Of them all, Michael is the most likable, due to his sweet affection for his brother. However, Patrick actually creeps me out a lot. I kept expecting him to turn out to be some sort of new monster or something, because I found him that freaky. Spoiler: he's not. I couldn't care about the half-hearted romance or the deaths of any of the characters either. More time is spent on developing the creepiness than on the characters.

The End Games will be a great read for those who love horror tales, and new creepy monsters. Those who take an interest in unique storytelling will also want to check out this quirky debut.

Rating: 3/5

Favorite Quote: "Oh Nerd Joy, you are one of the things I miss most about the world Before."

Review: Reboot

Reboot
Reboot, Book 1

Author: Amy Tintera
Narrator: Khristine Hvam
Duration: 8 hrs, 42 mins
Publisher: Harper Audio
Source: Publisher for review

Description from Goodreads:
Five years ago, Wren Connolly was shot three times in the chest. After 178 minutes, she came back as a Reboot: stronger, faster, able to heal, and less emotional. The longer Reboots are dead, the less human they are when they return. Wren 178 is the deadliest Reboot in the Republic of Texas. Now seventeen years old, she serves as a soldier for HARC (Human Advancement and Repopulation Corporation).

Wren's favorite part of the job is training new Reboots, but her latest newbie—Callum Reyes—is the worst she's ever seen. As a 22, Callum is practically human. His reflexes are too slow, he's always asking questions, and his ever-present smile is freaking her out. Yet he's still her newbie. When Callum refuses to follow an order, Wren is given one last chance to get him in line—or she'll have to eliminate him. Wren has never disobeyed before and knows that if she does, she'll be eliminated, too. But she has also never felt as alive as she does around Callum.

The perfect soldier is done taking orders.

Review:

Reviews for Reboot have been all over the place, which basically meant I had to try it and see for myself. Ultimately, I'm sort of in the middle. Reboot's a lot of fun, especially in the first half, but also still fairly old hat for dystopian scenarios. I'm definitely glad to have read it, but I didn't love it either.

Why Did I Read This Book?
As I mentioned, curiosity. Sometimes, I'm more tempted to read books that get 1 star ratings from some and 4 from others than those that get a consistent 3 stars. I just have to know for myself what book has generated such disparate responses. Seriously, I was reading reviews and adding, removing, adding, removing, adding this book on Goodreads. It was ridiculous. The audio seemed like a good choice, because action books from first perspective often translate pretty well.

What's the Story Here?
In a post-apocalyptic world where all that remains of the US is Texas, a dystopian government has arisen in the form of HARC, a corporation that controls all of the things. Freaking corporations. Currently, if I had to guess a company that would become the dystopian overlord of us all, I would say Amazon, but maybe that's just because they keep buying up the book world. *side-eyes* As with so many dystopian/post-apocalyptic novels, there's a disease, which causes people to reboot. Basically, they're zombies, only they're hot (like vampires, they're themselves but with perfect skin and hair and bright eyes) and super strong and don't eat people. The reboots are known by their numbers, which are how long they were dead before they rose, with the larger numbers being the strongest and least human. Wren is 178, and she does everything by the book until a 22 disrupts her regimented life.

How are the Characters?
Okay, so I really liked the first part where Wren was all queen of the reboots and stuff. Unlike some ya assassins, Wren really does kill people and she even does so in front of the reader. On top of that, she likes killing, and doesn't even feel guilty about it. People are worthless to her, and she'd rather kill a human than look at it. Callum, the 22, is the only other well-developed character, and he's basically the opposite of Wren. Where she's the perfect soldier and very serious, he's happy and doesn't want to hurt a fly. In fact, even eating meat makes him sort of uncomfortable. I liked Callum consistently, but I loved Wren the bitchy reboot from the beginning of the book most of all.

And the Romance?
Here's the caveat. I just was not really feeling their romance. For me, it would have been more compelling if she hadn't been so interested in him right out of the gate. She's all like "omg, he's not afraid of me," and gets interested in him so quickly, which was necessary for the plot, but didn't really seem like Wren as established. Also, she goes from no emotions to ALL OF THE EMOTIONS. It just felt really sudden. She's this hardcore badass until she gets to know Callum and then she's blushing, gasping, and jumping at people's touches. Yes, she does have feelings, and I totally get that, but, from the glimpses showed of her past, I really doubt she's that demonstrative of a person at the best of times. I just never felt like Wren would be so lovey-dovey, even when she's in love. Basically, all of the things that happened with the romance made me roll my eyes. However, I do love the dynamics of the relationship, and how she is the strong one and he's the one who has to be saved. Then again, that would have been more powerful if the role reversal had been continued; she can love him and still be a cool, stern badass most of the time. When it came to the gushy stuff, she was all melty and blushing, and he was cocky and in control. I would have liked to see her more dominant and consistently-characterized all around. Oh, I will say, though, that Wren does continue to want to kill the humans, so that was good at least.

Am I Going to Continue with the Series?
Though the plot sort of let me unenthused, I do plan to continue. It's not that I thought the plot of trying to get away from the evil corporation was bad, but it's been done a lot, and it's not my preferred story arc for something like this. Still, I'm engaged enough with the characters and story to want to know what happens next.

How was the Narration?
For the most part, Hvam does an awesome job with Reboot. She keeps her voice pretty measured and it really fits with Wren. Hvam's voice is girlish enough to fit with Wren's sort of outward appearance of sweetness but full of mettle too. She does a nice job differentiating the characters, even though she does not go all out with the voices. The one thing I did not like is that, with audio, dialog tags really stand out. This book has "I said" and "he said" all over the place, and Hvam really emphasized them, and I groaned every time it happened again.

