Review: This Song Will Save Your Life

This Song Will Save Your Life

Author: Leila Sales
Pages: 288
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
Publication Date: September 17, 2013
Read: September 11-12, 2013
Source: ARC from publisher

Description from Goodreads:
Making friends has never been Elise Dembowski’s strong suit. All throughout her life, she’s been the butt of every joke and the outsider in every conversation. When a final attempt at popularity fails, Elise nearly gives up. Then she stumbles upon a warehouse party where she meets Vicky, a girl in a band who accepts her; Char, a cute, yet mysterious disc jockey; Pippa, a carefree spirit from England; and most importantly, a love for DJing.

Told in a refreshingly genuine and laugh-out-loud funny voice, THIS SONG WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE is an exuberant novel about identity, friendship, and the power of music to bring people together.

First Sentence: "You think it's so easy to change yourself."

Review:

Just the other day on Twitter, I mentioned the fact that I couldn't really think of any YA heroines whose high school experience in any way recalled my own, and along comes This Song Will Save Your Life. For this reason, This Song was a really personal read for me, one that I found immensely moving, comforting, and beautiful. As a teenager, I wish Leila Sales' book had already been out, because it would have immensely helped and comforted my teenage self.

In the opening chapter of This Song Will Save Your Life, the reader meets Elise Dembowski, an incredibly unhappy but brilliant girl. Elise does not struggle academically and has a loving family; her divorced parents have worked out a great system, and do the best they can for her. However, Elise has never fit in with the other kids at school, and she's sick of being friendless and lonely. Being a girl who generally can accomplish anything she sets her mind to, she spends the whole summer learning how to be cool and just like the other kids. However, the first day of sophomore year does not go as planned and Elise decides to skip the second half of the day and commit suicide, all hope lost. And, I promise, this really is all in the first chapter.

Now, this may seem melodramatic to you, but all of this resonated with me so incredibly strongly. I see so much of myself in Elise Dembowski: her bitterness and desperation, her thoughts that maybe it won't be better and that it would be best to end it all. In my case, I never seriously contemplated suicide, but I did think about it, imagining everyone fraught with guilt and sadness that they never appreciated me in life. Like Elise, I really didn't have friends and could not understand why everyone was either antagonistic to me or completely ignored me. In her, I see what I also later learned about myself: the fact that part of the reason people avoided me was my own attitude, one I hardly realized I had. Though I was not actively bullied like Elise (at least in high school), everything she felt and experienced was so close to my own life in that period.

From there, Elise's experience no longer mirrors my own, but continues to be emotionally resonant and touching. This Song Will Save Your Life really is a story of a girl finding herself and discovering her passions. She's learning to accept who she is and how much happier life is when you stop judging yourself by the rules of society, and do and be what makes you happy. Accepting society's definition of yourself is so easy to do; learning to reject this is a crucial life lesson. I myself learned that in college and I have been so much more satisfied with life since, because I could finally quit chasing after things I don't actually want just because society says I should want them.

Unlike so much YA fiction, This Song Will Save Your Life focuses much more on family and friendship than on romance. I love Elise's family so much. Sales depicts a healthy example of both divorce and remarriage. Both her single father and her mother, remarried with two more children, love her and take good care of her. Elise's family situation is healthy, and, even when Elise misbehaves, they support her and really do encourage her in her pursuits. Even Elise's little siblings are adorable, and her relations with her younger sister Alex broke my heart.

With regards to friendship, Sales presents a realistic portrayal of high school dynamics. There's the stereotypical mean girl and brutish jocks, as well as the outcasts. However, Sales goes beyond the stereotypes and shows the ways that people can surprise you if you let them. Again, Elise's journey highlights the way that she pushes people away without realizing she's doing so, all the time desperately wishing for someone to like her.

Finally, the romance, which me being the person I am, I can't not talk about. Elise differs so greatly from the average YA heroine. There's not an instaloving bone in her body. She clearly distinguishes between lust and love. When a guy does something questionable, she will call him on it, being the forthright person she is. For once, I understand the motivations and logic of a YA heroine in her reactions with guys. All I'll say is that the romance was handled perfectly, precisely the way I hoped, and entirely in an atypical way for young adult novels.