Sum It Up with a GIF:

Rating: 3/5

Review: Sky on Fire

Sky on Fire
Monument 14, Book 2

Author: Emmy Laybourne
Pages: 288
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Publication Date: May 28, 2013
Read: May 18-19, 2013
Source: Publisher

Description from Goodreads:
The world hasn't ended...yet.

In this sequel to MONUMENT 14, the group of survivors, originally trapped together in a superstore by a series of escalating disasters, has split in two. Most of the kids are making a desperate run on their recently repaired school bus for the Denver airport where they hope to reunite with their parents, be evacuated to safety, and save their dying friend.

But the world outside is dark and filled with dangerous chemicals that turn people into bloodthirsty monsters, and not all the kids were willing to get on the bus. Left behind in a sanctuary that has already been disturbed once, the remaining kids try to rebuild the community they lost. But when the issues are life and death, love and hate, who can you really trust?

Previous Book in Series:
1: Monument 14

First Sentence: "To whoever finds this: here's a math problem for you."

Review:

If I reviewed this book with just one word, that word would be UGH. Honestly, I enjoyed Monument 14 when I read it last year. I'm not sure whether it's actually better than Sky on Fire or if, because of my monumental reading challenge, I was just happy to read something so fast-paced. Either way, Sky on Fire is just sad. I hate making such a pronouncement, but the quality of the writing, the flat characters, and the discomfiting portrayal of women combined to make this a horrid read for me.

Warning: There will be spoilers all up in this bitch.

On the plus side, Sky on Fire probably only took about an hour of reading time all told. It's just 210 pages, so it flies by. Its brevity is the big selling point. The other positive I can offer for Laybourne's series is that the world building does have promise. I like that the world really does seem pretty fucked, and that she's willing to kill off characters; I would like it more if she killed off all of them. The idea of an airborne toxin affecting different blood types in varying ways is interesting too. Unfortunately, a good idea didn't help much, since I hated the plot, writing and characters.

We'll start with the characters. I've read two books in this series now and have yet to see any character development. Things happen and the kids do change somewhat, but not for any discernible reason. Shit just happens. For example, Astrid, pregnant and the object of Dean's affections, tells him that it was nice of him to stay with her in the store, but that she won't have sex with him. Nothing really changes, but they have sex either that day or the next day and suddenly she likes him. Apparently this nerdy virgin who had no experience whatsoever before must have been a mind-blowing lay. *rolls eyes* So, yeah, Astrid changed, but there was nothing to explain why she supposedly likes Dean rather than Jake.

Or, how about this? At the end of the first book, we learned of Astrid's pregnancy. This was my first really bright red flag in the series, but I still wanted to give book two a try. How terrible is it to be a pregnant teenager? Pretty awful in most circumstances. How about if there are no doctors around to help with the birthing? That's definitely worse. And what if you're in the middle of an apocalypse? Worst time ever to have a kid. This is pretty much fact. Yet, somehow, both Jake and Astrid are OVERJOYED at the fact that they will be bringing spawn into the world. No. Yes, these kids are idiots, but, fuck, even they should realize that this is the worst fucking thing that could be happening.

Let's talk about the girls in this book. The way they are portrayed makes me very uncomfortable. The strongest girl in the book is Astrid, pregnant in the middle of the apocalypse. She does actually help save them. Yay! But she's also in the middle of an asinine love triangle and apparently wants to be with whichever guy had sex with her last. So . . . less cool. Then there's Sahalia, who does nothing but cry and have guys attempt to rape her. She's also thirteen. The younger ones serve no purpose to the plot. Oh, there's another girl who's used as a hostage. And another one who does save the group on the bus a couple of times, but then always runs off crying and I'm pretty sure gets left behind entirely, though they're going to go get her in book three. Still, they freaking fly off to fucking Canada and leave her. This is how much women matter.

The writing drove me bonkers. It's repetitive and redundant, like my description. The sentences are simple, especially in Alex's sections. The narration is split between brothers Dean and Alex, as they group has split into two. Alex's notes are monotonous. I don't know how something non-verbal can be monotonous, but this is. Simple sentences with few two or more syllable words. "We did this. We did that." down to mundane details that have nothing to do with the overall plot. Both brothers seem to be writing journals of some sort, but it's unclear when they're writing them. The bottoms of each page indicate the time or location of the entry, but they sometimes reference things the characters don't know yet, like they're being compiled much later. For example, Dean mentions that the smoke kept the toxins in the air from affecting them though they didn't know that yet. That's something they couldn't have learned until at least the last few chapters, but that was in the middle of the book.

Speaking of smoking, that plot element may have disgusted me more than the sexism. Apparently cigarette smoke clears the air of the dangerous elements. Yay! Children, cigarettes are good for you. Was this book endorsed by Marlboro or something? Ugh. There are so many other things that could have been used to clear the air, like incense or candles. It really had to be fucking cigarettes? This sends an awesome message to children.

In no way can I endorse this book. It's certainly not a good choice for a reader like me. I suspect Laybourne is trying to target reluctant readers, but easy-to-read writing can be better than this. However, if you can look past flat, unlikable characters and questionable messages, then maybe you'll like this series. Every book works for someone, right? All I know is that no force in the 'verse could make me read any more.

Rating: .5/5

Favorite Quote: "'I'm too damn old for this nonsense.'"