This Song Will Save Your Life is a book that I could see saving lives. I sincerely hope that young people who are friendless and desperate, who do not understand why no one likes them, find this book and know that they're not alone. It will get better, maybe not as soon as it did for Elise, but, out there in the world, there are kindred spirits and, if you hold on, you'll find them.

Rating: 5/5

Favorite Quote: "Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don't know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn't you. That isn't you at all."

Don't Take My Word for It:
Birth of a New Witch's word: "took far too long for a book just 288 pages long" - 2.5 stars
The Social Potato's word: "painful (in a good way)" - 4 stars
Lili's Reflections' word: "It took me to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows." - 5 stars

Review: Fun Home

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic

Author: Alison Bechdel
Pages: 232
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Read: May 18, 2013
Source: Friend's library (since mine didn't have it)

Description from Goodreads:
A fresh and brilliantly told memoir from a cult favorite comic artist, marked by gothic twists, a family funeral home, sexual angst, and great books.

This breakout book by Alison Bechdel is a darkly funny family tale, pitch-perfectly illustrated with Bechdel's sweetly gothic drawings. Like Marjane Satrapi's Persepolis, it's a story exhilaratingly suited to graphic memoir form.

Meet Alison's father, a historic preservation expert and obsessive restorer of the family's Victorian home, a third-generation funeral home director, a high school English teacher, an icily distant parent, and a closeted homosexual who, as it turns out, is involved with his male students and a family babysitter. Through narrative that is alternately heartbreaking and fiercely funny, we are drawn into a daughter's complex yearning for her father. And yet, apart from assigned stints dusting caskets at the family-owned "fun home," as Alison and her brothers call it, the relationship achieves its most intimate expression through the shared code of books. When Alison comes out as homosexual herself in late adolescense, the denouement is swift, graphic -- and redemptive.

First Sentence: "Like many fathers, mine could occasionally be prevailed on for a spot of 'airplane.'"

Review:

Though this may not have been hugely apparent on my blog, overwhelmed as I am by review copies, I dearly love graphic novels and manga. In an effort to try to fit more of those in, my first selection was Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, an autobiography in graphic novel format. Someone on Twitter recommended this to me (Ceilidh of The Book Lantern, perhaps?), and I convinced my friend to ILL it from her library, since my local library charges for those. In Fun Home, Bechdel confronts her sexual journey and her lingering emotions about her father in a lavishly written, darkly humorous comic.

The title Fun Home comes from the fact that her father ran a funeral home, as well as working as a high school teacher. I could not help but be reminded of the show Six Feet Under, which does have some parallels to Bechdel's life experience, certainly in tone and themes, like homosexuality and a truly fucked up family.

Bechdel's identity as a lesbian woman is tied up with her thoughts of her father. She feels that her butch identity developed in contrast to his own sissy-ness; these words are her own and not mine, by the way. Her sexuality and his death will always be linked in her mind too, because of the circumstances of his demise, though the connection seems tenuous at best. This, though, is how the human mind works, implying causality and taking on guilt where none needs to exist, a negative side effect as seeing ourselves as the center of the universe.

Bechdel tells the story of her coming of age in the 1970s with a big emphasis on literary references. She's definitely appealing to a well-read and educated audience. Having not read Proust or Ulysses, there were numerous references I'm sure that I missed out on, and I imagine the constant use of comparison to literary figures would be frustrating for those unfamiliar with the texts mentioned. I really liked this technique, however, the way that Bechdel set herself apart from her own story and analyzed it like fiction. In fact, she even includes snippets from her diary and her father's letters, considering the hidden meaning within them precisely the way she was skeptical of doing with literature in her college English courses.

Bechdel's writing is gorgeous, complex and drenched in meaning. Both the pictures and the words combine to tell the story. Sometimes in graphic novels, the text takes a back seat to the images, but not here. That every word was carefully chosen is obvious. I just loved her writing and had to sit back and chew on some of the sentences, because they were just so beautiful.

Autobiographies and biographies have been one of those forms of writing I've never had much interest in, but Fun Home was fascinating, so I may have been too hasty to dismiss them. My friend who borrowed the book for me said Bechdel also wrote one about her mother, who's a secondary character here, so I'll have to check that out.

Rating: 4/5

Favorite Quote: "Sometimes, when things were going well, I think my father actually enjoyed having a family. Or, at least, the air of authenticity we lent to his exhibit. A sort of still life with children."

Review: The Perfume Collector

The Perfume Collector

Author: Kathleen Tessaro
Pages: 464
Publisher: Harper
Publication Date: May 14, 2013
Source: Publisher for review

Description from Goodreads:
London, 1955: Grace Monroe is a young newlywed, eager to make a success of her marriage. However, with her intellectual curiosity and her unladylike talent for advanced mathematics, she finds the routine of elegant luncheons and exclusive parties among post-war London’ s social set more tiresome than exciting.

When Grace receives an unexpected inheritance from a woman she’s never met, she finds herself suddenly in Paris, embarking upon a journey to discover not only the identity of her mysterious benefactor but also the hidden secrets of her own past.

In a story that takes us from New York in the 1920s to mid-century Monte Carlo, Paris and London, Grace discovers a world filled with the evocative, intoxicating power of perfume; an obsessive, desperate love between muse and artist; and a trail of dark memories that may mean she isn’ t the person she thinks she is at all.

First Sentence: "Eva d'Orsey sat at the kitchen table, listening to a ticking clock, a copy of Le Figaro in front of her."

Review:

When offered a review copy of The Perfume Collector, I did the same thing I always do first: checked out the Goodreads page to see how the early reviews had fallen. Based on the overwhelmingly positive response, I accepted, despite my crowded review schedule. I'm quite glad I did, as Tessaro's novel is a marvelous read, full of beautiful language and eccentric characters. Set in the post-WWII, Kathleen Tessaro's novel The Perfume Collector is a contemplative tale of one woman's journey to make amends and another woman's journey to find herself.

Grace Munroe lives a rather dull life in the upper crust. She doesn't much care about shopping or parties, preferring intellectual pursuits, and feels a bit lost. Her unease only increases with the suspicion that her husband, Roger, has been conducting an affair. Unsure how to react, she stalls for time, traveling to France to follow up on a mysterious and well-timed missive, informing her of her inheritance from one Eva d'Orsey. What's puzzling is that this Eva is completely unknown to Grace.

The overall plot is, to my mind, entirely predictable. The connection between Grace and Eva is, I think, obvious. There was no shocking reveal or mind-blowing twist. However, I do not see that as a bad thing. Even though the destination is clear, The Perfume Collector is much more about Grace's own mental journey, coming into her own, coming of age, even if she is over thirty, discovering independence for the first time in her life.

Tessaro alternates between Grace's timeline in 1954 and Eva's timeline from the 1920s until her death, slowly weaving them together until all is known. This narrative device is frequently used in historical fiction, but often one of the timelines is much more interesting the other, leaving the reader bored and impatient during the other. Thankfully, in The Perfume Collector, I found both Eva and Grace fascinating in entirely different ways. Though the pace is rather slow, it never flagged, and I was fully engaged throughout.

The characters are well-drawn and all bursting with personality. Grace really does open up in front of the reader's eyes, letting more and more of her true self shine through. I also loved Grace's interactions with her best friend, Mallory, and that, through everything, Mallory was there for her. I rather expected Mallory's character to turn out to be shallow and unreliable, because she's much more into the social scene than Grace, and fiction does that sort of thing, but, no, their friendship is real and delightful. The lawyer, Tissot, too, is a friendly, joking fellow, and probably my personal favorite.

In Eva's sections, the people are brasher, darker, and less likable, but also more compelling. As a young girl, Eva works at a high class hotel in New York City, cleaning up after illustrious and daring personages. She becomes involved with some of these people, and sets her life on a dangerous, exciting course. Grace may live a life of quiet desperation, but Eva's desperation is anything but calm and reserved.

Kathleen Tessaro's The Perfume Collector is a beautiful historical novel about one woman's awakening. Readers who appreciate historical fiction with a focus on women will want to give this one a look.

Rating: 3.5/5

Favorite Quote: "'I want to go to a café and sit with you. I want you to order something I've never eaten before and tease me about it. And I want to walk, anywhere, nowhere in particular, and for us to disagree.'"

Review: A Tale for the Time Being

A Tale for the Time Being

Author: Ruth Ozeki
Pages: 432
Publisher: Viking Adult
Source: Publisher

Description from Goodreads:
A brilliant, unforgettable, and long-awaited novel from bestselling author Ruth Ozeki

“A time being is someone who lives in time, and that means you, and me, and every one of us who is, or was, or ever will be.”