Sadie Hawkins Sunday Review #13: Angelfall

Angelfall
Penryn & the End of Days, Book 1

Author: Susan Ee
Pages: 254
Publisher: Amazon Children's Publishing
Source: Purchased
Recommended by: Steph of Cuddlebuggery

Description from Goodreads:
It's been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world. Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night. When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister Penryn will do anything to get her back.

Anything, including making a deal with an enemy angel.

Raffe is a warrior who lies broken and wingless on the street. After eons of fighting his own battles, he finds himself being rescued from a desperate situation by a half-starved teenage girl.

Traveling through a dark and twisted Northern California, they have only each other to rely on for survival. Together, they journey toward the angels' stronghold in San Francisco where she'll risk everything to rescue her sister and he'll put himself at the mercy of his greatest enemies for the chance to be made whole again.

First Sentence: "Ironically, since the attacks, the sunsets have been glorious."

Review:
Right now, I am so happy with myself for coming up with this feature. Keep suggesting all of the wonderful books to me, you beautiful people. I'm riding high on two awesome suggestions in a row. *basks in the glory of good books*

I'm going to warn you up front that the awesomeness of this book makes me want to swear, and I believe in being true to my reactions to books, so if you can't handle a foul-mouthed review, this is not your day for my reviews.

Obviously, I've heard tell of Susan Ee's Angelfall. I mean, heck, the average rating among my friends on Goodreads is an almost unheard of 4.45, since I tend to befriend the pickier side of the internet. That's not just based on a couple of reviews either, but over thirty. Such things do not happen often. Oftentimes such hype can end in disappointment, but I am thrilled to announce that Angelfall is still badass, more than I could have anticipated.

Susan Ee's post-apocalyptic landscape is horrifying on just about every level and I love it so much. Like with so many, humans are scattered and suffering, surviving off of whatever they can scrounge up in houses and stores. Humanity's doomed whether they deal with the attackers or not, because agriculture's sort of important, yo. Also like a number of other post-apocalyptic scenarios, our heroine, Penryn is with helpless family to protect: her crippled little sister and her batshit insane mother. So, basically, she's fucked. Some people might want to cut and run, knowing their chances of survival were better alone, but Penryn loves her sister Paige and her mom, broken though they are in different ways.

The attack that happened? Yeah, that was motherfucking angels. Pretty intense, no? Susan Ee takes the whole Christian angel mythology and does something totally awesome and horrific with it. I would like to give her a fistbump for this. These angels definitely have more of a scary Old Testament flair, and, based on their actions, if they are controlled by a god, he's not too pleased with humanity. How incredibly creepy would that  be to realize your religion was both right and wrong? Oh, look, here come the angels down from Heaven to take the good people . . . and kill them in nasty ways. Only, not so much just the good people but all of the people. Pardon me while I evil laugh at how bitching this is.

As the book opens, Penryn, her mother, and her sister stumble across this like angel showdown. This angel with white wings is getting beat down by a whole bunch of angels with colored wings, even though white winged dude is obviously strongest. How often does a series open with the romantic lead getting the shit beat out of him and his fucking wings chopped off? Not often, and I dig it. I love to see strong characters not win every fight. If they don't, everything comes too easily and there's no big emotional payoff and no fear that they might not make it through.

Anyway, Penryn manages to startle the angel group sort of by accident and chase them away, but they freaking swoop down and flap off with Paige like a hawk grabbing a bunny for dinner. Obviously, Penryn is pissed and determined, so she has to try to save this damn angel, so he'll tell her where the fuck to find those other angels so she can get Paige back.

Penryn and Raffe, the angel, engage in some pretty great banter, both when they do and do not feel kindly disposed towards one another, so that's awesome. I like how Penryn often can't think of a clever retort, because that is so me, but that sometimes she thinks of one and I am all proud for her. Also, I love that Penryn and Raffe don't treat one another all that differently as they grow fond of one another. Like, yes, they help each other more and are more considerate, but they don't go from snarky to sappy at all. They stay true to their characters the whole time, which is awesome. Oh, and, just fyi, I talked about love interests and all of that, but there really isn't much romance in this one, so don't let that scare you off. More like there's a ship there if you wanted, but you don't need to sail on it to have a good time.

From this point on, I can't say much, because spoilers are evil. BUT I will say that there's some seriously creepy shit in this book, like a couple of scenes that join the list that haunts my brain. *shudders* Ee definitely also joins the list of authors not afraid to do monstrously awful things to their characters, which has me jumping around in malicious glee. Book two could go positively anywhere and I love that.

The only thing missing from this experience for me was an emotional connection to the characters. Oddly, I do really like Penryn and Raffe, so I'm not sure why I didn't bond. Sadly, I didn't. Scary things would happen and I would admire the awesomeness of the moment, but I never felt any concern for them. I was just watching, not sucked in. Of course, that's such a personal thing, and I wouldn't let that stop anyone else from picking the book up, because, as I said already, this book is bitching.

There's a reason everyone's talking about Angelfall. Go read it.

Rating: 4/5

Favorite Quote:

"When he smiles, he really does look like someone you'd want to get to know. Some otherworldly handsome guy a girl could dream about.
     Only he's not a guy. And he's too otherworldly. Not to mention that this girl is beyond dreaming about anything other than food, shelter, and the safety of her family."