In Tokyo, sixteen-year-old Nao has decided there’s only one escape from her aching loneliness and her classmates’ bullying. But before she ends it all, Nao first plans to document the life of her great grandmother, a Buddhist nun who’s lived more than a century. A diary is Nao’s only solace—and will touch lives in ways she can scarcely imagine.

Across the Pacific, we meet Ruth, a novelist living on a remote island who discovers a collection of artifacts washed ashore in a Hello Kitty lunchbox—possibly debris from the devastating 2011 tsunami. As the mystery of its contents unfolds, Ruth is pulled into the past, into Nao’s drama and her unknown fate, and forward into her own future.

Full of Ozeki’s signature humor and deeply engaged with the relationship between writer and reader, past and present, fact and fiction, quantum physics, history, and myth, A Tale for the Time Being is a brilliantly inventive, beguiling story of our shared humanity and the search for home.

First Sentence: "Hi!"

Review:

Generally, when I sit down to write my review of a book, I know precisely what I want to say and have a pretty good idea how I feel about the book in question. My reactions tend to be clear and summing up my thoughts is not that difficult. Not so with A Tale for the Time Being. There were parts that I loved utterly, parts that bored me, and parts I'm not sure that I quite fathom. As such, this review might be a bit meandering, so bear with me.

In subject matter, though not in characterization or overall aim, A Tale for the Time Being reminds me heavily of Jonathan Safran Foer's remarkable book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Both follow story lines in the past and the present, as a main character searches through the history of their ancestors to find meaning in life after tragedy. Both draw lines between WWII and 9-11. Both feature odd protagonists, though they are strange in entirely different ways. Ozeki does very different things with these elements, but the similarities are fascinating, and I would recommend A Tale for the Time Being to Foer fans.

The opening pages of Ozeki's tale captured me immediately. A Tale for the Time Being opens with Nao, a sixteen-year-old girl living in Tokyo. Though born in Japan, she feels American, having spent much of her childhood overseas in Sunnyvale, California, where her father was working. When he lost his job in the bursting of the Dot-com bubble, they moved back to Japan. Nao hates it there. Her father still hasn't found work, instead descending first into gambling and then becoming an agoraphobic determined to commit suicide. Nao suffers from the change to the Japanese school system as well, since she's behind academically and horribly bullied by her classmates. At the time she begins her story, she's a drop-out, a ronin, studying to take the exams to get into high school again.

What I loved about the opening, though, is how authentic and real Nao feels. She's been through so much darkness at that point, is herself intent on suicide, but there's something fresh, young, and vibrant about her narration. My favorite parts of Nao's story are always those where she loses her train of thought and goes off on a rambling tangent. Her story itself is very sad, but her tangents are where you really get a look at the real Nao and how her mind works. She's darkly funny and I was desperately hoping for her story to come to a happy ending.

Nao's story takes place within another story, Ruth's. Ruth is half-Japanese and living in a remote Canadian city with her husband, Oliver. An urbanite, Ruth does not love her life there. She hates the way the power is constantly out from the storms and she's been struggling to get any writing done, cut off from her inspiration. Out on the beach, she finds a plastic bag and plans to throw it away, afraid of what might be inside. Oliver opens the bag, and inside finds a Hello Kitty lunchbox, within which are letters in old-fashioned Japanese, a diary in French, and a copy of Proust with a school girl's writing inside, mostly in English.

Ruth's story is both a mystery, as she searches for the ending to Nao's story, and self-discovery. As she reads, Ruth also researches, trying to find evidence that this diary is in fact a true thing. She gets the diaries and letters translated and the story slowly unfolds around her, becoming more present to her than her actual life. There's an almost magical realism sort of feel to Ruth's portion of the narrative, as though there's an actual mystical connection between writer and reader, allowing Ruth to influence the story despite the distance and time between them, though everything else is couched firmly in the real, non-magical world.

Within Nao's story, there are others, as she learns about her grandmother, her uncle and her father. Ozeki's got a huge focus on family and on the importance of life. She also delves into powerful philosophical themes, like the purpose of existence and Schrödinger's cat. The title, for example, is a lovely play on words, making use of two meanings, both a tale for the moment and a tale for beings that live in time. That phrase pops up at many points in the narrative and is crucial to Ozeki's overarching themes.

Unfortunately, I don't really feel like I got this. I think I'm partway there, but I most certainly do not have everything all figured out, which I don't think you're supposed to necessarily, but I should be a bit further along. Part of my problem is that I didn't have any clue where the story was going, having falsely believed Nao's assertion that it would be a story about her grandmother, but Nao is not a reliable storyteller, which had already been established, so silly me. As such, I allowed myself to get bored in sections that didn't seem important to me, because I had a predefined idea of where I thought the story was going. My expectations kept me from paying as much attention as I should have and from picking up all of the threads needed to weave the story into a cohesive, meaningful whole in my head.

All I can leave you with is that, though this novel didn't get an absurdly high rating from me in the end, it's one I will be keeping in my personal collection. These days, I have so many books I tend to give them away once I finish, except the ones in the 4-5 range, and a lot of the 4s I pass on as well. I think A Tale for the Time Being is one of those odd books that I will have a much greater appreciation for on a reread, because I'll have a better idea of what to expect and be able to appreciate more the intricate weaving of Ozeki's story.

Rating: 3/5

Favorite Quote: "And if you decide not to read anymore, hey, no problem, because you're not the one I was waiting for anyway. But if you decide to read on, then guess what? You're my kind of time being and together we'll make magic!"

Sadie Hawkins Sunday Review #5: Fall for Anything

Fall for Anything

Author: Courtney Summers
Pages: 230
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Source: Purchased

Description from Goodreads:
From the author of Cracked Up to Be and Some Girls Are comes a gripping story about one girl’s search for clues into the mysterious death of her father.

When Eddie Reeves’s father commits suicide her life is consumed by the nagging question of why? Why when he was a legendary photographer and a brilliant teacher? Why when he seemed to find inspiration in everything he saw? And, most important, why when he had a daughter who loved him more than anyone else in the world? When she meets Culler Evans, a former student of her father’s and a photographer himself, an instant and dangerous attraction begins. Culler seems to know more about her father than she does and could possibly hold the key to the mystery surrounding his death. But Eddie’s vulnerability has weakened her and Culler Evans is getting too close. Her need for the truth keeps her hanging on...but are some questions better left unanswered?

First Sentence: "My hands are dying."

Review:

Courtney Summers is one of those authors I come to for a really depressing read, and she really delivers in Fall for Anything. Eddie Reeves' has not been the same since her photographer father committed suicide. Of course, who would be with a loved parent dead and no idea why he would do such a thing? Fall for Anything is a girl's search for answers.

In the wake of her father's suicide, Eddie's mother has fallen apart, refusing to leave the house or take off her husband's housecoat. A nosy friend of the family, Beth, moves in to keep the family functioning the way she thinks they should be. Eddie does not approve. I really like how up front Eddie is about her distaste for this person coming and messing with their mourning. The moments when she complains about Beth or about her best friend Milo's girlfriend are when she feels most like a normal teenager.

Seth Reeves hardly left anything behind to explain why he killed himself. Until she knows why, Eddie doesn't know how to deal. To cope, she turns her focus to frustrating Beth and thinking about boys. She's looking for meaning, and if she can't find it in her father's action, maybe she can find it in Culler Evans, his only student. Eddie makes some really dumb choices with regards to romance, but they're so obviously a cry for help even she doesn't know she's making.

My favorite part is the mystery of why Seth jumped from the roof. Eddie and Culler find a box of photographs. From them, they discern clues as to his reason for exiting this world. Their search turns into a road trip and a bunch of life lessons. Those left behind when a loved one commits suicide will always wonder why, and feel culpable; this is why Eddie searches.

One of the most fascinating techniques Summers uses to highlight Eddie's discomfort is the coldness in her hands. Since his death, her hands have not been warm, even though it's the middle of summer. She has trouble using them and it's almost as though they've been damaged by the ordeal and cannot be fixed, in much the way Lady Macbeth couldn't get the damn spot out.

Unfortunately, I never personally connected with Eddie, and I viewed her solely from a distance. My heart didn't ache for her the way it did for Sloane in This Is Not a Test. Both are withdrawn, unhappy, messed up girls, but for some reason Sloane captured my heart and Eddie did not. I think part of my disconnection was how incredibly sad every aspect of this book is. I prefer a bit more humor, even really dark humor, mixed in to lighten the mood. That juxtaposition tends to make points more strongly, I find, than a book that stays consistently sad.