---

Up Next:

The next Sadie Hawkins Sunday book will be Tatiana and Alexander by Paullina Simons, suggested by Lisa V. Now that I know what to expect from the series, I hope that I like this installment a bit more than The Bronze Horseman! *concentrates on being in the right frame of mind*

Want to tell me what to read? Fill out the following form with a suggestion! For more details, check this post.

Review: The Eternity Cure

The Eternity Cure
Blood of Eden, Book 2

Author: Julie Kagawa
Pages: 446
Publisher: Harlequin Teen
Source: YA Books Central for Review

Description from Goodreads:
Allison Sekemoto has vowed to rescue her creator, Kanin, who is being held hostage and tortured by the psychotic vampire Sarren. The call of blood leads her back to the beginning—New Covington and the Fringe, and a vampire prince who wants her dead yet may become her wary ally.

Even as Allie faces shocking revelations and heartbreak like she’s never known, a new strain of the Red Lung virus that decimated humanity is rising to threaten human and vampire alike.

Previous Book in Series:
1: The Immortal Rules

First Sentence: "I smelled blood as soon as I walked into the room."

Review:

The Eternity Cure has been among my most anticipated reads of 2013, and I was completely thrilled to obtain an ARC. The early reviews almost all agreed: The Eternity Cure improves on The Immortal Rules, which I really loved. Sadly, I never got absorbed into this one as much as I did with TIR. Perhaps I was in the wrong mood or was done in by expectations once again. For all that, The Eternity Cure is still a thrilling, adventure-packed saga that will appeal even to those who did not care for the Iron Fey books.

Julie Kagawa can write the heck out of some action scenes. She keeps the pace of Blood of Eden moving at a steady clip. There's pretty much always something exciting happening: sneaking, chase scenes, verbal sparring, kissing, or battles to the death. On top of that, the stakes are definitely raised. Where The Immortal Rules focused primarily on Allison fighting to maintain her humanity and on rescuing a little tribe of humans, in The Eternity Cure Allison is still trying to avoid becoming a monster, all while attempting to rescue Kanin her maker from a plot with far-reaching consequences.

Another big plus of this series is that, unlike Kagawa's Iron Fey series, romance is a very minor element in the plot. Survival comes first, and thinking about boys and their feelings comes second. For readers who like romance, yes, there is some, but the book doesn't go in the love triangle direction I was expecting. Plus, Allie doesn't just sit around all the time thinking about Zeke when she should be doing other things. Romance doesn't keep Allie from being a force to be reckoned with, especially when armed with her katana.

My favorite character, and my favorite aspect of The Eternity Cure, is Jackal. He's Allie's "brother," as he was also sired by Kanin. He also killed Zeke's dad and a couple of others from that little group, so he's her enemy. However, they have to team up to find Kanin/a cure for rabidism. Listen, Jackal isn't the most trustworthy guy around, but he knows what he is. What can I say? I'm weak to characters that unapologetically wield sarcasm. Jackal's black humor and brutal honesty are necessary to counteract Allie's endless optimism in the face of this post-apocalyptic world.

What kept The Eternity Cure from being a more beloved book of mine were the other characters. Both Allie and Zeke lack spark. They're nice, sure, but they're boring. They reminded me a lot of Stefan and Elena in TVD, right down to me rooting for the demise of their relationship. I just have trouble with characters who are oh so noble and virtuous all the time; even when they're killing people, it's out of necessity. I prefer heroines and heroes with more darkness to them...like Jackal. Kanin still has a lot of potential to be a fascinating character, but he gets so little actual screen time. In a first person narration, it's just really hard to care overly about where the book is headed if you don't love the MC.

The ending, too, was a mite disappointing. Kagawa employs one of my least favorite plot devices to bring everything to a close, which left me disappointed. I wanted the book to be just that slightest bit darker, even though I knew there was probably no way Kagawa would actually go there. Added to a number of other twists that felt very run of the mill, the ending lowered my rating from a 3.5 to a 3.

Kagawa's Blood of Eden series is cinematic and packed to the brim with action. If you enjoy vampires or dystopian/post-apocalyptic scenarios, this is a series you will not want to miss. I'm looking forward to book three, and hoping the romance between Zeke and Allie will fizzle out, though I doubt it.

Rating: 3/5

Favorite Quote: "'Don't tell me you fell something for the little . . . oh.' The vampire blinked, then curled his lip back, disgust and pity crossing his sharp features. 'Oh, sister. Really? That's just sad.'"

Audiobook Review: The Ward

The Ward
The Ward, Book 1

Author: Jordana Frankel
Narrator: Meritt Hicks
Duration: 12.4 hrs
Publisher: Harper Audio

Source: Publisher for review

Description from Goodreads:
Set in a futuristic New York City after a catastrophic flood called the Wash Out, The Ward is the story of sixteen-year-old Renata Dane, a daredevil champion racer who will risk everything she has to take care of her sick foster sister, Aven.

Ren's sister is suffering from the Blight, an incurable, deadly illness thought to be caused by years of pollution. The disease is ripping through the Ward—formerly known as downtown Manhattan—and since the region is home to the poor and the vagrant, little is being done to help the sick.

But when the Blight somehow spreads to the affluent Upper Islets, the government recruits Ren for a secret mission: to search for a freshwater source in the Ward, with the hope of it leading to a cure. She is the only girl in the Ward to master helming a mobile—a car that can defy gravity and drive up the walls of a skyscraper, or transform into a high-speed boat at the push of a few buttons.

However, when Ren accepts this job—and the big paycheck that comes with it—she never expects that it will lead her to dangerous encounters with a passionate young scientist, a web of deceit and lies, and a confounding mystery that's lurking deep beneath the water's rippling surface.