Courtney Summers writes amazing books, though I do not think this one will be my favorite of the bunch. I do, however, plan to revisit this one later in life, because the themes of dealing with grief might be more meaningful for me then.

Rating: 4/5

Favorite Quote: "'Eddie, I think . . . sometimes lies bring you to the truth . . . or help you reconcile with it . . . '"

---

Up Next:

The next Sadie Hawkins Sunday book will be Earth Girl by Janet Edwards. This suggestion comes from Kayla Beck of Bibliophilia, Please, who also gifted me a copy. Thanks lovely!

Want to tell me what to read? Fill out THIS FORM with a book suggestion! For more details, check this post.

If I Could - Jack Johnson

All These Lives

Author: Sarah Wylie
Pages: 245
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giraux Books for Young Readers
Source: Macmillan via NetGalley

Description from Goodreads:
Sixteen-year-old Dani is convinced she has nine lives. As a child she twice walked away from situations where she should have died. But Dani’s twin, Jena, isn’t so lucky.  She has cancer and might not even be able to keep her one life. Dani’s father is in denial. Her mother is trying to hold it together and prove everything’s normal.  And Jena is wasting away.  To cope, Dani sets out to rid herself of all her extra lives.  Maybe they’ll be released into the universe and someone who wants to live more than she does will get one.  Someone like Jena.  But just when Dani finds herself at the breaking point, she’s faced with a startling realization.  Maybe she doesn’t have nine lives after all.  Maybe she really only ever had one.

First Sentence: "This is how it feels to die: It starts from outside and works its way in."

Review:
All These Lives in the latest in my Apocalypsies challenge. Wylie has a deft prose style with its own unique tempo. The writing is fairly simple, but in a natural way, not in a talking down to teens or the author doesn't know any better kind of way. The diction and syntax is so clearly Dani. This is the kind of story that has to be told in first person.

Dani is a serious ball-buster. Put simply, she's a bitch. She doesn't obey her parents, she delivers killer insults to any classmates dumb enough to antagonize her (I LOVE when she tells people off), and she doesn't do her homework. In her desperation and sadness over Jena, she has but one joy in life: flirting salaciously with Jack Penner, nerd. Their relationship definitely was my favorite thing about the novel. They had this awesome, highly awkward dynamic. Plus, you know how I love my nerdy boys!

As bad (or badass) as Dani is, I got the distinct sense that pre-cancer Jena was worse, that Jena was the one who would instigate trouble, and that Dani desperately wanted to be as cool as her fraternal twin. My theory is that as Jena receded Dani began imitating her personality, perhaps to an exaggerated degree, either to inspire Jena to recover or to make her feel as though Jena was still with her at school. However, nothing's really said about how Dani used to be. All you get are vague hints of the past. Trying to piece together life before was definitely a favorite aspect of the book.

All These Lives is about cancer, so I probably don't need to tell you that it's not exactly an upper or a beach read. Much of it is insanely depressing. What I love, though, is that you get to see echoes of the real Jena emerge sometimes on good days. You don't get to see that for a while, and the story definitely picked up when I got to know Jena as a person, not just a pile of blankets. The cast of important characters is very small (Dani, Jena, parents, and Jack), but they're all very well-drawn. It's especially cool that the characters develop throughout the series, both actually and just through Dani's perception of them.

The one thing that didn't work for me was the concept unfortunately. Dani is convinced, because of a joke her mother made when about how they both had nine lives since they survived a couple of accidents, that she really has nine lives. She also heard some folklore about cats having a differing amount of lives and that, when one lost a life, the life could go to another cat. Because of this, she decides she needs to 'lose' her lives, so that her sister can live longer. This just took the whole invincibility of youth thing too far for me. The whole thing was so inconceivable to me (at least in the real world; it might work in a fairy tale setting) that I felt myself drawing away from Dani. I had trouble relating to her, even though I adored her bitchiness, because I could not comprehend her thought process.

Depending on how you feel about the premise, All These Lives could be a much better read for you. Wylie's novel offers a unique lens on dealing with cancer in a loved one. As an added bonus, Wylie avoids YA tropes, and does her own thing. Though this wasn't a perfect read for me personally, I definitely intend to read more Wylie!