Cinematic and thrilling, The Ward is Jordana Frankel's debut novel.

Review:

Oh, post-apocalyptic and dystopian fiction, I love you so much, but you keep trying to make me stop. The Ward fails to stand out, aside from the largely lackluster writing.

Why Did I Read This Book?
Because I am a sucker for dystopian fiction. What can I say? I've been burned over and over again, but I keep sticking my hand in the fire. I never claimed to be incredibly intelligent. Well, I think I have claimed that but solely in jest.

What's the Story Here?
Ren lives her life to support her sister (not biologically but in everything that matters), Aven, who is sick with the Blight. She earns money racing and by scouting for freshwater as a mole for the Blues, the police force. Basically, she finds some fresh water and it can cure diseases, but then there are suddenly a bunch of forces trying to do different things with the water. Ren, of course, is heading up the good guys and trying to make sure her sister and others get cured.

And the Romance? 
There's some sort of half-hearted love triangle going on between Ren, Derek, and Callum. Derek is her bookie and she's been crushing on him for ages, but, now that she's mixed up in things, he's all interested suddenly. Then there's Callum who pretended to be a Blue and sent her on the quest for the fresh she found. He's also rich. So far, it's mostly been all about Ren and Derek, but he's weird and creepy, so I think I would be rooting for Callum if I had to root for someone.

What About the Writing?
Ugh. There were so many awkward phrases, clearly intended to be thought-provoking or poetic which landed with a thud. I did quite a bit of eye-rolling at stupid sentences. Plus, it was REALLY repetitive. The evil sentence was in this book at least four times, which is just crazy. That's just the top of the iceberg, though. If there's a breath that Ren takes or holds that the reader doesn't have to hear about it, I will consume my bonnet with a freaking cherry on top.

Am I Going to Continue with the Series?
Nope. Not happening. I don't care about any of these characters one bit. They're flat and failed to make me love them, so, even if I were enthralled with the minimal plot, I probably wouldn't venture forth.

How was the Narration?
The saving grace of The Ward is that I listened to it, rather than reading a print copy. I love Merritt Hicks as a narrator. Her voice is soothing and a bit huskier than the average female narrator who does YA audiobooks. Her voice matches perfectly with Ren's character too. She makes the story a much more pleasant experience, but she can only do so much with what she's given.

Sum It Up with a GIF:

Rating: 2.5/5

Review: The 5th Wave

The 5th Wave
The 5th Wave, Book 1

Author: Rick Yancey
Pages: 480
Publisher: Putnam Juvenile
Publication Date: May 7, 2013
Source: Gifted - Thanks Audrey!

Description from Goodreads:
The Passage meets Ender’s Game in an epic new series from award-winning author Rick Yancey.

After the 1st wave, only darkness remains. After the 2nd, only the lucky escape. And after the 3rd, only the unlucky survive. After the 4th wave, only one rule applies: trust no one.

Now, it’s the dawn of the 5th wave, and on a lonely stretch of highway, Cassie runs from Them. The beings who only look human, who roam the countryside killing anyone they see. Who have scattered Earth’s last survivors. To stay alone is to stay alive, Cassie believes, until she meets Evan Walker. Beguiling and mysterious, Evan Walker may be Cassie’s only hope for rescuing her brother—or even saving herself. But Cassie must choose: between trust and despair, between defiance and surrender, between life and death. To give up or to get up.

First Sentence: "There will be no awakening."

Does It Pass the Bechdel Test? Only sort of. Cassie talks to a female doctor. It's not a long conversation, but I guess it counts. That's it, though. For the most part, the female characters (of which there are four that are alive) don't talk to one another.

Review:

Anyone who follows my book haul vlogs or my Twitter probably knows how excited I was for this book. The preliminary reviews convinced me that this book and I were destined to have a great love affair, that it would break me emotionally, and end the fairly long streak of lackluster post-apocalytpic/dystopian fiction I've been on. Well, The 5th Wave is good, and I can see why everyone's been loving it, but, perhaps because of the hype, it wasn't everything I dreamed it would be.

The 5th Wave hooked me right from the start. What really sets this book apart from the bulk of young adult fiction is the air of hopelessness that permeates this post-alien attack vision of Cincinnati. Cassie is a hard heroine, determined to survive for as long as she can, afraid she might be the last actual human alive. The 1st wave of the alien attack was an EMP, knocking out all technology in an instant. The 2nd wave stirred the oceans and killed those on the coast. The 3rd wave was a plague, carried by birds, that killed all but a few naturally immune or able to fight off the infection. The 4th wave consisted of the Silencers, sleeper agent aliens within human bodies. At this point, 7 billion people are dead, and the enemy could be anyone.

Too often, apocalypses in young adult fiction don't really wreak all that much destruction. Humanity seems to have a serious fighting chance, but Yancey's world is suitably bleak enough to please me. With the 5th wave feared and anticipated every moment, humanity hardly seems to have a chance in hell of surviving. I love how high the stakes are in this book, and that Yancey doesn't pull punches. The 5th Wave is dark and intense.

As the novel opens and we meet Cassie, we learn her rules for living, the first of which is to shoot anyone else she meets on sight. She knows that aliens are walking around in human guise, because she saw them murder her father, shortly after her brother, Sammy, and the other children were rescued by soldiers. As such, Cassie trusts no one. Cassie will kill to protect herself, without waiting to find out if the other person is human or alien, because there's no way to know, and she has to stay alive to find Sammy. It's not just Cassie, though. Every single surviving person in this world has blood on their hands. No one comes through these experiences innocent, and that is my favorite aspect of the novel.

Yancey's writing is beautiful too, complex and in no way talking down to the audience. He is even at turns poetic. This would be one of the rare YA books I would recommend to adults who normally turn up their noses at books for teens, because I think the writing and darkness of the subject matter will hold appeal for adult readers as well, even snobby ones.

However, much as I love the concept and the writing itself, Yancey's use of perspectives didn't really work for me. I had three main concerns with his use of multiple points of view. First, I had trouble discerning Cassie's narration from Zombie's, and was really thrown when the POV switched, even going so far as to wonder if Cassie was a boy all along and I'd missed something. I simply could not tell their voices apart except by seeing where they were or a gender reference.

Second, there are two perspectives used for only one chapter, while the rest of the story bounces between Cassie and Zombie. As a general rule, if a perspective is going to appear once, it's best not to use it at all, and I think that holds true here. Nothing was learned from those two single-use perspectives that could not have been discovered later with greater impact. The use of one of these even, whether intentionally or no, spoils a plot twist that could have been startling.

Third, the chapter from the perspective of Sammy is in third person, while the rest are in first. Rarely do I approve of this technique in multiple points of view either, however, it can be done to great stylistic effect, intentionally distancing the audience from a particular perspective to represent how closed off that character is. In this case, though, I fail to fathom this authorial decision. For what reason should the reader be distanced from Sammy? This section could have been emotionally resonant, following a scared, confused five-year-old through his experiences in this harsh landscape. Instead, the third person narration alternates between Sammy's childish thoughts and observations obviously coming from the narrator. Done in first person, this section could have highlighted Yancey's skill writing perspective, but, alas, this was not done.

Even though Cassie and Zombie were written in first person, I also failed to really connect with them. In Zombie's case, I suspect this was because he sounded like Cassie to me, so didn't really become his own person in my head. Cassie, though, I was well-disposed to like, and was bonding to in the beginning. Unfortunately, she stopped acting like the Cassie of the outset and embarked on an instalove romance. To be fair, the romance was not instalove from her side, but she pursued the relationship as well, and the whole thing made me roll my eyes. The one plus I will give the romance in this book is that I'm not entirely sure who Yancey wants Cassie to end up with in the end.

Overall, I very much enjoyed The 5th Wave and will be eagerly anticipating the sequel. Readers who enjoy dark, action-packed novels will want to pick this one up, as will those who liked The Host or Animorphs, but want something much more intense.

Rating: 3.5/5

Favorite Quote: 

"'From what you've told me about the Silencers, its not logical to rally anywhere.'
     'Or stay anywhere longer than a few days. Keep your numbers small and keep moving.'
     'Until . . . ?'
     'There is no until,' I snap at him. 'There's just unless.'"

Review: Wasteland

Wasteland
Wasteland, Book 1

Authors: Susan Kim & Laurence Klavan
Pages: 352
Publisher: HarperTeen
Publication Date: March 26, 2013
Source: Publisher via Edelweiss

Description from Goodreads:
Welcome to the Wasteland. Where all the adults are long gone, and now no one lives past the age of nineteen. Susan Kim and Laurence Klavan’s post-apocalyptic debut is the first of a trilogy in which everyone is forced to live under the looming threat of rampant disesase and brutal attacks by the Variants—hermaphroditic outcasts that live on the outskirts of Prin. Esther thinks there’s more to life than toiling at harvesting, gleaning, and excavating, day after day under the relentless sun, just hoping to make it to the next day. But then Caleb, a mysterious stranger, arrives in town, and Esther begins to question who she can trust. As shady pasts unravel into the present and new romances develop, Caleb and Esther realize that they must team together to fight for their lives and for the freedom of Prin.

First Sentence: "Esther ran across the broken asphalt."

Review:

I like to begin my reviews with the good stuff about a book in most cases, before transitioning into my criticisms. Well, here's what I can offer about Wasteland: it's an easy read. The fairly simple sentences are quick to plow through. Also, it's mostly boring, which actually ended up being a sort of good thing, since, when it isn't boring, unfortunate things are generally happening. Be warned that there will be spoilers toward the end of this review.

The World Building
The foundation of this post-apocalyptic world is shaky at best. Having finished, I have little to no idea what happened to the world or how long ago. There are a couple of vague references to some sort of climactic changes, violent earthquakes and so forth, but that's not really enough. I want to know why the rain makes people sick and how the Variants came to be. The sun shines hotter and more damaging, presumably a result of a further decreased ozone layer. While I understand that the characters might not know much, authors generally can find a way to give the readers a bit more than that.

What made me so determined to really know what had happened was a desire to figure out how things had gotten this way, because everything seemed inconsistent. The events can't have been THAT long ago or I doubt the kids would still be surviving off of supplies from the industrial age. There's even one building still using gas for power. If it hasn't been that long, then why is every single adult dead? It sounds like people die young because of how hard life is or because of how easy it is to stumble into infected water and become diseased, but a few adults should still be around, right? Yet, it seems that no one can live past the age of nineteen. WHY? You can't just set a specific age like that and not explain it!