Rating: 3.5/5

Favorite Quote: "Even now, it's still hard for him to say it. I don't blame him. It's an icky word. Why couldn't whoever was in charge of naming things call cancer 'sugar' and sugar, 'cancer'? People might not eat so much of the stuff then. And it's so much more pleasant to die of sugar."

"I heard some words
From a friend on the phone
That didn't sound so good
The doctor gave him two weeks to live
I'd give him more if I could"

Mad World - Gary Jules

This Is Not a Test

Author: Courtney Summers
Pages: 323
ARC Acquired from: St. Martin's Griffin via NetGalley

Brief Summary:
Sloane, left behind by her sister Lily with her abusive father, plans to commit suicide. She doesn't, though, because Lily took the pills with her. Cue zombie outbreak. Fast forward seven days. Sloane has somehow managed to survive and is barricaded in the high school with five other teens. For the others, the zombies are a catastrophe, a tragedy, the end of the world, but, for Sloane, they could be a way out, and escape from her awful life.

Review:
The writing, which has a very particular style, definitely took some getting used to. Even now, I'm not completely sure how I feel about the book or the writing. I think it's probably because it's so beautiful, so nuanced and so gut-wrenching. Her writing also has a strangely lyrical quality, enhanced by the strange placement of punctuation.

The world-building in This Is Not a Test is minimal. All we really know is that there was a zombie outbreak, and that's about it. That's because the dystopian aspects aren't what make the book unique, they're not what the book is really about. Whereas most dystopias focus on a person, or group of people, desperate to survive, This Is Not a Test focuses on a girl who wants to die. This viewpoint really changed everything. What scares Sloane is not the zombies, not the dying. She fears having to live.

I've seen this book called "The Breakfast Club meets The Walking Dead." I see where they're going with that, and it's valid. I want to add a comparison to Laurie Halse Anderson and Ilsa J. Bick. If you enjoy those authors, you will love this, and by love I mean be seriously depressed by. I think this one is going to stick with me.

Rating: 4/5

"And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world"

Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band

Everybody Sees the Ants

Author: A. S. King
Pages: 190
ARC Acquired from: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers via NetGalley

Brief Summary:
Lucky Linderman has been bullied by Nader McMillan since they were 7 and Nader peed on his feet in a public restroom. Lucky tried to get help, but no one would act, not his parents, not other student and not the school. Nader's father is a high-powered lawyer and bystanders would rather risk one boy's sanity and happiness than risk a lawsuit. Lucky's parents are distant, his mother retreats to the pool where she does endless laps and his father, a chef, retreats to the kitchen. Lucky retreats to his dreams where he attempts to rescue his grandfather, a POW/MIA in Vietnam. After yet another awful attack from Nader, Lucky and his mom take off to visit his aunt and uncle in Arizona where Lucky will need to do some soul searching.

Review:
This is my first experience with A. S. King, whose books I have wanted to read ever since I read a glowing review of one of his books on Presenting Lenore. I can now see why she received such high praise. King does not shy away from confronting seriously tough truths. She captures just how harsh children can be and does not sugarcoat anything.

Bullying: Nader McMillan is a classic bully, the whole school afraid to piss him off. The fact that he has it out for Lucky, for no reason so far as I could tell, means that Lucky cannot really make friends, since no one wants Nader's attention. In fact, others pick on Lucky to earn Nader's approval. Undoubtedly the most intense scene in the book is a memory of what Nader does to snitches. Let's just say that this cannot be explained away with "boys will be boys." Perhaps even more terrifying is that no one will do anything to stop this. Just imagine what an awful person Nader will grow into if he learns that he has the right to do anything he wishes.

Family: Just because your parents give you everything you need physically and do not beat you does not mean that the relationship is healthy. Lucky's parents are somewhat neglectful, trying to recover from their own past damage. They love their sun, but do so completely ineffectually. Much as teens may pull away, parents need to be there for them. King also considers the fact that just because someone is a little crazy does not make them unlovable; nor does the fact that someone acts really cool mean that they're actually a good person. Basically, everything is complicated when it comes to family.

The Vietnam War: This may actually be my favorite aspect of the book. It is rife with statistics on and references to the Vietnam War, which is one of my favorite historical periods to study. Lucky's grandmother, his dad and he himself are all really into the POW/MIA movement, since Lucky's grandfather was one of the men never to return. This element to warfare, all of the families who never know if their father/husband/son is still alive or dead, is one not focused on very often, as authors tend to focus on the more exciting aspects, rather than the effect the war has years down the line.