About the supplies, Wasteland differs from every other post-apocalyptic novel I've read in that regard. See, usually, humans, at least in the years following the disaster, survive largely off of canned goods while figuring out how to subsistence farm. Here, though, the kids don't try to learn farming or hunting of animals (survivalists, they are not) and live ONLY off of supplies left from before the whatever-the-fuck smashed society. Plus, apparently all of the canned goods have spoiled and only the dry goods are edible. I was puzzled by this reversal of what I'd read before, so I went to look in my pantry. The canned goods definitely have letter expiration dates and are less vulnerable to bugs and other animals. Everything about this was just weird to me.

So these kids, right? They live in this town of rotted buildings they call Prin. The oldest ones are around 18. At the age of five, they start work. They have three jobs: Gleaning (???), Harvesting (searching far and wide for more stuff in houses and cars), and Excavation (digging). This does not make for survival, people. Even once you learn the bad guy's plans, it's only a short term solution. This whole "society" is TSTL. Any time after twelve, they start partnering off, which is basically getting married. Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that they're all settling down into monogamous relationships. It's weird if you don't, and I don't feel like that's not the most natural pattern for a bunch of teenagers to fall into, even if they would supposedly be more mature do to the brief lifespan and early age at which they begin "work."

Moving on, we're to the point where I have to talk about the last big element of the world building: the Variants. So, for no reason that is apparent, there are these Variants, insultingly known as "mutants" who are hermaphroditic, and get to choose their own gender when they come of age. They're wild and sort of live off the land, at least more than the "norms" do. I was concerned about this as soon as I read the blurb, but I really try to give authors the benefit of the doubt. I mean, WHY would you put that in for no reason? Well, I don't know, but that sure seems to be the case.

So, the Variants, for one thing, are almost NEVER actually referred to by that term, instead called "mutants" pretty much always. They're portrayed as feral and wild and lesser, but, hey, that's from the perspective of the people of Prin and they might learn something, right? Plus, Esther is friends with a variant named Skar, so surely their friendship will be the bond that helps them come to terms! Not so much. Instead, the Variants cease being peaceful and begin attacking Prin all at the behest of the bad guy (which is sort of a spoiler, but it's so damn obvious that I really don't care). When this is finally figured out by a townsperson, this happens:

"Mutants.
     For the first time, Caleb thought of the ugly word, one he had used a thousand times without thinking, and he winced, for they, the variants, were nothing but pawns, poor and pathetic."
- Page 193 of the ARC; note that quotes could change in the finished copy

For one bright, shining second there, it seems as though the light is dawning and someone has learned how horrific they've been this whole time. Then it all comes crashing down. Great, the hermaphrodites aren't evil monsters after all; they're just "poor and pathetic." That's so much better. Actually, no. Needless though this should be to say, I'll say it clearly: I find this egregiously offensive.

On the other hand, I will say that the Variants do seem much more suited to life in this world and that they have a much more intelligent speech pattern than the norms, who mostly speak in dialect. How the Variants ended up better-educated is another mystery, but we'll let that go. These things make me think that, in the end, this is intended to be a positive depiction, but it doesn't go anywhere near counteracting everything else.

Worse, the Variants hardly appear in the story, and, when they do, they take on the role of villain or pawn. Even once a shaky alliance is formed, they're compared to the Native Americans with the norms taking on the role of the more "civilized" settlers. This comparison is perhaps meant to be touching, but I find it seriously upsetting, considering how that turned out in history and the fact that the Variants aren't even invited to the meal they provided. Nor was there ever ANY reason for the Variants to be hermaphroditic, which makes everything even worse.

The Writing
I don't usually mention this, but Wasteland has a heck of a lot of telling. The only emotions I felt as I flipped through were irritation, anger and disgust, caused by the offensive nature of the world and the hackneyed romance. I should have felt fear for the characters and hope for the romance, but there's no effort made to show us how these kids really are. Everything is delineated. Esther does not fit in. Caleb is strong but tortured. They're in love now. Umm, okay. The telling is to the extent that scenes that might have been interesting are completely skipped, and the reader starts a new chapter with no idea how the characters got to where they are and has to read a short infodump to explain what was missed. None of those sections included twists or had any plot reason to be skipped. So far as I could tell, they happened solely to avoid showing things.

Kim and Klavan also made the questionable decision to use third person limited with rotating POVs. Of course, this storytelling method can be used quite effectively, but Wasteland is a good example of what not to do. The point of using a limited third person perspective is to allow for a closeness to the characters, while still being restricted to their knowledge. The characters all remain quite distant, perhaps because of how often the POV shifts. The POV moves almost at random, going into most of the named characters' heads at one time or another, and even some who don't even merit names. Several POVs show up only once, which is almost always a terrible authorial move, and certainly is here.

The Characters
As you probably expect by this juncture in the review, I was not impressed with Kim and Klavan's characterization either. The only character who is even remotely dynamic is Esther, who still remains flat and unreal. All of the others have but one motivation driving their existence and lack the complexities that make a character written on a page come to life. It's a sad day when I feel like the most realistic character is the baby, because at least they don't really have personalities yet anyway. Oh, and they all have Biblical names, even though there's nothing else said about the Bible or any reason why a bunch of teens on their own would just happen to choose Biblical names for their offspring.

The Plot
Every single bit of Wasteland felt like I had read it before, and where the book was headed always felt glaringly obvious. Now, to be fair, I've read about 150 dystopian and post-apocalyptic stories at this point, so I've got a bit more experience under my belt than the average reader. Still, I expect more from my books, and am not impressed when I read a post-apocalyptic novel that feels like it's cobbled together from pieces of what came before, a blundering Frankenstein monster of a book.

On the plus side, the plot does not focus on the romance, though it might as well have, since Kim and Klavan do not take the time to set the romance they felt compelled to include effectively and there wasn't a whole hell of a lot going on anyway. The plot consists almost entirely of the town needing to figure out that Levi, the obvious bad guy, is evil, and then figure out a way to throw off his rule. In the meantime, he hires the Variants to attack and they worry about that. Mostly, Esther runs around and thinks about how she doesn't fit in.

Then Caleb comes to town, defeats some Variants, proving what a sexy badass he is. He and Esther do not like each other on their first two encounters. On the third, they are suddenly inexplicably drawn to one another. Within the course of a handful of meetings, in which they don't do much talking or bonding, they fall in love and partner. As I mentioned before, we're told how in love they are, not made to feel it:

"But something had shifted inside her, a strange new emotion moving into the other. Her desire to ease Caleb's suffering had been joined with another desire, one even more powerful, like two streams meeting and converging in a riverbed, mingling in a current against which she had no strength.
     She had never known this feeling before."
- Page 199 of the ARC; note that quotes could change in the finished copy

What makes this even more upsetting for me is that Caleb was actually partnered before, his wife murdered and child kidnapped. His sole motivation is finding his son and revenging himself on whoever did that to his family. Yet we never learn anything about his bond with his partner or even what her name was. We're told he loved Nameless but that he feels even more strongly about Esther in a matter of days. Everything about their relationship is rushed and unbelievable. Telling the reader something is true doesn't make it believable. This is lazy writing, and I'm getting really tired of seeing it in young adult fiction.

I am also getting sick of these idealized sex scenes. Caleb and Esther have kissed once, when they find each other after a worrisome separation and partner. Once they're partnered, conditions are right for making love obviously. Here's how that goes, according to Kim and Klavan: "Soon, they were moving together, awkwardly, then expertly, bright with sweat" (239-240 of the ARC). Now, I do appreciate the nod to awkwardness, but I'm seriously supposed to believe Esther and Caleb are having expert-level sex not just on their first time, but Esther's first time ever. This is not a realistic expectation to be giving to teen readers, and it's not like adding expertly to the description makes the scene any sexier, since that was the whole of it.

Then, there's the bad guy, Levi. He lives in fear of the sun and the water, never leaving the Source, his fortress. He's skinny, pale, dark-haired, and weak, but possessed of a might intellect and can make people work for him. He turns out to be driven solely by the desire to destroy the life of his brother Caleb (SHOCK!), because their parents didn't want the sickly kid and got rid of Levi. What is with this trend of the evil characters in dystopian/post-apocalyptic lit being related to one of the MCs? It's not surprising anymore, so can we stop? What really takes the cake is that, at the end, Levi is easily defeated by Caleb. While Esther runs off with Caleb's baby because gender roles, Levi commits suicide, so that Caleb doesn't have to get his hands dirty by killing anyone, except maybe some Variants at the beginning, but they hardly count. Fuck this shit. I'm done.

In Conclusion
It's not often that I say this, but I recommend Wasteland to absolutely no one. It's sole redeeming quality is that it's an easy, fast read, by nature of the simple sentences, which is no reason to read something. Every element in here has been done better elsewhere. Do yourself a favor: go read Blood Red Road or Ashfall instead.

Rating: .5/5

Favorite Quote: None.

Audiobook Review: Zombies

Zombies: A Record of the Year of Infection

Author: Don Roff
Narrators: Stephen R. Thorne & Cast
Duration: 1 hr, 41 mins
Publisher: AudioGO
Source: Own

Description from Goodreads:
The year is 2012, and what starts as a pervasive and inexplicable illness ends up as a zombie infestation that devastates the world's population. Taking the form of a biologist's illustrated journal found in the aftermath of the attack, this pulse-pounding, suspenseful tale of zombie apocalypse follows the narrator as he flees from city to countryside and heads north to Canada, where he hopes the undead will be slowed by the colder climate. Encountering scattered humans and scores of the infected along the way, he fills his audio recorder with descriptions and careful observations of zombie behavior, along with terrifying tales of survival. This "translation" of the popular graphic novel to audio, complete with "killer" sound effects, will keep fans on the edge of their seats right up to the very end.

Review:

Okay, so I actually had never heard of this before and picked it up at random, because, hey, I love zombie stories. Anyway, turns out that this is actually an audiobook of a graphic novel. If your first reaction to that is "lol whut" then we're totally on the same page. I really never would have thought that a graphic novel would convert so well to a picture-less format, but they did a wonderful job with this, considering that I didn't figure that out until later.

There is so much zombie stuff out there, it's true. While I don't know that there's anything especially original about Zombies, at least in the audio version, I did very much enjoy it. If you like to read zombie tales, there's really no excuse to not read this, since even on audio it takes less than two hours. Oh, short audiobook, I finished you in a day and I feel so accomplished.

I'm really not going to go into the plot much, because it's the pretty basic zombie outbreak business, following one guy in his efforts to survive. What I want to talk about specifically is why I loved the audio. Stephen R. Thorne, the narrator, sounds exactly like Chris Traeger, Rob Lowe's character on the show Parks and Recreation. Seriously, even his intonation and the way he pronounces certain words are Chris all the way. So, naturally, I pictured Robert Twombly as Chris Traeger. Here are some gifs to illustrate what this would be like.

When zombies attack.

Like life as we know it.

LITERALLY.

Excuse my silliness, but, seriously, I had a lot of fun with Zombies. I'd actually really love to check out the graphic novel version too, because I love graphic novels and it could be rather different.

Rating: 3.5/5