The Dreams & the Ants: Honestly, the ants were weird. They, along with the dreams of his grandfather, are really strange. The ants are a metaphor for victimization and standing up for oneself, which I get, but I do not really understand why. The dreams are totally magical realism, because Lucky brings something tangible back from every dream.. I love some well done magical realism.

Everybody Sees the Ants is seriously hard-hitting and entertaining. Lucky makes a great main character, growing in confidence and learning to be himself. Plus, he reads Catch-22, which automatically makes him totally cool. If you like dark humor and truly realistic fiction, give Everybody Sees the Ants a read.

"He wakes up in the morning.
Does his teeth, bite to eat and he's rolling
Never changes a thing.
The week ends, the week begins.

She thinks, we look at each other
Wondering what the other is thinking,
But we never say a thing.
And these crimes between us grow deeper.

Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time.
Lights down, you up and die."

Ugly Side - Blue October

Mars

Volumes: 15
Author: Fuyumi Soryo
Publisher: Tokyopop

Brief Summary:
Kira avoids interacting with her classmates, especially the boys, more comfortable with her art. One day, Rei, the most popular guy in class and a bit of a bad boy, starts talking with her about her art, asking for one of her sketches. She agrees and her offers her anything in payment, except for money. She asks for his body...as a model. He accedes to this request and an unlikely couple is born, although their path will be a rough one.

Review:
Manga gets a lot of judgment for being incredibly melodramatic. Well, Mars definitely is that. The parts that I like least are those sections. A lot of the melodrama brings up tough issues, like rape, suicide, adultery, insanity, etc, but when all crammed together into a single story, it becomes improbable and absurd.

However, despite being over the top, there is something compelling about Mars. The relationship between Rei and Kira does feel real, moreso than most teenage relationships, even if they are super serious all the time. The beginning volumes are definitely the best, because you can watch their relationship grow. For those who do not approve of melodrama, but like sweet stories of first love and unlikely couples, you might want to just read these volumes.

The evolution of Rei and Kira's relationship is very natural. They do not fall in love at first sight, although they are somewhat curious about one another. Nor do they really intend to date. It just sort of happens. They become really good friends who hang out all the time and just sort of slip into being boyfriend and girlfriend without ever having to have the talk about it. That was just so adorable, how neither ever really confessed to the other, but they fell into a relationship just the same.

It is, though, really nice to read series (manga or otherwise) that follow the trajectory of a couple from their first meeting and follow their relationship. So often fiction relies too heavily upon sexual tension to get people's interest, so the couple does not get together until the very end, kissing through the credits. That's nice in it's own way, but unrealistic and not entirely satisfying for one's curiosity. Of course, in place of the drama of "will they get together or won't they," series like this generally put in a lot of external pressures to keep the tension high. And that can be worse.

Overall, Mars is a decent read, but you need to be well-prepared for oh-my-god-drama. Familiarity with manga logic would probably help, too. I definitely would not recommend that someone read this as their first manga. For a similar type of story (following the relationship of a boy and a girl), I would recommend Kare First Love, which has somewhat less melodrama, and certainly less violent melodrama.

Both of these manga depict a sort of natural-seeming relationship. In Mars, for example (since that is the one I'm actually reviewing), Rei feels no real temptation to be with anyone but Kira, even though she is super innocent and will not sleep with him for a long time, something he is definitely not used to. But Rei will still check other girls out on occasion, with no real intention behind it. The only thing that bothers me about the relationships in both is that the guy is a player, who falls for an innocent girl (of course), but when they break up briefly (which both do), he reverts temporarily to his horndog lifestyle. All she does is miss him; why can't the lady go get some while he cries?

"I only want you to see
My favorite part of me
And not my ugly side
Not my ugly side"

Before I close this post, I wanted to announce that you will be seeing more manga reviews here in the future. I know that manga, while extremely popular is not as widely read by reviewers, so I thought I would add my rather knowledgeable voice. To this end, I will be rereading some series I have already read, as well as venturing on new ones. If you love manga or are curious about which to start with or add to your library's collection, A Reader of Fictions is here to help!